Years ago, while visiting my sister in South Carolina, we came across a little book of “country sayings,” and we still laugh about it to this day.
The title? Butter My Butt and Call Me a Biscuit.
In case you landed here wondering what “butter my butt and call me a biscuit” means, it’s a funny, old-fashioned way of expressing surprise or astonishment—usually about something positive.
Basically: Well, I certainly did not see that coming!
Turns out there are a lot of expressions that sound delightfully unhinged if you didn’t grow up hearing or saying them. I’ve written before about how the English language can be completely bonkers, and this particular saying certainly supports my case.
While I most definitely did not grow up saying “butter my butt and call me a biscuit,” there are plenty of colloquial sayings that regularly cross my lips.
What Does “Butter My Butt and Call Me a Biscuit” Mean?
“Butter my butt and call me a biscuit” is generally associated with the American South and is used when something surprising or unbelievable happens.
The expression is ridiculous, but it does have a certain internal logic: you put butter on a biscuit. Therefore, should someone butter you, apparently you are now a biscuit.
No one is issuing literal instructions, thank goodness.
It belongs to a whole family of colourful country sayings that use absurd imagery to express surprise. I think we could use more delightfully ridiculous language in everyday conversation.
Funny Old-Fashioned Sayings I Actually Use
In no particular order:
- Heavens to Betsy. I don’t even know where this came from, but it feels satisfyingly dramatic. Why say “Oh!” when you could invoke the heavens and a mysterious woman named Betsy?
- It builds character. This one is mostly my dad. In his opinion, everything builds character. Bad weather? Character. Hard work? Character. Mild inconvenience? Definitely character. Last year, I told Belle that something “builds character,” and she looked me straight in the eyes and said, “I already have enough character.” Ha! That’s fair.
- That changes the water on the beans. Translation—because John, at least, had NEVER heard this before meeting me—that changes the situation entirely. I LOVE this saying.
- Potato scallop. Admittedly, this is less of a saying and more of a regional expression. It’s what I call scalloped potatoes or potato gratin, much to John’s dismay. I still suspect this may be specific to the Maritime region of Canada. He loves to point out that we do not say Potato Mash. Hmmm. Whatever. I will not be changing my ways. I think potato scallop sounds cozier. End of discussion.
In fact, “that changes the water on the beans” and Potato Scallop have both appeared in previous discussions about pronunciation, regional expressions, and other language quirks. Apparently, I have strong feelings about this topic.
- Wowzers. I didn’t even remember how often I say this until a reader pointed it out. Apparently, it has embedded itself firmly in my vocabulary.
Swear-Adjacent Sayings That Keep Things PG
Then there’s the category I think of as swear-adjacent. These sayings convey strong feelings without technically crossing any lines.
- Goodness gracious sakes almighty. A mouthful, but very effective when things are going sideways.
- Blast. This is my dad again. He doesn’t swear, but we all know exactly what he’s thinking when he says “Blast.” The delivery is everything, too. I can’t put it into words properly, but it never fails to leave us in stitches.
- Fiddlesticks. A classic that’s severely underused, in my opinion.
- Dagnabbit. This one’s mine. Equal parts frustration and restraint; I say it a lot at pickleball.
- Sugarplums. An excellent option when the beginning of a less polite word has already escaped your mouth and you need to make a quick pivot.
Why Family Sayings Stick Around
Half the fun of these expressions is the wording. The other half is the person (and the delivery) we associate with them.
“Blast” wouldn’t be nearly as funny without my dad’s particular intonation. “It builds character” is forever linked with his belief that virtually all unpleasant experiences are secretly good for us. And “that changes the water on the beans” feels completely ordinary to me, despite John’s insistence that no other human being talks that way.
These phrases become part of a family’s private language. Sometimes we don’t even realize how unusual they are until we use one in public and someone looks at us as though we’ve just asked them to butter our backside.
I love discovering quirky words and expressions. Whether it’s an old country saying or a wonderfully specific Scottish word like hurkle-durkle, language really is delightfully bonkers!
Okay, it’s your turn!
- Have you ever used “butter my butt and call me a biscuit” in an actual conversation?
- What are your go-to PG-13 sayings?
- Do you use any old-fashioned expressions instead of swearing?
- Are there sayings in your family that would require footnotes?
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My dad says “Blast!” too, and yes, the way it’s said makes all the difference. I love “Fiddlesticks”, I must remember that one!
We use “Blimey” and “Flipping Henry” or “Flipping heck” quite a lot.
