I am over school lunchboxes.
In fact, I am here:
I don’t even have the energy to discuss what I’ve been packing and how, slowly, both kids have mostly lost all will to eat those packed lunches – not to mention I’ve lost all will to pack (or oversee them packing) lunches.
- We could order school lunches, but they’re: expensive, annoying to order, the options are very limited (and low on nutritional value), and it would still require packing snacks.
- I am trying to “spend out” per my final goal of 2023, but the kids are tired of raw fruit and veggies, sandwiches, most forms of crackers, applesauce cups, greek yogurt and every other thing they listed as a favourite food option back in the fall; they no longer like the warm options I send (fair enough – soup that is tepid in a Thermos by the time you get around to eating it is not overly appealing).
I don’t think there is necessarily a clear solution to this issue, but it helps to vent and complain about this particular pebble. Why must we all eat every single day? SO FRUSTRATING.
Also, this parent speaks truth. I have seen all but the sock.
Your turn. What were your school lunches like as a kid; did you eat in the cafeteria or bring your own? I’m open to any and all suggestions of how to make this process less onerous! I’m currently focused on giving them fruits and veggies at home and not fretting about sending an incredibly “balanced” meal to school. Right now they are loving ham and cheese sandwiches so they are getting those daily (which will backfire any day now…but it’s good while it lasted). What’s the weirdest thing that has come home in your child’s lunchbox?
Grateful Kae
Oh man, we’re totally failing here too right now. But in our case, we’ve just defaulted to letting the boys buy lunch everyday. Which is getting EXPENSIVE. Both of their schools’ lunches are really pricey. But… I don’t want to pack their lunches. And apparently they don’t either. Ha. So, no one packs a lunch and they just buy it. Originally I told them they could buy lunch like 2x/week and pack themselves lunches the rest of the time. Well, that lasted about a week and now here we are. On the plus side, it is very easy. And the school lunches at their schools are actually really good. But we are spending a LOT and I’m trying to decide if it’s a battle worth fighting or not…
Elisabeth
I feel like only a few things a week on the menu my kids would actually eat, and then they have snack times and while I could buy things, it’s a lot of extra money AND they’re mostly all processed. So packed lunches it is for now.
School lunches would be so much easier, though! And if the boys like and it and the food is good, kinda sounds like a great arrangement to me!!
coco
We are resorting to leftovers from dinner or quick things like fried rice, egg salad sandwich, dumplings, chicken nuggets that take 5 min to take in the morning. My girls are not picky eater, they eat whatever is served most of the days, so I just pack what comes to mind. They used to order lunch once a week, but they are expensive and takes up their 20 min lunch time so we just pack and they eat whatever they can and finish the rest when they come back. For swimming days, I make sure Sofia gets a big snack before practice, toast with peanut butter, homemade muffins or cake, and bars/cookies on the ride home.
Elisabeth
I feel like my kids get more picky as the year progresses. I think they just get…tired of bagged lunches. Fair enough. I wish they had easy access to microwaves. They CAN microwave things, but it’s hard and I just find Thermoses never keep things quite hot enough until lunch time.
mbmom11
I have been packing the same lunch for my boys for years now. Cracker type thing , juice box, gogurt , treat. They eat it all, nothing wasted, and it’s quick to assemble. They eat well enough at home so I don’t worry about it. I’m trying to rotate in a cup of yogurt occasionally, for a little more dairy/protein, but the boys don’t care. I used to do peanut butter crackers, but then the crackers were modified so they didn’t taste the same. And now one school is nut-free, so it’s not an option amyway.
My husband fusses about it not being very healthy, but the kids make up for it at home.
I would turn it over to the kids. If they are complaining about what you provide, it’s time for them to take ownership. They are old enough to handle this. You might provide the food and some loose rules about what to bring, and then remove yourself from the equation. If they don’t pack enough , they will be a little hungry that day. Lesson learned.
(However, if child has health/medical reason why they need a certain type of lunch, I wouldn’t be as abrupt. But many kids pack their own lunch from kindergarten on. Don’t fall into the trap of them complaining so you go crazy to appease them. )
Elisabeth
This was such a helpful comment!
