Last week kicked my butt. Mostly in a good way – you know when you finish an epic workout and you’re proud of what you accomplished? But, also, you feel like you’ve been hit by a freight train and want to curl up in a ball to whimper and/or sleep for an entire week. (Just me?)
That was how I felt after a jam-packed stretch that included just a bit too much holiday cheer.
When I was typing this post I thought of a verse from the New Testament. Be angry and do not sin. It’s okay, good, and possible to feel our feelings and still keep things in perspective. I can be angry without lashing out and I can vent and “complain” while still recognizing the perspective of how good life is for me right now.
John was gone which always makes things more complicated and busy. Five of seven nights involved late evenings. If you have excess energy and enjoy people (I mean, I enjoy people, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes there ARE JUST TOO MANY PEOPLE AROUND), this wouldn’t be so bad, but I did not have excess energy and there were TOO MANY PEOPLE at TOO MANY THINGS and I was managing it all solo.
Plus, late evenings mean I’m getting home to a messy house that I mostly will straighten by myself, have kids to get up in the morning and shuttle to/from school, plus all the other life things. Oh, and I never sleep as well when John is away. Did I mention work, cooking, cleaning, and holiday prep?
These are whining recollections, not complaints, because I got to do very fun things, like:
- A cookie exchange.
- The holiday concert at school (though whoever thought it would be a good idea to schedule both the elementary school AND middle school concerts back-to-back on the same night so parents with kids in both levels needed to stay at the school from 5:15-9:15 pm made a very BAD decision.)
- A late-night Christmas concert at a local university chapel.
- The Christmas party finale for the kids’ church youth program.
- My annual viewing of White Christmas with Joy.
I also got to spend three hours with a new friend over coffee and fit in a visit to my Soup-and-Sandwich Oasis. I hosted my parents for two meals (including one for my father’s birthday), coordinated a haircut for L who was practically in tears over wanting shorter hair, three playdates for the kids (two at my house), and hosted a neighbourhood friend for three consecutive suppers. All very good things, just a lot of very good things.
Between work, normal house stuff – including a wind storm that blew shingles off the roof* and our basketball net over on our brand-new patio, dislodging a stone – and keeping the kids alive while running the show solo, I was absolutely…knackered by the time I got home from the final evening thing at 10:30 pm on Saturday.
*Shingles have blown off our roof exactly three times since we bought this house. All three times John has been away. Also, he has been home for exactly one Christmas concert since A started Primary. He rarely misses big things, but the holiday concert always coincides with his final work trip/Christmas party.
I was so tired yesterday morning that I did NOT rally the troops in time for church (I never skip church unless I’m sick because Sunday mornings are my favourite mornings of the week, but I just didn’t have a single excess ounce of energy in me). We were going to have to rush to get ready in time and then rush away after the first service because JOHN WAS COMING HOME. He was gone an entire Sunday-to-Sunday travel cycle this time, so we stayed home and the kids watched a Sunday School video, I read my Bible and sipped coffee, and then they covered the kitchen table about 2 feet deep with craft supplies and made decorations.
When we got home from the airport, I made lunch and then immediately took myself to my bedroom and proceeded to sleep soundly for over TWO hours. When I woke up I decided I was not going to post on Monday because I was so far behind on commenting on blogs, but then I thought: these posts are my brain dumps, so I’m just going to take some time to sit down and write a post and just…post it!
So, alas, there is no holiday theme. More of an I’m Tired Theme, which does not bode well for my Year of Shmita. Though I feel like this every year before Christmas.
On to the brain dump part of the post:
1| Engie’s breakdown of what she spends on personal care products (and what the “average” American woman spends – $877) was fascinating. I spend less than the average, but more than several of her readers, so I’m not quite as “inexpensive” as I thought. Loved this blog post; things like this fascinates me.
2| I need to exercise more. I have a Demerits and Gold Stars post in the works for next week (or early in the near year), and I know that the biggest demerit on my list will be lack of exercise. There is A LOT to this demerit.
