I’ve been putting off writing this post. Not because I don’t have anything more to say on the topic of rest and Shmita, but because I have so many ideas bouncing around in my brain and I’m not quite sure how to verbalize those in print.
So, as before, I’m not aiming for anything eloquent and tidy. I simply present another smorgasbord of things I’ve been reading, thinking about, or putting into practice as I continue on with my Year of Shmita.
(*Lest you think my life is all puppies and rainbows, tough things continue to happen in the middle of this “experiment” and it isn’t always easy nor restful and sometimes I feel like a giant hypocrite!!)
I read one picture book related to the topic – Around the World in One Shabbat – and a quote from children’s literature happens to perfectly summarize what I aimed to achieve in February:
On Shabbat there is plenty of time to stop on the bridge and throw sticks in the stream.
I didn’t throw sticks but I went skiing and lounged in bed with my husband on Saturday mornings and talked by candlelight with my kids and I know this may sound hopelessly Norman Rockwell and, yes, this all points heavily toward my inherent privilege to have the flexibility necessary to pursue rest and leisure activities. But how often do we rush across the proverbial bridge, ignore the sticks, and miss out on the little joys and delights life has to offer?
Here’s to slowing down, throwing sticks into gurgling streams, and watching them float by for no other reason than it delights our souls.
People seemed to enjoy seeing my handwriting in January’s recap, so I’ll continue to post these pictures of my monthly notes. February required two pages!
MAJOR THEMES
Privilege. In modern society is rest now a luxury instead of a right? Socioeconomically this seems to play out in dramatic ways. The Biblical Sabbath served as a social equalizer. In a culture steeped in patriarchy, men, women, sons, daughters, slaves, servants, immigrants – even animals! – were commanded to have a complete day of rest. [Exodus 20:10: but the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns.] I pondered this aspect of Sabbath a lot.
Generosity. Shmita occurred every seven years and it was an even more intensive agent of social equalization. Debts were forgiven (yes, FORGIVEN), land was restored (say, for example, you had needed to give up your land inheritance to pay a debt, you would get that land back in the seventh year), and any extra crops beyond what were needed for survival were not to be collected by land owners. They were to be left for the poor/foreigners who could gather them without stigma because the landowners hadn’t done anything to nurture those crops. [Exodus 23: 10-11: For six years you are to sow your fields and harvest the crops,but during the seventh year let the land lie unplowed and unused. Then the poor among your people may get food from it, and the wild animals may eat what is left. Do the same with your vineyard and your olive grove. + Deuteronomy 15: 1-4. At the end of every seven years you must cancel debts. This is how it is to be done: Every creditor shall cancel any loan they have made to a fellow Israelite. They shall not require payment from anyone among their own people, because the Lord’s time for canceling debts has been proclaimed…there need be no poor people among you, for in the land the Lord your God is giving you to possess as your inheritance, He will richly bless you.].
Movement. Primarily this played out by me continuing a daily yoga practice. In addition to increasing the flexibility of my body, it’s a great source of rest for my brain.
Food. Where does feasting and fasting fit into a Sabbath practice?
Gratitude. What is the role of gratitude in theSabbath? Can we rest without contentment and giving thanks? Have I been unknowingly practicing a “Sabbath practice” all along with Happy Things Friday?
Screen time. It’s not all created equal. I need to avoid legalisism and just…be intentional.
Prevention. Simply put, I need to rest before I’m exhausted.
Rhythm. How do I let my body lead? The Sabbath is all about rhythm and so is life. Sleep, hunger, rest (mental and physical) – too often I’ve pushed to override the circuits of my body. I need to stop when I’m tired and embrace activity when I’m energetic. It’s okay – in fact, it’s natural and healthy! – to listen to the rhythms of my body, energy, and mental headspace!
BOOKS I READ THAT RELATE TO SABBATH (PLUS ONE PODCAST MENTION)
The Bible. This is going to show up every month! I read a lot more in the New Testament regarding the Sabbath; notably, it’s the only one of the Ten Commandments that isn’t repeated in the New Testament. Jesus states – counterculturally – that the Sabbath is made for man, not man for the Sabbath. Also, He claims to be Lord of the Sabbath, highlighting his deity.
Survival Guide for the Soul: How to Flourish Spiritually in a World that Pressures Us to Achieve by Ken Shigematsu (3.75 rounded up to 4/5). I didn’t love the writing style in this book, but some of the take-home messages were deeply impactful, in particular his discussions of gratitude and Sabbath which are of special relevance to me this year.
Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams by Matthew Walker (3.5 stars rounded up to 4/5). This book is a tome. A lot of material is covered – much of it interesting – but it feels like the author gets caught in the weeds too often. I also found some of the omissions glaring. Take, for instance, parenting. There was no in-depth consideration of the experience of parental sleep deprivation. How is this not one of the primary topics being covered considering the prevalence of this phenomenon?! Or what about bed-sharing (either co-sleeping with a child or with a partner; this feels like an extremely relevant topic – for example, how do sleep rates vary between single vs. married people?).
