My Year of Shmita: September Update

September typically feels like a month of new beginnings, but there was a bit of anti-climax in our family when the return to school wasn’t quite the smooth transition we had been hoping for…

This month I primarily thought about rest in the context of how to pursue it in the middle of trying times. Spoiler alert: I’m already on my second page of Shmita notes for October and feel like I’m back on the proverbial bandwagon.

Here is a post I wrote about announcing my Year of Shmita and my January, February , March, April, May, June, July, and August recaps.

MONTHLY NOTES

• Routine, routine, routine. Well, that was wishful thinking! I wrote my vision for routine early in September but: A) I forgot our complete extracurricular schedule isn’t finalized until October and B) I didn’t foresee such a rocky start to Grade 8 for Belle. In a perfect world, routine is a big component of me feeling rested; it allows me to turn off my brain, to move forward on autopilot and, in ideal conditions, to anticipate and delight in a treasured routine (like a leisurely Sunday afternoon walk or a long nap on Saturdays).
• Taking up space. The last few years have involved trying to take up as little space as possible. I continue to keep specifics off the internet, but due to some recent changes with regard to the most pressing situation, this fall feels like the first time I/we have had the freedom to move at will within our neighbourhood. To that end, one of my goals for September was to expand! And wow, have we succeeded. For the first time in years I have confidence to be outside! The kids schedules have been overflowing with playdates and they have been spending so much time outside having fun! I had to give myself permission to take up space and remember that I deserve to be here! This is my home and my life! It has felt liberating.
• Rest when sick. September brought various sicknesses to our household; almost immediately after starting school both kids had to spend multiple days at home recovering. I wrote down challenges to rest when someone in our household is sick, and potential Sabbath-centric responses. Illness leads to: disturbed sleep, low- (or high-) level anxiety, restlessness, and a feeling of being out of rhythm (e.g. I had multiple nights of interrupted sleeping helping a sick kiddo). I can try to counteract those experiences with: patience, comfort (a hot shower, a warm mug of hot chocolate), a mantra (having something specific to repeat over and over – like This too shall pass – really helps me refocus when I’m overwhelmed by nursing responsibilities), and gratitude. There is always so much to be thankful for – if I remember to look for it – in the middle illness.
• Rest when unhappy. The first few weeks of school were emotionally charged. It’s draining and sad to watch one of your children struggling with what is, to be honest, highly unfair circumstances. General unhappiness and dread leads to: rumination, casts a shadow over EVERYTHING, causes anxiety, sadness, anger, and despair. I can help offset those very real emotions by: trying to gain perspective – first for myself and then also for my suffering child, seek and promote friendships (this was the #1 help for Belle; having hangouts with friends reminded her she has an incredible support network), providing a safe place to land at the end of each day (she’d have to put on a brave face at school and needed a place to be vulnerable and vent her frustrations), and realize that as a mother that This too shall pass and sometimes The only way through is through.
• Sleep tracking. I haven’t tracked my sleep for several years, but I did a few weeks of monitoring and the average (including naps) worked out to 7.46 hours for every 24-hour period. My longest sleep was 10 hours (!), and my shortest night was 4.5 hours (also !). Unfortunately, my daily hours of sleep vary wildly which is not ideal even if it does all “come out in the wash.”
• Post-social wind down. Because I was trying to offset the rocky school transition, I hosted a lot of people at our house. I get joy out of seeing my kids happy, but I am an introvert at heart, so having people in my space – especially rambunctious kids – tends to drain me of energy. Eventually I have to make space to recuperate; in the past that has tended to come by way of an emotional or energy crash. In the spirit of maintaining a sustainable relationship with rest, I’m trying to recuperate along the way, hopefully preventing burnout. Easier said than done as my go-to strategies tend to be a double-edged sword. Reading is a great way to unwind, but I have a tendency to stay up too late (and all the readers said Amen). A hot shower is a relaxing evening ritual, but I find if I’m tired I’ll want to skip this step even though it has a net positive influence on my recovery. Music – I love music and it replenishes my soul. I listen to a lot of music, but not usually as a way to recover from overstimulation. I need to make that part of a more regular evening routine.

BOOKS I READ THAT RELATE TO SABBATH

I only read one book this month that was directly tied to the topic of rest. The Weekend Effect: The Life Changing Benefits of Taking Time Off and Challenging the Cult of Overwork by Katrina Onstad. (3/5 stars). Unfortunately, for me, this book fell rather flat. Here’s my review from Goodreads:

Meh.
Meh.
Meh.
This had potential and there were a few good sections but mostly I found it dry and uninspiring. Which is a shame. There were a few quotes/thoughts I took special note of though:

• I appreciated her discussion of how in the Old Testament the Sabbath was mandated after Israel’s freedom from slavery in Egypt. “A brick is a pretty obvious burden, but so much of today’s labor doesn’t leave marks on our bodies; it breaks our spirits, which is an invisible kind of wearing down.“
• Also interesting to consider that only in the last few centuries have we largely moved from “task time” to “clock time” so you don’t just work until a job is completed, you work until your allotted time to work is through.
• Business looks to “create the wants it seeks to satisfy.” (John K Galbraith)

And that’s a wrap on the ninth month in my Year of Shmita!