- I have been eating intuitively for 1.5 years. My weight has stayed the same. But then I cut wayyyy back on exercise this fall, and now my clothes don’t fit right. The real pebble in the shoe is my beloved Columbia snow pants are snug. I love these pants. They are warm and perfect and always fit just right. NOW THEY DO NOT FIT JUST RIGHT and when I lean over to lace up my boots, I can’t breathe properly because the waistband cuts into my diaphragm. I could do nothing and suffer, do nothing but buy roomier clothes, but neither of those options appeal to me. I could knuckle down and be very careful about what I eat, but that option DEFINITELY doesn’t appeal to me. So the main thing left is to get back into exercising.
- Last year I walked every single day. The goal was at least 1 km, but this generally morphed into far more than 1 km. So in 2022 I walked/ran 1781.07 km. This year, I’m going to be about 1100. That’s almost 50 km LESS EACH MONTH.
- There are reasons for this. 2023 has been a really hard year personally. L’s illness dominated my life until the end of February. I had an endometrial ablation in February. Then eye surgery in May. Then some major challenges in my neighbourhood severely impacted my mental health AND my ability to move about freely. I think the last one is the biggest issue still weighing on me (pun intended). I used to walk or run by myself and I don’t anymore. If John is away I drive to/from school instead of walking. This is a huge shift in my daily life and one of the main sources of regular exercise.
- So…what to do? I think I need to get creative about what/how/when I exercise. I don’t have a fully formed plan, but that will come. I’ve been doing treadmill workouts using YouTube prompts (HIIT beginner runs which are doable but make me sweat); this morning I did a 10-3-30 (I can’t set my incline to 12, so 10 it is), and listened to a podcast.
- All that said, I don’t love exercise. There – my secret is out. I like to walk. Running is okay. But I don’t love it. I do it because I know it’s good for me, but I feel decidedly unmotivated.
3| Everyone we know is sick. We are not sick. The pessimist in me is assuming that, true to tradition, this means we will be sick over Christmas. Maybe not. But probably. Sigh.
I plan to be back tomorrow with another holiday-themed Top Five/Bottom Five post but we’ll see. Basketball was cancelled for tonight so we have an evening with NOTHING TO DO (other than eat and prep lunchboxes and do laundry and wrap some gifts, but that is basically nothing after last week).
P.S. You know who did get enough sleep? My freshly shorn son, who conked out about 5 minutes into our 8-10:30 pm concert (it was lovely – I will be listing this as a Happy Thing on Friday). There is something magical about being at a concert with an adorable, sleeping cherub resting on your lap.
Post done. Publish!
Your turn. Anyone else feel overwhelmed when they have too many evenings of consecutive activities? What’s your go-to form of exercise. Have you been sick lately (I know, from reading blogs, that the answer to this is YES for many readers)? Highlight and lowlight of your weekend?
Hader photo by Sylwia Bartyzel on Unsplash
Jenny
I think it’s almost impossible not to feel like that this time of year. It’s the irony of Christmas, we love it, and these are all things we WANT to do, but it just gets overwhelming. My week wasn’t as crazy as yours, but I definitely had extra things, and things at night always throw me off.
Maybe Engie has some words of wisdom about exercise. She is open about the fact that she doesn’t like it, so maybe she can share some tricks. I feel your dilemma- you don’t want to stress about your weight but on the other hand who wants to buy new pants???
I love L’s haircut. I hope you can relax a little more this week!
Elisabeth
Can I admit I’m glad I’m not the only one?
I think I’m secretly a 65-year-old woman who NEEDS HER EVENING ROUTINE and downtime!!!
SHU
At work with a sick kid hiding in my office -we had such a long health stretch, I cannot complain – but why do the winter holidays always involve germs? bah!
Elisabeth
It is almost comical how often someone in our family gets sick over major holidays OR right before (as in the night before) we leave on a vacation. I’d say our batting average is about 90% on this, which is pretty sad.
Hoping your sick kiddo turns a corner quickly and that we can manage to beat the odds and skip our family tradition of being sick over Christmas.
NGS
This week is insane with evening activities. Normally I will allow ONE thing a week beyond my normal work/walk the dog/exercise/dinner routine. This has historically been either a board meeting or a social engagement. This week there are THREE events (board meeting/end of year dinner, double date to see holiday lights with friends, winter solstice campfire). These are all GOOD things, things I want to do (er, well, not the board meeting itself, but after the board meeting, I have no volunteer responsibilities there!), but I am already exhausted just thinking about the change in my routine.
On the plus side, my work calendar is clear – don’t tell my boss, but I don’t have a single meeting scheduled. So during the day I’m really being chill.
