Long-term family travel sounds like an extended vacation, but our 110 days in Europe included plenty of ordinary life alongside the adventures.
There were extraordinary adventures (so many of them!!)… but there were also groceries, laundry, work, illness (a particularly nasty stomach bug for both kids a few days after we arrived in Vienna), tired kids that fought with each other, and evenings when everyone JUST WANTED THEIR OWN BED.
We were living life… just… on another continent!!!
(This post is part of my reader Q&A series following our 110 days in Europe. I’ve already talked about planning and packing; today will be about day-to-day life.)
How Did We Handle the Kids’ Need for Alone Time?
Elinoora asked how we handled the moments when Belle or Indy needed quiet or time alone.
We never left Indy in an apartment by himself (he’s 11), but Belle (15) took every chance she got to enjoy solo time. In general, we tried to carve out at least a few hours for her each week. But it definitely varied—some weeks she’d have multiple stints lasting several hours, while at other times (when we were on the road trip and travelling through Scandinavia) she got zero time on her own.
When we were in a settled location—so, Vienna, Helsinki, and Cardiff—every few days, she tended to ask for alone time, and we did our best to fit it into the schedule.
Long-term family travel involves a lot of togetherness. We were exploring together, eating together, and living in relatively confined spaces together.
Giving Belle a few quiet hours alone made the rest of the family time more enjoyable for everyone.
In general, Indy doesn’t need (or want!) time alone. He prefers to be with other humans every waking moment. That said, when that other human is his sister, sparks WILL fly. John and I each took Belle on separate outings so Indy could be home with a parent to just chill.
Belle and I went to the Vienna Crime Museum together, and she ranked the Light of Creation Show one of her favourite experiences of the whole trip (and her entire life)!
What Happened to Our Evenings?
Elinoora also asked about evening dynamics with Indy sleeping on sofas in the living room.
Indy slept on the couch—as we would call it!—for an entire month in Vienna, another month in Helsinki, and about three weeks in Cardiff. He didn’t have a bedroom to himself the entire trip. In each of those long-term spots, Belle had her own bedroom. That was one of my non-negotiables when we were looking at places to stay: I felt strongly that a 15-year-old girl needed her own space. All bets were off the rest of the trip: we shared hotel rooms and crammed into my brother’s apartment in Denmark. But when we were settled in one spot for an extended period of time, Belle had her own space.
I would say… we didn’t have “evenings”!
We all got up at about the same time in the morning and went to bed about the same time at night. It wasn’t necessarily ideal, but there wasn’t a good way around it when we were living in a confined space.
This was one of the tradeoffs of choosing smaller, less expensive accommodations. I didn’t really think about it too much. It was just how things had to work and we all naturally adjusted.
In terms of alone time, I wanted and needed it, too. John would take the kids on adventures without me and I always appreciated quiet time during the day and craved that more than quiet time in the evenings.
Then again, John often worked during the day so a few times a week after dinner, we’d leave the kids home together (Belle was in charge), and we’d go off and explore. In Helsinki, we found a go-to sushi spot near our apartment and went there 5 or 6 times on date nights, which was great.
I also want to give credit where it’s due: not a single time did Indy complain about sleeping on a couch in a common living space.
How Was Long-Term Family Travel Different From Our Previous Trips?
Melissa asked whether long-term travel was simply the same as our previous European trips—but longer.
Yes and no.
I planned in very similar ways.
On a short trip, every day feels precious. When we went on family trips to Paris, Barcelona, and Portugal there was definitely an urge to “maximize” every minute because the flight home was looming. We might have a slow morning, or come back to our hotel around supper time to watch a movie but, in general, it was go, go, go.
During this trip, we had to establish a pace closer to ordinary life.
We bought groceries (strangely enough, the kids still wanted to eat!). We did laundry. John worked (he took about three weeks of vacation the whole time we were away). But there were entire days we didn’t leave the apartment and would just recuperate: screen time, lazing in our PJs, getting caught up on laundry and food prep.