On the Clock: What Low-Wage Work Did to Me and How It Drives America Insane by Emily Guendelsberger (3.5 stars rounded up to 4/5). This book was an eye-opening look at “on-the-clock” jobs that involve constant monitoring of every minute worked, inhospitable conditions, and low wages. The author spent time in an Amazon distribution warehouse, a call center, and McDonald’s. Pulling back the curtain into the hidden realities of these low-income roles – and the people who work tirelessly in them – was compelling. I did think the lack of any real conclusion was a major oversight. Where were her suggestions for moving forward? What does she think the working world will look like in the future? How can people in higher-income roles help ease some of the burden of others – or should they? These jobs, while often physically demanding and downright depressing, are in high demand. (What happens if all these manual labour jobs are subverted by robots and automation?) Many larger sociological and philosophical questions remain…(Note: there is quite a lot of swearing in this book if that is something that distresses you.)
The Seven Day Circle: The History and Meaning of the Week by Eviatar Zerubavel. (3/5). This was a hard book to rate; I’d say it’s 3.5 rounded down to 3 as I don’t think I can justify a 4/5. Mostly because it was such dry reading (more anecdotes would have been nice!) and I think it had so much potential to be more engaging. Then again, I don’t think entertainment was Zerubavel’s goal. As a historical overview of the why and how of our ubiquitous seven-day weekly cycle, this book covers the bases. It’s an exhaustive look at how important the weekly cycle is to society, how deeply the Judeo-Christian organizational pattern impacts our view of time, and covers two fascinating instances of societies trying to break the link between religion and state via alternative length weeks (spoiler alert: the proposed changes didn’t stick).
Make Time: How to Focus on What Matters Every Day by Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky. (4/5). This was a solid – albeit forgettable – read on staying focused on priorities and personal values. Nothing earth-shattering in these pages, but it was an easy-to-read format that had little nuggets of wisdom and was generally enjoyable. A great place to start for someone pursuing a more intentionally restful life.
An Oasis in Time: How a Day of Rest Can Save Your Life by Marilyn Paul. (3/5). This book was…dry. I think it had a lot of potential, but didn’t deliver for me. There were a few helpful takeaways, but I found the constant references to other books distracting and didn’t feel any connection to the author’s own “oasis in time” stories. A miss for me, but I can see it being a helpful book for others!
The Complete Guide to Fasting: Heal Your Body Through Intermittent, Alternate-Day, and Extended Fasting by Jason Fung and Jimmy Moore. (4/5). This was a re-read for me. A good overview of fasting and different techniques. Ironically, this topic seems to fit in with my goal of making 2024 a year of rest, including digestive rest for my body via intermittent fasting. I’ve done IF before to manage weight, but this is the first time I’m considering it for spiritual refreshment, mental clarity, and improvement of other health markers ASIDE from weight.
I’m So Effing Hungry: Why We Crave What We Crave – and What to Do About It by Amy Shah. (4/5). Nothing astonishing or new, but a good reminder of some specific foods (walnuts!) that help curb hunger cravings and manage blood sugar levels. I also appreciated how there were lots of little “hints” set apart in each of the chapters which made the content easier to skim!
*See the bottom of this post for lots of quotes from the books mentioned above!*
SABBATH CHANGES
I didn’t make a lot of major changes, but I think my mindset continues to shift. It’s hard to convey in words how different February 2024 Elisabeth feels from February 2023 (or 2022/2021/2020…) Elisabeth. So instead of actionable changes, this month was more about reflection. There is lots of repeat from “Major Themes” above…
I thought more about pursuing rest and letting my body lead. When I’m tired and take the time to rest until I feel adequately restored…my energy comes back. (Imagine that). I need to move at the speed of my body and mind. Sometimes this means skipping an activity; the extra/unexpected white space feels amazing. Sometimes this means doing a gentle yoga routine instead of the more intensive routine on the schedule. If I wait until I’m exhausted to rest, it’s too late.
I thought a lot about the role of fasting for spiritual purposes. I completed an extended multi-day fast with my church community and it sparked my interest in how fasting (and feasting!) fit in to a pattern of rest. While I continue to eat “intuitively” and remain firm in my commitment to not step on a scale in 2024, I am being more intentional about what I eat and when for reasons beyond weight.
I thought about Sabbath and value/self-worth. In spiritual terms (in my belief), we have inherent value because God created us uniquely to glorify him. We are valuable simply because we exist. In evolutionary and modern working contexts, we have value only when we reproduce (or not, depending on our gene pool) or based on the quality/quantity of our productivity and outputs.
I’ve been thinking about screen time differently. Movies with John = a great time of connection. Letting A Facetime with a friend = a great investment in their friendship. I also backed off on my news consumption. Instead of reading it daily, I check in once a week or less. I need to focus my sphere of influence where I can have a true impact. My family, my friends, my community. I am not oblivious to the horrors and atrocities in the world around me, but I do not need daily updates on global events.
And that’s a wrap on February 2024 – the second month in my Year of Shmita.
