Hi. I’ve missed you. I’ve really, really, really missed you!
Writing this post feels stranger than it should. But, then again, a lot has happened since we last chatted…In case you missed it or happen to be new here: I had a blog. I loved my blog. And then that blog was accidentally deleted.
If I were aiming to make metaphorical lemonade out of metaphorical lemons, I could identify several reasons why, in the grand scheme of things, losing my old blog might actually have been a good thing. Sometimes, over the last few weeks, I’ve done just that – squeezing every last drop of acidic juice out of my lemons, adding some sugar, taking a sip, and saying: Ah, this is delicious.
But, if we’re being honest with each other, I quickly ran out of sugar and choked on a whole bunch of pits.
Translation? Losing my blog felt like a Very Sad Thing in the middle of a series of Extra Hard Things. I tried to be positive and keep things in perspective but there were several instances of guttural sobbing.
During my (unplanned) hiatus I read You Could Make This Place Beautiful by Maggie Smith. One quote stood out in particular – not just as it related to my blog, but other aspects of current life which are not what I would choose if I had a say in the matter:
“I didn’t want this lemonade…This lemonade was not worth the lemons. And yet, the lemons were mine. I had to make something from them, so I did.”
Maggie Smith
And thus, the Optimistic Musings of a Pessimist was born.
Let’s get back to discussing my lemonade, shall we? It really is delicious on a hot summer day.
Here’s the sweetest sip of all: I lost my content but not my people. I was humbled and felt sincere love and affection from so many blog readers with their outpouring of love and support.
Other sips?
- I had long regretted using my full name in my web address. When I started blogging I: a) didn’t read many blogs (and the ones I did read tended to use their names – think Laura Vanderkam and Gretchen Rubin) and b) didn’t really think anybody would visit my website.
- I wanted to pull back a bit on how much I shared about my kids.
- Some personal challenges in my neighbouring environment made me feel cautious about both of the above.
- I wanted a logo.
- I wanted to have a dedicated hosting site (previously self-hosted…which did not end well).
- I wanted an SSL.
- I wanted various features on my blog that I didn’t know how to do and my previous developer was no longer available.
Here’s what it feels like today.
It feels like I’ve moved into a new house. Some of the furnishings look the same, but the room configurations are different. I see familiar things, but they still look out of place in their new environment. I can’t remember what cabinet the movers stashed my favourite drinking glasses in and I have to send all my friends Google Map links before they come visit.
But everyone eventually shows up to the housewarming party, someone rummages around in the kitchen until they find my beloved glassware, and then we all pour tall glasses of lemonade, find a comfy chair, and catch up. The house has changed but the people, thank goodness, haven’t. My favourite lemonade glasses are still in the cupboard and, eventually, I’ll be able to find my house without plugging the address into a GPS.
Was it overwhelming? Yes. Is it still overwhelming? Yes. Is it going to be okay?
Yes.
Your turn. What lemons have you been handed in your life lately? Have you managed to transform any of them into lemonade?
Photo by Charity Beth Long on Unsplash
Lisa’s Yarns
Yay! You are back! Oh how I have missed you! And wow have people missed you. I’ve seen comments all over asking what happened to your blog!
I can’t think of any lemons I’ve turned into lemonade recently. Surely there are things but I am really blanking on anything noteable. If I had to choose something, I would say that having to change daycares was really stressful but now I feel really good about the place Taco is at. He usually doesn’t cry at drop off anymore and I like the updates we get from school during the day. I don’t always look at them but it’s nice to know they are there!
Elisabeth
I’ve missed chatting in this forum, too <3
I'm so glad things have smoothed out and Will seems content in his new location. Yay! I know that was a stressor for a long time, and then having to actually make the move was stressful - and now it's behind you.