We couldn’t treat 110 consecutive days as sightseeing days.
The biggest hurdle for me was accepting that a quiet day was not a wasted day. It was part of what allowed us to keep going and I knew that intellectually, but sometimes I felt like I needed to remind myself that rest is an activity, too!
I didn’t want this opportunity to explore the world (and really get to “know” places like Vienna and Helsinki) to slip through our fingers. The time did go by in a flash, but I feel like we ended up with a good balance of adventuring and squeezing every drop out of the experience, without it feeling like a chore.
We also became more confident and settled over time. Unfamiliar transit systems and foreign grocery stores became less intimidating. After a few days in Vienna, I knew what products I liked at the Hofer and knew exactly where to find them. I would say the trip began to feel less like a vacation and more like temporarily living abroad.
What Would I Do Differently for a Six-Month Trip?
Theresa asked what I would change if we repeated the experience for six months.
I’d slow the pace a bit more and spread out the length of our stays. I felt like we had more time than we needed in Helsinki B, but I would have given just about anything for a few more days in Scotland and Slovenia.
That said, this was never a vacation with no limitations. Month-long apartment rentals are generally much cheaper than shorter stints, and John was working full time (aside from vacation weeks and some statutory holidays in Europe).
I suppose that means that another angle to my answer depends on whether adults are working or not because that would change the dynamics. If John had been off the whole time, we likely would have structured things differently. We probably would have stretched out the road trip, and done a few things at a slightly more leisurely pace.
Living rooms that doubled as bedrooms were manageable for four months. If we were going for six months (and if Indy were a teen himself), I think everyone would benefit from more physical separation.
We’d also have to think more carefully about seasonal changes (Helsinki in January is dark and cold!), school routines, and how often we wanted to pack everything up and move.
For 110 days, our pace worked.
What Were the Advantages of Living in Large Cities?
mbmom11 asked about what we thought of big city life.
I really loved the anonymity.
I missed our friends, so it was a tradeoff, but it was nice to blend into a crowd. I’m an introvert, so I appreciated not having to make small talk very often.
I loved the public transit systems, especially in Vienna, Helsinki and Copenhagen. It was incredibly convenient not to have to navigate those cities by car.
I also appreciated having easy access to so many interesting things:
- Free concerts
- Amusement parks—Prater + Linnanmäki (admittedly, the kids were more enthused about this but I loved it vicariously through them)
- Gorgeous churches and other incredible architecture
- Places steeped in history (Roman ruins in Vienna, burial mounds in Denmark, Dachau outside of Munich)
- Restaurants and new foods to try
- Museums (lots of them free, especially for kids)
- Parks
Living in a small Nova Scotian town has many advantages, but immediate access to that range of experiences is not one of them!
Did This Adventure Make Us More Adventurous?
mbmom11 also asked if I thought this trip made our family more adventurous/bold/confident in the long run.
Yes!
I can’t wait to travel again. I think we all have wanderlust.
Now that the kids have Portuguese citizenship there is a not-insignificant chance one of them might pursue education in Europe one day.
The kids also proved they could handle changing plans, unfamiliar systems, language barriers… and long days of walking!!
I hope that confidence stays with them!
What Made the Trip Feel Like Home?
Diane asked a great question: “What were the moments/ habits/ routines that you had that made your trip feel like home on the road?”
As cliché as it may sound, I think each place felt like home in its own way because we were together as a family.
The place that felt most like home was our apartment in Vienna.
We loved that city and were all very, very sad to leave.
The apartment was lovely and homey. We had a neighbour in the apartment complex opposite us who chain-smoked on her balcony all. the. time. We nicknamed her Marguerite and still talk about her. We learned little quirks about our place (it took us a solid week to figure out the stairwell lighting, so we were constantly having to use our cell phone flashlight to get up the stairs to our apartment).
Having go-to grocery stores and brands we liked felt familiar and comforting. In Helsinki, John and I had that favourite sushi shop that we frequented for date nights. It was special to walk by Rachel’s house on the way to the local grocery store in her neighbourhood outside Cardiff.
