I feel like I haven’t written about…life…much lately. Now, a trip to Spain was very much a part of life but it’s an unusually big and grand adventure. Most of life is loads of laundry and work and navigating conflict and buying groceries and sleeping and wiping globs of peanut butter off the counter. Beyond counter-wiping, here’s a glimpse at what’s been going on.
BIRTHDAY | We officially have a teenager living in our home. Let me repeat. It’s official – there is a TEENAGER UNDER OUR ROOF. THAT I BIRTHED. It makes me feel both old and unprepared. Nevertheless, here we are; onward and upward.
Her party was a huge success. Ten (10!) tween/teen girls piled into our living room and laughed and played and screeched (seriously, there is so much screeching at this age). This was perhaps my favourite kid party ever because I had almost nothing to do with the planning.
A few months ago I signed up for a conference. When A planned her party, it happened to fall the same weekend as the conference so she and John took over…everything. They bought prizes, they cleaned the house, they made cake pops (they bought doughnut holes and covered those with melted chocolate – a huge hit!), they ordered pizzas, they planned games. When I arrived home at 4:00 pm on Saturday, the house was ready for a party and I had done nothing to propel the event forward.
Birthday party planning is not my favourite thing so this was a revelation.
The party went off without a hitch. Everyone was jolly and enthusiastic. There were silly games and all sorts of “tea spilling” (’tis the era, y’all) and ohhing and ahhhing over gifts.
One of the games was a cool mash-up of Pictionary and Telephone. Two teams form a line. The head of the line gets a piece of a paper with a picture on it, and they have to describe it to the next person in line, who tells the next person in line, etcetera, until it gets to the end of the line where someone is creating a drawing based on the “telephoned” instructions. It’s HILARIOUS and I could not belive how well they did; this snowman was the easiest picture and I was very impressed with the details captured.
I am still perplexed by the cat on the top of the one snowman’s hat – and the nails coming out of the arms of the other snowman.
Per tradition we did a candy hunt – 146 individually wrapped chocolates and candies – and, per tradition, it was my favourite thing about the party. We will be finding Hershey’s Kisses in random places for the next 6 months.
Mic drop with this card created by her oldest friend. I was pregnant with L when the original picture was taken. Where did those years go?
And I think Taylor would be impressed with this one!
EXERCISE | Hmm. I did a long walk yesterday with John, but I’ve fallen off the yoga bandwagon. Movement is “okay” but not great. The weather is not inspiring. I did walk a lot in Barcelona, but I miss feeling like I have a good routine (or any routine, quite frankly). Lack of exercise is bumming me out but I also have zero enthusiasm for it right now.
SHMITA | I’ll be back with a monthly recap in the next week or so but, spoiler alert, I feel like I’ve fallen off this bandwagon, too. Between a trip away and some life challenges it’s been hard to feel restful or rested. It’s all a process and I’m feeling optimistic for the fresh start – even if it’s just calendar semantics – in April.
SUMMER PLANNING | We are sorting out some sports for L. We’re not sure yet about A’s schedule but she may be working at a local camp for a chunk of the summer which I think would be amazing for honing her natural “leadership” qualities. John and I are going to see Nate Bargatze in August. But specifics are still nebulous.
READING | I’ll recap most of these books in my March Shmita recap, but here’s a screen grab of my Goodreads lately. Nothing amazing; Digital Minimalism was probably my favourite of the bunch, and that was a re-read.
WATCHING | Not much! Frasier. Drive to Survive. I’ve discovered the only YouTube videos I’m really drawn to are the Vogue shorts of Life in Looks. So fun.
That’s about it! A birthday. Some books. And plenty of wiping up globs of peanut butter (literally and figuratively). Though, in addition to peanut butter, last night a GIANT ball (bowling ball-sized) filled with glittery goop burst all over A’s room. It sprayed all over her walls, closet, laundry hamper, mirror; we’ll see what happens with the carpet which was covered in the messy goop. Sigh. Oh, and one of our toilets broke this week. Double sigh.
And about that laundry. Imagine the look on my teen’s face when she opened one of her birthday gifts to discover laundry pods from her mother. Surprise! You want more independence? How about being in charge of your laundry from now on? We’ll see how this goes…
Your turn. When did you start doing your laundry? Most memorable birthday party from your youth? Best book you read in March?
