Since we’re still emerging from the blur of another holiday season, I’m letting myself off easy and combining two and a half months of demerits and gold stars into a single blog post.
First up, demerits.
DEMERITS
- Exercise. Something had to slide in 2023, and for me that was exercise. I knew it was going to be hard to keep up with 2022’s pace (I walked a minimum of 1 km/day – but that generally morphed into much longer distances). Still, I’ve been too sedentary. There are a host of reasons for this: neighbourhood issues, burnout, and poor time management, but I’m giving myself a gentle demerit because I was mostly just doing my best. That said I know that I need more exercise for both mental and physical health in 2024 and I’m determined to get back into better routines. So far, so good and I’m giving myself a tiny gold star for 2024’s fitness already.
- Not drinking enough water. This is also a demerit that is quickly nudging into Gold Star territory. I received a giant leakproof Stanley for Christmas and am back to my former water-guzzling ways.
- WordPress. I have put off dealing with some blog admin for months. I find it boring and confusing, so I choose to ignore the necessary maintenance. Did I not learn from past experiences? Apparently not. DEMERIT.
- Taxes. I’m not technically behind on this, but I’m usually farther ahead. I am dreading tax season this year. We work with an accountant so the heaviest lifting is outsourced elsewhere, but between personal and corporate taxes it’s still a lot to coordinate and organize and I just don’t want to do it. Do you think the government will give me a pass on filing taxes in honour of my Year of Shmita?
- Photobook. Argggh. I am usually almost finished my previous years’ photobook by mid-January and I haven’t even started on 2023 yet. Like the tax situation, I am feeling a lot of inertia. Once I get going I know it will be fine and I’ll even enjoy the process (ditto for taxes – seriously), but it’s those first few hours of organizing and sorting and deciding that have me cowering in a corner. Sigh. Also I take approximately forever to do my photobooks, so I know it is a Big Project.
Gold Stars
- Turning down opportunities. I’ve said No to a lot of “good” things in the last few months and that is so important. Boundaries are hard to establish and even harder to maintain. For the most part, I’ve done a top-notch job.
- Christmas prep. This was such a great Christmas for our family. Everyone stayed healthy, we loved our gifts, and it felt relaxed and well-planned. I’m going to give myself a gold star for all the pre-Christmas work that goes into having things run so smoothly. I’ve done the same prep in previous years, but this year the stars aligned for us to stay healthy and I felt like I finally got to cash in on that prep.
- Watching Hallmark movies. This was so much fun over Christmas break. I feel like Hallmark movies take less mental energy than a normal movie (maybe because they are cookie cutter and ridiculous), but it was just the relaxation my weary mind needed; snuggling up under blankets while the kids sat close by cradling cups of hot cocoa = lovely.
- Reading my Bible regularly. I’ve tried different reading plans before but this time feels unique. I’m marching my way through the Old Testament and still enamoured with The Bible Recap.
- Stepping down from my project management role. This was a big decision but absolutely the right one.
- Vitamins. I am crushing it with my daily pills. This was a cyclical demerit for me, but I feel like I’ve cracked the case. I have my pills in a weekly container, take them all at once in the morning, and basically never forget. For a month or so I had a timer set for 1 pm to remind me just in case I had forgotten, but I ditched that a while ago. So many gold stars for this because it has been a long-term struggle.
- Accounting software + automatic bank transactions. We’ve been using corporate accounting software that encountered regular glitches with pulling in bank data. Eventually, I gave up and did things manually and got used to that habit. I’ve been uploading statements manually for YEARS which is such a nuisance. It also means I miss out on some auto-categorization perks that are available when banking information automatically posts. I put my big girl pants on and went through the process again and it works (for now at least) and (if it keep working!) it will save me HOURS. Why did I wait so long? Not sure, but I’m giving myself a gold star for trying again. [Update: would you believe that less than 24 hours later, this connection was down. *Screaming into the void*]
- Better quality time with the kids. I feel like I’ve been more patient and “present” lately (yesterday’s snow storm aside; I was not feeling that day off school). There are still lots of bumps in the road, but it feels like things are more in sync than they have been for a while. Not going to lie, having one fewer work role is really helping with this. I might get to the end of the day tired, but my brain doesn’t feel fried in the same way.