Kyria @ Travel Spot
Hurray! Welcome back! I am very sad that your old blog got deleted but sometimes a fresh slate is just what you need! I think we often get comfortable with what we have and don’t take steps to change or improve it because it is what we are used to. You got your rug whipped out from under you BUT this could be just the change that you need in some ways! Also, just like breakfast dates with friends, we all had the conversations and made the memories over your posts and comments and those will never go away!
When my grandma died, it was a big lemon, but my brother and I flew back east to be with her and were there when she passed away. My lemonade is that it was nice to be there to see her one more time, and to be there for my aunt and uncle and to be a stand in for my Mom, who couldn’t make it. Other “sips” as you call it is that we went back for her memorial and saw some family members we had not seen in years. My biggest “gulp” is that it made me sit and rethink time (as death tends to do) and I know that I want to make more time for the people and things I love NOW rather than waiting until some unknown time in the future.
Elisabeth
Aww. Losing a loved one is definitely a whole other level of “lemons” but I’m glad that you were able to make something beautiful out of that sad time.
Nicole MacPherson
This looks great, Elisabeth! I love the way the site looks, and the comment section is different – clicking on the top instead of at the bottom – and I like it a lot.
I know what you mean about a new fresh start, and although STARTING AGAIN ALL NEW is overwhelming, you did it! And you looked at the bright side of doing it. Now that you have some years of blogging under your belt, you can make adjustments as needed.
I used to share more about my kids and as they got older, I didn’t want to anymore. My blog really transformed from an old-school “mommy blog” to one where I talk about shopping carts and my chin hair. Life is a journey. I think it’s a really smart idea to have a different name than your own in the url as well.
I’m glad you’re back, I’m glad you’re in the community, you are very loved and were very missed by so many on your unplanned hiatus.
Elisabeth
Awww. Thanks, Nicole. You’ve been such a wonderful support <3
You know I am here for shopping cart discussions any day of the week 🙂
Joy
I’m glad you’re back, my friend.
Elisabeth
Me too! Thanks for showing up here – and in my actual life – every day! Hugs <3
J
I’m so glad you are back! I think some of your silver linings are pretty good ones.
I can’t think of any lemonade in my life lately. I mean, overall life is good, but I’m still so sad about losing my dog that I can’t find any silver lining to that, other than I don’t have to pick up dog poop anymore, and we didn’t have to figure out boarding or whatever when we went to Alaska. Blah, not worth it.
Elisabeth
Thanks, J.
Mulder was such a special dog and that feeling of loss will never go away because he was a wonderful companion. Grief doesn’t have an expiration date, and I know you’ll cherish all your memories with him for the rest of your life, but also feel heartache that he’s no longer here. Definitely not something you can make lemonade out of…
I’m glad you were able to get “back home” to Alaska for a while, though. The pictures are stunning!
Stephany
YAYYYY! Every time you commented on a blog post of mine in the past few weeks, I immediately looked at the website address line to see if you had gotten back to blogging. I am so, so sorry your old blog was deleted but I am so, so happy you are back. I have seriously missed your posts!
I think my lemon was not getting the raise I was expecting to receive at the end of last year (everyone in my org got piddly raises, even though we were told differently), and that meant moving to a two-bedroom apartment was going to make my budget VERY tight. And then I found out my rent wasn’t going to increase for my current one-bedroom apartment, and I’m paying WAY below market rate right now, so I’m staying put for at least another year. I wanted to be in a bigger, better space but I’m trying to make the best of my apartment as it is right now.
Elisabeth
Thanks, Stephany. I’ve really missed writing/blogging!!!
Oooff – that is a big lemon. I’m so sorry about the raise. I’m glad your current place can continue to work and maybe this means an awesome place will be waiting for you at just the right time in the future.
Shelly
I am so happy you are back. This is a lemonade day for my blog reading.
I had a site under my name at one point and completely understand how a shift to a different name can allow some space.
My kids are sick with colds. Welcome back to the school year. I’m exhausted from work. Today I stayed home to be here with the kids even though they don’t need me as much it feels good. And the lemonade is a day spent today with reading, a bit of cooking for my kids and reading musings from someone I would not call a pessimist.
