Long-term family travel sounds like an extended vacation, but our 110 days in Europe included plenty of ordinary life alongside the adventures.
There were extraordinary adventures (so many of them!!)… but there were also groceries, laundry, work, illness (a particularly nasty stomach bug for both kids a few days after we arrived in Vienna), tired kids that fought with each other, and evenings when everyone JUST WANTED THEIR OWN BED.
We were living life… just… on another continent!!!
(This post is part of my reader Q&A series following our 110 days in Europe. I’ve already talked about planning and packing; today will be about day-to-day life.)
How Did We Handle the Kids’ Need for Alone Time?
Elinoora asked how we handled the moments when Belle or Indy needed quiet or time alone.
We never left Indy in an apartment by himself (he’s 11), but Belle (15) took every chance she got to enjoy solo time. In general, we tried to carve out at least a few hours for her each week. But it definitely varied—some weeks she’d have multiple stints lasting several hours, while at other times (when we were on the road trip and travelling through Scandinavia) she got zero time on her own.
When we were in a settled location—so, Vienna, Helsinki, and Cardiff—every few days, she tended to ask for alone time, and we did our best to fit it into the schedule.
Long-term family travel involves a lot of togetherness. We were exploring together, eating together, and living in relatively confined spaces together.
Giving Belle a few quiet hours alone made the rest of the family time more enjoyable for everyone.
In general, Indy doesn’t need (or want!) time alone. He prefers to be with other humans every waking moment. That said, when that other human is his sister, sparks WILL fly. John and I each took Belle on separate outings so Indy could be home with a parent to just chill.
Belle and I went to the Vienna Crime Museum together, and she ranked the Light of Creation Show one of her favourite experiences of the whole trip (and her entire life)!
What Happened to Our Evenings?
Elinoora also asked about evening dynamics with Indy sleeping on sofas in the living room.
Indy slept on the couch—as we would call it!—for an entire month in Vienna, another month in Helsinki, and about three weeks in Cardiff. He didn’t have a bedroom to himself the entire trip. In each of those long-term spots, Belle had her own bedroom. That was one of my non-negotiables when we were looking at places to stay: I felt strongly that a 15-year-old girl needed her own space. All bets were off the rest of the trip: we shared hotel rooms and crammed into my brother’s apartment in Denmark. But when we were settled in one spot for an extended period of time, Belle had her own space.
I would say… we didn’t have “evenings”!
We all got up at about the same time in the morning and went to bed about the same time at night. It wasn’t necessarily ideal, but there wasn’t a good way around it when we were living in a confined space.
This was one of the tradeoffs of choosing smaller, less expensive accommodations. I didn’t really think about it too much. It was just how things had to work and we all naturally adjusted.
In terms of alone time, I wanted and needed it, too. John would take the kids on adventures without me and I always appreciated quiet time during the day and craved that more than quiet time in the evenings.
Then again, John often worked during the day so a few times a week after dinner, we’d leave the kids home together (Belle was in charge), and we’d go off and explore. In Helsinki, we found a go-to sushi spot near our apartment and went there 5 or 6 times on date nights, which was great.
I also want to give credit where it’s due: not a single time did Indy complain about sleeping on a couch in a common living space.
How Was Long-Term Family Travel Different From Our Previous Trips?
Melissa asked whether long-term travel was simply the same as our previous European trips—but longer.
Yes and no.
I planned in very similar ways.
On a short trip, every day feels precious. When we went on family trips to Paris, Barcelona, and Portugal there was definitely an urge to “maximize” every minute because the flight home was looming. We might have a slow morning, or come back to our hotel around supper time to watch a movie but, in general, it was go, go, go.
During this trip, we had to establish a pace closer to ordinary life.
We bought groceries (strangely enough, the kids still wanted to eat!). We did laundry. John worked (he took about three weeks of vacation the whole time we were away). But there were entire days we didn’t leave the apartment and would just recuperate: screen time, lazing in our PJs, getting caught up on laundry and food prep.
We couldn’t treat 110 consecutive days as sightseeing days.
The biggest hurdle for me was accepting that a quiet day was not a wasted day. It was part of what allowed us to keep going and I knew that intellectually, but sometimes I felt like I needed to remind myself that rest is an activity, too!
I didn’t want this opportunity to explore the world (and really get to “know” places like Vienna and Helsinki) to slip through our fingers. The time did go by in a flash, but I feel like we ended up with a good balance of adventuring and squeezing every drop out of the experience, without it feeling like a chore.
We also became more confident and settled over time. Unfamiliar transit systems and foreign grocery stores became less intimidating. After a few days in Vienna, I knew what products I liked at the Hofer and knew exactly where to find them. I would say the trip began to feel less like a vacation and more like temporarily living abroad.