I wrote down a lot of quotes from the books I mentioned above; this isn’t an exhaustive list of those quotes – nor does it necessarily represent my absolute favourites – but it’s a good sampling of the type of inspiration I was drawn to…
QUOTES
The Bible – key verses
Exodus 20:10
Matthew 12: 8-12
Mark 2: 23-28 + 3:4
Hebrews 4:9
Colossians 2:16
1 Corinthians 16:1-2.
Survival Guide for the Soul – Ken Shigematsu
While our habits clothe us – they also unclothe us. Our habits expose our wounds, our insecurities, our idols, our addictions, our chaos…Our habits are us.
When we cease working on our Sabbath, we live out the truth that our worth is not based on how much we accomplish or contribute to the world but on the simple glorious fact that we are a cherished child of God.
Until the Ten Commandments…no civilization had ever given ordinary, working people a regular day off. The gift of the Sabbath was truly a unique and unprecedented gift…
It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.
On the Clock – Emily Guendelsberger
We’re at a strange point in the history of work. Automation of most jobs is only a decade or two away, and human workers increasingly have to compete with computers, algorithms, and robots that never get tired, or sick, or depressed or need a day off.
…employers demand a workforce that can think, talk, feel, and pick stuff up like humans – but…they insist their workers amputate the messy human bits of themselves – family, hunger, thirst, emotions, the need to make rent, sickness, fatigue, boredom, depression, traffic…
…regardless of how broke I may be, I’m the upper class. I won’t ever really understand what it feels like to work here, because I know that I get to leave.
Machines are valued for their speed, efficiency, and predictability. The assumption in organizations has been that people ought to be able to operate in the same way.
There’s a huge body of research directly linking repetitive, low-control/high-stress work with increased risk of mental-health issues – particularly depression and anxiety.
What money can buy is free time and sleep, which are so closely correlated with self-reported happiness that they’re almost the same thing.
The Seven Day Circle – Eviatar Zerubavel.
Recalling what day today is is one of the first things we usually do upon waking, since it is indispensable for transcending our subjectivity and participating – at least mentally – in a social, rather than a merely personal, world.
Notes, not quotes:
Robinson Crusoe – to avoid forgetting the Sabbath – notches days into a post and, when he meets another human, names him Friday!
Unlike the day and the year, the week is an artificial rhythm that was created by human beings independently of any natural periodicity [e.g. lunar cycle].
The word Sunday in Russian = Voskresen’e = Resurrection. Early Christians observed Sunday (as Christians) and Saturday (as Jews).
This book was written in 1985 and the author says: “Today…stores normally close on Sunday.” Not true in 2024!
Charles-Gilbert Romme stated that the main purpose of the French “decade” or 10-day week was to “abolish Sunday.” To separate church and state, they felt destroying the Christian rhythm was critical.
An Oasis in Time – Marilyn Paul
Taking back our time is a subversive act these days. It entails claiming that we are much more than producers and consumers.
When people believe that their value comes from their accomplishments, it is especially hard to stop striving for these accomplishments.
[On the Sabbath] We stop prioritizing doing over being.
Heschel: To the biblical mind, however, labor is the means towards an end and the Sabbath as a day of rest, as a day of abstaining from toil, is not for the purpose of recovering one’s lost strength and becoming fit for the forthcoming labor. The Sabbath is a day for the sake of life. Man is not a beast of burden, and the Sabbath is not for the purpose of enhancing the efficiency of his work.
Sabbath is a day for the sake of life.
The ancient Greeks had no word for work; it was “ascholia” which means “not leisure.”
Rick Hanson: Our minds are Velcro for the negative and Teflon for the good.
What feels like underscheduling is actually a much more realistic way to allow time for what I need to do.
I think fasting is a very valid way of resting, but it is not easy! Just as resting is not easy for us nowadays. Every month my husband and I fast as part of our First Saturday devotion. We fast from after Thursday dinner until Sunday. I had to work up to this, and I drink a lot of water and tea, but it does very good things for me. My digestion has improved, and each month it seems to “reset” my cravings. I used to want to break my fast with an Egg McMuffin and hashbrowns, but over time that has changed, and this last month I wanted nothing more than roasted veggies with tahini sauce. Maybe the fast is helping me be more in touch with what my body needs, rather than what I want!
I love how you’re REALLY diving into your Year of Shmita. I’m very curious to hear more about the fasting- you mentioned a multi-day fast this month. Was that during your blogging break?
I really like your “major theme” section, especially the generosity part. And, I know why people like seeing your handwriting. Canadians all seem to write in beautiful cursive!
Nope. I fasted without mentioning it; the bloggy break was just some time off (and, spoiler alert, I’m taking another longer bloggy break soon).
I used to do a lot of intermittent fasting but it was exclusively for weight loss. Ugh. I didn’t love it. This fast was part of a spiritual discipline and I found it HARD (120 hours), but also very helpful. I was praying for specific things and honestly want to do another extended fast. I would do it a bit differently another time. I didn’t use bone broth and I would another time. I did tea, water, and sparkling water and licked a bit of salt each day.