Highlight of last week: Doing a date night with my husband even though we were both grumpy at the start of it. Lowlight: I splurged and had my eyebrows waxed on Tuesday when I was getting my regular haircut (did not include waxing in my personal care breakdown – demerit to me!) and the area above my left eyebrow burned. *sigh* The skin is too thin for me to wax now, I guess. Getting older means having shaggy brows.
Elisabeth
THREE THINGS. That is a lot, Engie. But I am elated this is your last volunteer responsibility at the community centre.
Ouch – that burn sounds painful. I’ve never had an eyebrow wax before but it sounds painful!!
Beckett @ Birchwood Pie
5 out of 7 nights of activities definitely means skipping church and a nap. The other week we had a Friday and a Saturday activity and it felt a bit much.
I keep hearing about 12-3-30 and am curious to try it. Hmmm…maybe tomorrow. I can’t imagine what that much of an incline with that slow of a speed feels like, so I need to find out.
This weekend ended with a severe attack of the Sunday Scaries. I’m not sure what spin I’m supposed to put on the final day of the week in life series with that, but it was not good.
Elisabeth
At an incline of 10 (the max my treadmill can go to – though I’ve read this doesn’t necessarily mean 10%, so there’s a chance it could be more of less than that), it was VERY doable. My heart rate stayed steady around 150, so it was amazing how intense it was and I was SWEATING and ready to be done, but mostly because I was bored not because it felt like “too much”…
I am so sorry your week ended on a tough note. I hope things are okay for you and your family now? <3
Lindsay
I honestly just said to a friend that I believe in my heart that we will be sick next week for school break because we are not sick yet (yet) (YET). I know I need to work on anticipatory dread, but I’m just not there yet – but, am also thinking of ways to exercise more in 2024… I am overwhelmed. And tired. SIGH. But, I loved reading about your nap and John’s return and your boy’s concert nap <3
Elisabeth
I guess naps were a theme in my Monday post.
I also struggle with anticipatory dread, but it happens so us so often that it’s rather hard to stay optimistic after so many years of last-minute illnesses RIGHT BEFORE/OVER CHRISTMAS. Oh well. This too shall pass…and I’m hoping against hope that we’ll emerge unscathed!
Melissa
Your first paragraph exactly captured how I’ve felt after a number of my personal training sessions at the gym this year, although I’m learning to tell the trainer before I hit that stage. It’s just not worth derailing the rest of my week. That being said, when it’s a full schedule of good things, many of which can’t be changed, the occasional over-extension is doable. Your list of all the things you did this week made me want to curl up in a ball whimpering. I’m glad you got a nap when John got home.
It’s terrible that you don’t feel safe in your neighbourhood. Grrrr! I’ll keep praying for some kind of resolution for you in this.
Elisabeth
Ha! I was basically in a ball whimpering. Thankfully feeling MUCH better this morning (despite a bad wind storm last night that impacted my sleep AND means that school is cancelled today because the school is without power). It’s okay though – we have power and a more relaxed start to the day isn’t a bad thing for me.
I really appreciate your prayers. I’m so glad there are others here who share my faith and bring requests forward on my behalf <3
Suzanne
“Anyone else feel overwhelmed when they have too many evenings of consecutive activities?” — UM HI, YES IT’S ME.
“What’s your go-to form of exercise?” — I feel almost evangelical about strength training. I LOVE IT. It makes me sweat, it makes my heart pound, I feel so strong and capable and I can feel it in my body for days afterward. I would do a strength training workout any day over cardio. (Also: I know that you are being extremely diplomatic in thinking about and talking about your exercise this past year. But I feel super defensive of my friend Elisabeth and what a horrifically difficult year she’s had. The fact that the ONE BALL she kinda sorta let slide is exercise seems not only justifiable but admirable. You are doing great. You will get back into a routine that feels good. You deserve grace and gold stars galore because you got through this year. xxoo)
“Have you been sick lately (I know, from reading blogs, that the answer to this is YES for many readers)?” — I have been fortunate enough to avoid being sick lately, but I do have the role of Staying Home With The Sick Child, so… As you know, there are benefits and disadvantages to that role. And we are so much luckier than so many.
Elisabeth
I figured a few people would start wildly waving their hands.
I just sent you an e-mail about the strength training. I need to know more.