What Would I Do Differently for a Six-Month Trip?
Theresa asked what I would change if we repeated the experience for six months.
I’d slow the pace a bit more and spread out the length of our stays. I felt like we had more time than we needed in Helsinki, but I would have given just about anything for a few more days in Scotland and Slovenia.
That said, this was never a vacation with no limitations. Month-long apartment rentals are generally much cheaper than shorter stints, and John was working full time (aside from vacation weeks and some statutory holidays in Europe).
I suppose that means that another angle to my answer depends on whether adults are working or not because that would change the dynamics. If John had been off the whole time, we likely would have structured things differently. We probably would have stretched out the road trip, and done a few things at a slightly more leisurely pace.
Living rooms that doubled as bedrooms were manageable for four months. If we were going for six months (and if Indy were a teen himself), I think everyone would benefit from more physical separation.
We’d also have to think more carefully about seasonal changes (Helsinki in January is dark and cold!), school routines, and how often we wanted to pack everything up and move.
For 110 days, our pace worked.
What Were the Advantages of Living in Large Cities?
mbmom11 asked about what we thought of big city life.
I really loved the anonymity.
I missed our friends, so it was a tradeoff, but it was nice to blend into a crowd. I’m an introvert, so I appreciated not having to make small talk very often.
I loved the public transit systems, especially in Vienna, Helsinki and Copenhagen. It was incredibly convenient not to have to navigate those cities by car.
I also appreciated having easy access to so many interesting things:
- Free concerts
- Amusement parks—Prater + Linnanmäki (admittedly, the kids were more enthused about this but I loved it vicariously through them)
- Gorgeous churches and other incredible architecture
- Places steeped in history (Roman ruins in Vienna, burial mounds in Denmark, Dachau outside of Munich)
- Restaurants and new foods to try
- Museums (lots of them free, especially for kids)
- Parks
Living in a small Nova Scotian town has many advantages, but immediate access to that range of experiences is not one of them!
Did This Adventure Make Us More Adventurous?
mbmom11 also asked if I thought this trip made our family more adventurous/bold/confident in the long run.
Yes!
I can’t wait to travel again. I think we all have wanderlust.
Now that the kids have Portuguese citizenship there is a not-insignificant chance one of them might pursue education in Europe one day.
The kids also proved they could handle changing plans, unfamiliar systems, language barriers… and long days of walking!!
I hope that confidence stays with them!
What Made the Trip Feel Like Home?
Diane asked a great question: “What were the moments/ habits/ routines that you had that made your trip feel like home on the road?”
As cliché as it may sound, I think each place felt like home in its own way because we were together as a family.
The place that felt most like home was our apartment in Vienna.
We loved that city and were all very, very sad to leave.
The apartment was lovely and homey. We had a neighbour in the apartment complex opposite us who chain-smoked on her balcony all. the. time. We nicknamed her Marguerite and still talk about her. We learned little quirks about our place (it took us a solid week to figure out the stairwell lighting, so we were constantly having to use our cell phone flashlight to get up the stairs to our apartment).
Having go-to grocery stores and brands we liked felt familiar and comforting. In Helsinki, John and I had that favourite sushi shop that we frequented for date nights. It was special to walk by Rachel’s house on the way to the local grocery store in her neighbourhood outside Cardiff.
Those more “ordinary” rhythms helped the trip feel like “life” rather than constant tourism.
Which Felt Most Foreign?
Diane also asked what made certain places feel the most foreign.
Language!!! Not being able to understand the conversations happening around you—or conversations directed at you—is an odd feeling.
And we lived that way for consecutive months.
It’s also an odd sensation to not know your way around: we didn’t know transit stops, didn’t know certain cultural norms, didn’t know the little quirks of a location that you learn over time.
Not having regular school routines was also bizarre, and the kids missed their friends.
I missed not having a church family nearby and the comfort of a weekly routine of worshipping with a group of people.
Which Country Would We Choose If We Had to Move Permanently?
Katherine asked which country we would choose if we had to leave Nova Scotia permanently and settle in one of the countries we visited.
I would say Austria (Belle agrees). There’s a reason it’s voted one of the most Liveable Cities in the World (#2 this year after Copenhagen).
Copenhagen is lovely, too.
For a permanent move, we’d have to consider language, schools, employment, residency, cost of living, distance from Canada, public transit, and how easy it would be to build a community.
As much as we loved Vienna, I do get the sense the pace of life and education system are incredible in Helsinki. It’s very family-friendly and I can also see settling there, although we didn’t enjoy the vibe of the city nearly as much as Vienna.
More realistically, though, I suspect if we ever settled somewhere in Europe, it would most likely be in Portugal because citizenship there would streamline the process of owning property and accessing all sorts of public services.