To be fair, my kids WANT to pack their own lunches, I just find it so much easier to take the lead. But then I do think they would complain less (they don’t actually complain, they just don’t necessarily eat what is sent and come home saying they’re hungry at which point I make them eat the leftover food but it’s soggy etc).
I am getting to the place you describe: focussed on the food they eat at home and sending more “snacky” things that are easy to graze on, don’t go soggy etc. I’ll mull over how to put more ownership of the situation on them (again, it’s me that finds it easier to just do the lunchboxes myself…but maybe I should change that).
Thanks again! Great “food for thought.”
sarah
YEP.
I also have to pack lunches for Dororthy and Coop to eat at evening activities–so that’s TWO A DAY. Ack.
Coop packed his own yesterday, so that was awesome. And it was a don’t ask/don’t tell situation– no clue what’s in the box.
Elisabeth
TWO PACKED LUNCHES IN A DAY. I would lose my mind, Sarah.
Don’t ask/don’t tell. Haha. My kids love to take cereal to school and I haven’t let that happen in a while. I guess, to be honest, some of the reason I don’t let my kids pack their boxes is because I’d be ashamed of teachers seeing them eating things like Fruit Loops for lunch. Which is what they would want to take. Maybe I need to just let that go?
Beckett @ Birchwood Pie
If they’re walking out the door with ham and cheese sandwiches and actually eating them, then you’re way ahead of the game. At one time the boys had the chore of making sunbutter and jelly sandwiches plus juice boxes and gogurt for lunch, but once they got to high school the cafeteria options were really good and my husband caved. If I had been calling the shots I would have let them have school lunches for treats once in a while and had them do something to “earn” any extra lunches over that…but hey since I wasn’t calling the shots this is just me being an armchair quarterback.
Elisabeth
I’ll join you in an armchair?! Sounds comfy.
I think I need to:
a) put more responsibility on the kids
b) care less about the nutritional value of what goes
c) simplify
d) focus more on the food they eat at home which is where the majority of their consumption happens
Jan Coates
For a lot of years when Liam and Shannon were in school, peanut butter was allowed, so they ate A LOT of peanut butter roll-ups (on wholewheat tortillas) – a snack I still like in the car when I think of it. Apples and cheese? As a teenager (and now) I loved egg salad sandwiches, so I ate a lot of those in high school. So much of what’s available for snacks is processed, full of bad oils, salt, etc. But of course, that’s all the tasty stuff. Maybe you can find some things they can help you make in advance (ie. a whole week’s worth of it). Good luck!
Elisabeth
My kids LOVE peanut butter and I so wish that was an option (but 100% respect nut-free policies).
Both kids refuse to eat whole apples, but the slices go brown over the day. Really the only fruit they’ll BOTH eat is raspberries which are delicious but expensive. I try to have a few days of raspberries in the weeks and at least offer an applesauce cup. If it comes home un-eaten, unlike slices it can just go back on the shelf.
I went through a phase with egg salad too. They like it, but I feel like their lunchboxes get tossed around and it gets all gross? Ham and cheese and butter and jam seem to be the only reliably safe sandwiches that stay mostly intact. But I think I should start sending cubes of cheese, a few slices of ham, and some mini Naans. In non-assembled form it’s easier for them to eat quickly – another issue is how short their lunch break is!
Lindsay
When Lil Momma went back to school after winter break, she took on putting together her lunches 4x a week as part of her chores; monthly Wednesday half-days are an exception because it’s breakfast for lunch and she gets to buy on Fridays. She knows she has to include a protein source, a fruit, and a veggie. I’d love to say this has been a success story, but I guess the real win is that it isn’t a legit catastrophe? She complains a lot about it; she’s bored of sandwiches and wraps; she wants to make herself fun “Pinterest” snack boxes with shapes but it’s too fiddly… if anything, I think it has made her be able to emphasize with a post like this (or her father and my loathing of the task), so maybe it is a win overall? Obviously, you can see this post resonated. WHY DO WE HAVE TO EAT AND ALL THE TIME AND IT’S SO MUCH THINKING?!?!?!
Elisabeth
Life would be so much easier if we, say, ate once a week?! Or even just once a day?! The money! The time! The mess!
But, alas, eat we must.
I’m glad to know that you’ve gone this route and LM appreciates how hard it is to be creative (or even not creative but get enough stuff into the lunchbox) day after day!