And thank you for the grace, gold stars, and being a safe space for me to vent this year. It means more than you know <3
I hope you stay SO healthy over Christmas...I remember your Thanksgiving 🙁
Sara
We have been shockingly well since my almost 5 year old started school in August. Which is wonderful because we have 1 year old at home. But I can’t help but wonder when the tide will turn…
With bio parent visits and therapy appointments, I feel like our week nights are always full with something. Because of this, I have become a psychopath about protecting our weekends.
I am dreading flying solo with two children for Christmas from Colorado to Vermont. And. I’m trying to remember my parents won’t be around forever. Both and. Always both and.
Elisabeth
It’s almost easier to just get sick and get it over with – that said, maybe we’ll just buck all our tradition and actually stay fully healthy over Christmas. Is this even possible? Time will tell. It would be a Christmas miracle, for sure.
Haha – I have become a psychopath about protecting our weekends. This makes me laugh.
And how true on the “both, and.” It’s always that dichotomy.
Kyria @ Travel Spot
I think my middle name is “overwhelmed by too many evenings of consecutive activities.” I am with NGS; I usually have room for one added social engagement a week. The rest of the days already have things and I try to keep at least one day “free” but sometimes the gap day gets filled. This week I have Tue-Wed-Fri, plus a doctors visit on top of that (plus Sat-Sun-Mon of course)! I am sure it will be nice to relax into some down time in January!
Elisabeth
Maybe one way for me to get over my January blues is to realize there will be more down time in January. I think it’s the snow that gets me. Brrr. So cold and bleak. I’ll just have to leave my twinkle lights up extra long this year <3
Nicole MacPherson
Ah, it’s the festive limping to the finish line. This can be so exhausting!
Elisabeth
Limping is right. That’s EXACTLY how I feel!
Lisa's Yarns
Last week was rough for me, too. I had a ridiculous number of client calls and then back-to-back holiday gatherings. I had zero energy for the 2nd one so left pretty early and then tested positive for covid the next day. But who can decipher from the exhaustion of 38 client calls in 3 days or the exhaustion of 2 youngs or the exhaustion of covid?
Everyone else in the house is healthy-ish. Taco has a cough but he’s had it for awhile now so I think it’s just a winter cough that will linger. It doesn’t bother him at night so we are just dealing with it. We plan to have the boys all take covid tests on Saturday morning to figure out if we can celebrate Christmas as planned. I hope and pray they are healthy. Or the healthy people can maybe still go to the Christmas party and I’ll stay home with the person who tested positive for covid? We haven’t talked about a plan B yet because I just can’t even.
Elisabeth
Forget last week, you’ve had A ROUGH YEAR. Sigh. I am so tired for you, Lisa. Ugh, ugh, ugh.
I hope that everything works out perfectly and everyone is healthy and you can do your beloved Christmas Eve event. If not, I will scream into a giant black void on your behalf 🙁
Grateful Kae
I don’t like to see you calling your “lack” of exercise such a big demerit! I feel like that places even MORE burden and negativity on something that you already don’t like. Maybe you should try using the pc office/business term “opportunity for growth”. Haha. (I think that’s the term they use on our self-performance reviews- we have to write about our “strengths” and our “opportunities for growth”, which is very different from “weaknesses”. 😉
But seriously, I do like “opportunity for growth” better. I do generally like to exercise, but that said, I’ve been struggling some lately too! It hasn’t been fitting in very easily lately since Charlie arrived and my time is more dominated by him. I’d really prefer to hit the gym during my work day on a break so that it doesn’t impact my evenings with the kids, dinner, OR require super early mornings (E gets ready for school from 6:30-7 and leaves by 7, and then A from 7-7:30, so if I want to see them at all before school, I’d need to be home 6:30…and I do not want to go to the gym at 5:30 a.m.! Esp in winter.). This has tended to leave the evenings for exercise. And while I “like” to exercise, come on. I’m still human. 😉 Its cold, and dark, and I’m usually get tired by the evening time. I’ve really had to rally many days to get my butt back out the door….. So, I guess just a note of solidarity that it can still be hard EVEN for people who overall like exercise!!! I’ve been kind of annoyed and bummed about the whole situation lately, tbh, and can’t seem to nail down a consistent schedule that actually feels like it works right now.