Elisabeth
I don’t think I ever remember a year with so many colds in September. I feel like the entire school where my kids attend is one giant cold bug! Everyone is sick.
I’m glad that you managed to find some positives about being home – reading and cooking sound like great ways to make “lemonade” out of the situation.
Jenny
We’ve missed you so much! I LOVE the new blog! Yes, losing your blog totally sucked, but you really did make lemonade. I love how you took the opportunity to make the changes you wanted. The new title is great! You’ll have this blog for years and years, and when you look back and remember losing the old blog it will just be like a little blip on the radar. So glad you’re back!
Elisabeth
Thanks for the kind words, Jenny! It is nice to be back and you’re right – this time next year it will all be a distant memory. Some day, I’ll likely even laugh about the whole thing happening?!
Lindsay
Oh, I’m so happy to find this site and read this post and hear your voice! And, bonus points to the new name – that Maggie Smith memoir got me both in the feels and in the self-reflections.
Life has been metaphorically lemony lately, but I’m trying to approach them remembering I can make with the lemons what I can, but to look at all the other things (fruits? Oof, metaphors…) that I have as well.
Welcome back, Elisabeth and here’s to new new spaces and lemons and everything in between!
Elisabeth
Awww. Thanks, Lindsay. I’m so happy to BE back.
Sorry you’ve had a lot of lemons in your life lately; we don’t always need to make lemonade either. Sometimes…we just have wrinkled old lemons to deal with and it can really suck 🙁
Lizzy
I have never commented before, but I loved your writing at your old site and was so sad to see it disappear! So glad you are back and I’m excited to follow you here now.
I’m a mom of toddlers (17 months and newly 3) and my lemon is that my youngest picked up Covid at her daycare 2.5 weeks ago – and it leveled our entire family for 2 weeks. Fevers, coughs, snot, stomach issues, pink eye. My husband and I are still coughing, but the girls are finally back to normal at least. Lemonade from that is all the extra family time we got – which is hard to come by with two full-time working parents.
Elisabeth
Hi Lizzy! Welcome. Thanks for stopping by <3
Oh no - daycare bugs can be so intense (and seemingly non-stop); I remember back-to-back-to-back health issues for both kids when they started preschool. I'm glad your girls are back to feeling okay, but you and your husband must be exhausted! And gold stars for making some "lemonade" out of the situation. This seems like a particularly rough year (at least in North America) for colds/COVID/stomach bugs right after the return to school. It seems like everyone I talk to has kids who have picked up some form of bug. Hopefully this means everyone is healthy by Christmas!!!
Melissa
Welcome back Elisabeth. I was used to reading your posts and missed your updates. I can imagine that there would have been some angsty moments when it happened and trying to get a new blog up and running. I think not wanting to share so much about the kids as they got older was one of the things that contributed to my old blog petering out. Starting a new blog I was able to reset and transition away from that. I love your new design, and especially that you’ve got a lighthouse in your logo.
Elisabeth
Thanks, Melissa!
I love the logo too! Stay tuned for a shoutout tomorrow about how that logo was “born.”
sarah
This is a wonderful re-frame and a darling new space. xoxo
Elisabeth
Thanks, Sarah. I’ve missed having an online venue and thanks for sticking around and supporting me over the last few weeks when I was in blogging limbo <3
Diane
Oh what a wonderful wonderful thing it is to see your words back!
I’m sorry it was such an awful stressful thing, on top of awful stressful things. But even if the words disappeared, nothing could have take away your shining kindness and how you’ve sprinkled that to people through your blog and theirs!
I LOVE the lighthouse logo!
Elisabeth
Thanks, Diane. It’s so nice to be back <3 And what kind words. Thank you - truly. It means so much to know that I was "missed" and I felt so loved throughout the process of getting back online.
Yes, the logo is great, eh?! Stay tuned tomorrow for more details.
coco
welcome back!!!!! you’ve been missed for sure.
