Happy Thursday! Here are a few questions/thoughts I’ve been mulling over after a recent edition of James Clear’s newsletter.
A reader mentioned that she often feels overwhelmed because his newsletter always seems to leave her with something big and existential to think about. I get that. I mostly read it and then forget it—but I assume some of it trickles down, at least subconsciously? Sometimes, right after reading, I’ll make a small pivot in the moment, and I figure that can have a ripple effect too?
All that to say, I don’t keep a careful record of what stands out because I think that would start to feel overwhelming. But there’s food for thought each week.
“There are two ways to grow: by adding or by shedding.
Do you need to add something or do you need to shed something?”
“When you drink water from a cup, it becomes part of you. When water falls on you like rain, it evaporates a few minutes later.
Similarly, thoughts can be consumed or dismissed. Is this thought nourishing? Is this feeling something you should drink? Or is it more like getting caught in the rain?
You’ll always feel the rain, but you don’t have to drink the rain. You can let the thought pass and in a few moments the sun will return. You don’t have to claim everything you feel.” (Emphasis mine!)
- Do you feel like you’re in a season of adding or shedding?
- What’s something you need to stop drinking (literally or metaphorically)?
- Any other thoughts?
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I think I need to shed- I want a simpler life- but maybe I need to add- I’m so focused on the immediate necessities that I have no fun.
The second quote-I need to think about- any response I make sounds a little shallow. Maybe someone else will verbalize my inchoate thoughts for me!
I think we can pursue different things in different areas of our life. So maybe there are some routines or responsibilities that would be helpful to eliminate, and some fun activities that could be added? That said, sometimes it can be shockingly hard to come up with things that feel like fun when life in general feel heavy and burdensome. In that case, maybe it’s a shedding of expectations. Embrace joy and fun when it comes, but don’t feel badly that it seems hard or infrequent in a current hard stage?
I really like weekly James Clear mails – how does he come up with these deep thoughts and questions EVERY week!!
I try to focus on shedding, but it’s harder than adding. It means facing the truth that some things I hold onto isn’t really helping me to grow. But I know that letting go would make me feel lighter and freer.
I remember letting go of chasing a sub-3 hour marathon. For years it was a goal, but releasing it was such a relief and opened the door to more fun races, without obsessing over a number. Another was giving up on learning Spanish – it’s a language I’d rarely use, which made room to focus on French, which is far more useful for life in Africa and Europe. Small sheds, but huge benefits!
I feel the same. EVERY week it gives me something to think about.
I LOVE your example of letting go of a racing goal and how shedding that expectation/goal paved the way for more fun and lightness in your running and life!
Well, my first thought is that I really need to sign up for his newsletter! I don’t know why I haven’t- it sounds so good.
I guess I’m in a season of adding. I want to get stronger, run farther, read more books… GET MORE SLEEP, ahem… but I really love that second quote. It’s very true- there are so many things we need to just let run off us without absorbing. The next time I have a negative thought or interaction I’m going to imagine a raindrop trickling off my skin.
Jenny, it is SO good. I think you’ll love it. Highly recommend and it’s so short, which I LOVE!
Obviously easier said than done to let hard things drip off, but helpful to consider nonetheless.
I think, as with most things, it’s a balance. If I had to choose I’m probably in a season of adding, but I generally try to find a state of just being. Constantly striving isn’t healthy. I push myself out of my comfort zone for ‘adding’ but I also let myself rest. As for shedding, I find getting outside in fresh air gets me out of my head and physical activity helps me move, both literally and metaphorically.
Yes! Like I commented to mbmom11, I think two things can (and likely are) happening simultaneously. We might be shedding some old habits that were weighing us down while intentionally adding new things.
I also really appreciate Kendra Adachi’s work on seasons. There are literal seasons (at least where I live) and that has a big impact on the flow of my days. And then there are metaphorical seasons.
Literal seasons where I live too! This discussion reminds me of my religion/philosophy teacher at school who would write ‘thought of the week’ on a blackboard outside the classroom.
I love quotes and having something to “chew” on each week is a brilliant idea! I can see why you remember it 🙂
Ok going to give this another try! I am definitely in an era of shedding. I think shedding is harder than adding. I’m working on shedding some unhealthy relationships and the resulting intrusive negative thoughts those negative relationships cause. It’s easier said than done since it has implications on the dynamics of my family of origin. But I’ve hit the point where I care more about my mental health than I care about family dynamics… I wish this was all easier and that we could add and shed in a vacuum!
Amen to all of this! It can be so painful to shed, and it’s frustrating when someone else’s bad behaviour forces you do this sort of thing.
Yes, like you said above, I’m adding in some areas and shedding in others. I love the concept of water your drink vs. rain falling on you. Profound!
My planner comes with a Less/More page where you’re challenged to write down a list of what you want to do more of… and what you want to do less of. I found it a really helpful exercise and it quite reminiscent of adding/shedding!
Wow those simple questions are quite profound. You’ve given me some things to think about, Elisabeth…
Taken literally, January is a major shedding month for me . . . I clean out closets, filing cabinets, drawers, etc.
It does seem like we have a lot of addition leading up to Christmas and then it naturally makes sense to start shedding after the holidays!
Hmm. This is deep. Well the water one feels deep. I’m sort of drowning in big issues that I’m faced with – one at home and one with family of origin. I’m trying to tread water in both places, trying to stay afloat. Trying to stay on track and let the irritants fall to the wayside as the crap sort of flushes itself out. If that makes sense.
I’d like to say I’m shedding in January. Getting rid of the excess from the many desserts I ate over the holiday is one area. The other is – shedding dead weight of sisters who are troubled (to put it nicely). I would love love love to tackle some spaces in the house and shed excess there. I just stumbled on a bin in the basement – right in the open, not even in a storage room. It’s some of Tank’s stuff. College bin of things he probably is done with – well, claim it or let me know your plans and I will set it free. For heaven’s sake. 😉
It can take a lot of work to shed! It’s painful and, in the case, of physical possessions, to streamline items can take a tremendous amount of time and effort!
Oooh. That second one – especially the “you don’t have to claim everything you feel” part. That. That is everything right now.
I love the thought process of either Shedding or Adding. WOW—that is a lot to ponder. I feel like I’m shedding, but isn’t that adding to my life? Elisabethe—SO DEEP! 🫣
The water question; well, me thinks I’m gonna mull that one for a while…
I also enjoy James Clear newsletter. His thoughts are… thought-provoking!
In other contexts, I often hear that it’s easier to “add” something than to shed something… but I think it’s often a process that goes hand in hand, because we can’t keep adding without also shedding something along the way, am I right?
Yes! I really do think it happens simultaneously and ebbs and flows. Sometimes shedding is easier, sometimes adding is.