Gretchen Rubin once said: You can choose what you do but you can’t choose what you like to do.
Sing it, Gretchen.
So here, in no particular order, are things I wish I liked (or loved).
- Spicy food. I manage to hobble through life avoiding spice – I’m talking heat, not flavour – but occasionally the only thing on offer is spicy and it makes me miserable. It also feels like bring-your-own-Sriracha/(insert other specialty hot sauce) has become a cultural phenomenon – one in which I can’t participate, leading to some version of #FOMO.
- Mornings. I am not a morning person. I can interact with people and get things done (with kids early mornings are unavoidable). But I wish I was the sort of person who could leap from bed singing the Newsies soundtrack and rush to embrace the day. In reality, I’m more of the swing-one-creaking-leg-over-the-edge-of-the-bed-at-a-time-while-moaning sort of morning person.
- Pets. Hear me out all you dog and cat lovers. My mother was, and still is, terrified of dogs. Some of my earliest memories are of my mother avoiding and/or actively running/biking away from dogs. I’m also allergic to cats and dogs (with fur). So the fact that I tolerate (and even like) most dogs is a huge leap forward. But I wish I loved them. And it’s not just dogs, I feel very meh about pets in general.
- Sweating. I actually know people who enjoy sweating. I loathe it. And I almost always end up cold after I’ve been sweating. Ick.
- Rollercoasters. There is a hit of adrenaline, but I’d rather stay on terra firma.
- Classical music. I like classical music, but I wish I loved it. I feel so out of place when I look around at a concert and see people with their eyes closed in this trance-like state; I’m more likely to be thinking about my grocery list than paying attention to the music. I often put on classical playlists when I’m working, but aside from Beethoven’s Symphony No.7 in A major op.92 – II, Allegretto, which I enjoy immensely, it’s mostly tolerably pleasant background noise to me. (I do love lyrical music, though.)
- Winter. No matter how I approach this subject…I don’t like winter. I’m well aware of the fun of sledding and skiing and skating. I still don’t like winter. Do I try to make the most out of it? Yes. But it all happens through gritted, chattering teeth.
- Home renovations. One acquaintance actively looks for areas in her home to have renovated (she does outsource everything, but loves the whole process -from planning through to having contractors at her house for months on end). Another friend will randomly text that she decided to paint a room over the weekend – like this is NO BIG DEAL. To someone like me THIS IS A VERY BIG DEAL. I dislike every aspect of renovations – DIY or not. I can’t paint or use an electric drill properly and I can barely manage to hang a picture on the wall. But I also stress when someone else is in my house painting or hammering. Sigh.
- Fresh flowers. I love the idea of fresh flowers but they always strike me as depressing in my own home. When I receive flowers I see another living thing I have to keep alive (I already have this responsibility with children!) that will inevitably die which means these flowers are a waste of money. (I do like plants, though, and seem to have good success keeping them alive by only watering once every 2 weeks – it’s my only “secret” and may have more to do with good luck than anything.)
- Big groups. I’m introverted and wish I didn’t feel so ill at ease in most groups bigger than 2-3 people.
Sometimes it makes sense to work on certain areas of our personalities so they become more tolerable, but Gretchen Rubin’s right: generally, I can’t choose the things I like to do.
This means I’ll have to accept I’m unlikely to become a dog-walking, rollercoaster-riding, paint-brush-wielding gardener in my retirement years.
And that’s totally okay, right?
Your turn. Anything you wish you liked (or loved). Do you love fresh flowers, winter, home renos, and spicy food? Please tell me someone else dislikes sweating and mornings?!
Header photo by Uljana Borodina on Unsplash
Tobia | craftaliciousme
High five for not liking to sweat. Is this the main reason I am not getting into exercise? Also not a pet fan. Scared of dogs. Cats from afar are ok. I like looking at turtles though. And cows have amazing eyes. I love watching otters or squirrels but I wouldn’t want them as a pet.
Not a fan of spicy food either. Mornings are okayish if I am on my own and can do my own pace.
