This is the second time Colleen has graciously shared her voice here, and I knew I wanted to have her speak specifically about gratitude and parenting. Who better than someone who’s birthed seven humans? (I know some of you may have even more children, but as someone who often feels overwhelmed raising just two, I’m in awe of Colleen’s energy and enthusiasm for life.)
Without further ado, let’s talk gratitude!
Q. Would you consider yourself an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist?
A realistic optimist! I don’t trust easily, and I associate being gullible with being overly optimistic, so that’s why I lean toward realism. But I can always end my assessment of a situation or even a complaining fest on a positive note. That’s the optimistic part. 🙂
Q. If gratitude were an ice cream flavour, what flavour would it be and why?
Mocha Chip, because it’s the best flavor ever. [Bold choice!] Growing up on beautiful Cape Cod but having to work all summer in my parents’ homemade ice cream shop meant I didn’t have the time or money to be a tourist like everyone else vacationing. But every night, at the end of my shift, I would eat a cup of Mocha Chip ice cream with chocolate jimmies, and life was good. [That sounds like such a sweet (pun intended) evening ritual — definitely a delicious perk of the job!]
Q. What’s something you’ve learned to appreciate more with age, something you once overlooked or took for granted?
My parents’ wisdom and outlooks on life. They’ve always been so supportive of their six kids, backing our dreams and helping to make them happen. They certainly gave us better lives than they had, made sure we understood the value of hard work and a good education, and I’m so grateful for that.
Q. What’s one object in your home you’re especially grateful for?
My Speed Queen washer. Oh, I love her so much. She cleans our clothes so well. We do two to three loads a day, and she’s just a worker bee that doesn’t quit. [I had to look this up — in Canada, it’s apparently sold under the name Huebsch. But Speed Queen sounds way cooler. Clean Queen has a nice ring to it, too!]
Also, in my bedroom, I have a sign that reads, “I still remember the days I prayed for the things I have now.” It brings me to tears of gratitude every time I read it. It’s such a powerful reminder not to take these blessings for granted.
Q. How does your faith shape your understanding or practice of gratitude in everyday life?
Jesus literally gave His life for us so we could enter eternal life. How can I not feel grateful for another day?
Even when things don’t go according to our plans or it’s hard to feel grateful, we can look at our suffering as a way to offer it up. By doing so, we unite our pain with Jesus’ sacrifice, and God can use it as a prayer for someone else’s healing or salvation. We offer up the good, the bad, and the ugly so that we’re constantly glorifying God and willingly accepting His will. Even when it’s hard to be grateful in a moment, we can still find purpose in offering it up.
Q. Has your perspective on gratitude changed since you got married? If so, how?
Yes, my husband helped shift my mindset when I fell into the bad habit of comparing our life to everyone else’s.
When life felt overwhelming and I’d start complaining—“Their house is bigger, his car is newer, she doesn’t have to work, they didn’t have student loans, their parents help with the kids…”—he’d gently remind me that I was comparing up.
He encouraged me to compare down instead. Think of all the people who have less than us, who would love to be in our situation, who struggle to have children, who can’t afford college or a house, who don’t have a strong family or who are lonely or sick. [I’ve never heard of “comparing down” before, but that’s such a wise and helpful reframe. I love this.]
Instead of focusing on what I lack, I started looking at all I do have. It’s an instant reset button.
Q. What’s something about your motherhood journey that you didn’t expect to be grateful for, but now are?
You know that “This is the point” trend on social media, where people film little moments of their family just being together and realize this is the point of life? I get those glimpses all the time. Ordinary daily moments that make my heart swell and my eyes tear up.
Because our kids range from age 22 down to 8, I have the perspective of how quickly time flies, how phases end, and how much I’ll miss certain stages when they’re gone. I can honestly say I’ve grown to be truly grateful for all of it, and I can’t imagine what life will be like when we’re empty nesters (though I’m hoping for lots of grandkids!).
Q. What advice would you give to a mother of young children who feels too overwhelmed to feel grateful?
Oh Lord, we’ve all been there!!
A friend once told me to try replacing “I have to” with “I get to.” I get to be the one who feeds them dinner. I get to keep them safe. I get to bathe them, comfort them, and change their diapers. It’s just semantics, but it really helped me remember that I was chosen for this role, for these specific little humans.