I think starting with a form of exercise that you like best for now is key. Don’t aim to strength train off the bat if you don’t like it. Just get back into the exercise habit with walking or the treadmill HIIT. Worry about strength training a little down the road once you’ve established your habit again!
Elisabeth
Okay – love this reframing <3 And doing something that a) is relatively mindless/ b) I don't HATE doing is definitely the place to start. I've done 10-3-30 two days in a row and it's 100% doable and I work up a massive sweat and my heart rates gets up and stays steady (as it's supposed to).
Daria
Oh dear Elisabeth, that is a lot. A LOT! Some thoughts…
1. Solo parenting is hard enough and with Christmas around the corner even more so! Hopefully it eased up for you a little since John is back. Be sure to cut yourself a major piece of slack!
2. Exercise- saaaaaaaame struggles. I need someone to show me to how fall in love with exercise because I don’t like it. And I don’t do it. I love what Kae said above- will use it for myself 😉
3. We don’t really have a lot of evening activities. T had a holiday party at his work but he just went alone since I did our bedtime routine and then crawled into bed with my Kindle 😉 L’s concert is tomorrow morning and R’s is in the afternoon. I have half a day on Friday and that’s it! Our winter break starts! Can’t wait 🙂
Elisabeth
I am slowing unwinding from such a busy week!!! And today was the last day of school for the kids and I feel more than ready for the break!
ccr in MA
Just because they’re all fun things doesn’t mean they can’t be too much!
I hate exercise, everything I’ve ever tried. Well, I don’t 100% hate water aerobics, but I don’t like it, and it’s been logistically difficult. I guess my advice is the same as others’, find something you will do, even just mostly, without rage-hating it. Is that what anyone else has said? Well. I am not the person to ask for advice, clearly!
Elisabeth
Yup. Not rage-hating is a GREAT place to start.
I like exercise, I just don’t love it. And mostly I like walking the best but it takes so much time. Sigh. I want something that takes 5 minutes – max – a day. Does that make me lazy? I also hate sweating and know that’s part of it. But I also just find it super boring?!
I’m glad you’re on my wavelength.
Stephany
I’m really glad you admitted that you hate to exercise because I do, too, and I feel like people are amazed that I don’t love it as much as they do. It’s always, “You just haven’t found what you love!” But I’ve tried almost EVERYTHING and nope, it’s just not the way I want to spend my time EVER. But I need to get back to a consistent workout routine in 2024 because I know it’s good for my mental health + heart. If you ever find the secret to working out consistently, let me knowwww.
Elisabeth
You’ll be the first to know if I figure it out – haha.
No, I don’t love anything. I tolerate certain things and can even enjoy them, but never “crave” it. Sigh.
Anne
Elisabeth, I’m coming in here late to comment, I’m so sorry.
I was going to skip commenting (again, late), but there were two things that hit me hard about this post…
* Like others, I wish you were not so hard on yourself about not being able to exercise as much this year. I read your list of things-that-happened, and honestly think that it was a victory for you to just show up each day and bring light into the world as you do every day. So many would not have been able to do so. Your resilience, resolve, and love for your family, friends, and life in general come through in every post, and I hope you realize how valuable it is to have your voice in the world.
* I did not realize how hideously awful this neighborhood situation has become for you, and I am so, so sorry. You have made your home what you want it to be and now others have made it impossible for you to live as you have every right to live. I hope that 2024 brings some resolution to this issue (what, I do not know) so that you can have the life you deserve.
Sending thoughts your way in this in-between-week. <3
Elisabeth
Awww. Thanks for such kind and encouraging words <3
San
I feel like the week before Christmas is busy for everyone, but with your flying solo with two kids and ALL THE ACTIVITIES, I can totally relate that it must have been overwhelming. A lot of good, but too much.
Don’t feel bad that you don’t love exercise. I think it’s ok not to love it (even if other people do). Honestly, I don’t love it every single day either, but what really makes a difference is a routine of just “doing it”… whatever “it” is. Consistency > motivation. And it doesn’t have to be a lot of high-intensity cardio either. As we age, mobility and strength training become so much more important. Also recognize the value of short (10 minute) sessions here and there. If done consistently, they really pay off.
Elisabeth
Yes. Such great points – consistency brings habit and it takes a lot less willpower then. And short and sweet is better than long and never!