My Year of Shmita: May Update

If May was my only snapshot from within this “Year of Shmita” it would serve as a rather uninspiring picture. Progress seemed stagnant. Though, one could argue, how can I measure progress on a largely theoretical topic like rest? Does progress equal having a better idea of what rest means to me? Does it mean feeling more rested?

*Crickets*

Moving on.

There was one obvious success story from the month – a reminder to set a bedtime. I’ve done this at various points over the last decade but it took a recent re-read of Tranquility by Tuesday to jog my memory!

Setting a bedtime as an adult has perks. There is no one to enforce my bedtime (maybe that’s actually a disadvantage?) and there are no consequences (other than being extra tired) if I stay up late. Some rebel tendency in me seems to like knowing that a set bedtime is completely arbitrary. Even still, knowing there is an ideal time to turn out my light is oh-so-helpful.

My bedtime is set for 10:30 pm and most days I stick with it! If anything, I’ll tend to go to bed a bit earlier, but sometimes I blow right by the time and that’s okay. But if I’m in the middle of a book and glance at the clock and notice it’s 10:30, it serves as a nice cue that it’s Bedtime.

My biggest “regression” is the fact I’ve basically abandoned my digital Sabbath; more on that below.

I’m continuing to realize that a year-long project like this involves a lot of stabbing in the dark. I toss a whole bunch of ideas around in my head and if I’m lucky a few stick and seem helpful. Most of them didn’t “stick” this month.

(*Here is a post I wrote about announcing my Year of Shmita and my January, February , March, and April recaps.)

MONTHLY NOTES

MAJOR THEMES

• Blog break. This is representative of the whole year, I suppose. Stepping back (temporarily) from things I enjoy to provide extra white space and margin.
• Rituals. I thought a lot about the role of rituals and routines. I didn’t manage to extract concrete action items, but I continue to marvel at how ancient Jewish customs provided such a clear “recipe” for how to practice Sabbath rest. The seemingly strict rules and regulations – guidelines on what to wear, how and when to bathe, what to eat – acknowledge how difficult it is to slow down and turn the mind away from the worries of life. It’s easier with a prescription. Not only are we missing the community aspect of traditional Sabbath practices (everyone doing it at the same time; in modern terms – no FOMO!), we’re missing the rulebook. When I think of routines to promote rest I think almost exclusively about young children. Specific clothes (footed pajamas, a fuzzy sleep sack), music (a specific song, a CD of lullabies), food (warm milk, a snack), and a posture (rocking snuggled in a chair, curled up next to a beloved stuffed animal). These things used to be part of the Sabbath experience! There were names for Sabbath naps, Sabbath sex, Sabbath walks. There was thought and intention behind the entirety of the Sabbath experience. From following the same bathing rituals, to singing the same songs and reciting the same Scripture passages, to burning specific candles, to eating the same bread, and abstaining from certain activities – there was, as Tevye would sing – TRADITION. My takeaway? No wonder it’s harder to rest now! We’ve lost the guidebook. Just as my children had a feedback loop that signalled it was time for bed (bath, jammies, milk, brush teeth, snuggle, song, light’s out), we need the same if we’re going to have any hope of recreating this experience in our own lives. Which feels like a lot of work…
• An adult bedtime. See above. This was the biggest positive takeaway for me in May.
• Personal worth. I continue to struggle with a sense of purpose and value if I am not producing. What is doubly frustrating is my foundational faith – I know all the verses and believe in my head that I am of infinite value not because of anything I’ve done or could do, but because of who I am as someone beloved by God. But that message doesn’t easily permeate my heart. I do not have to be busy. I am not better or more worthy when my planner is full. Why is that so hard to believe and live out day-to-day? (On this note, Best News Ever by MercyMe was my “song of the month” and basically sums up everything I have to say on this point.)
• Forced rest. L’s cast changed…everything. He was forced to take a step back from many of his favourite activities (which he handled with so much grace and good humour I can hardly believe he’s my son…I would have been wailing and gnashing my teeth the whole time). A reminder that, sometimes, rest isn’t a choice. Which could be a blessing in disguise in certain situations.
• Limitations. I bristle under the thought of limitations, at least when it comes to what I can stuff into my days. I read something to the effect of We find God’s will for our lives in our limitations. Does that mean we push through with strength only He can provide to overcome limitations? Does that mean we stop pushing and recognize those limitations as a sign to stop? Perhaps both answers can be true?
• Digital Sabbath. It’s too hard to do alone. I tried. I learned things. I naturally touch my phone less frequently over the weekend now, but taking 24 hours off was stressful. I felt guilty if I needed to use my phone and no one else in my immediate network is doing it concurrently so I’m shelving this for now.