Did Britain Feel “Broken”?
Katherine also asked a pointed question. “More controversially, you will be aware of the trope that Britain is “broken”. Based on what you saw while you were here, and on the continent, and your normal life in Canada, what truth, if any, is there in this idea?”
First, we were visitors in the country, not residents. We didn’t use the healthcare or school systems. We weren’t trying to find permanent housing or employment. We saw a handful of cities and regions for relatively brief periods.
In other words, a tourist’s impressions are not the same as living somewhere and I am wildly under-qualified to offer feedback on this issue.
I did feel like parts of the country felt quite gritty, compared to other European cities we visited. For example: we saw blood on the streets in Bristol, along with human feces; we saw someone with an ankle bracelet at our bus stop in Cardiff and I would not feel safe walking on the main pedestrian street in downtown Cardiff at night (the suburb where we stayed was very quiet and safe-feeling, but the downtown core felt quite rough in certain places), where I would have in Vienna.
But I don’t think any country can be summarized neatly as thriving or broken, and we loved our time in the UK.
Who Were the Most Memorable People We Met?
Another great question from Diane.
We didn’t meet too many strangers in a meaningful way.
The public transit workers in London were incredibly helpful, and the bus drivers in Cardiff were very friendly. (Which ties in nicely to Katherine’s question, above!)
Rose, a woman we sat close to on the train to Scotland, was a dear soul.
Meeting blogging friends was also a huge highlight. They helped me navigate their respective cities:
Those connections added something special to the trip. The destinations were beautiful, but people are often what make a place memorable.
A Completely Different Question: Spelling and Handwriting
Nina asked whether anything had helped Indy with spelling and letter formation.
Oof.
I didn’t work on this nearly as much as I should have while we were in Europe.
That said, we tackled spelling for a few months.
I would give him a word, and he would write it down. I opted for 15 new words in each session. When we reached the end of the list, we went back through his spelling and corrected mistakes.
The next time we did spelling, we reviewed the previous list.
Anything he spelled correctly was removed from future review. We added new words and continued revisiting only the words he had struggled with before.
As for letter formation? I DID NOTHING.
His writing is legible, but it’s not great.
I wrote more about my mixed feelings around handwriting in Handwriting: Fading Art or Skill Worth Saving?
Your turn:
- Have you ever travelled long enough for a destination to start feeling like home?
- How much alone time does your family need while travelling?
- Would you prefer several months based in one city or a faster trip through lots of destinations?
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If I travel with my husband, it’s move fast through many destinations. He doesn’t like staying in the same place twice. ( I don’t think he realizes this, but the kids notice!)
I will say our months in TN all those years ago were nice- we would hit points of interest on the weekends, and gave a school/work routine on weekdays. It was hard on me, though, as I’m not socially adept and didn’t see anyone but my little kids throughout the weekdays. Near the end of our stay, I wound up taking them out to the McDonald’s with a play place two or three times a week just to escape the house. I’m lucky my husband took a bike to work then. But overall, I coped- getting used to the grocery stores and parks made life easier.
Thanks for answering my questions!
I have definitely spent some hot summer afternoons at McDonald’s Play Places with my kids, too!!! Those afternoons can be soooo long (especially once naps are off the table).
Public transit workers in London were honestly the most helpful people I have maybe encountered ever!
With the kids, the longest we have travelled is two weeks, so I’m not sure that qualifies. With just me and Rob, my max is 3 weeks, since I don’t want to leave Rex for longer than that!
THEY WERE SO HELPFUL. Like, there were people who were literally just there to answer questions.
Three weeks is still a big commitment, especially when leaving a beloved pup at home. Until this trip, I think our max with the kids was a little over 2 weeks (aside from our Ontario/New York roadtrip which coincided with a few different stays along the way and was almost a month I think).
As someone British, I don’t think my country is ‘broken’ but it has suffered from austerity cuts from the Conservative government, and wealthier areas tend to be better funded. I also notice that the streets are dirtier. Having said that, I have never had any issues with the NHS, aside from there being very few NHS dentists. I’m hoping the new prime minister can start improving things.
Denmark feels like a second home to me!
You have a unique perspective being British and yet living for so long in Denmark! I’m curious what major differences you notice between the two places…
I think both countries are actually pretty similar, only Denmark invests more in certain areas (ie, public transport, education and cycle lanes), where Britain is perhaps more divided. I think Britain has a self-deprecating sense of humour which doesn’t always translate. Denmark, I feel, is more of a monoculture while Britain is more multicultural.
