It’s mid-morning on Saturday and I’m not sure how to put a finger on my current emotional state. Sitting at our dining room table this morning—sipping my delicious French vanilla creamer-sweetened coffee, which feels like a treat after many months of using plain oat milk—I admitted to John that I felt sad.
When one of the kids started crying yesterday and said, “I thought I’d only feel excited to be back, but I miss Europe,” I told them this was a perfectly normal response, and that it was all going to be okay.
I’m trying to give myself the same little pep talk.
For nearly four months there was a unique sense of adventure every single time we woke up and now… there will be decidedly less adventure and more day-to-day reality.
We’re back to set routines with external expectations. Our church picnic is tomorrow (I need to make a picnic lunch; there will be so many people!), the kids have camp and babysitting gigs, we have appointments with mechanics and doctors, our whole pantry needs to be restocked, and there is a lot of time to fill as a parent (John heads back to Europe in a little over a week on a work trip).
It feels tremendously odd to plunk right back into “everyday” life at home.
On our drive back from the airport, I told Joy my current state draws some parallels to people who train hard for an epic sporting event. For so long, all your efforts are directed at one thing. It’s naturally all-consuming. But then, suddenly, it’s over. That’s where I am right now.
It’s going to take a while to get into a fresh equilibrium.
Also. I’m tired! The night before we left Cardiff, I got TWO hours of sleep. Then we travelled home and I got about FIVE hours of sleep the next night.
So, after I write this post, I’m taking a nap. I think catching up on sleep is probably the best antidote to my feelings. Though I also ate some Honey BBQ SunChips earlier today and that helped, too.
Every single time I write a stream-of-consciousness post, I end up feeling better, so I figured I might as well try that approach again.
So far today I’ve:
- finished emptying out my toiletry bag from the trip
- vacuumed
- had my favourite peanut butter (Kraft brand FOREVER) and banana on my favourite toast (Country Harvest Oat and Honey)
- emptied various garbage cans
- watched Indy catwalk his bike
- mixed up a borax + icing sugar solution to try to get the resident ant population in our house under control
- started reading Theo of Golden (SO GOOD SO FAR)
- sent John to take Indy and a friend to their tennis camp + get groceries
- checked the mail and dealt with various items
- picked Indy up from tennis
Belle will need to get picked up mid-evening from her leadership camp. On his way home from dropping her off last night, John picked up takeout sushi from our favourite place and it was every bit as delicious as we remembered it to be.
I’m currently looking out the window as two teenage boys detail my vehicle. We left in the middle of the Canadian winter and the mats (thankfully rubber, covering the carpet) are caked in salt stains. They’ll move on to our second vehicle eventually. I’m happy to help some high schoolers pad their bank accounts.
The snow tires are off both vehicles. The safety inspection—due for the car—is also complete.
Souvenir gifts have mostly been handed out to the respective people.
I’ve done two loads of laundry.
The thought of cooking anything sounds horrific. Why do we need to eat three times a day? John has volunteered to BBQ for supper, bless his soul.
I’m slowly moving things back into place. Before we left, we tried to clear items out of the way to give the family moving in lots of space. I emptied most of my drawers, my entire side of the closet, the vanity in the bathrooms. This offered a blank slate, but I need to slowly move things back into place, which feels… a bit daunting.
I also need to get back into an exercise routine, but I don’t want to. In Europe we walked SO much every day. I miss strolling 500 m to a grocery store and picking up a bag of food to last for a day or two. We’re back to driving to get groceries and while it’s all I’ve known most of my life, I miss the European convenience of walking everywhere. I didn’t have to think about getting my daily steps in; it just happened.
Okay: other things on my mind!
BLOG/WRITING
If you’d told me this time last year I’d be accepted into the Mediavine program, I would have been flummoxed. I’m not even sure I’d heard of Mediavine at that point!
While ads are a nuisance for readers, they are currently the only way I get paid for writing in this space. I love writing. Also, I write a lot and try to put my best effort into it and it takes a tremendous amount of time, so I’m happy to find a way to get a little bit of financial reimbursement.