- Daily yoga. Go me. I have been flapping my gums about stretching more for years. Years. (So many years.) And finally I put my Warrior Pose where my mouth is; I’m enjoying the most recent 30-Day Yoga Challenge with Adriene.
Your turn. Any recent demerits or gold stars you’d like to share? Are you stepping down from anything in 2024, or assuming a new, exciting challenge or responsibility? Do you make annual photobooks? If so, when do you start? Do you struggle with daily water intake? What’s your favourite beverage?
Coree
I did two annoying things this week… I was on the wrong tax code but I had assumed it would require lengthy phone calls to rectify so I put it off for months. It took me 45 minutes, without having to call anyone and should be rectified in 15 days. And this morning, I went to the bank branch and reset my online banking, ordered a replacement card, and it took 10 minutes.
I’m about to release marks for my first-year students – after procrastinating all week…. we’ve had so many AI cases and I feel quite demoralised by the whole thing so I haven’t faced it. I’m sitting in a nice coffee shop and am going to do it now.
I really need to drink more water – I’m just out and about so much, so don’t drink as much when I’m travelling (train loos, ugh….) but when I’m home, there’s no excuse, beyond it’s cold!
Elisabeth
I feel this; so often I dread something and the stewing is 100x worse than the actual doing. In our defence, we don’t always realize it will be easy and sometimes those little tasks can end up being A LOT of work. So gold stars to you for doing them and it’s just a happy fact they weren’t as horrible as you imagined.
I am so curious about your experience with AI. I can’t imagine doing university with these capabilities in place now. What a different world from when I was doing my schooling.
I also struggle with water intake when I’m not going to be close to a bathroom. It’s a tricky balance!
Sarah
These are really good gold stars!!!
I am not finding time to read books or ebooks as much as I want to— must fix!!
Elisabeth
I can assure you that you’re reading 10x more than I am…but all the best to finding more time for reading. I know it feeds your soul; maybe I’ll hope for more snow? I feel like you mentioned listening the whole time you were out shovelling this week!?
Beckett @ Birchwood Pie
I see the exercise as more of a gold start than a demerit. The reason that I say that is my own journey from someone who “had” to run at least 5 times a week for at least 3 miles a pop but 6 miles was better…smh. It’s so wonderful to have moved exercise down on the priority list to where if I’m tired I just skip a workout and get more sleep. You did the best that you could with limited time and a lot going on, and as you’re moving to a different place you can ramp it up again if that’s right for you.
Sigh, adding TurboTax to my Costco shopping list for this weekend…
Elisabeth
Ah, taxes. I feel better knowing that it’s a “SIGH” for you, too.
And I really appreciate this reframing of exercise. In the past I would have pushed through and caused more injury (mental and physical). I’ll take your gold star on this with great delight <3
Nicole MacPherson
So many gold stars here, Elisabeth! So many! I’m so happy for all of this – your great Christmas, your taking care of yourself via yoga, vitamins, etc., all of it is just so great. After the stress and sadness of the past year, you definitely needed your year of shmita! And you have a great start to it. By the way, I just ordered photos – go me – and decided that 2024 is going to now be the year of photobooks, instead of printing off photos, buying albums, etc. I may need guidance from you!
Elisabeth
I will be your GO-TO for photobooks. I have been making them for about a decade and I love them, the whole family is giddy when a new one arrives, but I’m not going to lie – the way I do it takes A LONG time. There are auto features but they do NOT work for how I do things, so I’d guess I put about 40 hours (yes, forty!) into making each book. That is a work-week and it really is a big job for me every year.