Thanks for circling back and answering about this! Fascinating <3
I will say once again that I think you’re brave for doing this at all. It sounds like my absolute worst nightmare! LOL. Also, I would have scrapped all the little bags and taken one big one and taken Ubers or cabs. I, obviously, live a very lux lifestyle. (I’m rolling my eyes at my own self.)
Ha! Fair enough! This sort of travel is definitely NOT for everyone.
There is a huge difference between a trip and a vacation. I’d much prefer to settle in somewhere and then do little day trips, because it is impossible to see it all no matter how much time. And when you try to see it all, it mushes together in a confusing blur of tangled memories.
Time alone is my most pressing need when away from home.
A 24/7 chain-smoker next door sounds HORRIBLE. That poor woman, enslaved by addiction and trapped in an apartment.
I will admit that while I felt sorry for the woman who smoked so regularly, there was a little sort of… specialness associated with the fact we saw her so often (never smelled cigarette smoke, or I would have been singing a VERY different tune) that she made such a regular appearance across the courtyard from us.
I’m a teacher with summers off and have a partner (no kids) but often take a 2-4 week solo summer trip. My “formula” is to choose a Latin American location that I want to visit and take daily Spanish classes there (usually 9:00 – 1:00) and then spend the rest of the day exploring / relaxing, with some weekend day trips too. Even during my two week trips this tends to be enough time for someplace to feel like “home,” meaning that I know my way around and have shops, cafes, etc. where I regularly go. My partner and I also tend to choose a location to stay for a week and then use it as a base (for example, we stayed in Lisbon for a week but did a bunch of day trips from there). I like having time to settle in somewhere and also like to not be constantly on the move. Only problem is I want to see *everywhere* and this is a slower way to get through my vacation wish list. 🙂
Love that formula! It gives so much structure and purpose to the days while also allowing lots of time for exploration and adventure.
I always feel that push pull of so much to see, so little time!
Most of my travel has been about 2 weeks, moving about from place to place. I’ve never had an extended number of months of travel so have never felt like a place was home; however, if we’ve had a base location for a few days I love it when we return to the same shop/restaurant and become friendly with the owners/staff. I like moving around to see as much as I can due to time limitations. As I’ve aged I do factor in more rest time and really think about how far reaching I want to make a trip – how many cities/places do I think I want to/can visit especially when I am navigating the transportation as opposed to an organized tour.
It is nice to have a familiar place/person to see on travels. There’s something “grounding” about it.
Yes! I have had extended stays in many European cities, while I was working for a German company (in my 20s and early 30s). It’s definitely a different way to see a city, rather than a short stay as a tourist. But- I didn’t have kids with me! Every time we would move to a new city, I would take a day to organize my own needs (where I was going to run, buy food, etc). I think it would be very difficult to do with kids- but as with most difficult things, I’m sure it was very rewarding.
I love how much of the world you got to see, Jenny!
And yes, a very different vibe when navigating this sort of thing with kids, but they were old enough to be mostly independent for a lot of things which helped. I cannot IMAGINE trying to do this with toddlers in tow. (Though I know people do indeed do it!)
Thanks for answering my questions! I’m going to think on this for our next trip – it’s a good point, my husband and I can still have a somewhat more extended evening in our bedroom, even if 1 kid sleeps in the sofa.
I also love the idea of having a ‘home base’ to explore from. It won’t be for the next holiday, I think, but might be a nice idea for next summer. Alternating rest days with more exploration days.
I’ve never done extended travel like this. Our New England road trip in October is going to be one of our longest trips/time away from home – we’ll be gone 10 days! It’s harder to take extended travel when you have pets because the cost of boarding them/paying a sitter really adds up! And I just don’t like being away from home that long. After a week, I start getting homesick. So a week is my sweet spot (the NE trip will be an interesting test!!).
Ten days is a long time! It’s a lot to plan for (and pack for), and definitely having pets complicates things. A lot!!
Wow, I can imagine that being gone for such a long time is exhilarating and exhausting at the same time. I think you’ve done a fantastic job anticipating and planning for things like “alone time”, or how to handle tight quarters or big cities. I am sure things would have been a little different if John hadn’t had to work the whole time, but it’s still quite cool that you could make it work and accompany him as a family. Did his company pay any part of this trip (e.g. lodging)?
I think the longest trip I’ve done is 4 weeks, but we were on the go the whole time so we never really “settled” anywhere. The only time that happened was my exchange semester in CA for 6 months.
His company gave us a stipend that could go toward things like accommodations, but we paid for them up front.
I was set to do an exchange in university—to Denmark! for a year!—but it fell through at the last minute and I’ve always felt a bit wistful about that. This definitely gave me that living abroad experience.
The longest with kids… 33 days in France last summer. This summer’s Italy was 25 days. I would move to a small village in France or Italy in a heartbeat. Like you, an introvert in me needs alone time 🙂