Jenny
I’m not too happy about the school lunch situation! But first: because we’re vegan, we’ve never been able to get the school lunches. This was my choice so I’m not complaining, but I’ve packed a lunch every single school day, for both kids. My son was fairly easygoing about it- the biggest challenge there was that I couldn’t really pack anything too “healthy”, since no one else was eating stuff like that. But at least he ate sandwiches! My daughter does not like sandwiches of any kind (seriously???) I’ve been packing something in a thermos for her (either leftovers from the night before, or pasta or rice) but the newest thing is, she complains that she’s the “only” one eating a full lunch. She’ll give examples of other girls who don’t eat lunch- or have a very small snack- and say “and she’s really skinny.” I think I just have to accept that I can’t control what she eats (or doesn’t eat) at school, and just make sure she has a breakfast and healthy dinner. I wish I had words of wisdom other than “I’ve given up” but unfortunately I don’t.
Elisabeth
Yes, I can’t imagine too many schools being ideal for vegan eating options 🙁
Eeks. People (especially girls, I’m assuming) skipping meals at school is so worrying. Argh. Body image strikes again. Sigh. Thankfully, both my kids WANT to eat, I think at this point in the year they’re just kinda tired of eating at school. But they eat lots at home, so I know that the sheer fact they have enough food to eat is such a blessing and not something that every child at their school has to fall back on.
Jenny in WV
I don’t have kids but I do pack my own lunch for work most days. I used to read a few blogs of bento box ideas for kids, so that has influenced my lunch packing through the years. Homemade “lunchables” might be an option to try. EZ Lunchboxes has a container with 4 little compartments, perfect for meat, cheese, crackers, and a veggie. Leftover pizza has always been a favorite. As a child I was willing to eat it cold, but now I use the workplace microwave to reheat it.
I’ve never liked lunch meat so as a child I only at peanut butter sandwiches. Now I sometimes make veggie sandwiches or wraps (guac, cheese, whatever veggies are around) or chicken salad (homemade so no weird ingredients) on a croissant.
School lunches varied as a child from good to stereotypical slop. I monthly menu was sent home so I knew which days I wanted to buy a hot lunch. Some of my favorites were spaghetti, pizza every Friday (except during Lent, when they served fish sandwiches), and grilled cheese and tomato soup. The more stereotypical meals were meat and gravy over mashed potatoes and burgers that had the slimy bits on them. I remember taco salad being served, but I did not eat tacos as a kid.
Bonus extra crazy sound bit: I sewed cloth napkins to use with my packed punches. I bought a pack of flannel “fat quarters” and cut each one in half, doubled the fabric over and sew around the edges. I just wash them each week with the dishtowels. I like to imagine if I had kids I would make them coordinated napkins for all the holidays.
Elisabeth
I sent a homemade lunchable for one child today, actually! Ham, cheese, and mini Naan.
One of my kids LOVES leftover pizza, the other hates it. I still send it for them both – it’s okay to not enjoy every single meal – but it just makes it less pleasant to pack something knowing that one kid is not a fan. Sigh.
Oh my goodness – that napkin suggestion is so sweet. I don’t think my kids would use them/care, but I think the idea is TREMENDOUS and I would love that if I had to pack a lunch for myself!
NGS
Honestly, I rarely ate lunch at school. There wasn’t food in the house to pack and I wasn’t eligible for free lunch, only reduced lunch and my parents rarely had the money for that. I feel like one of those people saying “I walked uphill both ways in the snow,” but your job is to provide the food and their job is to eat it. If you don’t eat it, then you will be hungry until the next meal/snack. I literally have eaten the same thing for lunch for years now and so I don’t understand the need for variety. (This is one of the main reasons I don’t have children. I have NO PATIENCE for this type of BS. I packed you this food, now eat it. I would definitely be a Mean Mom for real.)
So, solidarity? Give them food, let them eat it or not, and then forget about it. But that’s super easy for me to say!
Elisabeth
I’m sorry Engie. No child (or adult) should have to experience hunger. There is more than enough food to go around and I wish I had a perfect solution for how we could make sure everyone could afford food and have the time needed to prepare it.
You are so right; the fact my kids can complain says all you need to know about the level of privilege we have in our family. To be honest, the kids don’t really complain, they just don’t always eat what I send and then come home saying they’re hungry).