Kyria @ Travel Spot
Ug your tax software/finance software seems like one of those things that are helpful but when it breaks it is a pain to fix, or at least it seems like it would be, so we put it off! When I do my money pie, I do it semi manually; I have a spreadsheet that does most of the work for me, but I still have to export my details from my bank and put them in the spreadsheet. I could use Mint or something but I kind of like having it do exactly what I want rather than just do what it wants to! So there are pros and cons.
You had a lot of gold stars though and I think it’s nice to see them all lined up like this! Sometimes when they happen, you forget to pat yourself on the back so it’s emotionally pleasing to put them all in a list!
Elisabeth
I love doing it manually for tracking our personal expenditures, but for corporate taxes, it’s a lot more complicated since things need to be categorized and accounted for in different ways. I cannot believe after my excitement that I’ve ALREADY had error messages about the connection. Sigh. Oh well, I tried and I’m hoping it’s a temporary issue because I was so excited.
Do I do too much back-patting, I wonder? Between ta-da’s and gold stars, in black and white it feels like too much ego at play…maybe? But I really need this self-celebration?!
Lisa's Yarns
I do make annual photobooks and I try to work on them throughout the year so things are fresher in my mind and it’s a less overwhelming project. But I really fell behind in the spring when the banking crisis hit. But I had some downtime yesterday and worked on July-Sept. So theoretically I could finish the last 3 months on another quiet day. It only took me 20-30 minutes to do those 3 months so I just need to find some downtime for that task.
Demerit is losing my patience with Taco. This stage of parenting challenges me more than any other has and he’s particularly moody. We have his 3y well child appt where I plan to ask them to test him for Celiac and I’m kind of oddly hoping he has it so there’s a solution for his moodiness? I know toddlers are moody but his moodiness is like NEXT LEVEL moodiness so I wonder if he isn’t feeling well and it presents as being moody. He is also very sweet and cuddly but oof he is a spicy little guy at times.
Gold star is giving the kids a wonderful Christmas! I can get overwhelmed by the excessive (IMO) amount of gifts they get but this year I just accepted that people will give what they want to give and we can weed out what we don’t want/what they don’t play with and donate it.
Elisabeth
Photobooks take me forever. I am so particular about how I do things and it is ALL manual. As you might be able to tell from the blog, we take A LOT of pictures. My photobooks are almost 300 pages long each year. Eeks. But I do mostly love the process, after I get started. And each book, once it’s done, feels a bit like a work of art?
All that to say, it’s worth it and it won’t be too bad. But also…I’m scared to start.
Toddlerhood is such a wild ride, but I think it’s very smart to get him tested as allergies can make a huge difference in personality and general well-being. Poor little guy and poor you. Hope you find answers and/or he zooms through this stage.
Yay for great Christmases <3
ccr in MA
You have some good gold stars!
My biggest demerit is impatience. I try really hard not to let my mother know when she’s driving me crazy, because even without all the “she’s 85, she’s had all these awful health problems, it’s been so rough for her,” there’s also that she let me move in with her (which is to her benefit now more than ever, but still) when I moved to Florida, and she shouldn’t have to tiptoe around my sad little “wishing I still lived alone” self in her own home. And even though she really does drive me crazy, I don’t think it shows to her–last night she mentioned how nice it was that we get along so well and I put up with all her talking back to the TV, etc., and I could not come up with a nice way to say “actually, it drives me crazy that you do that.” So I need to work on reframing the situation to where I don’t have to grind my teeth about it so much.
My gold star is keeping up with friends, whether that’s in person or virtually from a distance. It helps me and I enjoy it, and I do it even when I might not be feeling the excitement ahead of time. And then I have fun!
Elisabeth
Oh how I wish I had the right answer for how to move forward with this situation. You are in the middle of a very challenging arrangement that would test even the deepest of family bonds. I think the fact that she things you’re getting along so well is a testament to how you’ve handled the situation with grace. I do hope you get some relief from the onslaught of stimulation; it really wears on someone to have to grind their teeth and I hope some way presents itself to make it more relaxing for you. So gold star for all you do for supporting your mom and gold star for realizing that it’s taking a toll.
