The holiday season is here; I mean, it’s been loitering around for a while now, but today marks the official start of the holiday season in my mind. Bring on the Hallmark, twinkle lights, and peppermint mocha lattes.
I love Nora Ephron’s quote – Everything is copy. As proof her assessment is accurate, here’s some recent “copy” from my life.
John had been home for eight weeks. EIGHT WEEKS. This is unheard of. He left early Sunday morning and everything was choreographed perfectly. We went to church, the kids had various afternoon activities. And I will admit to feeling a bit smug, deeming myself an Organizational Wizard for so capably juggling many moving parts.
*This is when the ominous music starts playing.*
And then we pulled into our driveway after L’s basketball scrimmage and I could not turn off the car. You heard that right. I could not turn off the car. I didn’t even know this could happen (it can). The key would not turn in the ignition. I sat idling in the driveway for over an hour burning a hole in the ozone layer above our house. I tried everything. Silicon spray on the outside edge of the stuck key. So much fiddling with the key (but not too hard because the interwebs quickly told me you do NOT want to break a key off in the ignition), steering-wheel spinning, desperate gear shifting (Park. Reverse. Neutral. Park. Reverse. Neutral). My jiggling got increasingly aggressive.
Eventually, a neighbour + a tow-truck operator (silver lining: finally getting to cash in on my CAA membership) managed to get the car turned off (1.5 hours later) but I suspect it has driven its last mile. The fix is likely quite expensive and the odometer is creeping close to 300,000 km. It owes us NOTHING, but we just had the oil changed and winter tires put on so why couldn’t this have happened two weeks ago? Also, why couldn’t this have happened when John was home?
To add to the fun quotient in this situation, he had our other vehicle. So there I was, stuck home with a car I couldn’t turn off, and our functional vehicle was in a parking lot an hour away at the airport.
Then some actual good news – a friend was going that direction the next morning so she offered to drop me off at the Park n’ Fly and I retrieved our working vehicle.
The maraschino cherry on top of this whole experience – I loathe maraschino cherries by the way; they’re up there with quiche and Last Christmas – was when L came outside to tell me (at this point I had been trying to turn off the car for about an hour – being coached by my husband who was sitting on a tarmac at the time and of limited practical assistance, bless his heart – which is shockingly jarring and unsettling, so you can imagine my fragile mental state; did I mention the fact that seemingly randomly the car radio would turn off/on – ditto the headlights?) that A had just broken one of her braces.
FUN TIMES.
Two mornings later the kids came RUSHING into my room at 5:30 am. Why, yes. I was asleep at the time. They were both in an absolute tither because A had woken up to the sound of a truck and flashing lights; she proceeded to wake up L, and then they BOTH came to wake me.
I had ordered heating oil the week before and it comes with a broad delivery window. While I knew the day was unpredictable, I did not expect them to show up at 5:30 AM. It took a hot minute for me to orient to what was happening (one child thought it was “bad guys”; always a fun worry to diffuse at 5:30 in the morning) and I assumed it was someone here to tow our car (an action I hadn’t authorized).
Apparently, it was just a morning-loving oil delivery worker channeling his/her inner Nicole/Sarah and deciding it’s okay to do life BEFORE 7:00 AM. At least we will be warm, if sleep-deprived.
Would you like some more copy?
As we were heading out the door that same day, look what I got to add to my to-do list. The joys of parenting literally never end.
And before the toilet fiasco, there was a screaming match between the kids. My solution? To invert a footstool so they couldn’t see each other while they ate breakfast. It wasn’t aesthetically pleasing, but it helped. A bit. I’m rethinking the whole “two kids” bit. It’s much harder to argue with a sibling when you’re an only child. Never fear, there is plenty of sass and angst being directed my way, too.
I very much DO want my children but some moments. Some moments…
Let’s move along to “happier” copy.