Fresh flowers though make me happy. But I. rarely treat myself to them.
Elisabeth
Agreed on the cow eyes!
Yes to mornings being okay if I’m on my own and can move at my own pace; that rarely happens.
sarah
I DO like spicy food and winter and sometimes I like to sweat– like if I have had a super good workout. But I am generally with you on this one.
Elisabeth
And I thought we were FRIENDS, Sarah. And then you betray me with this winter comment. I can overlook the spice and even the sweat. But liking winter. This is a step too far…(secretly I’m 100% jealous because I wish I loved winter; how do you do it??????!!!! It’s so cold and bleak and icy and the kids need so many layers)!
Kyria @ Travel Spot
What a fine life, carrying the banner through it aaaalllll! That is exactly how I jump out of bed. Oh, I had the biggest crush on Christian Bale then! That newsboy cap…sigh. As you know, I am a morning person. It is 4:14 am as I type this. I am not a late night person, but that is okay, as I did all that when I was younger. I used to be able to work from 1 pm – 10 pm, go out afterward (what!), come home at…1 am, and get up and get to class by 7 am. Ah, the energy of youth is wasted on the young people. I did not know how good I had it.
I love spicy food, don’t sweat much but don’t love it if I do, am good at home renovations but do not like them (I will paint the house when I sell it, thankyouverymuch), can tolerate winter but prefer summer and am with you re big groups.
Elisabeth
Sigh. This is not me. How I WISH IT WAS ME. (Newsies is great, eh. It was the second show I saw on Broadway and it was I.N.C.R.E.D.I.B.L.E).
“Ah, the energy of youth is wasted on the young people”. Hahaha.
Jan Coates
I’m guessing your kids aren’t happy about the pet one? You know I’m a dog LOVER, of course:) There are certain people I wish I enjoyed more than I do (you’re not one of them:)
Elisabeth
My kids are really “pet” people either thought my husband LOVES cats and we would almost certainly have one if I wasn’t allergic.
It takes all kinds, but I think having a dog to curl up with at the end of a long day sounds delightful, I just don’t want any of the work involved – vets, walking, grooming. I’m rather lazy, I think!
Jenny
We definitely agree on some things- winter, home renovations, and fresh flowers. Every time someone gives me flowers, I immediately imagine how they’ll look when they’re dying and I have to dispose of them. You know I like pets, but I’ll agree with you on the dog one. I love other people’s dogs, but I’m not on board with all the extra work involved.
I can think of one thing immediately that I wish I liked- coffee. It sounds so good! Everyone else loves it! But I just don’t like the taste. Even if I try to dilute it with milk and sweetener, it still tastes like coffee, yuck. I definitely have FOMO on all the fancy coffee drinks this time of year.
Elisabeth
Ohhh. I USED to feel this way about coffee and now I love it (but I like flavoured creamer, so it’s not exactly the “healthiest” treat…soooo good, and I’ve really come to enjoy coffee flavour).
NGS
No to cut flowers. They’re not even ALIVE. Someone has gifted you with DEAD things. That seems…rude.
I do not like mornings, either, but I do love my dog (I KNOW) and I love that she’s waiting for me to walk her in the mornings, so it makes everything so much easier in terms of getting out of bed. I know I’ll be around this cheerful presence who is having one of the best parts of her day, so mornings are like a billion times better with a dog. They’re also about half an hour earlier, but let’s not get picky. I know you’re meh on pets and I get it, but having a dog has made my mornings so much happier. If only the dog or the cat could somehow make exercise better.
Elisabeth
How rude indeed! They are dead. And I just feel like fresh flowers wilt so fast in my house.
I mean, you do a lot of walking with Hannah so I feel like she does help on the exercise front? At least a little?! I have kids that complain about walking and you have a dog that (mostly, statues aside) loves it!
Colleen Martin
I agree with LOTS of these except the sweating one, kinda. Like nobody wants a hot day where they are just sweating, but I LOVE a good sweat session while working out and then a nice shower after. It feels so good to me!