That stage of parenting is extremely difficult, and it’s okay to acknowledge that while still loving and being grateful for your kids. I promise it gets easier as they grow up. [It really does. I’ve only done it twice, but that was more than enough to confirm that life improves significantly once you can sleep through the night!]
Q. With seven kids and so many unique personalities, have you noticed that gratitude seems to come more naturally to some than others?
My kids are all so unique with different temperaments and talents, but they all seem to be grateful people.
They didn’t grow up with much. They share rooms, wear hand-me-downs, can’t go on fancy trips, and yet they say thank you all the time. They know they have to work hard to get ahead. [This reminds me so much of my own upbringing. That blend of work ethic and gratitude really stays with you. It can be harder to replicate in a smaller family where kids have more resources and individual attention.]
I do believe kids who grow up with more resources can also be grateful. It’s really about how they’re being raised. But I think gratitude comes a bit more naturally when you don’t get everything you want all the time.
Q. Do you have any traditions or rituals that help cultivate gratitude in your family?
Yes. On the way to school each morning, we say our prayers, then each share 1) what we want to pray for and 2) what we’re thankful for. Then we blow a kiss to Jesus, a holdover from the baby days.
I love hearing what’s on their mind, what they’re worried about and what they’re grateful for, even if it’s just “gym day.”
At dinner, we play High-Low, where everyone shares the best and worst parts of their day. We celebrate the good things and try to turn the bad ones into lessons, or just commiserate together.
I also try to point out ways to be more grateful through life examples. When we’d give a ride to a neighbor who just said “Bye” without a thank you, I’d turn to my kids and say, “You guys always say thank you when someone drives you, right?” When my nephew would thank us multiple times for a ride, I’d point it out too. “Isn’t it so nice how he shows his gratitude?” [I’ve noticed my kids really pick up on it when someone else doesn’t act grateful. They definitely seem to reserve their “best selves” for others — I’ve had people tell me how polite and appreciative they are, and I think they’re more vocal with that gratitude when it’s not directed at their mom!]
Q. How does running a business together affect your shared sense of gratitude and teamwork?
Running a business is kind of like running a family or a home. It’s a lot of work, but it doesn’t feel like drudgery. It’s just what needs to get done.
Because we’re in it together, it feels natural to be grateful for my partner and all he does for our shared effort. Honestly, I think it’s harder to remember to be grateful for the work our spouses do outside the home, where we don’t see it firsthand.
Q. You exercise daily. How does moving your body help you reconnect with gratitude, both physically and mentally?
When I’m working out, I feel extremely grateful for my body and all I ask of it. I’m grateful for the time to do something I enjoy, for the scenery if I’m outside, and for my workout buddy.
When I’m done, I feel so grateful for how amazing I feel. Exercise is an easy way for me to feel instantly grateful, accomplished, and happy. [Oh, how I wish I shared your love of movement. Teach me your ways, Colleen!!]
Q. What’s the best money you’ve spent so far in 2025, big or small?
I’m going to cheat and go with a big 2024 purchase: my car. I had never bought a new car before, but the deals with lower interest rates made more financial sense than buying used.
In 2025, our goal is to pay off our mortgage, and that will definitely be the best money spent this year. I can’t wait to walk around our completely paid-off house. What will that even feel like? [So exciting — and what a huge milestone! I remember the van saga, so having something new and reliable must feel like a huge weight off your shoulders.]
Q. What are two things you’re objectively terrible at, one you wish you were better at, and one you’re fine with?
Oh gosh, I’m terrible at a lot of things, so I just don’t do them.
I wish I were better at swimming. I’d love to actually use strokes to move through the water instead of just keeping myself afloat.
I’m bad at dancing, but I still love to bust a move, and I’m perfectly fine with that.
Q. What’s the most ridiculous or oddly specific thing you’re grateful for at this exact moment?
My niece just texted me that she got engaged last night! Family wedding coming up, which are the best type of weddings. [Weddings and babies! Both are easier to fully enjoy when they’re someone else’s.]
Q. If your life were a movie, what genre would it be and who would play you?
A romantic comedy, for sure. I married my college sweetheart after meeting him in romantic Austria while I was still dating someone from home (every RomCom needs some drama!). Then we had a whole bunch of kids who keep us laughing.