MY PARENTS ARE HERE
My parents sublet/house-sit a home just a few minutes away from where we live over the winter (this is their 5th year, I think?). They arrived on Tuesday and the transition went smoothly. It’s lovely to have them nearby and I make a point to see them often. I love driving and seeing them out for a walk or randomly bumping into my father at the grocery store. Yesterday he collected the kids from school and then came by for a coffee and homemade apple cake*. Those simple, everyday moments are my absolute favourite.
*I used this recipe but subbed apples for carrots (I blitzed everything up in the food processor; so easy), used less sugar, and only made half of the topping (the full recipe would be A LOT of topping). Soooo good. Oh, and I used oil instead of butter because I was feeling extra lazy. It should go without saying to long-time readers that I doubled the cinnamon because there is never enough cinnamon in any recipe IMO. I added salt to the main recipe since I used oil instead of salted butter. An 8-year-old guest told me it was “insane” when he had a piece…and then clarified that meant it was very, very good.
MY PROJECT MANAGEMENT ROLE IS DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So…turns out I was able to step down earlier than I anticipated. I had casually made the suggestion I’d be willing to let go anytime, and the new PM was willing to start right away. So here we are; I’m a bit surprised by my mixed emotions. There is a sense of failure in not seeing this project through to the end. I also know that I never really invested myself fully into the work. I like to feel like I’ve given my absolute best effort toward things and I know I didn’t in this role. But I worked hard, did close to my best (given other life circumstances), and I am just so, so relieved to consider the year ahead without that set of responsibilities on my shoulders.
MY LUNCH CHEF
Saturday afternoon A asked if she could make herself a sandwich for lunch. Go for it! Then she asked if I wanted one, too. Um, yes, please. And then what about her little brother and a visiting friend? In the end she made sandwiches for everyone – toasting the bread, slicing the tomato, spreading condiments, and even topping each sandwich with a toothpick and olives for garnish!
I need to post moments like this to soothe my frazzled soul because…well, see above about needing to put furniture on the breakfast table to avoid a fistfight (not really, but…maybe almost. SIGH.)
MICROWAVED EGGS
People seemed very interested in my egg-cooking techniques so I took some pictures.
Before. I lightly greased a plastic (BPA-free) IKEA bowl. Fancy, right? Flat-bottomed bowls work best. (And yes, after I wrote that last sentence, I spontaneously burst into singing Queen). I cracked one egg, added a teaspoon of pre-cooked bacon, scrambled both together with a fork (like a 2-second scramble, no need to get picky here, but the yolk MUST be mixed or the egg will explode), and cooked it on high for 45 seconds.
After. A perfectly cooked, fluffy egg – ready for a breakfast sandwich (which just happened to be for supper).
When I cook 2 eggs, I typically use a bigger flat-bottomed bowl. But on Thursday, for lunch, I scrambled two eggs in a much bigger-than-usual flat-bottomed dish and cooked them for two minutes – and then just rolled it up like an omelet.No frying pan needed!
COFFEE DATE
Local author and friend Jan Coates and I have been trying to coordinate a coffee date for months. Between travel and illness and a car that wouldn’t turn off (see above)…our plans have been repeatedly thwarted. Wednesday morning the stars aligned and despite snowy and icy conditions, we managed to rendezvous at my favourite coffee shop in one piece.
Jan came bearing gifts – in addition to being an author, Jan is also a talented artist AND seamstress. She brought me a hand towel – now hanging in my kitchen – and this adorable Mug Rug! Now my favourite mug has its very own rug. How posh.
The next 3.5 hours (yes, you read that right) FLEW by. As always, conversation with Jan is simply delightful. Stay tuned as she has agreed to guest post at some point in the future.
The cafe is now decorated for Christmas and looks like something straight out of a Hallmark movie. I did not mind this view as I nursed a giant mug of Earl Grey (Jenny will approve of my beverage selection.)
BONUS ROUND
- Coming out to a clean kitchen on Saturday morning. I’m surprised a full choir didn’t appear behind me signing the Hallelujah chorus from Handel’s Messiah with gusto.
- Some rearrangements in L’s bedroom + the laundry room that make things flow just a bit better.
- Snail mail greetings. A Christmas card from Lisa, and a postcard from Anne.