Elisabeth
Okay, showering after sweating does feel good – I’ll give you partial points on that one! I still dislike the sensation enough to not like it, but I DO love the shower part 🙂
By loving sweating I mean these crazy people (which, I’ll admit, includes my OWN HUSBAND) who actually enjoy the sensation of sweating. Ugh.
Linda
Hello, I LOVE the freedom to really not like a few things—
**Spicy food—it seems like the default flavor more often than not. I love salt more ( in moderation, obviously).
**Mornings—Love—I worked in a hospital and loved the fresh, clean halls in the early morning and hearing the morning greetings of those coming on duty. Thank God there are evening lovers to enjoy the other end—I also dislike when morning lovers act as if their preference is superior to night owls—the truth is, morning lovers tend to unravel as the night wears on.
**Pets—Being a worrier, I’m a horrible pet owner, but nevertheless, we thoroughly enjoyed raising two Labs and we still miss them every day. However, we remain pet-less and love that freedom.
**Sweating—Ugh.
**Rollercoasters—Living life is risky enough—ditto to all water sports, in facts sports in general—no bungee jumping or sky diving in my future, and thank God there are many sedate hobbies and pastimes such as Scrabble, choral singing and reading.
**Classical Music—I am familiar with a tiny portion of classical music and I do enjoy what I know, but my scope is pretty narrow and I would be one of those fighting sleep at a two-hour concert (or maybe listening to a podcast?)
**Winter—Ugh but I live in a mild climate so I feel for all of you who know what cold really feels like!
**Home renovation—We can handle minor projects but big, bold changes—not for this family.
**Fresh flowers—Like plants, they wilt and die without water and care—oops!
**Big groups—Now that I am retired, I ignore most big groups in favor of one-to-one conversations.
Enjoy your day! Linda
Elisabeth
Oh Linda, we are kindred spirits I see – on all but the topic of mornings.
I also LOVE salt. Yes, please. My favourite ingredient in the kitchen.
“The truth is, morning lovers tend to unravel as the night wears on.” I don’t know what I am. I’m unraveled in the morning, and mostly feel unraveled the whole day. Maybe I’m not a morning or an evening person. I’m an unraveled person – haha!? I think before kids I was kind of a morning person. I woke up around 7 and had time to ease into my day and quite enjoyed having early classes at university. But with kids and the chaos and rush of mornings and So. Much. Noise, I’ve really become anything but a morning person!
I’m also with you on the sports. I dislike sweating, they’re dangerous, and I’m horribly uncoordinated.
ccr in MA
I can NOT handle spicy food! I was at a get-together last night and when told that one item was “a little” spicy, I waited until someone else tried it, and as soon as she said “Wow!” I passed on it. (I thanked her for saving me from it.) I blame my Scandinavian heritage, there’s a lot of white sauces and boiled potatoes back there. I am also not at all a morning person, and although in theory my mother knows this, some days she can be very chatty and all I want is quiet.
Elisabeth
Yes! Spice is very relative. My husband jokes that I find ketchup spicy (NOT TRUE…but it’s not that much of an exaggeration).
Quiet and coffee in the morning – is that too much to ask for?!
J
I’m thinking of all of the money and worry that you are missing out on by not being into pets. Good for you.
I’m a pet person, as you know, but boy, the freedom of not having to worry about them, and the freedom from expense are enjoyable. Like Engie, having a dog to spend my mornings with is really, really nice. They are never grumpy. They want to do whatever you want to do (unless what you want to do is NOT take them for their daily walk).
I’m a morning person, but not sure I always have been. I used to love sleeping in, but as I’ve gotten older, it’s harder for my body to do that. I wake up, and more times than not, that’s it, time to get up. Blah. Not fair, my daughter is an adult, I work from home, I have no responsibilities before my work day starts. I could technically sleep until about 7:55 and be at my desk with a cup of tea at 8:00. Instead, I’m up at 5:15, no alarm needed. It’s stupid. I’ve always liked the freshness of the morning though, and I do poop out pretty early in the evenings.
