I have been thinking a lot about rhythms (I continue to misspell this word at least 90% of the time; why is it so hard?) and routines lately. Maybe it’s my sudden interest in the concept of the Sabbath – the original rhythm that has defined the work/rest cycle of an entire nation for millennia.
I also feel like my soul craves these repeated activities; they provide a sense of security – a place to land at the end of a busy day, week, or season.
Here are some favourite rhythms and routines our family has been leaning into this winter.
Candles. This will come as a surprise to no one, but perhaps my favourite routine is lighting candles each evening before our supper meal. We dim overhead fixtures so the flickering glow provides most of the light in the room. There are still sibling squabbles many (let’s be honest – most) evenings, but I think we all take a deep breath and sink into the evening and meal in a different way. It’s dark and cold outside, and this little action – done daily – is a sort of beacon. We’ve done it! We’ve survived work and school and all the responsibilities of life! Gold stars to us.
Turning on ambient lighting and closing curtains. If candles set the stage for our meal, closing the blinds and turning on lamps and twinkle lights feels like a way of tucking our home in for the night. We turn on exterior lights, too, in a nod to making passersby feel more settled and secure as they drive by in the dark winter.
Hot cocoa after school. I’m not sure when this routine started, but it is now a much-beloved habit. At least four days a week – sometimes more – the kids arrive home from school, unpack their lunchboxes (with several reminders to do so), and make themselves hot cocoa. Preparing it themselves is a new development and one I heartily approve of; the milk frother makes many appearances. Marshmallows are usually involved. We sit at the table and they sip and talk and this daily dose of dairy and sugar is very much enjoyed. Something about doing it regularly seems to elevate the experience.
Reading my Bible/The Bible Recap. First I read my Bible…and then I enjoy my cup of coffee.
Coffee (mostly decaf) every day. Drinking a cup daily is just…lovely. I often use my Yeti; if I leave the lid off it’s the perfect temperature in 30 minutes; if I put the lid on it’s the perfect temperature in 60 minutes.
Daily yoga. You’ve heard about this ad nauseam, but I have loved having a daily practice so far in 2024. I don’t plan to do it daily the whole year, but I hope this inspires me to be far more intentional with stretching activities!
Laundry. As referenced yesterday, I have another new laundry routine. I know. I am forever changing things up and part of me thinks it’s silly that every 6 months I change how I do things (or in this case, I think it was 2 months). But life constantly changes, so why shouldn’t my habits? Also, a lot of the time a change really is as good as a rest.
Years ago, when I was waiting for the kids to come out from school one day, another mom mentioned how she keeps a laundry basket in every room in her house. She washes the contents of each basket – and that basket only. She had one in the kitchen for rags and kitchen towels. One in each bedroom and bathroom. I thought this sounded utterly ridiculous. At the time we were a one-basket family – everything dumped in at once, regardless of colour. When that basket was full, it was time to do laundry. I should also add I hated – hated! – doing laundry. I should know by now that anytime I write something off as ridiculous, it’s guaranteed to reenter my life.
Now we have three baskets in our house. One in each child’s room and one in the master bedroom. I love it. No more sorting out socks and making piles for each child. After a wash, all the dried contents of that load belong in one space. By way of a rhythm, I’m doing the kids’ laundry once every 5-6 days and adult clothes + other household items every 3-4. I am doing less laundry overall. I mostly wash clothes in the evening and put them in the dryer overnight, fluffing and putting them away the next day (or, if it’s a kid load, having them put it away).
Daily reading for the kids. Most days now, while I finish prepping supper, I have the kids do thirty minutes of reading. I was tired of trying to carve this time out before bed and now they have a distinct cutoff – supper. Sometimes they read together, sometimes seperately in their rooms…and sometimes in laundry baskets on the couch.
Bible reading at bedtime with the kids. Both kids have wanted to do more Bible reading with me. Who am I to say no? L and I are going through The Action Bible which is written like a comic strip and is very engaging and fun. A wanted nothing to do with “kid Bibles” so we are starting in the New Testament and taking turns reading a chapter out loud each night. And then we are having tough conversations. Sometimes I have to admit I don’t have the answers to her questions, but I love that our kids get to live out their faith in action and have a safe space to voice their feelings and doubts. It’s also REALLY fun to bring in my new perspectives since I’m reading through the Bible chronologically. If this seems like a lot of Bible reading, this new evening routine was 100% instigated by the kids. And there is more…
We are also watching Bible Project videos after supper a few evenings a week which they LOVE. These are beautifully animated hand drawings that are hard to describe but offer unique summaries of Biblical themes, stories, or entire books of the Bible.
