In an effort to focus on the good things in life – the happy things – I present a new weekly feature on the blog:
Happy Things Friday.
I loved prepping my Casual Friday posts but they were starting to feel a bit stale and cumbersome. Now I have a little section in my weekly tracking to note things that are making me smile and they’ll show up here on Friday.
When I was debating on a new title for my blog I tossed around the idea of calling it Keep Joyfinding. I’m happy I stuck with The Optimistic Musings of a Pessimist (which represents my lifelong bent toward pessimism and the fact that many moons ago I had a short-lived blog and it was titled – wait for it – The Optimistic Musings of a Pessimist; launching another blog under the same title felt like I had come full circle.)
Anyhoo, one of my goals for this blog is inherently selfish. I want to have a reason to focus on the good. Knowing that I plan to share Happy Things makes me more inclined to seek out Happy Things or at least pay attention to what’s happening around me. And Everyday Things become Happy Things when we pay attention.
Speech over. I hope you enjoy showing up here with me each Friday to discuss Happy Things. The world is not always a happy place, but it’s important to carve out venues and times to focus on the good, fun, happy, and joyful. I’d love it if you kept your own list of Happy Things and shared it here each week.
Cross Country Fun
In our school system, you can’t join the cross-country team until Grade 3 and we have a little guy who has been anxiously awaiting this day for years. He loves to run and – through no merit of his own – seems to have inherited a runner’s body (it did not come from his mother)! Long, lean limbs, great form, and a genuine love of running fast. Imagine our delight when he placed first at the inaugural meet of the season! I missed the celebration because I was on my “Solo Retreat” (see below), but the pictures and videos told me everything I needed to know: this sweetie loved every minute of the experience. We have multiple more meets ahead and I’ll be there cheering at the top of my lungs.
Retreat at the Lake
This week has been incredible. Everything I hoped it would be and more. I slept. I read. After every meal we sat and chatted for hours around the table. I went for walks with my mom. I split wood with my dad. I helped them both with some tech issues. I cooked a few meals, but mostly just relished Mom’s home cooking. We watched a few movies together. I worked. I launched a new blog. We went for boat rides. Dad pulled out an old photo album and we sat on the beach in the sunshine and reminisced.
Right this second I am sitting in front of the wood stove after a shower; I’m in my comfy PJs listening to music and writing this blog post. I’ll even stop and take a picture! Isn’t the fire cozy?
This is the first time since having kids I have been away solo (aside from two nights when I traveled to my grandmother’s funeral which doesn’t really fit into the “solo retreat” category). Walking out the door with just my suitcase and laptop bag and basically zero advance planning felt incredible.
John and the kids had a great week in my absence! Fun meals, time with friends, lots of extracurriculars. Knowing everyone was doing well at home allowed me to really sink into the relaxation of this time away.
Twinkle Lights
About a month ago I put twinkle lights around the exterior of our back shed and I just love them. We’ve had multiple bonfires around our back pit and the ambiance is lovely. Doesn’t that cheery glow scream HAPPY?
Thanks to everyone for such kind words about the blog layout and graphics and your continued patience as I sort out some ongoing issues with loading/comments/layout quirks; everything will get sorted eventually! Sometimes things seem to be working properly and other times the screens look “wonky.” Gah but also…such is life.
And here is where I pause to give a giant shoutout to Kae (Grateful Kae). I asked a few friends for feedback regarding logo options and Kae suggested I consider incorporating a lighthouse (brilliant!). The rest is history. It’s perfect, and I want to give credit where credit is due: three cheers to Kae. I don’t think a lighthouse would ever have crossed my mind but it’s perfect.
My People
And the final happy thing this week is the most important Happy Thing. People and relationships.
I’ve struggled a lot in recent months with the weight of an ongoing conflict. Here’s the thing: I like to be liked. I want to please others. I want to be a peacemaker. I want to be seen as kind and generous and loving. And it has genuinely pained my heart to think that I’m being perceived – rightly or wrongly – as unkind.
But lately, I’ve been trying to flip that internal narrative. Okay, there are a few people who actively dislike me. Why am I focused on that? Why let a few raindrops ruin a sunny celebration? And I have so much sunshine in my life…
So thank you. I know I’m going to miss mentioning people below and I’m sorry! This feels like a mediocre Oscar acceptance speech gone awry but:
To John. For loving me unconditionally. For always trying to make me laugh, but also realizing sometimes I just need to have a good, cathartic cry. For being an incredible spouse, father, and friend. You’re my everything.
To Joy. For being my anchor, support, and best friend. I wouldn’t want to do life without you. Thank you for sending all those memes. Don’t stop. I told you I would take a bullet for you…and it’s true. Let’s hope it never comes to that, but you know where I stand <3
To Mom and Dad (who don’t read this blog), and Rebecca, Laura, and Elizabeth (who do). For being such wonderful family members who care for me, love to laugh, and epitomize “happy places” for me.