And then there are some great Swiss expressions! In Switzerland, “Gopf” or “Gottfried Stutz” are really common. “Gopf” is like a short, punchy “damn”, and “Gottfried Stutz” is just a random male name, which somehow makes it extra funny.
I love saying Fiddlesticks.
Gottfried Stutz IS HILARIOUS! I love it!
My mom would say “Jingonetty” as an exclamation. I try to say, “Sugar” instead of its rude equivalent.
And. “Offer it up” after a rough/frustrating issue. (Catholics won’t need a footnote for that.)
“It builds character” reminds me of Calvin and Hobbes- that was the dad’s standard response.
I sometimes say sugar, too. As Birchie points out you can pivot from Shhhh to Sugar pretty easily.
I’ve never heard of Jingonetty!
I can assure you my dad did NOT read Calvin and Hobbes but maybe that’s one reason it’s my favourite comic strip. It felt very familiar 🙂
hahaha! My dad always says “It builds character” and I love the word Fiddlesticks. It does get underused.
Clearly SUCH A DAD saying.
My mom always said “what do you think this is, Grand Central Station?” Commenting on the chaos around the house and 6 kids coming and going.
My father always said “you’ll never get to the Waldorf acting like that.”
These both made me laugh! Especially the Waldorf one 😉
I couldn’t link on the link fast enough for that title. It was one of my favorite phrases when I was a young ‘un. My mom said “it builds character” A LOT.
My fav phrase on your list that I had never heard before: that changes the water in the beans!
My fav phrase that I heard you say fairly frequently that isn’t on the list: wowzers!
I’m joining mbmomm with the “sugar” save. I try not to swear unless it’s warranted, but as a human being every once in a while the sh sound starts in a place where it shouldn’t, and there’s usually enough time to switch it up to “shhhh…ugar”
Ohhhh. Birchie Mom is the wild horse here, being the first mom to whip out the “it builds character” card.
Wowzers. Ha. I DO say that a lot and I love that you picked up on it. I didn’t even think of that when I was writing down sayings.
Sometimes I say sugar, but more often it’s Sugarplums.
This is fun! My parents used to say “are you born in a barn?” when one of us would forget to close a door. They would say “you make a better door than you do a window” when someone was standing in front of, say, the television. My dad used to wake me up by yelling, “it’s daylight in the swamp!” which, for some reason, filled me with rage. I don’t think I’ve heard anyone besides them say any of those things, but they must have got them from somewhere!
I say “sugarplums” a lot instead of cursing. Or “hot ham sandwich” which I think I got from a blogger named Jonniker years ago. I miss Jonna’s blog.
Jack from Will & Grace had the BEST imprecations. The one I remember most fondly is “Haley Joel Osmond!” as an exclamation of shock.
YES to “you make a better door than a window”… that got said A LOT when I was growing up. To be fair, we had a 13” TV, so it didn’t take much to block it.
Somehow all I can focus on is how much I want to see young Suzanne rage.
Yes! I also prefer Sugarplums to Sugar!
Hot ham sandwich is hilarious. And you love ham sandwiches. It’s perfect!
Hee hee. I’ve heard of “butter my butt and call me a biscuit” but never heard someone use it in real life. Hopefully someday.
Guess what- you have one that’s new to me- that changes the water on the beans. I’ve NEVER heard that!!! I like it though.
“It builds character” makes me think of the dad from Calvin and Hobbes.
I’m trying to think of phrases my parents used growing up. The one that comes to mind is “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” My mom always said that. The other thing she used to say a lot- and this isn’t really a saying, but- as “M.Y.O.B.”- meaning “mind your own business.” Like if I was trying to tattle on my sister or something I would hear “M.Y.O.B!”
MYOB. Goodness, I would be saying this dozens of times a day if it entered my vocabulary. My kids are decidedly NOT good at MT (Their) OB.
My mom often says “Lord love a duck!” or ” Oh, for Pete’s sake! “. I often use “Nerds!” as my frustration word.
I have never heard that puts water on the beans but for some reason, it does make perfect sense while making no sense at all.
It builds character is such a classic Dad phrase.
** that changes the water on the beans
Lord love a duck. This is hilarious. I LOVE it!
I thinknit must be a Texas thing, but husband and family say “Good night!” as an exclamation. We also say “What in Tarnattion?!”
What is tarnation is not something I ever say, but I’ve heard it. I feel like maybe on Looney Tunes?? It’s hilarious!