Small changes I am loving.
- Buying covered garbage cans. I hate seeing garbage inside garbage cans and it makes me unbelievably happy to have lidded garbage cans in both bathrooms now.
- Writing one entry per week into L’s reading log. I think reading logs can really suck the fun out of reading. I went through this with A when she was in elementary and I’m going through it now with L and I have decided to once again take a stand. We are not going to list dates and titles and pages read. He is reading and engaged and we just want to read and not fill out little boxes. I have nothing against this system and I’m sure it works well for some parents/kids, but it was negatively impacting our desire to work on independent reading. I suspect he will still be able to get into university despite not completing a daily reading log (I did).
- Making a new meal each evening. I used to make a meal and then we’d eat the leftovers the following night. Lately, I’ve been trying to make at least 4 “new” meals a week and then we have leftovers that spill over into the weekend which is just amazing!
- Our Valentine’s mantle. Monday (which ended up being a snow day), I set out a few Valentine’s items hoping A would take the hint and transform the mantle for me. She did and we have moved firmly out of “Christmas” territory and into “Valentine’s.” Last year I used these things for our basement tree but since that came down right after the holidays this year, I needed somewhere to display our heart decor. It’s fun and festive and I am still LOVING having twinkle lights up in our living room.
Your turn. I want to hear all about your routines, rhythms, and little changes you’re loving. How many loads of laundry do you do a week? Do you use candles and twinkle lights in the dark days of winter?
Header photo by Hanna Balan on Unsplash
Coree
I love hearing what is working for different families and structures. I have a catchall laundry basket downstairs which really helps for dishtowels, the random socks that get taken off downstairs, swim stuff, etc. I have one of those hanging things (used for tights drying) and I put the dishtowels etc on there before they go in the basket/wash so they don’t get buried and musty. We don’t use paper towels so we go through 2-3 a day.
We seem to do loads of laundry though – probably a load every day? We change sheets weekly though, and towels every 4 days or so, and have a tiny European washing machine. I’m looking forward to this weather brightening up so we can put things out on the line.
Elisabeth
We have a big washing machine and, well, since I’m airing dirty laundry I will once again admit that I don’t change sheets even close to weekly. I know, I know. It’s disgraceful.
Kyria @ Travel Spot
Time to talk laundry! Clearly your laundry situation and mine are very different! I do one load of laundry per week and sometimes two if I am going to do a big load of bedding. However, when I do bedding I do not wash all blankets; I do sheets regularly and blankets maybe once every 3-6 months. My weekly laundry is not always a huge load as I basically wear either work clothes (one pair of black slacks and 3-4 tops), workout clothes (3-5 outfits, but these are small) and a sweatpant/PJ/indoor outfit (this is a combo). I don’t really go outside that often in non work or workout clothes, I guess! I am like Coree and do not use paper towels, so I also have several kitchen towels and my set of bathroom towels, which I wash once per week. I live a simple life, Elisabeth 🙂
I love your Valentine mantel and am completely on board with the hot cocoa tradition. We used to have hot cocoa on winter days too when I was growing up and the key thing for me was the whipped cream! My Dad is a fan of whipped cream and he instilled a love of it into us kids and I could put 10 helpings of it on my cocoa and not even get to the bottom of the cup (I mean, isn’t that what cocoa is? A vehicle for whipped cream?)
Elisabeth
Aww. What a sweet hot cocoa tradition. We don’t ever have whipped cream in the house (J and I are both lactose intolerant), but I can GUARANTEE my kids could get behind whipped cream on their cocoa. I refuse to tell them people do this or they will be ruined forever on just “plain cocoa.”
Jan Coates
Nice candlesticks! I always forget about candles, but I do love them when I remember. One of the few things I like about winter/early darkness. And we’ve always had our own laundry baskets, both when the kids were in middle school and now, when it’s just the two of us. L & A will be doing their own laundry before you know it:)
Elisabeth
Yes – my plan is to have A start doing her own laundry after her 13th birthday (in March). We’ll see how that goes over.