But I feel like next steps are a bit nebulous.
A high-earning influencer suggested I check out ShopMy, but I don’t really share a lot of products. I looked into it and you have to have a social media platform, so that’s out.
I do basically nothing in terms of SEO. Some people do a great job getting organic search traffic, and my travel posts could probably be golden for this… but it seems like such a buzzkill. I love to write and engage with readers, but anything else feels forced.
The irony is that SEO-heavy travel blogs were a huge part of how I planned for our trip. So I want to make my own travel posts easier to find (keywords, summaries), but the thought of writing in that sort of way holds zero appeal. Basically, I want to write fun posts and hand them over to someone else to do the boring stuff. But the idea of doing that also sounds onerous.
What to do?
For now, I think I’m just going to keep chugging along on the current path because I love it. The blog still feels like my online home base: the place where I write, process, share, and connect. And making a bit of money on the side from ads is an okay place to start. (If you happen to be reading this and have the inside scoop on low-lift SEO, I’m all ears).
Which brings me to…
THE “KITCHEN TABLE” VERSION
Someone recently told me: If your blog is the polished front porch, Patreon is the kitchen table.
I love that framing. The blog is where I share the broader story; Patreon is where I share behind-the-scenes details—the things that don’t always fit neatly into a public post but still feel worth writing down.
If you want to know why I cried on my birthday and how a chance encounter with a peacock managed to redeem a rough few days… Patreon offers the “kitchen-table” version. I wrote about the experience in broad strokes on the blog earlier today in Day #2 on the Danish Island of Møn (+ Visiting Møns Klint), but for various reasons only shared the full story behind a paywall.
A few recent Patreon posts:
- It Wasn’t the Birthday I Wanted… But We Have a New Story to Tell (Paywalled)
- I’m Learning to Be Okay with Paying the Tourist Tax (FREE)
- Celebrating What I Have (Paywalled)
- My Plans for Curating a Summer of Restoration (Paywalled)
- “I’ve Already Met Three New People Today!” (Paywalled)
- Eureka! Coffee Is a Good Investment (For Me) (FREE)
I love blogging, but I know myself well enough to realize I need to declare a short bloggy break. Back next week for Happy Things Friday? Probably. Maybe. We’ll see how many naps happen first.
In the meantime, if you have any questions you’d like answered about our trip, the comment section on this post is the place to go. (Alternatively, feel free to e-mail questions directly to optimisticmusings {at} gmail {dot} com.)
Your turn.
- Give me your best strategies for re-entry!
- Do you get the post-trip/big-event blues?
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I really enjoyed traveling vicariously with you! Thanks for making the effort to document I all. You might consider monetizing your travel planning-experience for other people to utilize.
What a grand adventure!
Great advice and I’m so glad you enjoyed following along 🙂
Rest up, Elisabeth. Everything else can wait 🙂
Wise words. I’ve really tried to lean into that <3
I think your emotions are totally normal…it’s hard to get back to “real life” after such an adventure! It’s a good idea to take a blogging break, take naps, and adjust slowly.
I really enjoy your Patreon. It’s nice to have a small, private group with no lurking randos skulking about! Ha! Ha!
I don’t understand SEO or anything about professional blogging. Your ads haven’t been too invasive, which is nice, and I think it’s wonderful that you can make a little pocket change from them. I even got a great deal from Bath & Body Works from one of your ads!
I do love the privacy of Patreon, too <3
I'm so glad to get feedback that they aren't too much of a nuisance. And I do love a coupon 🙂
Uff, re-entry is hard. So hard. I blogged about it before multiple times how hard it is to going from “there” to “here”… I realize in my case it’s a different kind of re-entry, and it kinda goes both ways for me, but my only advice is to jump back into your routine and give yourself grace (and naps!). It’s ok to wallow and be sad for a little while and to feel a little out of place even. I call it the emotional jetlag – or in your case also a bit of reverse culture shock. It’s absolutely normal.