I feel like my cursive is neither real cursive nor printing. It’s a weird hybrid, but I can write very quickly…so it works!
Pursuing rest seems impossible, but I know that it isn’t. I have been working to get to bed earlier and that has been a gift. I dislike feeling tired and I also dislike feeling frazzled.
You have a very good point – why wouldn’t that book mention the sleep deprivation that parents cope with? That is a real struggle. In my experience, sleep deprivation impacts everything. The book about focusing on what matters every day sounds like mandatory reading.
Thanks for sharing your journey. You do have lovely handwriting. I am your polar opposite in that regard. 😉
You have SO much on your plate, Ernie. I can’t imagine finding rest in the middle of such a busy time of life, but I’m so glad you’ve been carving out earlier bedtimes (why is that SO hard!)
Fabulous recap and I love how you’re staying on top of analyzing this project. Reviewing this all monthly and really making sure to keep it all front of mind is really impressive! I could see it being easy to say, “This is my year of Shmita!” and then looking up 8 months later like, Oh, wait, shoot…. I didn’t really change anything. (That would probably be me, lol!).
Awww, thanks! I really appreciate the cheerleading from everyone. It truly means a lot and keeps me motivated.
I think having a recap each month is helping me stay on track. Plus, I’m trying to immerse myself in it. Reading related books, taking notes etc.
Well, you had me at roasted vegetables with delicious sauces!
I am SO happy that you are letting your body lead the way. When I think of younger Elisabeth, pushing through with your absolutely harrowing periods and the resulting anemia, and not allowing yourself to be nourished with food and rest, I want to wrap you up in the warmest, softest blanket and bring you soup and cookies and chai, and, obviously, roasted vegetables with delicious sauces. The fact that you are taking such tender care of yourself now makes my heart literally swell, like I feel like the Grinch with the heart bursting out of the sizing square.
I have changed my screen time consumption as well, trying to use it as connection. It’s great for that if you can do it! Also, I rarely look at the news. I know that’s a privilege, but I really limit my news consumption.
Sometimes I’ve felt a bit subconscious about my lack of news consumption. Like yesterday I was wandering around wondering why all the flags were at half mast. I had heard somewhere that Brian M had passed, but it wasn’t resonating at all because I hadn’t actually READ any news stories about it. I know he is such an icon in Canadian politics, but I don’t need to spend time reading about what he did at this point, ya know? You are so right, though – in many ways it again points to privilege of living in a safe environment with clothes to wear and food to eat – these things that are SO easy to take for granted and yet aren’t available to so many (the majority?) of people on this planet. That’s sobering.
Oh! I have so many comments but I am going to try to keep it short. Firstly I would love to hear more about the fasting. I did a 5 day fast years ago and I felt so much better afterward, plus I was not as hungry as I thought I was going to be. I have some friends who do alternate day fasting and I have done intermittent fasting 16-8 and did feel better in some ways from it. However, one of the reasons I tried it was to conquer bloating, and it did not do that, so I decided to stop so I could try to figure out what was causing it and I never went back.
This line is so true: What money can buy is free time and sleep, which are so closely correlated with self-reported happiness that they’re almost the same thing.
I do think that money can’t buy happiness, but it sure can buy some conveniences that make us happy. I was just talking to a friend about paying someone to do certain things (clean our house or mow our lawn etc.) and how those change as we get older, and usually get more money. We decide more to pay for these things sometimes rather than do them ourselves, and that is a little bit fascinating to me.
I struggled with being VERY consumed with thoughts of food. I wasn’t necessarily hungry for food, but I craved the pleasure of eating. I missed that so. much.
It felt great overall, though. And, like I said, I would approach it differently another time. I think incorporating bone broth would go a long way in reducing hunger pangs. But I appreciated the spiritual focus it allowed. That said, it is HARD TO FAST WHEN YOU’RE PREPPING FOOD FOR YOUR CHILDREN. That was so tough. But I didn’t eat!
Yup. People that say money doesn’t buy happiness usually are being paid more than a living wage. What is it? $75 or $100K when they say the happiness impacts are eliminated? But some people are soooo far below that $75K threshold and struggling to make ends meet daily. There are so many layers to the socioeconomic cycle, but free time and sleep ARE so important and it’s kinda impossible to do that working shift work at a minimum wage job.
So many things bouncing around in my head after reading this. I’ll stick to two things to comment on!
1. It is a huge oversight to ignore parental sleep deprivation! What percentage of people are currently sleeping badly because of their adorable, much loved little people? It’s got to be high and it’s not like it’s something we parents have much control over. Also, for many of us, the people we might rely on for help are also young parents and also sleep deprived. When we were figuring out childcare for when I was in labour with #3, finding friends who could realistically commit to being available for a potential middle of the night call was more of a challenge because we’re all dealing with our kids waking at all hours. (And I completely understood when a friend or two said she was happy to help during the day but her own kids required too much of her at night to commit to taking on an extra two. I don’t think I could either at this point.)