Those more “ordinary” rhythms helped the trip feel like “life” rather than constant tourism.
Which Felt Most Foreign?
Diane also asked what made certain places feel the most foreign.
Language!!! Not being able to understand the conversations happening around you—or conversations directed at you—is an odd feeling.
And we lived that way for consecutive months.
It’s also an odd sensation to not know your way around: we didn’t know transit stops, didn’t know certain cultural norms, didn’t know the little quirks of a location that you learn over time.
Not having regular school routines was also bizarre, and the kids missed their friends.
I missed not having a church family nearby and the comfort of a weekly routine of worshipping with a group of people.
Which Country Would We Choose If We Had to Move Permanently?
Katherine asked which country we would choose if we had to leave Nova Scotia permanently and settle in one of the countries we visited.
I would say Austria (Belle agrees). There’s a reason it’s voted one of the most Liveable Cities in the World (#2 this year after Copenhagen).
Copenhagen is lovely, too.
For a permanent move, we’d have to consider language, schools, employment, residency, cost of living, distance from Canada, public transit, and how easy it would be to build a community.
As much as we loved Vienna, I do get the sense the pace of life and education system are incredible in Helsinki. It’s very family-friendly and I can also see settling there, although we didn’t enjoy the vibe of the city nearly as much as Vienna.
More realistically, though, I suspect if we ever settled somewhere in Europe, it would be most likely to be Portugal because citizenship there would streamline the process of owning property and accessing all sorts of public services.
Did Britain Feel “Broken”?
Katherine also asked a pointed question. “More controversially, you will be aware of the trope that Britain is “broken”. Based on what you saw while you were here, and on the continent, and your normal life in Canada, what truth, if any, is there in this idea?”
First, we were visitors in the country, not residents. We didn’t use the healthcare or school systems. We weren’t trying to find permanent housing or employment. We saw a handful of cities and regions for relatively brief periods.
In other words, a tourist’s impressions are not the same as living somewhere and I am wildly under-qualified to offer feedback on this issue.
I did feel like parts of the country felt quite gritty, compared to other European cities we visited. For example: we saw blood on the streets in Bristol, along with human feces; we saw someone with an ankle bracelet at our bus stop in Cardiff and I would not feel safe walking on the main pedestrian street in downtown Cardiff at night (the suburb where we stayed was very quiet and safe-feeling, but the downtown core felt quite rough in certain places), where I would have in Vienna.
But I don’t think any country can be summarized neatly as thriving or broken, and we loved our time in the UK.
Who Were the Most Memorable People We Met?
Another great question from Diane.
We didn’t meet too many strangers in a meaningful way.
The public transit workers in London were incredibly helpful, and the bus drivers in Cardiff were very friendly. (Which ties in nicely to Katherine’s question, above!)
Rose, a woman we sat close to on the train to Scotland, was a dear soul.
Meeting blogging friends was also a huge highlight. They helped me navigate their respective cities:
Those connections added something special to the trip. The destinations were beautiful, but people are often what make a place memorable.
A Completely Different Question: Spelling and Handwriting
Nina asked whether anything had helped Indy with spelling and letter formation.
Oof.
I didn’t work on this nearly as much as I should have while we were in Europe.
That said, we tackled spelling for a few months.
I would give him a word, and he would write it down. I opted for 15 new words in each session. When we reached the end of the list, we went back through his spelling and corrected mistakes.
The next time we did spelling, we reviewed the previous list.
Anything he spelled correctly was removed from future review. We added new words and continued revisiting only the words he had struggled with before.
As for letter formation? I DID NOTHING.
His writing is legible, but it’s not great.
I wrote more about my mixed feelings around handwriting in Handwriting: Fading Art or Skill Worth Saving?
Your turn:
- Have you ever travelled long enough for a destination to start feeling like home?
- How much alone time does your family need while travelling?
- Would you prefer several months based in one city or a faster trip through lots of destinations?
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