I’ve been told I look like Melissa Joan Hart, so I guess she could play me. [You totally do! I hadn’t made the connection before, but I can absolutely see it.] But I love Julia Louis-Dreyfus’s TV characters, so I’d prefer her.
Q. What’s the best prank you’ve ever pulled off or had pulled on you?
I hate pranks and hate getting scared. I tell my kids if they scare me, they lose dessert. I frighten very easily, even if someone sneaks up on me unintentionally. When it happens, you’ll hear another kid yell, “You just lost dessert!” to the sneaky offender. [This is genius.]
Q. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go and why?
Switzerland. It was on my list of countries to visit when I studied abroad in college in 2000, and I didn’t get to go. It’s been a regret ever since, so I’d like to finally check that one off. [Wait, can I join? We’ll make sure to connect with Catrina!]
Q. If you had to pick a personal superpower, what would it be?
Teleportation. I’m too scared to fly on a plane now, and that really limits my travel dreams.
Q. Quickfire Round:
- Introvert or extrovert? Introvert
- Savory or sweet? Savory usually, plus ice cream
- Morning lark or night owl? Late-morning seagull? [This might be the best answer I’ve ever gotten to this question. A late-morning seagull — yes! I think that’s me, too.]
- Toilet paper: over or under? I honestly do not care, as long as it’s replaced! [In a house with that many kids, FAIR ENOUGH.]
Thanks so much, Colleen. It was a delight to read your answers and I am so impressed by your positive spirit. It really shines through in your answers. And this was a great reminder that whether we’re raising one kid or seven, there’s beauty to be found in the ordinary “this is the point” moments.
Now it’s your turn!
- Do you have a question for Colleen?
- What’s your personal “Speed Queen” — the small but mighty item in your home you’re especially grateful for?
- If gratitude were an ice cream flavour, what flavour would it be and why?
- Do you have a family ritual — like High-Low around the table — that helps build connection or gratitude?
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Wow, Elisabeth and Colleen – what a fantastic read! Colleen’s answers are so warm, grounded, and inspiring. I especially love that bedroom sign: “I still remember the days I prayed for the things I have now.” Such a beautiful reminder to be grateful for both the big milestones and the everyday moments.
And Colleen, if you ever make it to Switzerland despite your fear of flying, please reach out! I’d love to be your tour guide!
Quick question: what’s the story behind the second photograph, the graduation ceremony?
Hi Colleen! Great post! You do grateful so well!
Hi Colleen.
– I’m curious how you organize family chores (is there a schedule? does everyone have specific jobs).
– How do you meal plan (and find time to cook) with a full-time job and so many children.
– What’s your favorite ice cream treat at the Ice Cream Cottage?
I had also never heard the term “comparing down” before but I have certainly done it!
I like the high/ low thing – we used to do “three good things” at the dinner table which I started during a very stressful period in our lives. Lately we have been doing “this or that” like, would you rather, but in a good way (choosing between two cakes, for example.)
My kids are ALL ABOUT Would you Rather type questions. It’s so fun and feels a bit magical. Even though the questions are almost always hypothetical, it gives them a sense of freedom and choice and expansiveness.
Switzerland – wow, you lucky duck! I keep praying to get over my fear of flying one day. I used to be able to, though I never loved it, so I have hope that once I don’t have so many kids depending on me I will be able to try again?!? The second photo is from my son’s high school graduation, and my husband is a teacher there so he wears the gown at graduations, as do all the teachers.
MBMOM11 – thank you!
I’m curious about what you’re most grateful for as a daughter. How did your own parents work to instil gratitude in you (and your siblings if you have any)?
What’s the hardest aspect of parenting a big family?
What are your goals/hopes for retirement?
SARA – The chore charts have definitely changed through the years, as kids get older and move out, but right now we have “After Dinner Chores” – dishes, sweeping the floor, wiping down the table/counters, putting in/switching laundry – that we randomly assign to who’s there.
We have weekly chores (Saturday mornings) that we all do, and each kid has a specific big chore plus they have to each put away their laundry and clean their room. the big chores are: vacuuming the stairs, cleaning a bathroom, and mowing the lawn. My husband cleans the showers and dusts and I vacuum and mop.