Elisabeth
I CANNOT get over how much pets can cost. Yikes. Surgeries and shots and all sorts of other challenges. Also, we travel quite a bit, so finding someone to watch a dog would be a lot of hassle. That said, I’m sure it would be a net positive for our family, but we’ve left well enough alone and I don’t see us getting a family pet any time soon. Though the thought of having someone that can never truly be grumpy with me sounds divine.
J
Yes, we will be paying off Mulder’s chemo until June I think. And my cousin just had to have her sweet dog put to sleep, after more than $3,000 worth of tests. I feel about pets like I do about kids. If you don’t REALLY ACTIVELY NEED ONE, don’t do it. Your house will be cleaner, your life will be quieter, you will have more money.
Some people just REALLY ACTIVELY NEED kids or pets or both. God help us.
Elisabeth
Great points. I think it’s hard to know ahead of time, though, how you’ll feel? I know many people who were desperate to have/avoid having children and then found the ultimate reality (either having kids or not) to be very different from what they imagined?
I think we would fall head over heels for a pet, but I also know that I’d struggle with spending all that money and I would also end up doing most of the work in terms of care. All that to say – there will be no dogs or cats in the forseeable future.
Suzanne
I hate sweating. What a horrific feeling. I think maybe that’s one of the reasons I love winter so much — no chance of sweating! I also hate rollercoasters. They combine so many things I am averse to: germs, lots of people, danger. No thank you!
I do love spicy foods (and hot sauce) and fresh flowers, though!
Elisabeth
I wish I could find the “no sweating” bit as a silver lining in winter, but that is taking optimism too far even for this website. Oh how I wish I loved winter.
I’d never thought about rollercoasters and germs but – obviously! And probably some barf and urine, too? Ugh. Additional reasons to avoid!
I know you love spice and flowers, which is delightful for you. I really do wish I loved spicy things…but I do like tomatoes, eggs, and oatmeal, and I know those things turn up regularly for you, so we all have our cross to bear in life, I suppose 🙂
Erin R
I was going to write something similar!! I am DEEPLY grateful that I don’t want a pet. I don’t hate cats/dogs but I definitely don’t love them and I know I’d be so frustrated by the money. I know I’d love them – I did grow up with dogs, and really like the dogs my parents have had (but I think that’s because my dad is a wizard at training dogs) but I could not tolerate the cost, mess, and restrictions on travel/even staying late at work. 1/3 of my children would love a dog but alas, he’ll have to wait until adulthood!
Beckett @ Birchwood Pie
What can I say besides:
– As someone who loves spicy food and has a family who doesn’t ==> I wish I could eat meal after meal of bland food;-) I also wish that there was a magic button we could push that would get everyone’s desired meal in front of them in an instant so that we could just enjoy dinner together without all of the drama.
– I used to be Team Mornings but that was when I didn’t have to be at work until 9. Now that I start work at 8 mornings suck.
– Allergies are always a deal breaker. It’s wicked unfair that my stepsons love cats and they’re both allergic so they can’t be around them.
– I’ve never gone on a rollercoaster and I never will.
– WINTER SUCKS
– I’ve been actively avoiding a kitchen renovation for as long as I’ve lived in this house.
I can accept all of these things.
Elisabeth
I will take one of those magic buttons, please!
WINTER SUCKS. You are the voice of reason, today! Yes, WINTER SUCKS. There is almost nothing redeemable about the season.
Suzanne
Yes. Barf and urine. Probably boogers as well.
You can have ALL the tomatoes and most of the eggs and I’ll take the spicy food and flowers. 🙂 And snow!!!!
Elisabeth
Deal. Wouldn’t life be easier if we could mix and match and share our favourite/least favourite features of things? Wistful sigh. I would give you ALL my snow and take ALL of your eggs.
Rachel
I am so with you on plants and pets!! I really dislike getting flowers as it seems like another thing in my house I have to care for. The only exception is sunflowers, which I like because they’re really easy to throw away. Beautiful flower arrangements just stress me out.