Jan Coates
13 was our laundry turning point, too. Amazing how they’ll starting wearing things multiple times before washing🙃 and we just watched Nate Bergatze on a Netflix stand-up show with Liam and Rachel. So deadpan funny.
Elisabeth
He’s coming to Halifax this summer! One night only, but I know a few of us heading in from our “neck of the woods.”!! I’m excited.
I HOPE that’s exactly what happens with the laundry. L will get his turn when he’s 13 (which A thinks is very unfair; her first question on getting the laundry pods was: Does this mean L has to start doing his laundry, too?).
Grateful Kae
Aww her party and all those girls!! That’s so cute and she’s so lucky to have such a great group of friends to celebrate THIRTEEN with!!
Travel always goofs life up, doesn’t it?! In a good way though. I think using the new upcoming calendar month as another reset makes perfect sense.
Also- I have had that book Growing Up Amish on my to read list for ages. I just thought it looked interesting! I haven’t read it yet though. Will be curious to hear if you liked it or not.
Elisabeth
I know – the fact she has her “gaggle” makes me so happy because I know these years are ROUGH (especially, I think, for girls?).
I am really, really hanging on to hope that April will feel like a fresh start? I mean I know it really is just semantics but just like a new year really does feel, well, new, the same can happen day to day, week to week, month to month…
Growing Up Amish was interesting; didn’t love it, but I finished it all in one sitting at the airport 😉
Nicole MacPherson
Aren’t teen-planned parties the best? One year J had like ten kids over for something ridiculous like seven hours, and I thought – how is this going to work? Well, I don’t know, but it did. All I had to do was make sure there was lots of food.
I know the teen years can be filled with angst and emotions but they can be so incredible and fun and joyful. I am wishing you the very best for the next few years! Those photos! My heart! Awwww. The pregnancy one is so sweet.
Elisabeth
They are so much easier than the little years!! A took charge and organized almost everything – she had strong opinions on just about everything – and, like you say, our main responsibility is to make sure there is enough food.
Jenny
HAPPY BIRTHDAY A! And I’m laughing at the gift of laundry pods. I did my son’s laundry the entire time he lived at home (and I still do it when he comes back) but I think my daughter will start doing her own. We actually just had a talk about this last night- starting her own laundry is going to be one of her summer projects.
About the yoga- I’m always astonished by how I’ll get into a great routine with something, doing it every day (cold showers come to mind, but there are so many other examples) and then for some reason, I’ll just stop doing it. I couldn’t even explain why. It’s like one day I don’t do it- I forget, or don’t feel like it- and then I never do it again. In your case, I think the trip to Spain is a good enough reason for a break. You can get back to it! But starting again can be hard.
Elisabeth
My parents did my laundry, too, but I also feel like I was more independent in other ways? So we’ll trial this out and see how it goes. Worst case scenario, I just continue doing it…
Starting again is hard. I’m not quite sure what I do. Daily walks? Daily yoga again. I haven’t really had mental space and energy to think through April planning either, but it is creeping up on my fast. We shall see. I think SOMETHING daily will be helpful?
Kelsey
Wow, a teenager! It all sounds so other-worldly to me and yet I am just two years away myself! I’m enjoying seeing who my kids are so much as they get older and think that I’ll really enjoy having teenagers. It sounds like you have a fantastic one yourself. 🙂 Happy birthday, A! A’s party sounds so fantastic, and that game is hilarious. I would love to hear a round up of all the party games that were played if you’d ever like to share. That sounds like such fun, and I love the prize table idea! And her friend’s drawing skills: I am also blown away!
I’m not sure when I started doing my own laundry but 13 sounds like a great age!
I read a few great books in March: The Women, The Boys in the Boat (a LOT of rowing but as a former rower I loved the detail), and a random neat find was Find Yourself at Home: A Conscious Approach to Shaping Your Space — loved her thoughts on design/decor and energy in a home and making it work for you.
Elisabeth
To be honest, I feel like the teen years started for us around 10, so nothing functionally has changed (though I wonder if some of that is girl vs. boy tendencies and hormone fluctuations). One thing that HAS changed in the last few months is my willingness to leave the kids home for short periods together and that is LIFE CHANGING.
I should root back through my archives pre-deletion of my old blog because I listed all our party games the last few years! Four Corners is a big hit. A candy hunt – always! Some variation on Wink Murderer. Musical Chairs, hilariously enough, is always a big hit. And I try to put a sticker on the bottom of a plate/cup/chair so someone randomly gets a prize just for picking a plate/specific seat etc.
