One of my favourite ways to prepare a meal – and simultaneously clean out the refrigerator – is to make what our family calls Hodge Podge. I pull together a soup using leftover scraps of veggies; I toast heels of bread, cube up that last chunk of cheese, and plate the final handful of mini carrots.
Supper is served.
This is the equivalent but in blog form. I have some random thoughts and each could technically be an individual post. But I’ve decided to toss three unrelated topics into one space and say: Here’s today’s meal.
I’ve been thinking about the saying Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I realize we could nitpick this topic for a long time. But, let’s just go with our gut instinct here – assuming someone isn’t flagrantly plagiarizing – do you think imitation is the sincerest form of flattery?
Physics tells us that An object at rest tends to stay at rest; an object in motion tends to stay in motion. As I slowly make my way into a Year of Shmita, I keep coming back to this idea of motion. I often feel a bit like a pinball machine. My brain (and sometimes my body) is bouncing wildly around, pinging off the sides of life boundaries. Just when it feels like I’m about ready to fall into relaxation mode – Twing! – a flapper goes rogue and I’m off again, careening back and forth between walls and making wheels spin and lights flash.
Eventually, I crash.
Then the game starts over.
How do we find the right balance of rest and motion? I feel like (at least temporarily) I’ve made microprogress in January and will report back tomorrow with a recap of my first month on this journey toward more rest and margin.
One size fits all. I guffaw. Maybe it works for a winter hat or fuzzy socks…but most women know that the same size in three different brands of jeans will not fit the same. We come in unique shapes and sizes and yet, for the most part, we’re required to fit into one size (and preferably stay there or get smaller).
I have no desire to go back to a Little House on the Prairie era, but at least they got the clothing thing right. In a time before mass production, clothes were made to fit the body…not the other way around.
Extending this to a life metaphor, how often do we try to force ourselves into ill-fitting life situations when what we really need is a good “tailoring” job? For example, regular early mornings do not work for me. That size simply doesn’t fit.
And can we all agree that wearing the wrong size is downright uncomfortable?
Your turn. Let me know what you think about imitation and flattery, objects in motion staying in motion, and a one-size-fits-all approach to life. What’s something that’s the “wrong size” in your life right now? What activity leaves you feeling the most rested and relaxed?
J
Oh goodness, I have bought the same size jeans in the same brand and had them fit differently. Too short, too long, too tight, too loose, higher rise, lower rise, ALL OF THESE HAVE HAPPENED. In the same brand, same size, same style. Take 3 pairs into the fitting room and they fit differently. Crazy. I like the metaphor.
Gut instinct, yes, imitation is flattering. I think of artists and how they are inspired by art they read/see/hear, and how it influences their work. If I see a person living their best life, doing it in a way that makes sense to me and would work for me (aka, fits me, to use your metaphor), I will incorporate some aspects into my own life.
I’m interested to hear about your rest and motion progress. There are so many things you cannot step back from. Your husband travels for work a lot, you have kids, you have a home and a career and parents and so on. Finding out where you can step back, and making the decision of whether you WANT to step back or not, that is not going to be one size fits all either. There will be times when you want to not do the thing, and times when you will, and both ways are valid.
(I feel like my comment didn’t make much sense. I hope it made at least a bit of sense to you.)
Elisabeth
Yes! I have had the same thing happen with the same brand/size/style, too! It’s wild!
I think your comment was lovely and made perfect sense from start to finish <3
Suzanne
I love a good hodge podge!
Imitation is definitely a sign of flattery… but I could see how, done a certain way, it could be a little creepy.
The best instance of the objects in motion law — for me — is regular exercise. When I’ve got a daily routine, it’s so easy to stick with it, and to want to do it. But when something prevents me from doing it for awhile, it is SO HARD to get back into it!
Elisabeth
What a great connection to exercise with the motion thing; yes, yes, yes! I definitely felt that way with my yoga momentum in January. Starting was the hardest part. I like, too, that sometimes being in motion – in this case regular exercise – is a good thing. I was thinking primarily from the negative side of things (overworked/overstressed), but sometimes being in motion and beating that inertia is a wonderful thing.