OK that was probably more info then you wanted 🙂
Meal planning was under my domain for all of our marriage until I got so burnt out by all the other mental tasks I am responsible for and asked my husband to take it over a year ago. He makes the plan and grocery shops and cooks most nights because he’s home from work before me, and I love it! We do discuss meals for the week while we walk the dog, but then he totally takes control.
I love Vanilla Soft Serve with mini M&M’s from the Cottage.
Love learning more about the division of labour (which always fascinates me)!
NICOLE – Your dinners sound fun! My kids love those kind of questions but I’m not good at them because I never want to do either choice!
I like the idea of comparing down – I had not heard it phrased that way either!
I know her kids are pretty young but I’m curious if she thinks any of them will take over the family business? My parents owned/ran a business when I was a child but it was a service business (Electrical/HVAC company) so we had a business phone that rang in our house at all hours. I knew I was never going to take over that business or start my own! Ultimately my sister’s husband ended up taking over the business, though, although I don’t think she ever anticipated that happening.
The speed queen of our house is probably our Instant pot. We use it so much. I love that it results in very few dishes and it makes the best, most easy-to-peel hard boiled eggs! We are heading into IP season as we love eating lots of soups/stews/curry dishes in the fall/winter.
Do I need an Instant Pot? One of our slow cookers just broke and I’m wondering if instead of replacing it, I should just get an Instant Pot…
STACY – My dad was an immigrant from Ireland who came here at 19 with $50 in his pocket and my mom’s parents were also immigrants who were dirt poor. They all worked so hard to “make it” in America and were so grateful for the opportunities they had here. My parents never went to college (my dad was a builder and my mom was a nurse) but they valued education and made sure we all were able to achieve our goals. I have two siblings who are medical doctors, one lawyer, one nurse, me (an accountant) and a website designer. We all worked in the ice cream shop growing up and learned the value of hard work and the rewards it brings, and I was so thankful for those life lessons that I wanted to raise my kids the same way.
The hardest part of having a big family is the logistics. My kids all do sports and getting them to/from practices and games takes a weekly spreadsheet and a lot of patience!
My goal is to retire as soon as possible 🙂 Realistically I will be working until my baby graduates college in 13 years, which will make me 59 years old. My husband will keep teaching for as long as he can. He loves it!
Wow! What a legacy! $50. That is a made-for-movie story.
I hadn’t heard of the “This is the point” trend, but I love it! It reminds me of what I try to do periodically when I’m interacting with my daughter- I’ll stop for a moment and think, “this is it.” As in- this is my time with her, it’s not going to last forever, be aware of each moment instead of rushing to the next thing.
I think you have to be an optimist to have seven kids!!! I loved this post. Very inspirational, and I love all the photos of Colleen’s beautiful family!
What a treat to find Colleen here this morning! I have read your blog for years Colleen and I don’t know that I’ve ever commented. (In my defence my blogger commenting account (joymariecooks) seems to only like to work on Ernie’s blog and occasionally one or two others. This is probably a tech issue on my end. I’m always wanting to comment though!)
Anyway, I love your blog and loved this post. So many great words of wisdom. I especially liked comparing down. What a great way to reframe comparison.
Commenting on “Blogger” blogs is tricky! Some don’t work for me, either. I’m so glad this post managed to reconnect you both in fresh ways.
JENNY – You’re right, this IS it! I don’t know if you need to be an optimist to have 7 kids, but I do think I was more of an optimist when I was younger and more naive about the world, so that tracks!
LISA – So my parents had a homemade ice cream shop(s) for 20 years on Cape Cod and none of us 6 kids took it over because we were busy having our own careers/kids at the time they sold it. But then I opened a store 3 years ago to give my kids the same experience I had growing up and we often regret not being able to have taken over the Cape Cod shops, but timing made it impossible. My second oldest son is 20 and he’s a Nursing major but he loves the shop and has a really great business mind so he’s thinking about getting his MBA and somehow taking it over one day while working as a nurse too. And yes, we love our Instant Pot too! IP Season made me laugh 🙂
Okay. Two votes for the IP. I think I might have to cave and finally get one. And since my second slow cooker is broken, I have the space in my cupboard…
MARIA – Hello!! Thanks for being a loyal reader, I used to read your blog all the time but you don’t write anymore, do you? Oh wait I just googled and found Vegan Husband, Omnivore Wife…is that you? Exciting!