The Boys in the Boat was SO good. I need to watch the movie now. And I’m very intrigued by the Find Yourself At Home Book (I wonder if it’s a bit like Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin?). I’ll go see if I can add it to my Holds list.
Beckett @ Birchwood Pie
Don’t fret about falling off the shmita wagon – that’s why you’ve given yourself an entire year. Rest is a skill that has to be learned like everything else.
I want to read the Growing Up Amish book! There are some Amish communities near me and I’ve been enjoying the Linda Castillo Amish murder mystery series.
Hubs is in the process of transitioning laundry over to the boys. The youngest has taken to it like a pro. The oldest is having a bit more of a learning curve. It’s comical.
Elisabeth
Thanks, friend. Yes! Thanks for the perspective that I’m trying to play the long game with rest.
Best wishes with the laundry. Getting kids acclimated to chores is no joke…
sarah
Such a cute party!! March is the month where my self care slides as well– I was JUST thinking about why this is and if I can prep anything for next March me to make it easier…
I didn’t do my own laundry until grad school (my dad used to pick it up in college and bring it back washed) and now I am ACES at laundry, so I guess there’s no wrong age 🙂 also! Ben lived in a 2 bedroom town house when he was in grad school, and the second bedroom was where he threw his dirty laundry. FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR. He just kept buying new underwear and socks. And now he, too, is excellent at washing clothes)
Elisabeth
The Ben thing is just…too hilarious.
NGS
I don’t remember when I started doing laundry, but certainly by the time I was 12-13. I am literally dumbfounded when people didn’t do their own laundry! I remember folding and putting away laundry when I was 7-8. Maybe modern washing machines are too complicated for kids these days?
Ah, the exercise bandwagon. I really struggle every day. The long-term impacts give me motivation, though. I really don’t want to be unable to walk/get down to pet a dog when I’m older. *sigh* I have to remind myself of that every time I get to the mat, though.
Elisabeth
I’m glad I’m not the only one on the exercise struggle bus!
coco
She look so big and so much like you! what a great birthday party!!! well done. I am super lazy for those. Usually we just invite few of kids closest friends and do something low key.
We will be helper-free for 5 days, the thing I am worried the most is laundry, loads of them!
Elisabeth
Next year is the “little” party year for both kids, so it will just be 3-4 friends each.
Sara
My mother is Polish, and laundry is like a sacred responsibility. She washes clothes specifically not only by color but also by purpose, dries almost exclusively on a clothesline, and is VERY particular about soap, and compulsively irons. Therefore, we were not so much as allowed to touch her washer. I distinctly remember her having to walk me down to the washer and dryer at freshman drop-off in college to tell me what to do. I sort of phoned it in for years, but have always washed my sheets once a week.
A couple of years ago as she has entered her mid-70s, I asked her to write down everything she does for laundry, almost as a keepsake, and I started to wash and dry very similarly (except drying rack instead of clothesline–but this will change in our new house!) and I swear our clothes are lasting longer… I will not however, iron again as long as I shall live.
I hope April is a fresh start for us…it must be fortuitous that Easter is the last day of March this year…
Elisabeth
Well, you’re beating my handily in the sheet-washing department.
My goal with laundry is to get it done as quickly as possible. I think your mother would be horrified by what I do…
Ironing is one of the most unpleasant tasks on the planet in my opinion.
Elinoora
Actually, I remember being responsible for the laundry of our whole family between the ages of 16-18. I didn’t put it in the machine, but I would hang, fold and iron (except my dad’s suit trousers).
It was either the laundry or the dishes and I much prefer laundry 🤷
After that I moved out to go to college and I have no idea who took it up. My mom, I think ?
Elisabeth
Wow! That’s a big responsibility. I know my older sister did all school lunchboxes by the time she was 10ish. She liked doing it and my mom LOVED not doing it.
Lisa’s Yarns
Happy 13th birthday to A! I love the flashback photos! Sometimes I can’t see the grown version of a person in their baby photos but I can with A! And hooray for a party that you didn’t have to plan! The donut hole cake pops are genius. My boys would love those since they are huge donut fans!
My most memorable birthday party was one of my teen parties. I don’t think we did anything particularly special but I do remember that the girls did my hair and make up which is something I have no talent for. But my absolute fave party of my life was my Paris-themed 30th birthday party. I had just broken up with a boyfriend so it could have been a rough time but my friends put together an amazing party. And then I went to Paris the following week to celebrate my birthday which was an epically amazing trip.