I am not a dog person and I feel like that’s not ok in todays world. I don’t know how to read dogs and am generally a bit fearful and somehow that’s my fault for being afraid of dogs? There are lots of poorly trained dogs where I live and I often tell people I’m afraid of dogs if their dog is running at me, and people will usually reply “oh he’s friendly he’s just saying hello!” As if that will somehow make me not afraid of dogs.
Elisabeth
I see flowers as an aspirational thing; I like the THOUGHT of being someone with fresh flowers in her house, but don’t actually want to have flowers in my house.
Your entire paragraph about dogs = me. A few months ago a dog, very dirty, and off leash ran at me and jumped all over my very nice coat (with very muddy paws) and his owner was laughing about it. Gah! Voice command or leash, please!!!
Kate
I’m on board with some of your list (pets, winter, home renovations, mornings) but I LOVE rollercoasters, moderately spicy food (I can tolerate a little more spice than my husband can, which we discovered while we were dating and had to order our spice according to scale at Thai restaurants!), classical music and fresh flowers. Part of the appeal of flowers to me is their transient nature. However, I never buy them for myself for that reason.
I can’t stand tomato juice or tomato soup. I WANT to like Bloody Marys but there’s some sort of aftertaste with tomato juice I just can’t stomach. (I like actual tomatoes, marinara sauce, and ketchup just fine!) And I don’t like turkey deli meat, but like actual roasted turkey. Bizarre…
Elisabeth
Good point about flowers – at least you know you won’t have to care for them forever.
Like you I love tomatoes and tomato-based things but it’s a HARD pass from me on tomato juice and tomato soup. Like every decade I might have one bowl of tomato soup and that is more than enough for me. I also don’t like turkey deli meat but LOVE roasted turkey!
Nicole MacPherson
This is so fascinating to me because almost everything on your list is something that *I* like! Isn’t that funny? And yet I don’t think of us as being opposites at all. AND YET HERE WE ARE.
I don’t think there’s anything in particular I wish I liked, although there are many things I don’t like. I’ll have to give it some thought. I’ll get back to you!
Elisabeth
HERE WE ARE INDEED. You like mornings and splash water on your face with a devil-may-care attitude that I will never be able to replicate. The same but also very, very different.
Maybe it’s a case of opposites attracting?
San
I agree, sometimes we have to accept that certain things are just not for us – as much as we’d like to love them.
You should see me after a Peloton workout, I am a sweaty mess (my clothes are literally soaking wet like I stepped out of the shower) and during the workout I don’t mind the sweat, but I have to get in the shower right after because I get cold so fast!
Also, you probably think that I love mornings (and I generally love being up early and getting my workout done in the morning and having the whole day in front of me), but I actively dislike the getting up part. It’s so hard to get out from under my cozy blanket every single day. 😉
I love winter, but only if I don’t have to work and can head out for a day of skiing (with sunny skies!) or something. Otherwise, I am good without snow and ice for sure (and I am really glad we almost never get below freezing temperatures where I live). I loathe being cold.
I am with you on the bigger groups – I am just not comfortable and usually retreat in the proverbial corner (unless it’s a group of people I really know well, but when does that happen these days?). I wish our little blogging group could meet up though, I think that would be fun.
Elisabeth
I think I hate sweating most because I equate it with getting cold!
It would be SO fun to have a little blogger meetup. #Goals
Joy
I’m with you on half:
I don’t like spicy food, roller coasters, or home renovations, and I passionately hate to sweat!
I like winter better than summer because I like coziness and hate sweating (see above), but give me spring and autumn every time.
Elisabeth
I do like coziness I just find it so hard to stay cozy all day every day for the entire winter (which is what I want).
Fall is my happiest time of year. I just love everything about that season…expect how quickly it seems to pass us by here in the Canadian East. I’d love months (and months) of the crisp mornings and warm afternoons.
Joy
Yes to Fall! My very favorite time of year. I agree that’s far too short.