I saw the title of your post and immediately thought… That does not sound like Elisabeth, that sounds like a waitress in an Alabama restaurant, lol. I love those old, country sayings. After reading The One In A Million Boy a couple of years ago, I had to share it with my sister. One of the characters, a salty old woman, repeatedly said, “Oh for crumb sakes!” Now my sister and I say it all the time 🙂
Ha! Yes, I have never said those words in a sentence, but every time I think of it, I laugh <3
Oh for crumb sakes. Love it!
Boogers and Brains!
This is a first for me!
I am a frequent user of fiddlesticks! Another common saying in the Midwest is ‘ufda’ which is a Norwegian phrase that means ‘oh boy’. Ope is also another midwestern word that is kind of unconsciously said, like when you bump into someone or something. There are some funny videos about our usage of that word.
Bless your heart is also common in the south but it is a lowkey burn/usually used on a condescending manner.
I have never heard of ufda!
Bless your heart is something I hear around here sometimes, but I feel like it’s usually genuinely meant. There are A LOT of people in the Maritimes who will call anyone/everyone honey and dear. I find it especially hilarious when a cashier who is clearly younger than I am will say: How are you today, dear? Hahaha.
I love colloquialisms! It’s always interesting to me how many differences there can be within a smaller region than expected too. For instance, my husband and I grew up in neighboring counties, but his family – on both sides – had been in the area for generations. Mine was newer (and mom is from Florida/all her family is still there), so maybe that made a difference too? But he/his family will use phrases I’ve never heard in my life!
I use fiddlesticks all the time… dangnabit is also a good one! I’ve also been known to say “fiddlefart” which makes my husband look at me like I’m crazy, LOL! “Good gravy” rose out of autocorrect’s helpful “correction” to my misspelling of “grief” one day, for reasons unknown.
Fiddlefart. My kids would go crazy over this.
I say “Jeez o petes” and my boss laughs at me. *shrug* I am who I am.
Another weird language thing I do is drop the “to be” in a lot of verbs. It needs cleaned (instead of “it needs to be cleaned”) or the dog needs walked (instead of “she needs to be walked”). It kind of drives my husband crazy, but I don’t even notice that I do it!
Jeez o petes! That’s a first for me.
Where I live, a lot of people will add “t” on to words. So they’ll say, she’s my cousin-t. Some people add in words (and sounds) and some people take them out! You’re being efficient!
Biscuits are cookies in England so that made me laugh!
I like saying blimey o’reilly. The dad said Heavens to Betsy on Stranger Things and my mum, who was watching with me, had never heard it before!
So many people have been raving about Stranger Things. It doesn’t really seem like a “me” show, but if they say Heavens to Betsy, I might have to try it.
Biscuits, chips… I find it confusing (and hilarious) to watch GBBO because so many things are different.
I’m not as big a fan of Stranger Things as some people but it’s pretty exciting! It also has some very funny scenes.
Maybe this can be a Europe show for John and I?
I’ve never heard of the water on beans one, or potato scallop. Oddly enough, when I was a kid, they were called Escalloped potatoes with an E. I just did a deep dive into that and it was the old way originating in French of escalope (thinly sliced).
My Dad always said ‘You’d make a better door than a window” when we were blocking the TV. I don’t think that’s a southern phrase, but it still cracks me up!
My parents said the door/window thing, too! Must have been a generational phrase???
LOL These make me laugh! I never heard “that changes the water on the beans,” but I love it. I have heard “Butter my butt and call me a biscuit,” but only on TV shows. I like the southern ladies in movies when they say, “well, bless your heart,” or “that’s nice, that’s real nice,” and you know they are thinking some absolutely catty thing behind their smiling eyes. My dad always said, “you make a better door that a window,” as well, but my mom took the prize for colourful sayings: “I’m not driving you all over hell’s half-acre,” said when we needed a ride somewhere; “scarce as hen’s teeth,” “slow as cold molasses,” “hot as Hades,” and this one, that may not be family-friendly, “useless as t*ts on a bull.” When I am tempted to swear around my grandkids, I’ll say “sugar beets” for some unknown reason. I find I swear so much more the older I get and I blame it on the movies and TV shows I watch, where once considered unspeakable and unprintable words only to be said under supreme duress are used like everyday language. I “swear like a sailor” now, but it’s NOT MY FAULT. Seriously, though, the old sayings were so much more creative and colourful than the four-letter words we hear ad nauseum today.
Yes! My family also would say slow as molasses (running up hill in January!). And the door but a window is CLEARLY a Dad saying because it’s cropping up a lot.
I’ve heard (but never uses) scarce as hen’s teeth. Your mom’s saying is so funny!!! My parents would often say hither and yon if they had to do a lot of driving for activities. I’ve been driving you hither and yon today!