Grace and naps seems like the best way forward 🙂
Emotional jetlag is a perfect summation of the experience. I know you “get it” and that really helps to know I’m not alone and other people understand the feelings. Yes to the culture shock, too. Not that anything too different, but it feels so odd to be back in our own space and settling back into “old” routines again.
Consider paying Belle to add SEO stuff after you write? And maybe also consider a meal rotation where she and/or Indy prepare dinner a few times a week? It will be productive parenting and mostly hands off for you. My parents settled for simple things like pasta mixed with canned tuna and canned cream of mushroom soup in exchange for not having to be the ones who prepared dinner! (I only had to boil and drain the pasta, open cans, drain the tuna, mix!) I eventually learned to cook from scratch (married an Indian so mostly that) because my parents had taught me basics of reading recipes and measuring, etc. Your kids are smart—they can do it! You can still cook when you want or need to, but either way, you’re parenting well. You could even delegate parts of the meal to them and still do some of it yourself. Etc!
I NEED to get the kids doing more in the kitchen. Belle is away most of the summer at camp, but I need to get Indy to make something each week. He loves to scramble eggs and can make a good egg wrap, so I might just lean into that.
Love all this advice. It really has inspired me to get the kids more involved in the kitchen.
The sudden change in momentum is really disorienting. Good that you’re giving yourself the same peptalk – it’s true, it will pass and it’s ok to have all the feelings!
Maybe using Laura’s strategy of one big adventure, one little adventure a week might help to re-adjust and still feel a little bit of that excitement?
Love the idea of a big and little adventure!
Things are getting done and no major things have fallen through the cracks. I feel like I’m just kind of bumping along without much of a set plan, but that’s also something I got better at in Europe so maybe I’ve been practicing for such a time as this?? Haha.
Theo of Golden. 10/10. Started slow for me, but the end was totally worth the trip.
Loved the ending, but the middle part was slow for a bit. I 1000% see this getting made into a movie at some point; I wonder if the book has been optioned for that yet?
I think you’re doing all of the right things for reentry: you’ve got a list of what needs to be done, you’re in the process of doing it, and you’re taking a break. There’s always a bit of sadness at the end of every trip, and a bit of rest and grace is the cure.
John’s BBQ tho! Dinner at your house is going to be epic tonight.
I have no experience in making money from blogging, but I think you’re on the right track in saying no to things that don’t feel right to you. Sure you could make money from ShopMy, SEO, and socials, but since that’s not your style, there’s a good chance that it would not be enjoyable for you, and if you’re going to do things that you don’t enjoy, you might as well go back to work. I think that if you continue on the path of being true to yourself that the ad revenue/Patreon will grow and that you’ll find other money making opportunities that are a better fit along the way.
Enjoy bloggy break, and we’ll be here when you come back.
Rest and grace is the cure. I think I need to write that in Sharpie somewhere.
“if you’re going to do things that you don’t enjoy, you might as well go back to work.”
Birchie… how do you always find the right thing to say?? This is exactly what I needed to read.
Enjoy your break!
I have yet to make a penny on my blog, you’re leagues ahead of me!
Thanks. The break was well timed for various reasons. Hoping to be back on Friday <3
I am behind on reading your posts from Europe, so this will give me a chance to catch up. I often find re-entry a little sad after a much anticipated trip, and find myself spending a lot of time thinking, ‘this time last week (month, whatever), I was in xxx doing yyy’ and while I really enjoy reliving the memories that way, I’m also sad it’s over. I can only imagine how it must feel after so long away. Your trip seemed ENDLESS when you talked about it beforehand, like, ‘almost 4 months? 4 MONTHS? That is going to be EPIC and SO MUCH TIME’ but then in a flash, it’s over, you’re home (in a new season) and trying to reintegrate is tough. We can be happy to be home and sad to not be there at the same time, it makes total sense.
Regarding monetizing your blog, I am clueless about such things. I’ve never wanted my blog to feel like work, and trying to earn a buck off of it feels that way to me, so not interested. But I am delighted that you have found another income stream, and am glad that you have the additional income from Patreon! I’m also glad that you have some free posts there, I always enjoy reading but I don’t have any Patreon subscriptions.