• May was also my birthday month. I thought about what gives me oxygen, and then took deliberate action to pursue it!

BOOKS I READ THAT RELATE TO SABBATH

• The Bible.
• The Lazy Genius Way: Embrace What Matters, Ditch What Doesn’t, and Get Stuff Done by Kendra Adachi (4.5/5 stars) This was my second (or third) reading of this book. It’s helpful and practical and I feel like it’s something that warrants reading and re-reading at different stages of life. That said, now that I listen to Adachi’s podcast regularly, it does feel like I have a pretty strong grasp on her method and am set for a while in all things Lazy Genius!
• The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence (4.5/5 stars) A classic piece of Christian literature I’ve been meaning to read for a decade. Short and sweet – albeit somewhat repetitive – this book encapsulates the approach of famed Brother Lawrence who lived with a singular goal: in all things – in every moment – he sought to live in the presence of God. To Lawrence, there was no distinction between time spent in prayer and time spent washing dishes. They were equally holy and both should be spent in conversation with God.
• Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time by Brigid Schulte (3.5 stars rounded up to 4) This book is written primarily for working mothers. If you don’t work outside the home and/or aren’t a mother, most of the advice will be moot. That said, I think there was some compelling research in the book and I mostly enjoyed reading it. My biggest issue was the length. It felt weighed down and stodgy by the end. I also feel like it should have been more overtly marketed as being directed toward mothers.

I wrote down a lot of quotes from the books I mentioned above; this isn’t an exhaustive list of those quotes – nor does it necessarily represent my absolute favourites – but it’s a good sampling of the type of inspiration I was drawn to…

QUOTES

• The Bible. 2 Corinthians 4:7 – “If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That’s to prevent anyone from confusing God’s incomparable power with us. As it is, there’s not much chance of that. You know for yourselves that we’re not much to look at. We’ve been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we’re not demoralized; we’re not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we’ve been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn’t left our side; we’ve been thrown down, but we haven’t broken.” (MSG translation)

The Lazy Genius Way – Kendra Adachi

• Living in your season means letting your frustrations breathe but not be in charge.
• What can you do for hours without effort and feel all kinds of joy? [Ohhh…good question, Kendra!]
• [Re Jesus] The truth is we will never reach the end of our need for Him. And He will never tire of that need.
• The Lazy Genius Golden Rule says that you are your own friend. You’re not a project. You’re not something to be fixed and sculpted and assessed on a daily basis. You’re a person of value as you are right now, and that person deserves your kindness because she is your friend.
• You weren’t knit together in your mother’s womb so you could run after a moving finish line. You’re tired because you’re trying to overcome the world, but we can take heart because the God of the universe has already done that.

Practicing the Presence of God – Brother Lawrence

• [we should] accustom ourselves to a continual conversation with [God], with freedom and in simplicity.
• The most excellent method [Brother Lawrence] found of going to God was that of doing our common business without any view of pleasing men and (as far as we are capable) purely for the love of God.
• …we ought not to be weary of doing little things for the love of God, who regards not the greatness of the work, but the love with which it is performed.
• [God] embraces me with love, makes me eat at His table, serves me with His own hands, gives me the key of His treasures, He converses and delights Himself with me incessantly…and treats me in all respects as His favourite.

Overwhelmed – Brigid Schulte

• Mother’s leisure…tends to be more interrupted, contaminated by mental noise, and “purposive.” [She gives an example of being at the pool, watching your children play which does not truly equal leisure!] You’re not really relaxing. I see it like being on call in a fire station. You go up and down the pole. You train. You are always alert. Always ready.
• As a culture, we have translated speed into being a virtue. If you are busy, if you get things done quickly, if you move quickly throughout the day, it expresses success. You’re achieving.
• In contemporary money culture, to be at leisure, to be idle, is to be irrelevant. Daniel Gross
• [Leisure can be defined as doing:] something with no other aim than that it refreshes the soul or to choose to do nothing at all.
• Leisure in Greek is “skole”; a time of learning and reflection; cultivating oneself and one’s passions.
• Authentic living requires keeping both life and death in mind.
• [Busy = status = important = full and worthy life.]
• [Re someone staying at home to take care of their children in the 1970s]: There was no searing doubt about whether they’d made the “right” choice. It was just what everybody did.
• Love your kids. Keep them safe. Accept them as they are. Then get out of their way. [Feels like a prescription for more relaxed and restful parenting?]