Kyria @ Travel Spot
Hey FYI, this post did not show up in my Feedly feed; I only popped over to see because I was surprised you had not posted anything!
I do think imitation is a form of flattery; you see something you admire and you want to do it or try it yourself. Plus it’s flattering when someone is appreciative of your work and wants to try to strive to be like you. It can definitely go over a deep end though, into uncomfortable, and can be less genuine of the person who is just copying other people all the time.
One size fits all is not even true for hats sometimes! I have had many a tight beanie that is supposed to fit everyone! Pants are a joke and it feels more like one size fits none. I have one pair of jeans and they were a lucky thrift store find that I have had for years and are a little bit forgiving in the waist area if you know what I mean. I have not bought new jeans in years because none of them are comfortable OR flattering!
Elisabeth
I know! It took hours longer than normal to show up. No idea why, but it’s there now! I hope I’m not going to experience what poor San went through 😐
One size fits none – truer words have never been spoken! I actually feel like shopping for pants at thrift stores is easier because I pick them up and look at the cut and often don’t even glance at the size!
Nicole MacPherson
I do think imitation is flattery; I myself will pick up things that I like from others. But also, it can be a little weird if taken too far.
So here’s a fun story. Years ago I was in a Victoria’s Secret, buying a bra, and when I got to the counter it turns out they had a promotion that if you bought a bra, you got a pair of thong panties for free. Sure! I like free things. So I told the lady my size and she said “No no, these are one size fits all.” WHAT. She handed me my one-size panties and I thought, okaaaaay. However I got them home and they fit perfectly. But…what? How does a pair of panties FIT ALL. Of all things, a THONG? Now, again, they fit me and I still have them lo these many years, but ONE SIZE FITS ALL THONGS.
Elisabeth
Okay, I can attest to the fact that not ALL thongs are one size fits all (wedgie alert), but I wear exclusively thongs because I feel they fit SO much better than traditional underwear. If I’m going to have undies ride up on me, why not plan it that way from the outset.
On a related tangent: have you ever tried the Hanky Panky thongs? I’ve heard they are amazing and they have cult-level followings…
Jenny
” Just when it feels like I’m about ready to fall into relaxation mode – Twing! – a flapper goes rogue and I’m off again, careening back and forth between walls and making wheels spin and lights flash.”– This is what I feel like sometimes when I’m trying to go to sleep at night. I’m just drifting off and my brain decides, nope! I’m not quite done for the day yet.
One size fits all is definitely a myth (except, apparently when it comes to thongs, as Nicole has instructed us.) Morning routines are a perfect example. I do get up early (because I have to) but my “morning routine” does not include meditation, journaling, or setting intentions for the day. Those things sound great but just don’t fit into my life right now (maybe someday… who knows?)
I’m looking forward to hearing more about your first month of Shmita!
Elisabeth
Yes, it’s more likely to be my brain not my body that is pinging around like crazy.
I don’t have a set morning routine either…but that might not be surprising to everyone who knows how I feel about mornings!
Elinoora
Did you ever read the books of the sisterhood of the travelling pants? It centered around this wild idea that one pair of jeans fit three different girls, with very different body types. And it looked good on all three of them! Wild! I’ve never found such a pair of jeans. Maybe scarves could truly be one size fits all 🤔
Elisabeth
I never read the books but I LOVED the movies. Wow – that is a blast from the past.
Agreed – I have never found a pair of pants like that myself!
NGS
I don’t know about imitation. On one hand, it IS flattering. On the other hand, if you’ve worked hard to create/develop something, it’s sad when someone imitates you and doesn’t give you credit. I think it all depends on the scope of the imitation and the intent.
I think about the object in motion stays in motion think with respect to my body a lot. When I broke my leg more than a decade ago, the doctor said: You will have arthritis. It will be better if you move it every day. So joints and muscles NEED to be used and I have to stay moving because my natural state is laziness and sleeping.
But the ping-ponging of the brain. Oh, boy, do I feel this. I honestly feel like the only time I’m not thinking about eighty things at once and working myself up into a lather is when I’m meditating or doing purposeful movement like yoga. So it’s a good reminder for me that to work on my anxiety, I need to focus on breathwork.