To my “blogging friends”, who are actually just real-life friends. Everyone has been so supportive and kind over the last few years as I’ve joined this online community, but I felt especially loved in the midst of all the recent chaos. Thanks to Sarah (SHU), Sarah (Jedd), San, Kyria, Engie, Beckett, Kaethe, and Suzanne for reaching out, helping me pick a logo, and being so sympathetic and kind. For those of you who don’t have blogs but reached out in concern – thank you!
Special appreciation to:
Nicole: for all the e-mails and texts and love (so. much. love.) – I felt it. It meant more than you know <3
Lisa: for “getting” me and ditto on the e-mails/texts/love. When are you coming to Nova Scotia?
Kae: for so much more than just suggesting a lighthouse (but that was brilliant inspiration); for troubleshooting blog stuff, sharing the first PSA, and touching base regularly to make sure I was okay.
Jenny: for being so kind and loving. Seeing an e-mail from you is always a happy moment in my day. And your guest post can finally go live. Oops! I didn’t time that experience very well for you, did I? (Stay tuned – it’s coming Monday morning.)
Happy weekending friends. I hope it’s full of Happy Things. If you have any Happy Things to share, I’m listening…
Kyria @ Travel Spot
I love finishing up with week with happy things! This is such a great idea. It’s better to go into the weekend with a smile on your face rather than rehashing any/all of the negative things. Thanks for the shout out; I am happy that I could help make your week better! I have had blog issues before and it is so frustrating, and it would be easy to just give up but it is so nice to have the community, isn’t it!?
A couple of good things in my week were: finishing Mama Love, going to pho with my work husband and having a very good heart to heart and learning something from him that made me very happy, getting to see my Dad and brother on Saturday, as well as a cousin I have not seen in a while and my kiddos (my friend’s kids) at a soccer game and farmers market, spending Sunday reading an entire book, cleaning out one closet and catching up with a friend I haven’t seen on Sunday! Wow, that makes me feel a LOT better and putting it in writing is so cleansing.
Elisabeth
It is a lovely community and it was so nice to know that I was coming back to that – I lost the content, but not the people <3
So many happy things Kyria! Thanks for sharing.
Jenny
Aww… I love it! I completely agree- once you start looking for happy things, your life is focused on that and you find them everywhere.
Congratulations to Levi! I’m going to have to experience this vicariously because neither of my kids is athletic. I’ve tried to get them to run with me but they hate it. How fun that you have a runner in the family!
And wow- Kae really nailed it. I was wondering how you came up with that (although it almost seems obvious! It’s funny Kae was the only one to think of it.) I also love this blogging community so, so much. What an amazing group of fascinating, funny and supportive women.
My happy things from this week include having dinner with a friend I haven’t seen in over a year, buying a new book from my favorite author (I rarely buy books so this was a treat) and getting our freezer fixed! It hasn’t been dispensing ice for a long time, so now it feels like an incredible luxury to simply press a button and have ice come out.
Elisabeth
The lighthouse was brilliant (I had been playing around with various logos and had a few I loved but they weren’t “quite right” when Kae swooped in with her suggestion <3
Love your happy things. Friends (and food), books, and ice. A trifecta of happy things, indeed...
Suzanne
Awww, this is like a brilliant ray of sunshine to bask in! Love this. (I took the opposite tack today, and well Full Negative. LOL.) Love that you are finding your way back to blogging and that you are actively seeking joy. In doing so, you are spreading it around and I am so appreciative. Loving your twinkle lights and the fall colors on your lake retreat! Wonderful! Hope your weekend has a lot of happiness in it. xxoo
Elisabeth
I am here for Full Negative. You have had such a busy few months and moving house is soooo stressful. I hope things get sorted – and quickly – and your new house starts to feel like home soon <3
Colleen Martin
Soooo glad to have found you again. You have no idea how many times I kept searching for your blog to find a weird domain name site and wondering what the heck happened. I’ve missed your writing and I’m happy for all your happiness in this post!
Elisabeth
Thanks, Colleen! Sorry I was MIA for a lot of commenting, too. Life has been especially hectic, but I’m so glad to be back up and running!
Engie
Yay for looking for happiness! The cat is super cuddly today (I think it’s because she doesn’t feel well, to be truthful) and I am all about extra kitty cuddles in the morning!!
Elisabeth
I hope Zelda is feeling better soon and her tummy issues get sorted. I can’t remember when she goes to the vet. Sending love to your whole family. I’m glad she’s extra snuggly, but hope your Happy Thing next week is that she is fully recovered and back to herself!
Ally Bean
Ah ha! So you didn’t just vanish. I was worried when I found your blog just gone. Thanks to J I’m finding you here at your new home. Lovely template, great name for your blog, so happy to have found you again.