I mostly do what you suggest, but got some great tips today to help smooth a few of the “rough” edges.
KW
House rule is that kids need to take a protein, a veggie, a fruit, and bonus. Bonus can be chips/pretzels/cookie/etc. But lots of options within this framework!
Ideas- pancakes, waffle, oatmeal with mix-ins, pork chop sandwich or just pork chop strips (I heat and send in wrapped tin foil), banana muffins, zucchini muffins, freeze dried fruit, veggies with hummus, breakfast burrito, strips of bacon, bacon or sausage, egg and cheese on a bagel, cream cheese bagel, beef jerky, ham& cheese roll, ham& salami roll, yogurt covered raisins, pouches.
Elisabeth
That has long been my framework, too. They’re just getting burned out on the options? Summer break will be a great reset as I feel like it’s really fine from Sept – February and then we all get a bit antsy.
Great suggestions! Thanks. One child in particular LOVES bagels and cream cheese, though I couldn’t send it toasted and I don’t think they have access to a toaster? But I bet she’d love that as a “sandwich”.
M
My son bought lunch — it was expensive but it was so worth it! The aggravation of trying to put together lunches and seeing them returned at the end of the day (all that waste!) was gone — poof! I didn’t mind one meal of the day where he ate less than ideal nutrition-wise…he can eat before and after school things I deem more appropriate.
It would be so nice if kids loved what we packed for them (or what they packed for themselves). But that scenario only lasted a few years for us….so I took the easy way/the path of least resistance. LOL
Elisabeth
I might start having them buy 1-2 days/week. Definitely going to consider it! Sometimes the path of least resistance is the BEST PATH!
Melissa
I’m so glad I don’t have to think about this anymore. Although mine all started packing their own lunches in late primary. I’d echo what others have said, if they have healthy food before and after then not to worry too much. My son has ADHD so once he stopped being in lower primary where they had a set time to sit and eat before they were allowed out to play he hardly ever wanted to take much time to eat. Eventually he’d be heading off to school with the lunch he packed of two slices of plain bread, he couldn’t even be bothered to butter them. At that time I started buying ham and cheese rolls and keeping them individually wrapped in the freezer for him to grab. Not a good lunch but it became one of those things that I decided I wasn’t going to care more about than he did. Which can be a helpful policy. Obviously this is not the strategy if there are health or eating disorder issues involvod.
Elisabeth
Thankfully we don’t have allergies or disordered eating. The many layers of privilege we have are evident here! Mostly just tired of the chore but I really need to reframe this…
We have ready access to food.
My kids are healthy, with no ongoing medical issues that impact when/how they consume food.
They eat lots of what is sent.
What blessings…
Sara
Ugh. I find food to be such an inconvenience. I talk regularly with the people in my life about how I wish there was a pill we could take and get all our nutrients so we didn’t have to eat. My foodie friends were appalled.
My junior year of high school, my dad asked me how my lunch was (he packed it) and I said something like: not awesome. And thus I earned myself the task of making my own lunch from that moment forward.
I have a kiddo with lots of oral sensory needs so I have to find a way to pack lots of crunchy and chewy foods. It’s all so much work.
Elisabeth
I LOVE eating and love the taste, but it’s all the other work that is overwhelming to me. I wish I could take a pill that would convert junk/convenience food into fruits and veggies. Like I could buy a bag of chips, but take a pill and it would be like I just ate a bag of broccoli instead?
J
I get it…it’s definitely easier to do it yourself. BUT, if you can let it go and have them make their own lunches, you will learn that it is REALLY easier for them to do it. Ask them for some ideas of things they want, and if they can’t come up with anything, put some things in the fridge and see what happens.
My daughter’s elementary school didn’t have a cafeteria, so she was SO excited to have school lunch when she got to middle school. I gave her allowance that was enough for 2 lunches a week plus some more. She could decide to buy lunch or bring it and keep the money. I will say that I think I made lunch for her until she was 10 or 11, I should have started her earlier.
Elisabeth
You’re right. I really need to offload this job – I have tried a few times and keep coming back to (in our circumstances at least) it seems to be easier for me to do it, but I have been carving out some subtasks they do. But maybe I need to rip the Bandaid?