- Hallmark Christmas movies. Are they predictable? Yes. Do I need something lighthearted to sink into? Yes. Am I refusing to feel guilty over sitting down when the kids come home to watch a Christmas movie together? Yes. I even heat magic bags and make hot cocoa (tangent: there is lots of hot cocoa in Hallmark movies, but where are the magic bags? My version of cozy demands magic bags).
- Speaking of my beloved rice-filled sacks – I added a small tote to the counter beside our microwave so I can store ALL our magic bags (5 total) right next to the microwave.
- Okay, I harp on snow a lot each winter. But there is something magical about the first “real” snowfall of the season. And it makes the morning walk a lot more beautiful. Though it was still much too cold for my liking. Why can’t it snow AND be 20 degrees (Celcius) outside? Now that would be perfect.
- We got in at the orthodontist and everything is fixed and updated as needed; each patient gets “scored” at the end of every visit and I would be lying if I didn’t admit it have me a thrill that A was awarded…an A*. Alas, they don’t have an option for A+ ratings – which is a shame. I think a lot of the A grade has to do with the WaterPik and I’m really glad I purchased one for her early on. It has been a LIFESAVER and she uses it 2-3 times every day. *I’m not overly fussed about report cards but perhaps there is the tiny fact we are investing the equivalent of a decent USED CAR into HER MOUTH which makes me very heavily interested in a positive outcome.
Your turn. Tell me some “copy” – good or bad – from your week! Did you love receiving A’s in school, or did you not care either way? Do you use coasters, or just place mugs/glasses directly onto table surfaces? Have you had your first snowfall of the season? Maraschino cherries – love em’ or hate em’?
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Rachel
That car/key issues sounds like a nightmare!! Also I know misery shouldn’t love company but after a rather chaotic night here it was actually nice for me to read about the chaos that can come with older children too… and the footstool on the table made me laugh. Sorry it sounds like a lot of rough! But your good things list is also great and I LOVE hallmark Christmas movies and hot coco so that definitely gets an A+ from me.
Elisabeth
Oh, misery LOVES company. I am happy to provide the company. Not having a car turn off is not nearly as hard as juggling four kiddos – including newborn twins! And yes, there is definitely plenty of chaos in the “later” years of parenting.
Kyria @ Travel Spot
Your footstool on the dining table cracks me up. I grew up with a little brother and two little (boy) cousins in the same house and they were SO ANNOYING; I remember car rides where we would bicker the entire time. I once wrote “I hate K (my cousin)” in the fog of the window and got a tongue lashing from my Mom over that one. Actually cousin K and I used to actually punch each other; we are friends now but we had some moments when we were younger!
I definitely cared about grades and I got good ones except for in handwriting 🙁 which really bugged my Mom, who has excellent handwriting. Thank goodness they did not grade that in HS or college, as that really brought up my GPA!
Elisabeth
I gave my older brother a bloody nose once and I’m a bit ashamed to admit I’m STILL proud of it. We fought ALL the time, but mostly in a physical way (pushing/shoving); of course he would always win because he was 8 years older, hence being so proud of the bloody nose incident (it was an accident).
My kids tend to fight emotionally, which is very different but also disheartening. Deep down I know they LOVE each other, but on the surface it is just constant bickering. SIGH.
I had no idea handwriting was actually graded!
Nicole MacPherson
Your car didn’t…turn off. I had to stare into space for a few minutes. Never have I heard of such a thing and OF COURSE it would happen when John was gone. Also wtf with the heating oil at 5:30 in the morning? I also have never heard of such a thing WHY IS THIS HAPPENING.
We had such a time with J’s braces (tl;dr, the ortho who took over the practice when M had them done literally months before turned out to be an actual criminal, so we had to find a new ortho on the fly, he got them done with someone who was temporary and a DAY after he had them done a bracket fell off, then it was the pandemic and one of the wires snapped, then they put the hooks for his elastics on the wrong teeth…okay, wait this is not a tl; dr, this is just a tl). So I FEEL THIS VERY MUCH.