Elisabeth
Thanks, Ally! I did vanish, but now I’m back and thanks for the encouragement. There are some kinks to work out but it’s slowly (slowly!!) feeling like “home” again.
Ernie
Hi Elisabeth- new here, or fairly new. I popped over when Colleen Martin mentioned that your blog was deleted. What? That sounded dreadful, so here I am to check out what happened. Sorry about that. I can’t imagine. feel for you.
This week- I was happy to host book club last night . . . mostly because my house was begging for order and order has been restored. I love to host because I like to be forced to organize. The leftover appetizers aren’t too bad either.
Elisabeth
It was pretty awful and I cried and now it’s over and I’m starting from scratch! Just another blip on the radar. Onward and upward!!!
I vacillate between loving the pressure of having someone coming to inspire me to, you know, actually clean the toilets (etc) – and then feeling resentful that I have to clean the toilets (and I know I could outsource this, but right now.
Sign me up for any and all leftovers. Yum. Now I’m hungry 🙂
J
I’m so glad you were able to get away and spend time with your parents. What an amazing gift, to be able to spend so much time with them, to be able to have so much quiet time sans kids, etc. That makes you come home rejuvenated and ready for the busy life you are living.
So glad your blog is back, you were definitely missed!
Elisabeth
Yes! It was such a great week and I’m so thankful it all worked out – everyone stayed healthy, my husband was home, everything went smoothly for everyone. Just a perfectly delightful week, and so special to have that 1-on-1 time with my parents. I’ll cherish these memories for the rest of my life!
Katie
Elisabeth!! I am SO happy to see you back – you have been very missed!
I feel you on the people pleasing and wanting to be liked. Like you, I know for a fact there are a few people out there who actively dislike me, and it steals my happiness way too often thinking about that/them. I can imagine how a confrontation will have affected you, and I am sending you lots of love and wishes of gentleness and self-care!
Elisabeth
Thanks, Katie. It’s great to be back. I’m sorry I’ve been so behind on reading blogs and commenting; what exciting news about your trip and A’s boyfriend!!! *Squeal*
sarah
What a brilliant idea to track the weekly good stuff! I absolutely love this. We are in a very… uncertain season in an area I absolutely CANNOT blog about, and I think I am going to start consciously joyfinding until we are through the worst of it. Thanks for the inspo and for introducing me to the wonderful blog community.
Elisabeth
I’m sorry, Sarah, for whatever tough stuff you’re going through. Sending hugs. Wish we could grab a coffee together and chat, but I love how we can show up for each other online and bring light, joy and support to each other. <3
Nicole MacPherson
Well, this was just wonderful to read. We have such a great community here, and you are such a valued and important part of it. More than that, you are my dear friend! I love how you’re rewriting the narrative here. Sure, there are some people who DON’T think you’re fabulous, but more of us do, and we will steamroll over those people, figuratively speaking. Steamroll, I say!
I think this concept of Happy Things is really great. It reminds me of many years ago, one of my favourite writers, Catherine Newman. She wrote for Babycenter for many years and when she left that job she said that she thought she was a better parent because of all her readers. Because she was thinking about things more mindfully in order to write about them, she thought she was actually better as a parent. That feels similar here, because you’re actively looking for happy things to write about, you’re going to find more happy things. After all, what you focus on is what you see more of, just naturally.
Anyway, the lighthouse is absolutely perfect for you on so many levels. Great job Kae!
Elisabeth
*Hugs* Thanks for all the love and support and for being a great friend this last few years! It feels like I’ve known you forever and I still can’t believe we’ve never met in person (gotta change that!).
Yes – I relate 100% to what you’re saying about Catherine Newman. I DO think blogging makes me more aware because I’m trying to stash away Happy moments. If, as Nora Ephron says, “Everything is copy”…I want to have my eyes and ears open for that “copy.”
What we think becomes who we are and I really am a pessimist at my core; Happy Things is my stubborn response to that!!
San
Oh, Elisabeth, personality-wise, I feel like we’re so very much alike… it would gut me to know that people think of me as unkind and I can only imagine what it did to your heart, especially you’re kindness personified.
It’s hard to stomach that someone actively dislikes you (when you have done nothing to deserve this)… but I think it’s okay to realize that not everybody has to like you (I try to remind myself in such situations that I also encounter people that have done nothing to me but that are just not my people and that is okay!). You clearly have so much sunshine in your life and so many amazing people in your corner that this person doesn’t matter. Yes, it stings to be perceived wrongly, but it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
I love this new blog series and look forward to more Fridays when we focus on the good, turn the negativity around (even though it’s also good to sometimes air our grievances. Hi Suzanne!) and make some more lemonade! <3
Thanks for the shoutout in this post and for being such an integral part of this beautiful blog community!