I love candles, but mostly just stick to the tapers. I know some people have candles scattered all over in their house and I love the aesthetic (and smell if they’re scented), but I worry I’d be forgetful and leave them burning. Thankfully, part of our tradition is blowing the candles out when we’re finished with the meal. The fire martial would be very happy 🙂
Nicole MacPherson
Well, this was such a cozy, lovely thing to open up this morning! I love it all. We also have a laundry basket in each room, and R and I have separate laundry baskets. So, I guess we have four. It’s just so easy for everyone to pop their dirty clothes into.
The Action Bible – what a great way to read the stories of the Bible! I mostly remember reading the Biblical Little Golden Books when I was a kid, and I had a children’s stories of the Bible collection.
I love the Valentine’s mantle! This whole post is just hygge to the max.
Elisabeth
Ah. I do love hygge so that is the highest of compliments, Nicole <3
Michelle
What wonderful, cozy things on your list! I love your photos, especially the hot chocolate one! I’ve never actually thought about covered garbage cans. Interesting. Am I going to obsess about it now? Probably!
Elisabeth
It really is a game changer, Michelle. I don’t know why, but the instant the first piece of garbage goes into the can it feels so messy to me. We now have three lidded cans (one in each upstairs bathroom and one in our laundry room) and it is just a little change that, for me at least, makes a big difference.
Sarah Jedd
So cozy and the vday mantle is my favorite.
Elisabeth
I am loving the mantle – we’ve never kept the faux evergreen up this long in the living room, but so far I’m a big fan <3
NGS
The change I’ve made to our evening routine is that after dinner, I do Duolingo and then I walk the dog. Then I start the process of getting ready for bed. I’ve always been trying to get to bed before ten, but if I don’t walk the dog until 8:30, then it was frequently 10:15-10:30 before I’d get into bed and 11 before I turned off the lights. Since I get up at 5:30, this was not enough sleep. So the dog gets walked between 7:30-8 and I am now getting to bed reliably by 10 and I’m so exhausted that I usually fall asleep right away.
We have laundry baskets in our downstairs bathroom where we shower and in our master bedroom. I am considering getting something for collecting kitchen towels, though, because we use approximately a million a day and it’s annoying to have to walk them into the bathroom multiple times a day. Hmmm…organizational food for thought.
Elisabeth
I love going to bed tired enough that I fall asleep IMMEDIATELY. Such a good feeling.
That is a lot of kitchen towels a day! Could be under a cabinet and a small plastic tote?
Kristin W
We are a family of 4 with 4 hampers (dirty clothes) and 4 laundry baskets (clean clothes). This way everyone knows which clothes are clean and which are dirty. My kids, 7 and 9, do their own laundry, but it still takes lots of prompting on our part, even if they are physically doing it themselves. Our washer and dryer have a “favorites” button so I set that to what I want them to use and we use the laundry sheets, so there is no pouring. I still have to mindful of stained items etc, but their clothes are all easy care items. Also since clean clothes are always in the baskets, (here’s my dirty laundry) it’s not a big deal if we never get around to folding. I do all our sheets and towels on alternating weekends, and getting everyone two sets of towels/sheets was revolutionary as I could take the sheets off and make up the bed right away (and didn’t have to stay up waiting for a forgotten load to finish). I will say I’m not as regular with washing the kids’ sheets as one child in particular has SO MANY STUFFED ANIMALS, making the entire process painful.
Elisabeth
Ohhh. That is smart to have hampers vs. baskets for dirty vs. clean.
We also have a stuffed animal fanatic and it really does make changing sheets a nuisance. I try to quietly put them up in the closet…and then they magically reappear.
I’m hoping to set my 12-year-old up doing her laundry once she turns 13.
Katie
I’m a big fan of different week night dinners! 🙂
I do 2 loads of clothes a week (me+ 2 kids) + 1 load of either sheets and/or towels.. sometimes 2. But my husband does his own laundry and he probably does about 2 loads!
My biggest rituals right now are starting the morning with a glass of cold ice water and doing a little (key word… little) cold exposure in the shower every morning.
Elisabeth
You are brave! I went through a phase of taking cold showers and I’m just not sure if I could ever go back. I worked up to five minutes, but it was torture. I did have more energy but as someone who “runs cold” it was tough. Go you!!!
Jenny
I still have twinkle lights up, but haven’t put out Valentines stuff yet. But you’re inspiring me! It looks festive.