I really appreciate the older phrases and agree they’re more creative and funny. Swearing is SO ubiquitous now. Maybe some of these old sayings will come back into fashion?
My dad always used to say to us You’re not as dumb as you look. Bah ha ha. Or of course if we blocked the TV, he’d say YOU MAKE A BETTER DOOR THAN A WINDOW. I never got what that meant, but I knew it meant I had to move.
coach says, Sugarplums ALL.THE.TIME instead of swearing. Honestly I’d prefer he cuss a blue streak. Sugarplums sends me over the edge.
I can avoid swearing, but I letting a few bad words slip at times . . . well, I find it relives my pent up frustrations or something. 😉
Yes, I do find swearing can really help release some inner tension!
This was fun to read! I laughed so hard at “Gottfried Stutz”. I’d never heard it before, but I want to start saying it now! I’d never heard the one about the water on the beans. I’ve always called them Scalloped Potatoes. I rather like Potato Scallop though – it sounds nicer somehow. I don’t have any creative words – just the standard shoot, darn, dang. I love Blast! I want to start using that word too!
I agree – Potato Scallop sounds so… wholesome??
Blast is HILARIOUS coming from my dad’s lips.
We just have all the usual Aussie sayings here, and I don’t bother with polite curse words anymore. My swearing has increased as the kids got older because I no longer feel the need to “set a good example”. The girls don’t swear, but E does, and G rarely swears.
I read the book Blubber by Judy Blume as a kid (which is great for many reasons) and the main character says that her parents told her they have no problem with her throwing curse words around at home, but she should remember that some people dislike it so she shouldn’t yell them on the bus. That made (and still makes) perfect sense to me; we as a society have decided some words are ‘bad’ (even if their meaning isn’t) but they aren’t innately so. I wasn’t allowed to use ‘bad’ language as a kid but my parents are indifferent now (and their fake swearing was pretty funny, the words sugar and fiddle-sticks were used a lot). I swear at home or with friends but not in public (although at a previous job I swore at the computer so much my colleague said my swear jar would probably pay for Christmas drinks!). Children here often shout ‘bad’ English swear words but they don’t know they’re taboo. I remember a girl at school telling me off for saying ‘damn’ and I had never been told that was any kind of swear word (and I still wouldn’t count it as one). I think intent is important, someone can use very hurtful words even if it’s ‘clean’ language.
I had a friend in high school who’s mom had issues with swearing and had a swear jar so they loved when she slipped up because they got cash 😉
My mom’s dad would apparently say he was “Fine as cat fur” when asked how he was doing.
Blast is my favorite from your list, especially imagining your dad saying it!
My dad’s favorite epithwt was an emphatic, “Hogwash!”
Ohhh. That’s an oldie but a goodie.
Doesn’t Blast fit my dad PERFECTLY??
Fine as cat fur. I’m going to try to work this into a conversation with you very soon – haha.
How fun are you? VERY
“That changes the water on the beans” is so foreign and funny to me, but I love it!
I say “Holy Mackerel” a lot, and “Good Lord.” Kiss my grits.
If someone is being overly sensitive, we say: Go touch grass. (like, get out of the house and be in nature!)
Also, SHIZA MINELLI! instead of curse words.
I am The South, so I often say: Bless your heart, which I think we all know what that means.
Or You’re So Pretty (when someone does something unintentionally goofy/silly/)
Or if someone is really wacky, we describe them as Being Touched In The Head.
I could go on and on…I have too many!
Suz, you are too kind <3
Kiss my grits - haha. That is definitely not a saying you hear in Nova Scotia. Most people wouldn't even know what grits are!
Shiza Minelli. Love it.
I hope you write a post all about southern sayings. I would be there for that!
my dad’s dad used to say “want in one hand and spit in the other and see which gets filled up first”
my grandma always said “let’s be off like two girls to a dance” and I love this one
I love your grandma <3
Former peds nurse here, requiring a dictionary of alternatives, even though I don’t have kids.
Mine include “Jeez, Louise”, “Jeez o Pete”, Fudgebunnies (you can imagine what that replaced), lots of “freaking” as in “you have GOT to be freaking kidding me”. “For crying out loud” and “Goodness gracious” are also favorites.
Dagnabit is a good one (I saw that above), as is “Sugarplums”, and (as Lisa noted), the very Midwestern “ope”. I didn’t think I said it, but… I say it. All. The. Time. 🙂
For crying out loud is definitely something I heard growing up!!!