I love the new site and name, very authentic of you.
please share what has been your experience in term of losing the content (why? and how?) and how you’ve changed the way you blog now (hosting, content wise). we will all benefit from your knowledge and wisdom of this “tragedy”.
Elisabeth
Thanks, Coco! I’m glad to be back and it does feel like “me.”
I’ll write up some more details about what when wrong and what I’m doing now – definitely NOT an expert.
Kat
This quote by Maggie Smith is so timely for me, much more that I am feeling up to putting into words right now. I am handling a… work situation, let’s say, that I totally didn’t ask for, and has a good chance to Not End Well.
But also a pretty good chance to become the ultimate lemonade made of quite unwelcome lemons that made me doubt some trees and some errr… tree farmers too.
Thank you. Mindset -changing quotes and articles have been finding me since this lemonade episode started in such timely ways and I am so grateful.
Elisabeth
I’m so sorry, Kat. Work stresses are…hard. I hope it ends well but, if not, I hope you feel peace about whatever happens and it manages to be a form of learning experience. But ugh. It’s hard when life gives us lemons we do. not. want.
Hope this weekend is a respite from the stresses and that it includes some (many!!) happy things.
Sophie
Yay so glad you’re back – sounds so stressful and hard lately but this new site is delightful 🙂
My husband has opened a new retail store, and while it’s exciting and I’m happy for him, my lemons have been facing solo parenting (a 2 and 6 yo) basically all weekend every weekend (and then I work full time Mon-Fri). Exhausting, lonely at times. My lemonade has been realising I get to choose what I do with kids with consulting anyone else, and appreciating the flexibility of this, as well as all the special time I get to spend with the kids while they are still so young. And knowing that we will work out new rhythms and other times that my husband and I can spend together.
Elisabeth
It has been a tough slog lately, but that was the impetus for my retreat…so that is definitely a huge glass of lemonade out of all these lemons.
Solo parenting is hard. I hear you and see you and can relate on so many levels. It’s exhausting and lonely. Sometimes boring or just mind-numbing. But I’m glad you’re discovering some lemonade in the midst of all the chaos and, I’m sure, overwhelm. Being a solo parent can streamline things, so I’m glad you’re leaning into that. Hope the new venture goes smoothly for your husband – exciting!!! (But also…I’ve been there, done that and it is tiring for both parties involved).
Hang in there, and thanks for stopping back <3 It's nice to be back...
Elinoora
Oh, I’m glad you’re back, I had been wondering what happened! Glad that Laura mentioned it on her blog too 😊
My lemon is that my son brought am airway infection home, which means I’ve been sick since Sunday evening (and it read birthday on Monday). But I had already arranged dinner for my birthday, and my parents came over on Wednesday to cook a second birthday dinner (mussels and proper Belgian fries, yay) and help with kids and laundry. Work has been very flexible, I managed to prepare everything I wanted to (teaching a presentation course starting next week yay). So, while very annoying, I hope some rest will clear up this sinusitis!
Elisabeth
Your birthday dinner sounds amazing!!!
I hope you’re feeling better soon. This seems to be a particularly horrible year for colds and other bugs. It seems like everyone at my kids school is currently sick. Eek. Hope your son is okay, as well.
I wonder what you chose for birthday dessert (please tell me there was dessert!!).
Elinoora
There was! My parents brought something called Geraardse mattentaartjes, and I have no idea how that even translates so I went to look for a link: https://nl.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mattentaart It doesn’t seem to be available in English, but hopefully Google translate van help? It’s a little bit like a baked covered cheesecake and it’s delicious. If you’re ever over again on this side of the pond we will have to take you on a tour 😊
(and my son is fine now, he went climbing yesterday, track and field today – he loves running too, and then a birthday party and seems to look forward to it all!)
Elisabeth
I love cheesecake, so I can safely assume I would love Geraardse mattentaartjes! They sound amazing.
Glad your son is feeling better!