So, laundry. When my son was home, I did a load of laundry every day. I just threw in a mix of everything- everyone’s clothes, bathroom towels, kitchen towels, napkins… it actually worked pretty well. Now that he’s not here, I can skip a day here and there. I probably do four loads of laundry a week? It depends on what’s going on (like did I change anyone’s sheets, etc.) It works pretty well, but i’m intrigued by your method! I like how easy it would be to do the putting-away, rather than having to separate each person’s clothes from each other, and towels, etc. I’ll have to think about this!
Elisabeth
It’s all about making it easier to put away which is my least favourite part. Having one single laundry hamper (like we used to) was fine for DOING the laundry (I don’t separate much of anything and we buy very few light clothes), but it made putting it away such a headache. It’s not a painless process this way, but it’s a lot better.
Lindsay
The Mr and I share a laundry basket, Lil Momma has her own, and we have one in our full bath. The Mr spearheads laundry (amongst other things – we try to manage where our natural abilities sit, haha!) and each week does one load of things-that-aren’t-dried (leotards, bras, workout clothes), a load for him and I (unless my return to office unbalances this), and then the rest of LM’s stuff. Towels and sheets happen in there somewhere.
I am working on some rituals (since I can’t spell rhythms) both for myself when I get up and when I get ready for bed and then for all of us (board games to fight the Sunday scaries, making complicated meals on the weekend, Lil Momma and I passing a journal back and forth) to help find more joy and presence in these moments…
Elisabeth
Rhythms is SUCH a hard word. Rituals works even better.
That’s very smart to have a load of things that are all air-dried! Genius.
Oh! I did the journal back and forth thing a few years ago with my daughter. It was great. I should start that habit again; thanks for reminding me.
coco
Love hearing about your routines and laundry hack which we use too. Fortunately we have a helper 5 times a week so she does all the laundry, daily except weekends. She also change our sheets every Friday.
Routines that I enjoy: my morning quiet time in the dark, meditation on the floor, 15 min walk to/from office to prepare the switch, bed time routine with the girls asking each other about our day, Sunday afternoon massage in my bed.
I love the idea of preparing new dinner most of nights. I’ll see if we can try few days a week too.
Elisabeth
Having a (full-time?) helper helper sounds…AMAZING!
Gigi
Different seasons of our lives call for different routines. This is why many of our routines evolve over time.
Back before the pandemic hit; I did laundry once a week during the weekend and I hated it. HATED it. Then, when we all stayed home and didn’t yet know how the virus was being transmitted, I was washing everything every day. Which made me hate it a *little* less because it was such a quick chore to fold and put everything away. Now, I wash at least two or three times a week and I don’t mind laundry so much anymore. I think it was just the thought of giant loads (usually multiple loads, clothes/towels/bedding/etc.) to be folded during the two, precious days away from work made me loathe the chore.
Elisabeth
I agree that spreading out laundry makes it more tolerable. Doing it all on the weekend is the pits (I try to have everything up-to-date by Friday so I can avoid doing it on the weekend; doesn’t always work, but mostly! Come Monday, there is laundry to be done, though.
Speaking of which, my master bedroom basket is nearly overflowing. Time to do a load!
Maria
We have a lot of laundry baskets. One in our room, one in the kids’ room, one in the kitchen, and then the cloth diaper laundry. Bath towels end up in the bedroom baskets usually . We do SO much laundry it feels like – 3 kids aged almost 4, almost 2, and 2 month generate a lot of laundry.
I love all the Bible reading you and the kids are doing! I’m trying to increase my consistency at Bible reading but it’s a struggle. I also want to start regularly reading it with the kids and again it’s a struggle. We’ve finally gotten consistent at family bedtime prayers at least.
I’m trying in general to get some new rhythms and routines going overall in our house as we adjust to having three kiddos.
Thanks by the way by the way for the comment on my blog last week! I need to go approve it and reply 😉
Elisabeth
I just commented on your new post! The difference between deliveries in the US vs. Canada is quite large, especially price wise!
Adding a new baby in the mix is a big change. I really struggled with the infancy stage and basically could barely get myself fed let along think about doing anything routinely!
J
Your rhythms are lovely. Why isn’t there an ‘e’ in rhythm? It’s awkward. Who do we blame for this, the Germans, the French, or the ancient Italians?
I like that you and your daughter have difficult discussions around your Bible reading. I am not religious, but some of my very best friends are, and they are all intellectually curious and do the same thing. I think all forms of authority, be it religion, government, etc. needs some examination for a better understanding.