Diane
I find lunch packing tedious, and my two younger kids eat the same thing pretty much every day, so it’s not even that much mental energy every morning. They get a 1/2 sandwich, half an apple (cut up), four or five slices of cucumber (or carrots or peppers or a half avocado if we’re out of cucumber), and a sweet or salty treat (either granola bar or chips, or muffin or cookie or fruit cup or what not… I let them pick it at the grocery store). Sometimes I’ll throw in a string cheese.
The oldest kid buys lunch every day – she said that the thing she was most excited about about middle school was they have a deep fryer there. I don’t love it, but her choice, I guess, and she eats pretty well at home anyway. It’s certainly different from when I grew up – I always packed a lunch. School lunch was not an option for me K-8 (aside from monthly pizza day) and when I got to high school, I was really intimidated by the school cafeteria and never wanted to set foot in it. I remember I packed my own lunch for a while but when I got to jr and sr year in high school, my mother made my sandwiches because she said I should be spending my time studying. I remember she would always put avocado in the sandwiches, and having just moved to California from Canada, it seemed a very indulgent thing to have avocado every day.
Could you split lunch duties with the kids? Like you make the main and hand them bins of all the other stuff and let them choose that themselves? And do they come home complaining they were hungry at school? I feel like being hungry at school and being hungry afterschool are two different things.
Elisabeth
Yeah – I think you’re hitting the nail on the head. I don’t WANT to give it all up because of how our life and routines work right now, but having them help would be great.
I think they’re hungry when they come home, and maybe some of it is just a conditioned response, too? Since most of their friends have a snack right after school. Snacking just wasn’t a think when I was in school and now I feel like they have two snack breaks in their school day?
Lisa's Yarns
School lunches are free in Minnesota so Paul eats lunch at school. We are happy with what we see on the menu so he seems to eat pretty well all things considered? He can also have free breakfast while he’s at the before care program. Luckily food is included in the tuition at Taco’s daycare, too, so again – no packing of lunch required. Thank. God. For non-school days when Paul goes to the childcare program at school, we have to pack a lunch, and then we pack it for his summer program at school. But he eats the same thing EVERY DAY. Last year he had a peanut butter sandwich, apple sauce pouch, and graham cracker + a granola bar for his snack (there were no peanut allergies among his peers, otherwise pb sandwich would not have been sent). For non-school day days he’s been getting a carbon copy of the summer lunch but he wants cheese and meat slices instead of the pb sandwich. I don’t do anything cute or special with his lunches because I just don’t have the time or energy! But omg if I had to pack a lunch every school day I would hate it!!!
I ate school lunch as a kid. Nearly everyone did. I didn’t like much of what was served but my parents were NOT going to pack lunch for me as they had enough going on w/ 5 kids and all!
Elisabeth
Oh I wish lunches were free here! I feel like it’s inevitable? We have a free breakfast program, I think? And I know they have fridges with free yogurts and granola bars.
I love that he’s content with the same meal each day and am going to admit that I REALLY WISH PB WAS AN OPTION. I fully support a nut ban with all the allergies, but it would make lunchboxes easier if I could send energy bites made with PB, a nut trailmix, and a PB + Jelly sandwich.
Tobia | craftaliciousme
Well, that is something I don’t have to worry about. Ha. I do not envy you. I bet it is so stressful and inappreciated work.
Honestly I can not remember really my mom packing my lunch.
When I was in second grade my mom was sick or on an appointment and I had to wrap it up myself. I believe I have always made my own sandwich and then my mom wrapped it in paper. Well I couldn’t do it so I took bandaids to make the paper stay in places. I only remember so precisely because a teacher asked me what that was and I told her had made it myself and she was concerned and believe had a talk with my mom. Other than that incident I don’t remember how lunch was. I only know I had it. And I hated taking bananas. They always ended up a disaster in my bag,
Elisabeth
Bananas become SUCH a mess in lunch bags. I never send them anymore (I think you can buy special plastic containers shaped exactly like bananas). Only one of my kids will eat bananas anyway, so I never bothered investing in them!
San
We never really had school lunches. We were usually home by lunch time, so all I took was a “small breakfast/snack” to school (which was a sandwich or fruit usually). School is much longer (even in Germany) these days and lunch programs have become more common, but I don’t envy parents who have to deal with the lunch box.