2. Fasting and feasting… We’re Orthodox Christians and so fasting is something we do regularly. I was interested in your thoughts on the fast you did. I won’t say too much about how we fast, but I’ll drop a link in case you’re interested (https://www.goarch.org/-/when-you-fast)
Thank you for sharing your shmita journey! It’s a useful and interesting read
Yup. Parenting and lack of sleep (or even just insomnia after having kids – I don’t sleep nearly as soundly as I did before kiddos even though they rarely wake me up anymore) are huge and basically unavoidable. Also, all the jobs to do with HAVING kids take a lot of time. How many parents stay up late at night to do laundry or prep lunchboxes etc. So even if kids aren’t disturbing sleep anymore (you will get to that point) there are still huge ripple impacts of having children on sleep schedules.
I also write in a cursive printing hybrid. It’s maybe using cursive but a need to speed it up, maybe?
I appreciate you sharing. So many things to reflect on.
Elisabeth, amazed by your intentionality and continuing to cheer you on in this. Perhaps adding Rest is Resistance to your reading list could be interesting…I liked the author’s writing style a lot, and at first felt annoyed that she seemed to keep repeating herself–and then I remembered that dismantling the idea that we are human doers instead of human beings necessitated saying the same thing in many different ways. 🙂
Going to order this from the library now. The title rings such a big bell; maybe it’s already on my holds list? Either way, I will get this in my hands as soon as possible. Thanks for the rec 🙂
It’s available as an e-book and I added it to my shelf a few months ago to check out when we go on a family trip! I will report back as soon as I’ve read it!
I wonder if there is any kind of correlation between Schimta occuring every seven years and the so called “seven year itch”? Like maybe the marital dissatisfaction associated with the seven year itch is really a signal to slow down and rest and allow yourself and maybe your relationships to rejuvenate?
I’ve been thinking a lot of this idea of “fasting” lately since I joined a Lenten Women’s group. The reading that we are doing had a whole week on gluttony – not that I think that fasting is the opposite of being gluttonous, exactly. But I thought about all the things that we can be gluttonous about, and one of the things that came to my mind is “Time” Well, me at least. I find that I want to hold on to time tightly and also squander it. I want to feel like I have luxurious amounts of it and then I spend it on things that are essentially “empty calories” and feel gross afterwards. But a time fast seems like an interesting idea – of emptying your schedule to understand what is cluttering it. I don’t know that I’ll ever be ready to go that far, but it’s an interesting thought.
Fascinating; love this take on the “seven-year itch.” Ironic since we’ve been married 14.5 years! I need to delve into that and love the thought of rejuvenating relationships in that time. I should add some relationship books to reading for one of these months and make marriage one of the central foci in one of the months!
And a time fast! Wow. I need you to design my year of Shmita for me because this is all just…fabulous, Diane!!! I have just taken notes in my March planner page devoted to Shmita and I wrote your name in capital letters beside said notes. This is just so helpful and great food for thought.
I really love your musings on this topic! Thank you! You have given me much to think about. I so wish that someday I could be a “day of rest” person too. I remember my Rabbi talking about Shabbat and saying that although we could not work on shabbat, we could push a piano across a room if that was what we found restful. I thought that was an interesting idea, that sometimes we would need to put work into rest, but I think you are putting so much amazing work into your rest that the “rest” you searching for will have so much more meaning.
Also, I got really angry at the Matthew Walker book because I felt it should be titled “Why Men Sleep”. I felt he completely overlooked women. Most of the research he cited did not include women – I checked some of the studies he used and they were primarily from men, which is a problem of the medical industry but also we need to do better. When he did start to talk about women he went straight for childbearing women and breastfeeding women and how babies sleep was worse when women had even a small amount of alcohol. I don’t doubt this… but am I not a human? What am I supposed to do with the knowledge that I am totally sleepless and that my main responsibility is to help keep babies and little people asleep? What if I have every good sleep habit but I breastfeed? Does my sleep not matter… and am I psychologically and physiologically worse than a man who plays on a phone all night? I almost wrote him a letter… but I was too tired at the time.
Thanks, Rachel! This means a lot to me because I know you think a lot about women/motherhood, work, equity, and time management! Your encouragement and thoughts are wonderful.
Okay. I’m glad it wasn’t just me that felt there were some glaring oversights in Walker’s book (especially given it’s SO big!).
I laughed so hard at this: I almost wrote him a letter… but I was too tired at the time. (Though it’s both funny and sad because I assume you were so tired at the time BECAUSE YOU WERE RAISING HUMAN BEINGS). I struggle with the same feelings when I read Cal Newport. I don’t discount everything he says (and I guess if I’m talking about and acknowledging my intense privilege to even contemplate these things – i.e. I can take the time to ponder this, could step back from a working role, it’s not necessarily any different – but when he talks about deep work IT’S BECAUSE HIS WIFE STAYS AT HOME AND HANDLES MUCH OF THE EMOTIONAL LABOUR.)