What a wonderful gold star about friendship; that investment pays dividends!
Michelle
I love all your gold stars, Elisabeth! I love that you award them for small but wonderful things like Hallmark movies! As for exercise, I think your body will let you know when it’s ready. Allowing it to rest is also worth a gold star!
I think I’ll start a gold star list for myself!
Elisabeth
I hope you create a huge gold star list and post it! <3
Jan Coates
I am loving your yoga recommendation. I like Adiene’s calming presence, and 30 minutes works for me. And Charlie likes Benji🙃
Elisabeth
Benji is SUCH a calming presence. He’s kinda the star of the show!
Katie
Gold star- I’ve been showering in the morning. I have terrible bedhead no matter what and the best I can do is a messy ponytail, but it’s sad. But for some reason I’ve not showered in the morning regularly for years. I can shower and dry my hair in about 15 minutes and I seriously spend all day feeling like I’ve been to a spa.
Demerit- food. Bleh. So much wasted food, takeout, no meal plans. Need to start small but I ca do better!
Elisabeth
I showered this morning and was like: why don’t I do this every day. I felt SO good. It’s hard to fit things in with getting the kids out the door to school and if we’re walking and it’s cold, I don’t love the fresh-showered feeling and then going outdoors. But it felt SOOOOO good. When I was in university I showered every single morning. It was just part of my wake-up routine.
All that to say, I feel this gold star HARD and applaud you for doing it. Sometimes little changes like that make the biggest difference.
Food is hard. And exhausting to manage. Baby steps!!! (Also, give yourself the biggest hug of grace since you have little ones and are expecting another!!!)
Suzanne
Woo! Look at those gold stars piling up! What a great way to start out a new year!
And I think you misfiled the taxes item???? I would give you a gold star for beginning to think about taxes in January. TAXES ARE THE WORST and you are already laying the groundwork. That is NOT a demerit.
Exercise is one of my biggest demerits from the latter half of 2023. It just… fell by the wayside. I am trying to get back into it and am making baby steps. Why is something that feels so good and so physically/mentally rewarding SO HARD to get back into?
Elisabeth
Ha – I just know it’s a hassle and I would feel better if some of the tax prep was behind me, but you’re right that it’s a “weak” demerit.
Exercise is hard for me because: a) I don’t like being uncomfortable b) I HATE sweating, and c) it takes time. Those are big reasons why I can avoid it even though basically every time I exercise it feels good. But those hurdles are real and so it takes a certain amount of willpower to overcome them.
Melissa
Wow! Look at all those gold stars!
My gold star would be my revamped QT this year, which is going well. Plus I’m being a bit more consistent with my pre- and post-run mobilty and strength work. Demerits for our tax, which has been on my list to do since we got home (although I have got the information I needed from my son).
Elisabeth
What is it about taxes. Well…I guess I know what it is – the money and the confusion. Also I think I struggle because you CAN’T submit taxes yet, so I still have to wait so prepping feels a bit premature, but then I feel rushed if I don’t prep.
Jenny
Yay! Your gold stars definitely outweigh your demerits. And in the true spirit of demerits (the whole point is to identify the problem so you can do better) you’ve already improved on two of them. I definitely think you should contact the government, explain your year of shmita and the tax situation, and see what they say (ha ha.)
Elisabeth
Sigh. If only taxes worked that way. A girl can dream…
NGS
Here’s the thing. It’s hard to do active things outside with the situation in your neighborhood. If I couldn’t take the dog out whenever I wanted, go for a run whenever I wanted, or do shoveling willy nilly (so. much. snow. in the last week), I wouldn’t be particularly active, either. I think you’re not giving yourself enough credit!
So, I have some Stanley questions. Basically, I want to know if it’s too heavy. I look at those things and sort of wonder if it would fit in the cupholder of my compact car and if it would be too heavy for me to carry around and/or drink out of it. I am perfectly content with my slim 20 ounce Zojirushi thermos, but I want to understand the Stanley hype better. I need details!