I love your Valentine’s mantle, so pretty! We light candles during the winter months, it really makes the house feel cozy.
I’m the opposite of you when it comes to dinner…I’ve always made a different meal every night, and am now trying to incorporate more leftovers. Though to be fair I often do this by freezing them, so we don’t eat them two days in a row usually.
Laundry…I tend to re-wear things, jeans and sweaters especially. Light weight tops that don’t get a lot of wear and tear, I will wear once. I don’t wash my jammies every day, or my yoga/walking clothes. But my daughter washes everything after 1 wearing. It drives me nuts, especially when she only wears it for a couple of hours. So we do too much laundry around here. Working from home means it never builds up, so I don’t dread it at all, it’s fine.
Elisabeth
It is the weirdest spelling, right? Who do we complain to about this!!!?
I’m the same with jeans and sweaters (and dresses). Workout clothes need to be washed after each use generally, but I might wear the same jeans 2-3 times between washes. Isn’t that what they officially recommend anyway?! That’s my excuse…
I also have children that put clothes in the hamper after a few hours. I’m 99% certain it’s because it’s less work than hanging the items back up in the closet, but my blood does start to boil.
Stephany
I’m so glad you’ve found a laundry routine that works for you! I imagine it can be so frustrating to keep up with the laundry for a family of four. Now I’m wondering how my mom did it when I was a kid!
I love your routine of lighting candles when the sun goes down. So cozy!
Elisabeth
The candle thing is just…so cozy and lovely. Big fan!
Lisa's Yarns
That laundry routine sounds great and is something I could see us adapting down the road when the kids are bigger. The bulk of the laundry is definitely the kids’! And it can be tricky to tell the kids laundry apart since Taco isn’t THAT much smaller than Paul!
I’m enjoying my reading rhythms with Paul. We’ve gotten into a routine of reading a chapter book once Taco is in bed. I’ve been so excited to read chapter books w/ him so I’m excited that we are reading books I loved as a kid. I still love picture books, too.
Besides that, I don’t feel like we have much in terms of rhythms! I’m trying to improve our morning routine but it’s an uphill battle w/ how grumpy Taco can be.
Elisabeth
I hate mornings so I’m right there with Taco…
Gah – I miss picture books so much. It was such a big part of my parenting routine. That said, there are perks and it takes a lot fewer trips to the library <3
San
I am all about the ambient light – our apartment is really dark, so I have little lamps and candles everywhere and it definitely makes it feel cozy in the evenings 🙂
You can probably guess that I am very strict about my routines, because they give me structure and comfort throughout the week… I have my workout window in the morning, I can’t wait to reward myself with that delicious first cup of coffee afterward and then in the evening after work, Jon gets out stuff for dinner and I start chopping. I love our kitchen routine (I cook, he does all the clean-up).
Elisabeth
Structure and comfort. Couldn’t say it better myself…
I will say I tend to do most of the cleanup regardless of who cooks…but then John “works” a lot more hours a day than I do. But he always cooks for our date night suppers and I LOVE it.
Tobia | craftaliciousme
Oh this is so fun. It is amazing how routines and habits can give stability. And also how confused one can get when they are gone. I feel like right now I am only having loose routines and that makes me be all over the place.
I usually light a candle when I start my work day. (currently not daily since all my candles are rented and my migraine brain can’t cope daily).
I read with my morning coffee. But my routine of reading tough books and non fictions has been gone and I miss it.
Looks like I need to think more on my routines.
I love your valentine mantel. Looks fun. And how great A got the hint and decorated it.
Elisabeth
I am loving having a tween who can do some of the “fun jobs” that are still “work.” Like decorate. Or a few minutes ago she prepped brownies and hot chocolate and served them to her brother and friends outside playing in the snow. I was going to do it, but she WANTED to. YAY!!!
I never light candles during the day, but I should start. It would be a nice ritual to help settle me into a rhythm.
Anne
I love how most people have focused on the laundry routine/rhythm. 🙂 Mine is completely different because I’m one person and tend to wash things other than sweaters/sweatshirts/jeans each time I wear them. In my defense, my pants are mostly legging-oid and they get stretched out a bit. Wash, dry, done.
I wish I had more… heart-filling rhythms and routines, though. It seems as though you are trying to focus on those (and doing an excellent job of it), whereas mine are more “prep food, clean kitchen, clean bathroom, mini-clean bathroom”, etc. Mundane doesn’t begin to describe them…