I found Colleen’s blog through yours Elisabeth, and love reading it!
I love the idea of comparing down! I can get in my head whenever we’re at someone’s new or newish house, because every house we’ve lived in has been pretty old (and not in a historic, cute way!).
I agree Elisabeth, I’m impressed by Colleen’s exercise habits… eek. I want to exercise, but I just… don’t. I live a pretty active lifestyle, but I haven’t been to a gym or formal exercise setting in years.
Yay! I love how the blogging world helps form so many connections <3
KATIE – Thank you for reading. Don’t be impressed by my love of exercise, it has a lot to do with keeping my anxiety at bay and just feeling competent overall. I love to eat, so nobody can tell by looking at me that I workout daily 🙂
We’re still impressed!
Melissa Joan Hart! Now, I can’t unsee that. 🙂
I’ve always admired Colleen and the way she handles so much, with so much grace. She’s a lovely mother and wife, and business owner—so many hats! She’s raising her kids to be the loveliest humans.
I also think the Comparing Down is such a great life motto, for us all.
I’m also easily scared (even in public, at the grocery store–What the heck?) I wonder if I can tell the produce manager at Publix that he gets no dessert, because he walked up behind me and asked if I needed anything?
I love, love, LOVE looking for celebrity lookalikes, so this is so far up my alley it’s practically inside the front door.
I vote you try it on the produce manager and see what he says 😉 Please report back!
That is me! I post sporadically. There are at least seven half-written posts in my head or in my drafts folder though. I feel honoured you used to read!
This was such a great post. Colleen is always full of great wisdom, and I may be older than she is – but I truly look up to her wonderful example. She’s an inspiration, and I wish she lived on my culdesac (and that her ice cream store was down the street – those two rearragements would be something to be grateful for). I love the dinner table discussions and the drive to school chats. Comparing down is also a great way to frame our own place in the world and the blessings we have.
Our Speed Queen might also be our Speed Queen. Love that washing machine, but aside from that I’d say one of my fleet of crockpots (I own four and I’m not afraid to use them simultaneously) or my laptop, because I drag it into the family room in order to do my strength workouts.
My SIL gave us a stack of cards called Talking Points when the foster girls moved in with us and we occasionally pull them out and pick a few during a meal, or when we’re on a long car ride. I bet our everyone talking at once dinner conversations would’ve been much more organized back in the day if we’d had everyone say a high/low.
If ice cream were gratitude I’d say it would be Moose Tracks for me, because there’s no gluten in it and it is so yummy that it is a real dessert for me.
My question: When will you come visit Chicago? (you can drive if you don’t like to fly – ha).
Okay, I laughed out loud at you calling it a “fleet of crockpots”…that is too funny!!!
I was very convinced we did not need an instapot. My husband wanted one and found a secondhand one. I now find it indispensable. If you’re on the fence, you should try it and use it for a few months and see how you like it! They’re usually available secondhand pretty easily. Its slow cooker function isn’t great, but the other functions are awesome
I think you and Lisa may have convinced me…
ERNIE – I think you were the one who inspired me to get the Speed Queen, so thank you! I also wish we lived in the same cul-de-sac, I know we would be fast friends as would our kids. I feel honored you called me an inspiration, but that is true in reverse, especially going through your adoption journey, well I’m just in awe!
SUZ – Definitely no dessert for him! And thank you for your lovely comments, I don’t feel like I match up to your words but I will keep trying!
Gah I wrote a comment yesterday and it looks like it never posted for some reason! And now I don’t remember what exactly I said. 🤪 I know I talked about how I am constantly in awe of people who manage big families because most of the time I’m barely keeping my head above water with my 2 + dog + husband + house + job!! Lovely post and I agree with everyone else above that Colleen’s blog is great! So fun to read!
so late to this party but I LOOOOVED the quote about comparing down, not up. I will keep that with me!
I just wrote a comment but it disappeared
I love ya Colleen
Longtime weekly reader who can’t leave comments on your blog
-mom of 4 teens in NC
Sorry for the missing comment; thanks so much for stopping by!
Along with the ” best thing/worst thing” we had a “magic refrigerator.” When opened it would contain the food we wanted most. Mine was usually banana splits!
A magic fridge. That’s such a cool idea! I’m going to do that with my kids.