I can find value in both Walker and Newports work, but it always feels a bit bitter in my throat because, well, women aren’t represented very much and the reason some things can be accomplished by men is because women are doing a lot of behind-the-scenes exhausting work (and it IS work even if there isn’t necessarily a paycheck involved).
I guess I got up on my little soap box there, didn’t I?!
Our society definitely doesn’t feel like it values or prioritizes rest. When I tracked my time, I was kind of paranoid about how much time I spend in bed. I am generally in bed from 9:30-6. It takes some time to fall asleep and I always seem to wake during the night. It it’s kind of counter cultural to spend that much time in bed when so many say how they only sleep 6 hours/night. It makes me feel kind of lazy? But it’s what my body needs – and I am still tired on top of that. I am trying not to say ‘busy’ when people ask me how I am because it’s not an interesting answer and it kind of glorifies being busy if everyone is always using that way to describe how they are…
Oh my goodness, you are NOT LAZY! For one, you take good care of your health and need to. I am so proud of how you know your limits and guard those, especially in light of your RA.
I mean, it doesn’t matter how much I sleep I’m always tired. For years I chased so many health things (to be fair, I know the anemia was bad and it translated in various ways), but I honestly think most of my exhaustion is the cumulative toll of being a parent and human! It’s…exhausting!
Karen A.
I think fasting is a very valid way of resting, but it is not easy! Just as resting is not easy for us nowadays. Every month my husband and I fast as part of our First Saturday devotion. We fast from after Thursday dinner until Sunday. I had to work up to this, and I drink a lot of water and tea, but it does very good things for me. My digestion has improved, and each month it seems to “reset” my cravings. I used to want to break my fast with an Egg McMuffin and hashbrowns, but over time that has changed, and this last month I wanted nothing more than roasted veggies with tahini sauce. Maybe the fast is helping me be more in touch with what my body needs, rather than what I want!
Elisabeth
Love that fasting has become such a great addition to your life (and how wonderful to do it with your husband – misery/challenge loves company).
I also feel like fasting helps reset cravings and everything just tastes better and more “decadent.”
Jenny
I love how you’re REALLY diving into your Year of Shmita. I’m very curious to hear more about the fasting- you mentioned a multi-day fast this month. Was that during your blogging break?
I really like your “major theme” section, especially the generosity part. And, I know why people like seeing your handwriting. Canadians all seem to write in beautiful cursive!
Elisabeth
Nope. I fasted without mentioning it; the bloggy break was just some time off (and, spoiler alert, I’m taking another longer bloggy break soon).
I used to do a lot of intermittent fasting but it was exclusively for weight loss. Ugh. I didn’t love it. This fast was part of a spiritual discipline and I found it HARD (120 hours), but also very helpful. I was praying for specific things and honestly want to do another extended fast. I would do it a bit differently another time. I didn’t use bone broth and I would another time. I did tea, water, and sparkling water and licked a bit of salt each day.
I feel like my cursive is neither real cursive nor printing. It’s a weird hybrid, but I can write very quickly…so it works!
Suzanne
I continue to find your Shmita journey fascinating and inspirational. Thank you so much for sharing your progress and reflections.
Elisabeth
Thanks, friend <3 I appreciate people following along!
Ernie
Pursuing rest seems impossible, but I know that it isn’t. I have been working to get to bed earlier and that has been a gift. I dislike feeling tired and I also dislike feeling frazzled.
You have a very good point – why wouldn’t that book mention the sleep deprivation that parents cope with? That is a real struggle. In my experience, sleep deprivation impacts everything. The book about focusing on what matters every day sounds like mandatory reading.
Thanks for sharing your journey. You do have lovely handwriting. I am your polar opposite in that regard. 😉
Elisabeth
You have SO much on your plate, Ernie. I can’t imagine finding rest in the middle of such a busy time of life, but I’m so glad you’ve been carving out earlier bedtimes (why is that SO hard!)
Grateful Kae
Fabulous recap and I love how you’re staying on top of analyzing this project. Reviewing this all monthly and really making sure to keep it all front of mind is really impressive! I could see it being easy to say, “This is my year of Shmita!” and then looking up 8 months later like, Oh, wait, shoot…. I didn’t really change anything. (That would probably be me, lol!).
Elisabeth
Awww, thanks! I really appreciate the cheerleading from everyone. It truly means a lot and keeps me motivated.
I think having a recap each month is helping me stay on track. Plus, I’m trying to immerse myself in it. Reading related books, taking notes etc.
Beckett @ Birchwood Pie
I am taking notes. I am so looking forward to just being able to rest when I need to rest instead of having to push through when I’m tired.
Elisabeth
Yay! The finish line is in sight, Birchie <3
Nicole MacPherson
Well, you had me at roasted vegetables with delicious sauces!
I am SO happy that you are letting your body lead the way. When I think of younger Elisabeth, pushing through with your absolutely harrowing periods and the resulting anemia, and not allowing yourself to be nourished with food and rest, I want to wrap you up in the warmest, softest blanket and bring you soup and cookies and chai, and, obviously, roasted vegetables with delicious sauces. The fact that you are taking such tender care of yourself now makes my heart literally swell, like I feel like the Grinch with the heart bursting out of the sizing square.