Also, note to Elinoora: I’ve definitely gotten rid of scarves that are the wrong size. If they’re too short, they will look dumb when they’re wrapped around twice, but will choke me if they’re wrapped around three times. No good! Even in scarves size matters!
Elisabeth
I agree with you 100% on your imitation points. Clearly scope and intent play a huge role in how valid the imitation is in a particular context.
If I could, I think I’d be relatively content to never purposefully exercise (I don’t mean general walking, but exercising JUST to exercise, not to get from Point A to Point B) again in my life.
I have really appreciated the yoga practice this year for breathwork. Ujjayi breath is like my new favourite thing!
Allison
Getting smacked around like a pinball right here with you. The best I’ve been able to manage is coping mechanisms to recover slightly sooner from the smacking. The crash always happens, though.
That saying pings slightly wrongly in my head, but when I try to pin it down, I’m not sure why. If someone is imitating you, it does seem that they see something good in you that they want to emulate. When kids do it, it’s adorable. When adults do it, it can be disconcerting. I’ve always thought of the saying as a kind of sop to prevent us from being annoyed by it, maybe that’s why it doesn’t seem wholly positive to me.
One size fits all – don’t even get me started. I have major sensory issues and all my clothing tends to be oversized, which my mom hates.
Elisabeth
What an interesting perspective; maybe the saying itself is designed to protect the imitator? I think NGS is so right that scope and intent matter, it just feels like a topic with A LOT of grey areas. When it is imitation in a unique sense, without being straight up copying. Who gets to decide? The person being imitated? Society at large?
Lisa's Yarns
The pinball analogy is so apt for me right now. That is totally how I feel these days and I don’t love it but I don’t know how to fix it short of taking more time off when my kids are in school/daycare? Because rest and young children are at odds generally… I am taking Feb 29th off, though, to use as a “shouldless day.” I had taken Fridays off before but Paul is how at 2:45 so it kind of cuts into my shoudless time! He has March 1st off and it’s his birthday so I figure the 29th can be all about self care and the 1st can be all about bonding w/ him and celebrating his life with a 1:1 day.
I think imitation is flattering as long as it’s not taken too far as others have said. Unless it feels like someone is overly mimicking you? Then it can feel kind of creepy?
Elisabeth
Yay for a shouldless day! I’m so glad you have one scheduled to look forward to. I am crossing every finger and toe that everyone stays healthy and well!!!!
Beckett @ Birchwood Pie
Well I hope that imitation is a sincere form of flattery because that’s a phrase that I use a lot. I’ve certainly done my version of plenty of other blogger’s posts and I always link back to them. Maybe a better form of flattery is that I could never do one of your top five/bottom five or Q&A lists because those posts are so unique.
Ugh we do so much damage to ourselves by trying to be “one size fits all” for lifestyle. At best it’s uncomfortable and at worst – well it’s really bad.
Elisabeth
Aww. You could do an awesome Top 5/Bottom 5 (and I’d be honoured!)
Ernie
Maybe it’s because I’m around a lot of teenagers right now, but I like it when people think for themselves and don’t necessarily imitate others. I guess I’m mostly thinking of the herds of teens showing up to basketball games wearing the same thing – black leggings and a crop top. What about wearing something different? I’m being very specific here, sorry. I want to scream Can someone be original?
In my experience one size does not fit all unless it is a beach cover up. Ha. I’d say the one thing that is the wrong size in my life right now, time. There just isn’t enough of it. Not even close. I cannot keep the house clean, stay on top of the laundry, make meals, babysit 4 days a week, attend the kids’ sporting events, and find time to write. I’m feeling drained. I feel like I can never get ahead of the game. If I spend too much time on one thing, everything else suffers. Ugh.