On to happier things! It’s December 1 and for the first time this year, it’s snowing! It’s the lightest little dusting you’ve ever seen but still feels very festive.
Elisabeth
I had never heard of such a thing either, Nicole.
It was a particularly early morning delivery. When we’ve had excavating crews at our house, it’s not uncommon for them to arrive at 7 am, but 5:30 is new territory for me!
Your braces ordeal is truly horrible. Ugh.
And yay for a skiff of snow. My favourite kind. It makes the world extra beautiful and I don’t have to shovel. And there is something magical about it happening on December 1st (and Christmas Day).
Lindsay
That car story chilled my heart – truly one of my nightmares! The radio turning on and off would have done me in.
Congrats on stepping away from your PM role – I know it’s mixed emotions, but so inspiring for you to be putting you first <3
We use coasters, but it may be because we have a strangely large coaster collection? I don't know how it happened, but I have my grandparents, some from my folks, random ones from restaurants and bars from Luke and my younger days, novelty ones we've gotten for presents… PS: I am always a hard pass on Maraschino cherries.
Elisabeth
Mixed emotions, but primarily relief. Today was my official last day and it feels AH-MAZING.
I think maraschino cherries are so gross. Yuck. But my mom used to make these cherry balls at Christmas and people loved them. Even as a kid – with ALL that sugar added – I just couldn’t handle that type of cherries. I LOVE fresh cherries and cherry pie filling for cherry cheesecake, though.
Jenny
Yes, I do approve of your beverage selection! In fact I’m drinking an earl grey right now- but Starbucks isn’t as picturesque as your cafe.
That car thing is a NIGHTMARE. And what ridiculously bad timing. Glad you got it straightened out (at least temporarily.) Good thing John didn’t take that car to the airport- can you imagine if he could turn it off in the airport parking lot?
I feel bad for you, but also kind of relieved that your kids aren’t perfect after all. There’s so much sass in our house right now, it’s insane. I’m glad I’m not the only one.
A Mug Rug! That is the cutest thing in the world!!! I’m looking forward to Jan’s guest post.
Elisabeth
Aww. We’re Earl Grey buddies <3
The car thing was a nightmare but yes - thank goodness I was home in our driveway when it happened (and not at the basketball scrimmage - in the dark and cold, no food etc). The kids could just go inside and heat up leftovers and eat and all is well that ends well.
My kids perfect? Me perfect? HAHAHAHA. The fighting that goes on between those two on a daily basis can be so disheartening. One child is more challenging than the other, so of course that makes the dynamic even more fraught. The sass, the heavy sighs, the eye rolling. It's a lot!
NGS
Yay for the project management being done!! What a wonderful way to start December!!
My SIL used to have a car where the electrical stuff was all messed up because they tried to install a remote starter. If you turned on the defrost, the alarm would go off. If you opened the trunk, it would lock all the doors. It was really confusing to drive that car! But the funniest bit was that once the alarm started, it was impossible to turn off for like ten minutes. So when she finally traded in the car, as she was driving off the lot with her new car, she heard the alarm start going off and she just sped away, relieved she never had to deal with that car again.
So your story of the radio and headlights going on randomly reminded me so much of that story. There’s probably something wrong in the electrical setup, but how are they ever going to fix it?!
Elisabeth
Okay, the alarm thing would FREAK. ME. OUT. I hate when I accidentally hit the alarm button and if I couldn’t get it turned off. Yikes.
I think there might be all sorts of things going on, so I suspect this will be the end of this vehicle for us, but we’ve truly “run it into the ground.”
Michelle G.
Oh my goodness…that car story sent chills down my spine. I never knew something like that could happen.
I tried your scrambled egg method – and wow! It works! It’s easy and delicious! Thank you so much for sharing this information!! You may have changed my life forever!
Elisabeth
I’m so glad you tried – and enjoyed – my egg hack. I use it almost daily and love, love, love not having to dirty a frying pan!