Hat tip to Kae for the logo inspo! So fitting for you 🙂
Elisabeth
Yup – it weighs on me A LOT that people dislike me. Oh well. Can’t please everybody and I really am trying extra hard now to focus on all the sunshine! Meet with friends for coffee! Invite people over to chat while our kids play! Drown out the negative with the positive. I have more power in this situation than I give myself credit for.
But yes, still very hard and it hurts my heart…a lot.
Looking forward to next Friday and I have a running list of Happy Things started already!
Lisa’s Yarns
I’m so glad you are back and really want to make it to Nova Scotia to meet you and see your gorgeous province!! The furthest east I have been in Canada is Manitoba! So I have some traveling to do and visiting you is high on the list!!
I love that you finally got a solo retreat. It sounds very dreamy. My first trip away from the kids for myself was my girls trip to Banff in August. It was so very wonderful and just what I needed to feel like myself a get/get a glimpse of who I was before becoming a mom! I hope you can swing more solo retreats! You are always welcome here in Minneapolis, too. Kae is a short drive away so we could have a little meet up. 🙂
This week was kind of tough and exhausting. I felt like I was on a hamster wheel that was spinning at an unsustainable pace at work. The worst was Friday when I was on a call trying to solve a complex problem for a client on the fly while getting teams messages and emails from the same person who wanted an answer on something else while Paul was home and was asking for another cracker! Even though the sleeve of crackers was sitting in front of him. I wanted to crawl under the dining room table and curl into the fetal position… but I think my new hire should really help and take things off my plate. Training and spending time with him was the high of my week. He is learning so fast and is a dream hire. Now I hope he stays!!
Elisabeth
I think you’d LOVE it here (then again, maybe not – it is quite rural!)
The time away was incredible and I’m already dreaming of my next one. I’m aiming for at least 3/year moving forward, I think. It was just such a breath of fresh air and John is more than happy to take the reigns at home while I’m gone. And going to my parents was perfect. It was low-key so I fit in lots of time to work and rest, but then I did have company (and someone making most of my meals). It was like the best of all the worlds – quiet when I needed quiet, and friendship and love when I needed that too.
Oof. What a rough week. I’m so sorry, Lisa. This has just been such an intense year (YEARS!) for you and I know the sick bugs have been horrible at the start of this school season. I’m thrilled things are going so well with the new hire, though. And in the long term this should alleviate a lot of pressure. Hope the weekend was relaxing and you’re heading back into Monday with some renewed energy and a healthy family!!!
Tobia | craftaliciousme
Looking for happiness snippets on a weekly basis is such a great practice. And you know I do try to do. it too. I will be looking forward reading about yours.
That time at the lake sounds wonderful. It is interesting, that the trees are already so much into fall foliage. I am looking at trees and they are still very green. Always interesting how different that is wherever you are.
Elisabeth
It was strange – one side of the lake was still ALL green, and the other side had all sorts of gorgeous colours. Must be the amount of sunlight at different times of the day?
The leaves won’t hit their “peak” for another week or so, but it was gorgeous.
Jan Coates
Hi, Elisabeth: Happy to find your “new” blog (thanks for your email). I’ve been in Haliburton for the most part since mid-May, and I love it here! I wake up in the mornings knowing Ada is 1.5 hours away in Peterborough, and Noelle 2.5 hours away in Scarborough, plus this is such a beautiful place. Yes – I’d love to have a catch-up. We’re here until about mid-October, so I’ll be in touch. Very happy you had that solo retreat with your parents – they must have loved it, too! Chat soon.
Elisabeth
Sounds like a wonderful summer and early fall. Being close to your grandbabies is delightful!
Looking forward to catching up when you’re back in Nova Scotia.
Stephany
Your solo retreat sounds amazing! And to have all of that one-on-one time with your parents? How special! I am really glad you gave yourself that time to get away.
Last week was FILLED with so many happy things for me: an unexpected raise at work, getting my third tattoo, a really fun book club experience making pottery, and a fun night out with my mom.
Elisabeth
YES! It was so special and I know I’ll treasure memories of this week forever.
What a great week – and I know the raise thing was frustrating because of what happened earlier in the month, so to get an unexpected raise feels redemptive!
coco
i love posts about happy things. life is beautiful when we pay attention. it’s a reminder of being mindful and grateful of small things.
latest happy thing for me: realizing the second day at Chicago after catching up with sleep, that I am staying a perfect place, near to all my favorite shops.
Elisabeth
I’m so glad you’re settling in ahead of the marathon! Enjoy the time leading up to the big day.
Anne
Elisabeth, a late comment to say I don’t know what to say, but I am so glad you are back and I am so sorry I have been so absent. Love your new blog.
Elisabeth
Aww. Thanks <3 I'm glad to be back.