I have changed my screen time consumption as well, trying to use it as connection. It’s great for that if you can do it! Also, I rarely look at the news. I know that’s a privilege, but I really limit my news consumption.
Elisabeth
Ha! You are queen of the kitchen, Nicole!
Sometimes I’ve felt a bit subconscious about my lack of news consumption. Like yesterday I was wandering around wondering why all the flags were at half mast. I had heard somewhere that Brian M had passed, but it wasn’t resonating at all because I hadn’t actually READ any news stories about it. I know he is such an icon in Canadian politics, but I don’t need to spend time reading about what he did at this point, ya know? You are so right, though – in many ways it again points to privilege of living in a safe environment with clothes to wear and food to eat – these things that are SO easy to take for granted and yet aren’t available to so many (the majority?) of people on this planet. That’s sobering.
Kyria @ Travel Spot
Oh! I have so many comments but I am going to try to keep it short. Firstly I would love to hear more about the fasting. I did a 5 day fast years ago and I felt so much better afterward, plus I was not as hungry as I thought I was going to be. I have some friends who do alternate day fasting and I have done intermittent fasting 16-8 and did feel better in some ways from it. However, one of the reasons I tried it was to conquer bloating, and it did not do that, so I decided to stop so I could try to figure out what was causing it and I never went back.
This line is so true: What money can buy is free time and sleep, which are so closely correlated with self-reported happiness that they’re almost the same thing.
I do think that money can’t buy happiness, but it sure can buy some conveniences that make us happy. I was just talking to a friend about paying someone to do certain things (clean our house or mow our lawn etc.) and how those change as we get older, and usually get more money. We decide more to pay for these things sometimes rather than do them ourselves, and that is a little bit fascinating to me.
Elisabeth
I struggled with being VERY consumed with thoughts of food. I wasn’t necessarily hungry for food, but I craved the pleasure of eating. I missed that so. much.
It felt great overall, though. And, like I said, I would approach it differently another time. I think incorporating bone broth would go a long way in reducing hunger pangs. But I appreciated the spiritual focus it allowed. That said, it is HARD TO FAST WHEN YOU’RE PREPPING FOOD FOR YOUR CHILDREN. That was so tough. But I didn’t eat!
Yup. People that say money doesn’t buy happiness usually are being paid more than a living wage. What is it? $75 or $100K when they say the happiness impacts are eliminated? But some people are soooo far below that $75K threshold and struggling to make ends meet daily. There are so many layers to the socioeconomic cycle, but free time and sleep ARE so important and it’s kinda impossible to do that working shift work at a minimum wage job.
Maria
So many things bouncing around in my head after reading this. I’ll stick to two things to comment on!
1. It is a huge oversight to ignore parental sleep deprivation! What percentage of people are currently sleeping badly because of their adorable, much loved little people? It’s got to be high and it’s not like it’s something we parents have much control over. Also, for many of us, the people we might rely on for help are also young parents and also sleep deprived. When we were figuring out childcare for when I was in labour with #3, finding friends who could realistically commit to being available for a potential middle of the night call was more of a challenge because we’re all dealing with our kids waking at all hours. (And I completely understood when a friend or two said she was happy to help during the day but her own kids required too much of her at night to commit to taking on an extra two. I don’t think I could either at this point.)
2. Fasting and feasting… We’re Orthodox Christians and so fasting is something we do regularly. I was interested in your thoughts on the fast you did. I won’t say too much about how we fast, but I’ll drop a link in case you’re interested (https://www.goarch.org/-/when-you-fast)
Thank you for sharing your shmita journey! It’s a useful and interesting read
Elisabeth
Yup. Parenting and lack of sleep (or even just insomnia after having kids – I don’t sleep nearly as soundly as I did before kiddos even though they rarely wake me up anymore) are huge and basically unavoidable. Also, all the jobs to do with HAVING kids take a lot of time. How many parents stay up late at night to do laundry or prep lunchboxes etc. So even if kids aren’t disturbing sleep anymore (you will get to that point) there are still huge ripple impacts of having children on sleep schedules.
Thanks for the link! I’m checking it out now.
Shelly
I also write in a cursive printing hybrid. It’s maybe using cursive but a need to speed it up, maybe?
I appreciate you sharing. So many things to reflect on.
Elisabeth
Yes – this is me exactly. My printing “shortcuts” allow me to write more quickly.
Sara
Elisabeth, amazed by your intentionality and continuing to cheer you on in this. Perhaps adding Rest is Resistance to your reading list could be interesting…I liked the author’s writing style a lot, and at first felt annoyed that she seemed to keep repeating herself–and then I remembered that dismantling the idea that we are human doers instead of human beings necessitated saying the same thing in many different ways. 🙂
Elisabeth
Going to order this from the library now. The title rings such a big bell; maybe it’s already on my holds list? Either way, I will get this in my hands as soon as possible. Thanks for the rec 🙂
Elisabeth
It’s available as an e-book and I added it to my shelf a few months ago to check out when we go on a family trip! I will report back as soon as I’ve read it!