Colleen Martin
The car!!!!!!! Honestly you are heroic for single-mothering so often. I am in awe even if everything goes smoothly, but then when something like this happens, well I would just be a weeping pile on the floor. I often have to tell my kids to GO INTO SEPERATE ROOMS! Like if y’all annoy each other so much, then why are you all over each other all the time? That meme made me laugh 🙂 And you look so pretty in the snow, what rosy cheeks!
Elisabeth
Oh, I do the separate room thing REGULARLY. (Depending on what’s happened before it, there might be an attempt to door slam while heading in to said room). The other thing I try to do more is give them chores. Like in the time before going to school if they start getting at each other’s throats I will just start giving them a lot of work to do around the house – getting backstock items for the pantry from the basement, prepping laundry etc. I would have done those tasks myself, but if they’re fighting they might as well be putting that same energy into helping offset my responsibilities?
The car was a nightmare and I was very frazzled, but all is well that ends well and I’m just so, so thankful that it happened in my driveway and not at my earlier stops during the day!
Kat
I totally laughed out loud at the toilet clogging and footstool on the table. Amazing! You can’t make this s**t up and I SO get it. I really hope the rest of your week/weekend is much more restful. And perfect timing for your parents to arrive. Lean on them! Hugs (hopefully that is not creepy from a stranger on the internet)!
Elisabeth
I know – isn’t life “copy” even stranger than fiction.
The rest of the week HAS been more restful.
And internet hugs are one of my favourite things about blogging <3
Tobia | craftaliciousme
I have never heard of a car not turning off. But I had nightmares about it. So now knowing it can happen…
The cake looks amazing. I think I will give it a try some day.
Also that little cafe really does look like a Hallmark movie.
I am happy for you your parents. are back in town. Here is to the little happy moments.
Elisabeth
The cake is SOOO good. I’m actually heading out to the kitchen now to make it again.
Lisa's Yarns
OMG 5:30 am? For a drop off of oil? That is RIDICULOUS. You have really had a doozy of a week my friend. And of course it happened when John was traveling for the first time in 8 weeks. What in the what.
Well you know how my week went. It’s been the longest week and I am so beyond thrilled that Taco is back in daycare today. The low was when he thrashed around like a feral cat for 1.75 hours on Wednesday after we woke him (upon doctor’s orders) to give him some motrin. Phil didn’t want to wake him in the first place so there was some grumbling about waking a sleeping child and the chaos that ensued. I thought he might never fall asleep again. I tried EVERYTHING. It was horrible.
My high hasn’t happened yet – it’s that I am going to book club tonight. I explained our year-end book club meeting very matter-of-factly to my new hire when we chatted today and he was blown away. Everyone suggests 3 books and we vote. Before the meeting, I pull holds list info about every book so that I can then set the cadence for the books. I try to say what we will read first so people can request it from the library and get it in time. I thought this was all very run-of-the-mill stuff but he was blown away by all the work I do for this final meeting. But I kind of like being the book club boss/organizing everything. Selfishly I benefit from it since I am a heavy library user and hate to buy any books besides children’s books.
Elisabeth
I am SO glad that Will is back in daycare and turning a corner with this dreadful illness. You’ve had a horrid month in terms of health issues. Ugh.
Not being able to get a child to sleep is the worst – for both child and parent.
Hope the book club was amazing!
Beckett @ Birchwood Pie
Oh my goodness, John had great timing! You got some serious copy this week. I know that both of my stepsons have moments when they would love to be an only child and an orphan.
Elisabeth
Yep – I have a child that references being an only child often (or thinks everything would magically be perfect if we had ANOTHER child).
San
Uff you had some hard stuff to contend with this week. I did not know that it’s possible to NOT turn off your car. What in the world. I am glad you were able to retrieve your other vehicle. Do you need to get your old car towed?
But I gotta tell you, it must be wonderful to now have your parents close by (I’ll suggest such an arrangement to my parents, so they can come and live close by in CA for three months – this is how long they can come to the US as tourists without a visa – and just pretend we’re always live in close vicinity. Sigh. A girl can dream.)
I love that picture of you in the snow. I feel like snow is magical when you DON’T have to navigate everyday life in it… but a voluntary walk in a winter wonderland? I’ll take that any day.