I have definitely been thinking “this time last week”… though soon, this time last week won’t be back in Europe. Sob.
It did seem endless and it also feels like it was over in a flash.
“We can be happy to be home and sad to not be there at the same time, it makes total sense.” Yes to this!!!
A comparable for me is the anticipation of 6 months in Ontario with as much grandbaby time as we can get. And then the lows of knowing we’ll return to NS for 6 months after Thanksgiving. But there’s always pickleball and planning for future visits/travel. Happy napping!
Hooray for pickleball. I’m anxious to get back on the courts.
Hope the time with those grandbabies is delightful and you’re enjoying every second <3
OH YES. I always feel a letdown after a big event. You had months of planning and anticipation for this, then a VERY long adventure. I would be astonished if you didn’t feel sad and disoriented now. It’s like the post-Christmas letdown times ten. It will pass, with time- I wish there were some shortcut you could take, but I don’t know of one. Hopefully the blogging break will help. Luckily, I’m behind on your Patreon posts, so I can read those while you’re gone.
Enjoy your break, and do not cook!!! This is what takeout is for.
“Enjoy your break, and do not cook!!! This is what takeout is for.” I laughed and laughed at this, Jenny. LOVE IT!
I also want the shortcut but realize you get it perfectly. We are such kindred spirits with the “letdown” after big events. I feel so seen!
Elisabeth, what an adventure you had! Your feelings are entirely valid and normal!
What I do is catch up on sleep first. Then the second day I unpack everything and put it in its place. It helps compartmentalize. I walk around the house and the neighborhood to kind of “remind” myself what I love about where I live. I put away the suitcases till next time. I light a candle and say thanks for the trip. I clean.
Rest, nap, relax, you are home!
We’re home!
I’ve fit in one nap so far, but tomorrow is Canada Day and I need to make a list of things to get done… and it needs to be one line item and it needs to say NAP. My sleep has been a bit discombobulated with all the jetlag and adjusting back to schedules here. Another nap is definitely in my future.
Thanks for such kind, helpful words. I know you’re very familiar with this sort of thing and it’s so helpful to get these reminders to just relax. It will all get sorted eventually.
I think your marathon analogy is spot on. After spending four months looking forward to something new every single day, it must feel so strange to suddenly switch back to ordinary routines.
And I can imagine it just takes a bit of time for everything to settle again, especially after such an intense stretch of travel and change.
Enjoy the break, and I hope the naps and coffees do their job! 😀
The coffee has been great and I’m hoping for my second nap since getting back tomorrow. I can think of no better way to celebrate Canada Day than a nap 🙂
Re-entry is hard and perhaps one of hardest parts is that there’s no shortcuts. You just have to get accustomed to the new old place again! Presumably coming back when your school year routine is absent too isn’t t helping as you don’t have that to help guide your days.
Monetization: One of the things I love about your blog is that it feels like chatting with a friend. I’ve read blogs that went down the heavy monetization path and they went from enjoyable to “oh this is just yet another sales post, blergh” and I stopped reading them. If those more intense money making options don’t appeal to you don’t do them – in my opinion it’s much better to keep it a hobby you enjoy and get a bit of cash from than a job you start to like less but get more money from. Personally the ads don’t bother me and they provided the hilarious moment of getting Estonian ads when you were in Estonia (or at least when you posted about Estonia)!
Such a helpful reminder that there really aren’t any shortcuts. This is a hard adjustment and we’ll get there… with time.
I’m so relieved the ads aren’t too much of a bother. And love that you got some Estonian ads. Ha. That’s funny!