Elisabeth
Sometimes the Math literally doesn’t work – with all the different things you have going on in your life (not to mention those “life” things like sleeping and eating and basic hygiene) you may not physically even be able to fit everything in. What a tough balancing act and I know you have so many balls in the air right now + your health struggles + the fostering experience + the lawsuit. Ugh. I wish I could wave a magic wand and take many things off your plate while magically giving you an extra few hours in the day just for yourself.
ccr in MA
I saw a cartoon once where two women are shopping, one thin and one not-thin. The not-thin one reads the tag on an item, one size fits all, and the other says, “Yeah, but look at the size of your all.” My all is bigger than some alls!
My brain does that pinballing around especially at night. I listen to an audiobook to go to sleep, and it has to be one I’ve very familiar with so it doesn’t get too exciting and keep me awake. It helps me to have it going so if my brain starts bouncing, I can focus on listening to the words instead.
Elisabeth
That cartoon got it right!
My mom does something similar before bed and reads the same short story anthologies over and over. I’d be bored out of my mind…but maybe that’s the point!
Michelle G.
I always enjoy a post of random thoughts!
I think imitation is flattering up to a point. It’s better to have a large pool of sources to imitate from, rather than to just pick one person and imitate them. Does that make sense?
Like so many of your readers, I have the pinball problem at night when I’m trying to sleep.
And one size definitely does not fit all in my experience! I recently ordered two bathrobes. They were exactly the same style and size, just different colors. One robe fits perfectly and is so comfortable. The other robe is tight across the shoulders, which makes it so uncomfortable! Same style and size!!??
Elisabeth
What the what with the bathrobes. Isn’t that just like modern sizing, though. And a bathrobe no less which feels like it should be more forgiving and one-size-fits-all. I’m glad you found one that fits perfectly 🙂
Kate
In my experience, one size definitely does NOT fit all, even in my own life over the course of a year! With young kids, the rhythm of our family life necessarily keeps shifting and I drive myself crazy trying to make it look like it did ten years ago or even one year ago. But it’s HARD mental work to be constantly re-evaluating and deciding how to prioritize!
One exception to one size fits all in my experience: a very particular pair of jeans from White House Black Market that my two best college friends and I all bought, when we were in college. We had (have!) very different body types, yet this magical pair of jeans looked flattering on all of us (not the same, mind you, as all of our silhouettes are different). None of us could fit into those jeans now, and we never found another article of clothing like it. It was like our own Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and it was amazing!
Elisabeth
I am VERY intrigued by these pants. They sound magical <3
Maria
One size fits all is so aspirational so much of the time. I tend to assume it’s actually “one size fits many people poorly”. I have seen “one size fits most” a couple times which seems to be slightly more accurate.
Elisabeth
One size fits most! That’s brilliant!! (And can be true). Though I agree with your line even more: one size fits many people poorly!
Stephany
I do think imitation is a sincere form of flattery, as long as proper credit is given. And I tend to use other people’s posts/podcasts as a jumping off point for my own blog, so I hope that is true! I always give credit and I hope it’s not seen as anything other than flattery.
Don’t even get me started on sizing. I think some places have started using the “one size fits most” terminology, which is a lot more apt!
Elisabeth
One size fits most…or one size might fit one person. Sigh! I couldn’t believe the reader who said she ordered two bathrobes in the same size and style (just different colours) and they FIT DIFFERENTLY. What?!
San
Hodge podge cooking is my favorite.
One size does most definitely not fit all, and not even the same person… because as others pointed out, are there no standards when it comes to clothing sizes anymore? I have sizes between XS and L in my closet and I’ve also experienced that three things of the same brand/size did not fit the same.What on earth??
I do think imitation is a form of flattery, but only if credit is given where credit is due. Otherwise, it’s just “stealing”.
Anne
I’m in the “imitation can be nice but also creepy” camp, I think. To a degree, yes, it can be nice, but when it goes too far? Or gets to be too much (i.e. imitation in everything, not just one aspect of your life)?
And no, one size (one length, in particular, for me) does not fit all. I cannot tell you how many pants I have returned because they are literally dragging on the ground (and we’re talking like 6 extra inches in the “regular” length… I am short. I am not THAT short!).
Elisabeth
Yes to length! I really didn’t mention that, but it is SO hard for me to find pants that are short enough. And, like you, I’m “short” but not THAT short?!