My Year of Shmita: August Update

I needed August. Honestly, it felt like the first true month of rest in 2024.

There were some great moments in July, but unexpected situations really took me by surprise (go figure!) and left me emotionally exhausted.

Not only did August give me time to process life events, I also had a week off parenting when both kids were at camp, a relaxing visit to my parents, and then a two-week vacation in Portugal.

Our time away was more “trip” than “vacation”, I suppose, but a change is often as good as a rest and I came home feeling something akin to rested. As I mentioned in my chapter title post, this is the first September/return to school where I have not felt utterly burned out since becoming a parent to elementary-school-aged children.

That’s major progress!

Here is a post I wrote about announcing my Year of Shmita and my January, February , March, April, May, June, and July recaps.

MONTHLY NOTES

Honestly? I didn’t think about Sabbath or Shmita or rest very much in August. And I’m inclined to believe that’s a good thing! I’ve internalized a lot of valuable information about rest and what my body and brain need to recuperate and, to a certain extent, I was able to run on auto-pilot. But there were a few concrete ideas I did mull over this month.

• Rest begets rest. If I feel rested, I can keep on resting! I think my default as an adult – often out of necessity – has been if I feel rested I take that as my cue to overextend myself. As much as possible, I want to celebrate feeling rested…by resting more!
• Money. I spent some time considering the various ways money impacts rest. This isn’t an exhaustive inventory, but a few thoughts: A) Money buys time – that is one luxury that usually requires money. Whether it’s childcare or ordering groceries online or housework or lawn care or pool maintenance, time is money. Outsourcing is a wonderful privilege, and one that tends to only be accessible to higher wage earners. B) Money can also buy time in the sense that fewer hours are required to make ends meet. If you have to work three minimum-wage jobs to keep food on the table, you aren’t going to have an excess amount of flexible time to pursue restful activities. C) Thus, money also buys leisure activities. Leisure generally requires one to have free time/time without work. Leisure can also be pricey – bikes, vacations, subscriptions, books, restaurants, sports equipment, movie tickets, registration fees. While leisure often (definitely not always) costs significant sums of money, it can play a major role in helping someone feel rested, engaged with others, and content. On the flip side: A) People in high-paying roles may have excessive work demands, leaving little time for leisure, sleep, and exercise. Big paycheques often come with big responsibilities and big pressures. B) Money buys stuff and stuff can prevent rest. Have a fleet of cars? Those will need to be fixed. Have a huge home – that will take more time to clean. C) Money might also contribute to relationship breakdown, decision fatigue (where to go on vacation will take fewer mental gymnastics when you’re limited to a one hour driving radius and no overnights), and concerns about managing money (investments, stock market crashes). Overall, I suspect those with a stable income are better able to pursue rest and associated activities, but it’s interesting to think about the pros and cons of monetary wealth as it pertains to rest.
• Spend out. On the theme of money – I hate spending it. I really, genuinely hate (and – if I’m being honest – fear) it. That fear is something hardwired into me from childhood. My parents had very limited funds when I was growing up and austerity was preached as a form of lowercase gospel. To a certain end, this frugality has had a lot of positive impacts on my life. But it can also negatively influence my decisions and contribute to feelings of guilt. In August I thought about what it might look like to “spend out” and I have made efforts to do so. (Again, I openly acknowledge the concept of choosing to spend more money is an enormous privilege.) I wanted to spend out on things that brought joy/ease. Three times in July we bought take-out sushi. It was only $18 for John and I…still, doing it three times felt excessive. But also very convenient and delicious. I want to spend out on things I genuinely need (I am the type of person who will continue wearing a bra until it is literally hanging on by a thread). And I want to spend out on things I need/want that I simply can’t find thrifting. I am proud of the fact that I only own second-hand clothing but sometimes that makes it hard to accept certain items cannot be found (easily or in a timely manner) in a second-hand capacity. It’s okay to buy things new.

VACATION

Since vacation – first at my parent’s home and then in Portugal for two weeks – was a big part of my August, I wanted to bullet point some ways I prioritized rest while living outside my normal routine.

• I watched documentaries on the plane. This might sound silly, but I generally try to read on a plane (non-fiction) because it feels productive. I did read the whole way to Portugal, but ended up watching sports documentaries (which I love) on the way home. It felt…restful!
• I took naps on public transit. I generally cannot sleep on planes and this held true on our most recent trip, but I fell asleep both times we took a bus and one of our train rides and it was GLORIOUS. I am even more jealous now of the people who can conk out the instant they get settled on a plane and wake up when they land. You have a superpower!
• Taking time to watch TV/read blogs each day. This was helpful both in terms of getting rest from parenting (when we were adventuring, it was very hands-on parenting with keeping track of the kids, managing their needs, and engaging with them) – the kids loved unwinding in front of the TV at night – which gave me with time to unwind. While I didn’t always watch TV, I always spent some time going through Feedly. I didn’t comment while away (which can sometimes feel like very happy “work”), so that also felt wholly restful.
• Using Bolt vs. public transit. For various reasons, using ride-share options ended up being the best solution for our inter-city travel and it was so restful. Getting picked up/dropped off exactly where we needed to be, having air conditioning, automatic payment through the app (no paper train or bus tickets!), always being able to sit down – so much more relaxing than standing on a crowded metro during rush hour.
• Planning! Having so many things sketched out before our trip meant our actual vacation felt more restful. I had a general plan for each day, I had backup options, and I also had a lot of flexibility built into our schedule. We mixed and matched various things, but it all fit within the framework I set up in advance.
• Staying in apartments not hotels. We only spent 2 of our 14 nights in a hotel. The rest of our accommodations were local apartments. Most places allowed for separate sleeping quarters which helped everyone settle down for the night more quickly. It also allowed us to store food which made mornings more leisurely (we bought milk, cereal, yogurt, fruit and pastries, so we were generally leaving “home” fed in the mornings).
• Air conditioning. This feeds into Bolt, planning, and apartments. We specifically made sure to only book apartments that had air conditioning (thanks to everyone who weighed in to alert me about this before we booked accommodations). Especially in older parts of cities, air conditioning doesn’t come standard. It was so, so hot while we were in Portugal and knowing we could open a door and be enveloped in cool air at the end of the day was amazing. (We usually turned the air conditioning completely off when we left in the morning, but because they were small apartments, spaces cooled down quickly and stayed cool even when the unit was off for extended periods).
• The books I read! I love memoirs and I treated myself on this trip! My favourites were Brain on Fire by Susannah Cahalan (could not put it down!), Beautiful Boy by David Sheff (had some hangups, but also couldn’t put it down), and Hello, Molly by Molly Shannon (yet another tragic celebrity memoir; couldn’t put this one down either). Less successful, but still good, were No Time To Panic by Matt Gurman, and A Beautiful, Terrible Thing by Jen Waite. I read one book about rest called Take Off Your Shoes by Ben Feder which was wholly forgettable so I won’t write any more about it than that! I didn’t take my Bible with me to Portugal, so I took a rest from daily Bible readings as well (which might sound horrible to say as a committed Christian, but it was nice and made it feel very special to come home and get back into a more regular Bible-reading routine).