Erica
I’m so glad you’re back! I was worried you had left the internet for good, and I missed your thoughtful musings.
I have no lemons of note, which is kind of my lemon (?). All of my problems are what would be called first world problems, except they’re, like, zeroth world problems, so I feel bad for even calling them problems.
For example, here is my lemonette of the day: Some sort of insane weather system has come to my area. It rained A LOT this morning so I tried to herd my kids to school on the bus instead of walking, but we missed the bus and all got very wet waiting for the next one despite having umbrellas because that’s how hard it was raining, and then school closed early on account of the ridiculous rain so all I really did today was walk around in the wet, give baths, do laundry, and (of course) make snacks, all while coughing because I the cold that was almost gone came back somewhere in the middle of all the wet.
I feel bad calling this a lemon (in the spirit of the second arrow, this is my second lemon) because, how is it even a problem? My apartment is not underwater. We have our own washing machine. My kids are currently warm, dry, and asleep. Everything that I planned to do this afternoon could be postponed to tonight or next week. Of course, this second lemon is exactly the same as the lemonade. I am so lucky that most of my problems are not real problems. Everyone is safe and warm. Tomorrow will be another day, even if it’s a rainy one. My kids had a ball jumping in puddles on the way home, and their smiles are worth another round of wet clothes.
Elisabeth
I’m so glad to BE back!!!
Honestly – that does sound like a very lemon-y day. Hard is hard and it’s not a competition (I’m preaching to myself here). I absolutely abhor getting wet, so your stint in the rain sounds miserable to me. YES perspective is important, but it’s also okay to feel our feelings (again, preaching to myself – not you! – here).
I’m glad you found some sources of lemonade – and yes, kids do seem to enjoy wild weather a lot more than parents. And I hope today had lots of sunshine; if not literal, than at least metaphorical <3
San
Change is hard, new starts are hard… but I love that you’re trying to look at the silver-linings, like actually get a new URL for your blog (so people can’t just find you by typing in your name ;)), getting a new host, a new layout with a logo that you wanted… yes, you could have done all that without being “forced to do it” like you were, but maybe this was just a little (unexpected and kinda rude) push to get it done.
As you can see, people are still here, people were looking for you and nobody has just walked away because of this – in the grand scheme of things – little hiccup. So excited for this new space!
Elisabeth
Yes to all of this! I knew people would “come back”…but I also think I subconsciously doubted it and so I grieved the loss of a community. But the opposite has happened. I felt so loved and missed and it does make it extra sweet to come back (though there are DEFINITELY kinks in the new site).
This time next year it will be a tiny blip on the radar though at the time it felt like A Very Big Deal! That said, it was the nudge I needed to get some things in order. So…silver linings abound.
Tobia | craftaliciousme
So good to see you up and running again.
If my bog would be deleted I would have no content. There is no back up in word files or such. So let’s hope it never happens. And I hope you will never experience such a thing again.
I love that you took the fresh start to switch and change a bit now that you had some more perspective and experience. I think I would not choose the name I had right now again either. I would like a name that is a bit more general – there is not much DIY or baking on the blog anymore.
As for the lemons… I am lucky enough that my lemons this summer are on the smaller site and if made for some sweet lemonade that I wasn’t much thinking about a day after. But I have had other years where I felt like drawing in lemonade. So I guess I am gearing up for the next round. It its always ups and downs.
Elisabeth
Yes – ups and downs is so true. And it’s nice to sit and savour the lemonade when we have it because some days it feels like all we get is a giant sack of lemons with no sugar.
Glad you’ve had a good summer. I know the last few years have been tough <3
Michelle
Yay, I’m glad you’re back too, Elisabeth! I’d only just found you, and your blog disappeared! I found your new blog here because Nicole linked to it in her most recent post. I’m looking forward to catching up!
Elisabeth
Thanks for sticking with me after such a short stint of reading before I disappeared!! Hopefully it’s only smooth blog sailing ahead…