Elisabeth
You’re right. It is hard, it was hard, and I have no idea what things will look like in the coming months. So I needed to take a break for my mental health. I didn’t feel safe to just walk around and my movement were SO impacted daily. In every way! Just reading how you answered this comment so kindly made me want to cry, but also reminds me that, yikes: things were so hard. *Long exhale*
I do not find it too heavy. For years (YEARS) I have been using my Yeti Rambler for water. It was great, but I hated that it had a very thick base (wouldn’t fit in my cupholders), and that it wasn’t leakproof. The Stanley I asked for has a tapered bottom so it DOES fit in my cupholders (obviously I can’t answer about your specifically). I don’t carry it many places aside from out to the car/in, downstairs to my office. But I love it. I didn’t think I’d love the straw, but I do. I definitely drink more water this way. I don’t love the carrying handle because you have to remember to tuck it down when you’re not using it, but it makes carrying it VERY easy. Mostly I just love how cold it keeps my water. If I add ice, it will be there 24 hours later. I think the Stanley I have is 36 or 38 oz. That extra space means a lot to me since I felt like I was filling up my Yeti all. the. time.
So: it fits in my cupholders and I don’t find it overly heavy…but mileage will obviously vary.
Heather
I am so behind on photobooks, but like you I generally enjoy doing them. What website do you use? Shutterfly has been my go-to in the past. More water for me too! Trying to start the morning with my mug full for the day.
Elisabeth
I use Blurb! I used to use My Publisher before it was purchased by Shutterfly.
I really like that Blurb has a downloadable software so I can drag and drop my pictures into place without having to upload them first. So you create your book offline and then upload it all at once when you’re done. I’ve been really happy with Blurb overall and since they ship from within Canada I don’t have to pay duty like I did for My Publisher/Shutterfly.
Stephany
You have so many gold stars! And lots of big things that you can give yourself gold stars to like having a wonderful Christmas, QUITTING YOUR JOB, etc. I think you’re doing great!
My demerit is not getting enough sleep (a forever demerit) – I’m working on it! And a gold star for following my hunger cues. I’m not always the best at doing that (a holdover from my dieting days).
Elisabeth
Sleep is just…hard. So many factors go in to sleep hygiene and the experts make it seem like it’s “easy” to just change our ways. But we can’t always control when we can’t get to sleep, or a siren wakes us up and we can’t get to sleep etc.
Tobia | craftaliciousme
Yeah for so many gold stars.
I hate when there are software glitches that you can’t figure out but need to get going and then do something manual or create a work around and then keep pushing it away and further away. So great for trying again and I can hear your cream into the void. how annoying.
I will tune in though as I am screaming on my end of the world as my Lightroom software doesn’t work anymore. I wanted to switch plans and canceled it over the holidays to save a month of money and now … not working. I should have just paid the 10 backs and keep it going. Sigh.
Elisabeth
Oh no! How frustrating. I hope you manage to get it sorted?!
San
I used to be terrible at drinking water, but I have improved consistently over the last few years. It’s really a matter of habit (and not of whether I am thirsty or not LOL).
I think you have a great list of gold stars and the demerits. Well, there’s always something that has to give, am I right? I always feel when I work on one demerit, a previous “gold star” is in jeopardy of turning into a demerit. Often I feel like it has to do with my priorities and time management.
Elisabeth
Yup – to say yes to getting a gold star, I usually have to let something slide…
Anne
I honestly don’t know that I would rank any of those as demerits, more like… things that were lower down on the priority list for a time. You dealt with SO MUCH last year. Your mental health and survival were more important. I love that you focused more on the gold stars here, and that you recognize how far you have come in so many ways. Take care of yourself. Hugs. <3
Elisabeth
Thanks, friend. And you’re right…they just weren’t priorities and that is in itself a bit of a gold star, I suppose <3