This Valentine’s Day: Finding Love On the Charcuterie Board

Cheese can be messy and hard. Cheese can be complicated and temperamental.

And cheese – in its purest form – is sheer decadence.

Ditto love.

Valentine’s Day sometimes feels contrived and sappy, not to mention hypercommercialized. But guess what? Life is short. We won’t always have the ones we love with us – so if you feel like being sappy today, I say go for it. Sprinkle the rose petals, light the candles, play the song, fill the room with balloons.

Thankfully it doesn’t take fancy chocolates, a Hallmark card, or a dozen red roses to say I love you. We can use words and simple actions to demonstrate our love. If you don’t have a significant other or parents or children or siblings, find someone around you who needs love and encouragement and be the bright spot in their day.

Fair warning: today I will be sappy.

My love,

From the moment you walked into my life – or, more accurately, I walked into yours, striding toward you as part of the Unofficial Welcoming Committee – you have been my heart’s delight. We’ve gone through a lot over the years and there is no one else I’d want by my side.

Besides your faith and your family (and watching an epic movie on a top-tier Dolby Atmos surround-sound home theatre system with a great subwoofer – did I get any of that right?), little in this world brings you quite as much joy as savouring a piece of fine cheese.

I think our love is a lot like great cheese. (Stick with me here.)

Fifteen years ago when we said I do, our love story started; it was all so fresh and exciting and new. Our joint life – our wheel of cheese, if you will – was formed and complete. We were also pretty clueless. There is no foolproof recipe for a great marriage, no user manual for how to mix and match priorities and personalities. Sometimes the milk can sour and curdle and separate. It takes love, care, patience, and lots of trial and error to get things right.

Kids and jobs and all sorts of circumstances have created the environment in which we’ve had to grow and adapt, each impacting the flavour profile of our marriage. We haven’t always had a say over the temperature or the shelf where we’ve been stored for maturation. A few times circumstances have knocked us to the floor. But years have passed and with time has come a deeper, richer, more robust love. We’re that same wheel of cheese that was lovingly formed all those years ago, but more delicious.

New cheese is consumed in a hurry; grazed – often without deep intention and thought – while zooming back and forth through life. Don’t forget the laundry, the car repair, the birthday party. Relationships can feel like they’re only accessible for nibbles in the margins of life. Aged cheese is valued and treasured. It has all the same ingredients, but time has worked its wonders. Fine cheese is appreciated, savoured – each bite a new adventure.

Fromagiers are patient. Alchemy can’t be rushed; their craft takes years to develop and a lifetime to hone. Love – like cheese – almost always gets better with age.

John, forever and always you will be my favourite hunk on the charcuterie board.

I love you for all the big things: your protection and tenderness; your companionship and loyalty; for being my number one cheerleader. The sheer joy of having another human love me above all else. What a thrill. What a privilege.

I love you for all the “little” things. How you warm up Magic Bags without being asked; how you never – ever – complain when I roll over in the night and thaw my ice-cold feet with your warm ones. How you laugh at my quirks with delight, not derision. Our many inside jokes* and funny phrases that form a unique vocabulary that feels both comfortable and comforting.

In short – Mercy*, we both know I’m not good at brevity – if we started as two Kraft singles, we’re now a solid block of Dubliner. Here’s to our distinctive taste…with a natural hint of sweetness.

Always and forever yours,

Elisabeth

I know Valentine’s Day can be especially hard if you’re struggling with loss or grief or longing. If this is a hard day for you, I hope there are bright points that glimmer through and make you smile. If you have those you love nearby, be grateful for their presence and give them a big ol’ hug <3

Header photo by Aliona Gumeniuk on Unsplash

P.S. Ironically, I am NOT a big cheese fan – Dubliner is the exception. Which got me to thinking. In marriage, it’s very important there is only one object of romantic affection, so this fits the narrative perfectly. I could have Dubliner every day for the rest of my life (and no other cheese) and be content.

P.P.S. Nobody asked to see old pictures of the kids but I went down a long and winding RABBIT trail last night while I was writing this post. And, to be fair, these are two of the best things that we’ve created together.

How were they ever so little?

Okay. I’ll stop.