Elisabeth
Wow! That Paris experience is amazing (minus the painful breakup part).
It was a wonderful party but, as always, I AM relieved it’s all over for another year 😉
Tobia | craftaliciousme
I think I was about that age when laundry chores were also delegated. It started with me wanting to have a specific piece of clothing. So I had to do it. After I di that a couple times – only that one piece – my mom made us learn to do a whole load and how to sort.
A’s party looks like a real success. And how wonderful that you weren’t in charge of organizing and preparing.
Kyria @ Travel Spot
Happy birthday to A! It’s amazing how fast it goes. My friend K’s youngest is turning 11 in a few days, which is so crazy, as she was just a wee little mite only a while ago. I remember when she could not say my name and it was the cutest thing ever. K-eew-ya! Now she is wearing a bra. We are getting older Elisabeth, and there is nothing we can do to stop it.
Elisabeth
I know…some days I still feel SO young (like who is giving me permission to have a driver’s license and raise a child, I’m still 10 on the inside), to I feel like I’m 90 and ready for a retirement village 🙂
Kate
Happy birthday, A!!!! She is so grownup and beautiful. LOVE the party — and especially the idea of the prize table! (And I’m sure the parents of said girls are also excited to have their children bring home something that they actually will use, rather than a bag full of random tchotchkes).
Big high five on the laundry pods. That just reminded me that my mom used to send care packages to me in college and I was truly, honestly excited to receive things like shampoo or laundry soap because it meant I didn’t have to spend my own money on such boring things! Last summer my girls started doing their own laundry, but as the school year has gotten busier I’ve taken it back over. But come summer time, they’ll be back on the laundry wagon! It’s so good for them to learn how to do it and I think also fosters a genuine sense of self-worth that they are contributing to the household.
The book Upstairs at the White House sounds intriguing — did you like it?
Elisabeth
That’s incredible that your girls do laundry. It’s a pretty important life skill.
The Upstairs at the White House WAS a good book. I think I’d have enjoyed it a lot more if I was American and had more context for the different presidents and their wives, but even with my limited American knowledge I found it interesting!
Stephany
Aww, happy birthday to A! I know we are the same age and I am boggled by the fact that I could legit have a teenager if life had worked out differently for me. A teenager!
I don’t remember when I started doing my own laundry but I know I was in middle school at the very least. My mom was a single mom and didn’t have time to be doing all of our laundry, so we learned quickly to do it ourselves!
Most memorable birthday party… I did a bowling party when I turned 13 and that was so much fun! Everyone signed a bowling pin for me and I kept that pin for such a long time.
Elisabeth
I mean it’s my life and I’M boggled…
What a great party idea to have everyone sign something. I want to do this for her another year!!! She loves mementos like that and it would be so fun to have that record of friends “past.” On her first birthday I had everyone attending write her a note to open on her 16th birthday. AND THAT IS NOW ONLY THREE YEARS AWAY. What the what?
Anne
Wow, I can’t believe A is 13. I’m sure my disbelief is nothing compared to yours! I am trying to remember what my 13th birthday would have been. Probably a sleepover. That was the usual around that time in my life – not as common now, I suspect. (Just fyi, in the picture of the attendees around A, their faces are visible…)
I started doing my laundry full time when I went to college, but I shared responsibility for loads at home – starting a load, folding, etc. – before that. I don’t know that my brother did the same, though… Hm.
Elisabeth
Yes, A’s first question was: Does this mean L has to start doing HIS laundry?
San
Happy belated birthday to A. She’s growing into such a beautiful young woman (and she looks so much like you!) It sounds like she had a very lovely birthday party and the fact that John did all the planning is amazing. You must have felt elated.
I don’t remember when I started doing laundry. I mean, I probably didn’t do my own until I left home but I had “observed” how it’s done previously.
My most memorable birthday party was probably my 16th birthday. It was down in my parents’ birthday and I had my first beer (because you’re allowed to drink beer when you’re 16) and it took me the whole night and it tasted disgusting. Haha.
Elisabeth
I still can’t believe we have a teen. It feels like a VERY BIG DEAL even though nothing has functionally changed since her birthday (e.g. it’s not like she can drive now).
I hate the taste of almost all alcohol, but I think I dislike beer the most!