I am sorry that re-entry is so complicated for your family. Your neighborhood situation is so very difficult. It’s hard to not have your home feel like a safe, comforting sanctuary. I’ve had hard re-entries. The first was coming back from studying abroad. I had such a great experience in Australia and it was a let down to come back. Plus I lived at my parent’s lake home for the summer which sounds dreamy, but I had a horrible waitressing job with a chef/owner that was a total lunatic. I felt better once I went back to campus for my senior year of college. But I think I changed/grew a lot while studying abroad and felt like a bit of a misfit that final year of college. My other challenging re-entry was coming back from my 30th birthday trip to Paris. I rented an apartment in the Marais and had the time of my life. I loved walking everywhere. I came back to a life where I was living in a condo in the suburbs of Minneapolis where I had to drive to get ANYWHERE. Literally nothing was a walkable distance. But that pushed me to decide to rent out my condo and rent a condo in downtown Minneapolis. I got back from that trip in mid-February and moved into my awesome downtown condo by July 1st. So sometimes those re-entry feelings can be really instructive and will push you to make a life change!
I’m realizing, as I read your comment, that I have changed in certain ways while away and yet I’m trying to slot right back into a life as though I haven’t changed. Obviously it’s subtle and everything will get back to an equilibrium, but for now it’s a bit disregulating.
I LOVE the reframe that re-entry feelings can be instructive. Yes. I’m hoping for that as we move forward with next steps on some changes.
Sounds somewhat akin to postpartum depression—so much planning, prep, anticipation, The Event, then tired, tired, tired and adjusting to life and the reality that It Happened and Is History.
You’ve mentioned ads before, but perhaps it is my use of DuckDuckGo that prevents them from being visible. Your reaction to the idea of a social media platform or chasing SEO resonates completely with me. I too love to write, love getting to know my readers (well, I already know most of them but it is a thrill when someone tells me they are one of my tens of readers), and would hate to change the tone and effort in order to make money at it. It does take many hours, but they are such enjoyable hours.
Sleep well, ease back into life. You and your family never cease to amaze and impress me!
Yes, yes, yes!!! It is a form of postpartum depression indeed. Post adventure blues???
“You and your family never cease to amaze and impress me!” Awww. This is so sweet, Jana.
“if you’re going to do things that you don’t enjoy, you might as well go back to work.” – wise words!
So helpful, right??!!
This makes complete sense and you’re doing the right things! Settling back in will take time. My only experience is with trips to California, which are admittedly different and not as long, but even so I find it just concretely takes a number of weeks after coming home before life feels normal again. Going from constant novelty and a hectic, but also liberating kind of survival mode to routine life (and summer routine which has its own intensity) could definitely cause some emotional whiplash! Wishing you much grace navigating this newest challenge!
Joy, ask Elisabeth about your next trip to California. I have an idea for you! (And it is okay if she gives you my email address.)
It was good to hear about it taking weeks. Of course I want to feel back to normal immediately which is not at all realistic (or probably emotionally healthy). I will aim to be back to some semblance of normal by the time school starts back up? We are heading into summer after all which is its own gong show.
Thanks for helping me navigate re-entry. You’ve certainly eased my into home in some lovely ways (food in the fridge! chatting in person! kitten therapy!!)
Oh my – you’ve already done SO much since you got home Elisabeth, and you’re tired. So normal to feel down after a big trip, and also don’t feel too much pressure on yourself to get everything “back to normal” straight away. You’re doing great! I LOVE your Patreon. Good idea to take a break from blogging for a little bit. And its a good time as its summer and other places often take breaks at that time too.
Thanks, friend <3
Getting back to normal life after just a week or so of travel is difficult… I can only imagine what it feels like to go an entire FOUR MONTHS out of your normal life and then to be dropped back in. Not to mention getting your house back to the way you want it. <3 I think a little blogging break could be super helpful (I've been thinking about taking one myself, mostly because I feel very uninspired these days). And I hope you take the time to slow down, take some naps, and enjoy some quiet!
I’ve taken two naps this week and they have been GOLDEN. Plus, yesterday, I spent over an hour in the hammock reading a book. Yes, please!
Breaks are necessary in all aspects of our lives.
I understand the doldrums of being back home, the day-to-day. The audacity that you have to meal plan- yuck, the worst! I’m not kidding about that!
Traveling as you guys did was a complete adventure; something new each day. But that’s not sustainable, is it? IS IT? 🤣 Asking for a friend, lol.
Welcome home!!
I wish I loved meal planning (and prepping). Alas, I do not. So I muddle my way through and no one has starved yet 🙂