Ernie
I’m on the same page as you for most of these. I do like dogs, but I am allergic. I desipise winter, but I tolerate it. I dislike spicy food. I am OK with mornings. I get up early most days regardless of whether or not I want to. I workout early and I LOVE getting that done early. I also don’t mind getting sweaty because then I know I’ve had a good workout.
Erica
Totally agree with so many of these:
– Spicy food – I cannot handle it. There are entire cuisines I can’t eat for this reason, and it would be nice to be able to enjoy these foods. I have been told that my palette is unsophisticated but despite my usual facility with guilt I am hard-pressed to feel bad about myself for this.
– Mornings – agree, they are no good. I am still in the little-kid phase of things, which doesn’t help. Maybe I will like mornings better when my kids are old enough to make and bring me coffee.
– Sweating – who likes this? It’s gross. I mean, I see that it’s a useful adaptation, at least in climates where the humidity is ever less than 100%, but it’s still gross. I do like exercise, apart from the sweat.
– Roller coasters – I want to be the cool mom who likes these, but I’m not.
– Fresh flowers – 100% agree. When someone is giving you flowers, they are giving you a homework assignment: “take care of these slowly dying things, and also make sure you look at them and appreciate them before they die”. They are giving you work *and* guilt. It’s like those pretty jars of layered baking mix to which you need to add half a dozen ingredients in order to make junk food that you didn’t choose for yourself.
– Big groups – these are in the same category as sweat. I see that they have a purpose, but it’s purely theoretical.
Elisabeth
I love everything about this comment and clearly we are ON THE SAME PAGE!!!
“Big groups – these are in the same category as sweat. I see that they have a purpose, but it’s purely theoretical.” Haha! This made me laugh; also, AGREED!
I also feel guilt over almost everything and definitely DON’T feel guilty about the spice issue, but it is quite annoying in terms of eating out/visiting places where spice is a thing. Oh well. I have survived this long and figure I’ll continue managing it okay.
People do like sweating. Crazy, right?
And I don’t think I’ve ever thought of flowers as “homework” but you are 100% right. I will be using this comparison moving forward. And ditto on the layered baking mixes.
Elinoora
I don’t mind sweat so much, but I HATE the tomato shade face that comes with it, and that takes forever to disappear. I don’t need the whole world to know that I exercised!
I also wish I could like coffee, but I’ve accepted that it’s unlike to happen. I’ll just have tea instead.
Sometimes I wish I was more of an entrepreneur. I could act that way, but it would take a lot more energy. Sometimes though…
Elisabeth
YES! I go bright red when I exercise and people sometimes think I’m like ill. Nope, this is just how my face looks after exercise!!
Lisa's Yarns
I’m not a pet person either and I am really not a dog person. I know that will offend/upset some but I have never been super comfortable around them and many dog owners assume you like dogs. They kind of terrify me although I’ve worked through that a bit since some friends do have dogs.
Do I love fresh flowers, winter, home renos, and spicy food? I’m ambivalent about fresh flowers. They are fine? I wouldn’t spend money on them. I tolerate winter but am very ready for it to be over by Feb. I loathe home renos. That’s why it took so long to find out house – neither of us was willing to do renos. And I do like spicy food but like a 3 out of 5 on the spice scale. I don’t like siracha and I wouldn’t like eat a raw jalapeno. But I like some spice!
Anne
Rollercoasters, (mildly) spicy, mornings, dogs, (occasionally small parts of) winter… Oh, Elisabeth. Is this a case of opposites attracting? 😉
I have never and will never be a “gift” person, whether it is flowers (Mainly because I then need to DO something with the flowers, which means it’s a gift that = work for the recipient. Um, what?) or something else. Let’s go do something, or spend time just hanging out. But the gift thing has never been something I’ve really liked.
Stephany
We have a lot of similarities here AND some key differences: No to spicy food, mornings, rollercoasters, and big groups.
I do love fresh flowers, although it’s tricky to have them with cats around. So many of them are toxic to cats! And, of course, I love pets. Pets > people. But I also respect that not everyone like pets and I don’t need other people to love mine.