Diane
I wonder if there is any kind of correlation between Schimta occuring every seven years and the so called “seven year itch”? Like maybe the marital dissatisfaction associated with the seven year itch is really a signal to slow down and rest and allow yourself and maybe your relationships to rejuvenate?
I’ve been thinking a lot of this idea of “fasting” lately since I joined a Lenten Women’s group. The reading that we are doing had a whole week on gluttony – not that I think that fasting is the opposite of being gluttonous, exactly. But I thought about all the things that we can be gluttonous about, and one of the things that came to my mind is “Time” Well, me at least. I find that I want to hold on to time tightly and also squander it. I want to feel like I have luxurious amounts of it and then I spend it on things that are essentially “empty calories” and feel gross afterwards. But a time fast seems like an interesting idea – of emptying your schedule to understand what is cluttering it. I don’t know that I’ll ever be ready to go that far, but it’s an interesting thought.
Elisabeth
Fascinating; love this take on the “seven-year itch.” Ironic since we’ve been married 14.5 years! I need to delve into that and love the thought of rejuvenating relationships in that time. I should add some relationship books to reading for one of these months and make marriage one of the central foci in one of the months!
And a time fast! Wow. I need you to design my year of Shmita for me because this is all just…fabulous, Diane!!! I have just taken notes in my March planner page devoted to Shmita and I wrote your name in capital letters beside said notes. This is just so helpful and great food for thought.
Rachel
I really love your musings on this topic! Thank you! You have given me much to think about. I so wish that someday I could be a “day of rest” person too. I remember my Rabbi talking about Shabbat and saying that although we could not work on shabbat, we could push a piano across a room if that was what we found restful. I thought that was an interesting idea, that sometimes we would need to put work into rest, but I think you are putting so much amazing work into your rest that the “rest” you searching for will have so much more meaning.
Also, I got really angry at the Matthew Walker book because I felt it should be titled “Why Men Sleep”. I felt he completely overlooked women. Most of the research he cited did not include women – I checked some of the studies he used and they were primarily from men, which is a problem of the medical industry but also we need to do better. When he did start to talk about women he went straight for childbearing women and breastfeeding women and how babies sleep was worse when women had even a small amount of alcohol. I don’t doubt this… but am I not a human? What am I supposed to do with the knowledge that I am totally sleepless and that my main responsibility is to help keep babies and little people asleep? What if I have every good sleep habit but I breastfeed? Does my sleep not matter… and am I psychologically and physiologically worse than a man who plays on a phone all night? I almost wrote him a letter… but I was too tired at the time.
Elisabeth
Thanks, Rachel! This means a lot to me because I know you think a lot about women/motherhood, work, equity, and time management! Your encouragement and thoughts are wonderful.
Okay. I’m glad it wasn’t just me that felt there were some glaring oversights in Walker’s book (especially given it’s SO big!).
I laughed so hard at this: I almost wrote him a letter… but I was too tired at the time. (Though it’s both funny and sad because I assume you were so tired at the time BECAUSE YOU WERE RAISING HUMAN BEINGS). I struggle with the same feelings when I read Cal Newport. I don’t discount everything he says (and I guess if I’m talking about and acknowledging my intense privilege to even contemplate these things – i.e. I can take the time to ponder this, could step back from a working role, it’s not necessarily any different – but when he talks about deep work IT’S BECAUSE HIS WIFE STAYS AT HOME AND HANDLES MUCH OF THE EMOTIONAL LABOUR.)
I can find value in both Walker and Newports work, but it always feels a bit bitter in my throat because, well, women aren’t represented very much and the reason some things can be accomplished by men is because women are doing a lot of behind-the-scenes exhausting work (and it IS work even if there isn’t necessarily a paycheck involved).
I guess I got up on my little soap box there, didn’t I?!
Lisa’s Yarns
Our society definitely doesn’t feel like it values or prioritizes rest. When I tracked my time, I was kind of paranoid about how much time I spend in bed. I am generally in bed from 9:30-6. It takes some time to fall asleep and I always seem to wake during the night. It it’s kind of counter cultural to spend that much time in bed when so many say how they only sleep 6 hours/night. It makes me feel kind of lazy? But it’s what my body needs – and I am still tired on top of that. I am trying not to say ‘busy’ when people ask me how I am because it’s not an interesting answer and it kind of glorifies being busy if everyone is always using that way to describe how they are…
Elisabeth
Oh my goodness, you are NOT LAZY! For one, you take good care of your health and need to. I am so proud of how you know your limits and guard those, especially in light of your RA.
I mean, it doesn’t matter how much I sleep I’m always tired. For years I chased so many health things (to be fair, I know the anemia was bad and it translated in various ways), but I honestly think most of my exhaustion is the cumulative toll of being a parent and human! It’s…exhausting!