Elisabeth
We haven’t gotten the car towed yet because we’re not quite sure what we’re going to do. Sell it for scrap, repair it and sell it? Decisions, decisions.
It is SO nice to have my parents close by again. I really, really love having them close.
Sophie
Oof some stressful moments for you this week! Glad you made it through and had some happy things too!
I was HIGHLY motivated by As when I was a kid. We don’t get snow at all in my part of Australia, and it’s been sooo hot here this week (34 C and extremely humid). I’d also love to have a month over Christmas where it was 20C and snowing so we could have a white Christmas and then get back to summer hehe. I love the idea of snow but in reality I hate the cold!
Elisabeth
We have a lot of snow today – our first “storm” of the season. It’s beautiful and not too cold, so I’m almost enjoying it!
Kate
What in the actual…?!?!? I had no idea a car could just not turn off. The lights and radio randomly turning on would have driven me batty. And that is absolutely insane that they would show up at 5:30 in the morning without running it past you first! Your poor kids being startled into thinking it was a “bad guy” — I can see my kids coming to the same conclusion. 🙁
The toilet task made me laugh out loud. My husband sometimes threatens to take pictures of what is left in our toilet to show the girls’ future boyfriends. This is the stuff the parenting books don’t warn you about!
So glad you had some much-needed bright spots in your week. Coffee with a friend is right up there on my list of favourite experiences (it happens maybe once a year during this season of my life when most of my friends also have tiny babes!) but I just love the focused connection and how, yes, absolutely, three and a half hours can pass without either of you being tempted to check the time.
In retrospect it’s always easy for me to see why my kids have been particularly ornery at a certain time — in your case, John leaving after such a wonderfully long time at home, and the stress of the car and oil situation, and probably some other things that didn’t get mentioned on the blog. It usually only dawns on me after I’ve lost my cool with them myself, and started to question my parenting, and wondered at length if I’m raising spoiled brats. Then once they’re emotionally regulated again (read: A with the sandwiches!! So sweet!!) all of a sudden, the lightbulb goes off. The footstool solution was genius to give everybody a bit of breathing space when coping skills are at their lowest. You’re a wonderful mama!
Elisabeth
Thanks, Kate.
Yes, the dynamics of life and emotions are so multi-faceted. I regularly have to step back and realize that when John leaves things really do shift. Some weeks go SO well, but of course their emotions are always “off” and mine too! Giving myself grace and trying to carve out extra times to just relax and connect helps. But then some weeks cars won’t turn off and toilets clog. Nevertheless…still some bright moments.
Stephany
Oh goodness, of course everything that could go wrong DID when John left on a work trip. OF COURSE. I’m glad you were able to get the car situation figured out! That would have been so frustrating to deal with.
Hooray for your parents being nearby for the season. There is just something comforting about having your parents nearby, isn’t there? Especially with John gone and solo-parenting. I’m glad you get to enjoy that time with them – and create special memories with your kids!
Anne
Oh, Elisabeth – that car story is so frightening. I am so glad others were able to help, and that you were able to finally turn it off. What a nightmare. You were definitely dealing with a lot of crud right after John headed off to distant lands, but I am so glad there were some positive moments thrown in there (kids old enough to make lunch for you!).
I had a car – that I had just driven 2.5 hours without issue – for which the steering column started vibrating wildly as I pulled into my apartment’s parking lot. It was terrifying, and resulted in an unplanned holiday weekend car purchase. (Benefit: A holiday “sale”!) (Also, my mom had Amazon drop something off at 0445 the other day! Craziness…)
Hang in there, and enjoy twinkle light and candle season. <3
Elisabeth
Oh no! I’ve had a shuddering wheel before and that is TERRIFYING. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that 🙁 Glad you got a holiday “sale” though and got an Amazon parcel <3
Happy Things Friday: 2 February - The Optimistic Musings of a Pessimist
[…] sold our car! It served us well for nearly 9 years but it was showing its age (remember when it wouldn’t TURN OFF?), so it was exciting to send it off to a new […]