Friends. As I mentioned yesterday, I am feeling scattered lately.
While Belle finishes up at a birthday party I have decamped to Starbucks (help — what monster am I creating?!), and I decided it was time for a good, old-fashioned brain dump. In absolutely no particular order, here goes…
BLOG STUFF
- There’s a whole schmeozzle happening with Google Consent settings that’s completely tanked my ad revenue. I’m not blogging to get rich — my goal is to cover hosting fees — but overnight (literally), my income was cut in half. It’s a known issue, but because I’m on the lowest tier of Mediavine’s ad program, there’s limited support. Frustrating! Especially since I keep my ad density low because I know how annoying they can be.
(A little PSA: if ads ever bother you, they don’t appear in Feedly or if you use an ad blocker. I’m often shocked to discover some blogs even have ads because I never see them!)
- I’m also trying (again) to rein in my commenting habits. I love connecting with readers, but it can become its own little time sink. So I’m working on letting go of the guilt and engaging more sporadically.
- I am loving the engagement within my Patreon community, but I want/need to invest more time in making it feel a little more…cozy?
ROUTINES (OR LACK THEREOF)
- I thrive on routines, and right now…I don’t have many. John’s frequent work trips throw things slightly off-kilter, and the kids have fewer extracurriculars this year, which somehow makes us more disorganized. Next week we start back to 2x/weekly soccer practice and while I’m dreading two more evenings out a week, maybe it will help me settle into a better rhythm?
- I love our staggered mornings (Indy leaves/arrives home almost an hour before Belle), but it means my solo work window is only about six hours — less than it sounds when you factor in chores and distractions. I’ve been terrible about phone pickups lately. It seems extra irresistible, and I fritter away time at an alarming rate. I really need to block off chunks of time for housework, paid work, and blog work instead of letting it all blur together.
SLEEP WOES
- I usually fall asleep easily and stay asleep, but my deep sleep (which I can measure thanks to Oura) is terrible, which helps explain how I can wake up after eight hours of sleep and still feel exhausted. (The level of deep sleep doesn’t seem linked to any naps I might take, though one of the reason I need naps is likely because of my lack of deep, restorative sleep.)
A few things I plan to try:
- Take more magnesium (I take it a few times a week but I could increase the amount and take it daily)
- Try taking melatonin
- Investigate sleep apnea (though my Oura data for breathing irregularities looks fine)
- Lower the room temperature
- No screens in the two hours before bed (this one will be tough when John’s home because we like to unwind with a show like GBBO most nights)
- Don’t go to bed until I’m ready to sleep which means I probably should move my “bedtime reading” to the living room (which makes me sad because I LOVE reading in bed…)
FOOD
- On paper, I should have tons of time to make balanced meals. In reality? Not so much. I’m tired of cooking and rebel against meal plans, but I need to get back into planning mode. I don’t LIKE flying by the seat of my pants. Some of the problem is the kids have taken to getting pickier. Which, ultimately, is on me. We are a “what’s on the table is what’s available” and I just need to ignore complaints and make what I want to make!
- I used to make soup every Sunday and it was the best. Time to bring that back!
Also:
- I need to have pre-cut veggies so I can easily incorporate veggies into every meal.
- For the love of all that is good, I NEED TO STOP SNACKING. I don’t feel hungry for breakfast when I get up, so I eat mid-morning and then snack all afternoon. Blergh.
HOUSE
- We tend toward minimalism, but even so I feel like my skin is crawling from how quickly things accumulate. Everything is made worse because we’re between seasons and I feel like we need summer, fall, AND winter clothes right now.
- We need to get a few bedrooms painted and the hallway is a disaster, but Indy has recently started playing mini sticks in the hall again which means there is NO point in painting the walls. Also, the paint is starting to chip off the tile in our bathroom. The previous home owners painted over baby blue retro tile before we moved in so it’s lasted a long time, but the chips are bugging me.
- We had the caulk replaced in our bathtub, but I didn’t micromanage (gold star?) and the handyman used CLEAR waterproof caulk instead of white, so it looks like it’s still cracked (though it’s not), but it’s harder to tell if and when it is cracked and leaking again.
- I need to clean my shower. And mop the floors. But I don’t wanna…
CHRISTMAS (ALREADY??)
- I haven’t started, and I don’t want to. The gifts, the decorations…all of it feels overwhelming.
- We usually do a hide-and-seek treasure hunt for the kids, but I have zero ideas this year.
- Photo cards? I love the finished product, but between the cost, Canada Post delays, and lack of family photos, I just don’t want to do it. Maybe this is the year to skip it? Then again, it’ll be the first time since Belle was born. Cue the guilt.
- As for the annual photo calendars for our parents — they love them, but I’m just not feeling it this year. Thankfully, John offered to take that one on.
BIG LIFE DECISION
We’re weighing some major decisions right now (more to come once I can share!). It’s a lot.
My plan is to tackle it like eating an elephant, in tiny bites. I think taking three concrete actions each week sounds reasonable. Manageable and steady progress. But first I have to break things down into very manageable chunks, and right now that feels overwhelming.
BOOKS
This is the silliest kind of overwhelm, but my to-be-read pile is out of control. Holds always seem to come in at the same time, and I haven’t carved out much reading time lately. A good problem, but still a problem. It is stressing me out because I WANT to read all of the books I have piled up.
PARENTING
- There has been some angst from both kids lately and I’m just weary of parenting. They’re great kids, but also, sometimes I just really want a break!
- One child, in particular, has taken to complaining about picking up their room. I ask maybe twice a week and it is irking me. These expectations are NOT overboard. It is not too much to ask for you to make your bed a few times a week.
MISC
- I had my second-ever keratin treatment (at a different salon with a different product)…and still no lasting effect. My hair refuses to cooperate. In general, I just hate having to deal with hair. This ended up being a very expensive haircut.
- I am a makeup minimalist and my favourite foundation stick has been discontinued. Whyyyy? Why must they do this? (Maybelline Fit Me stick which always had mediocre reviews but I loved!)
- I lost the backing to one of my favourite earrings. Minor, but irritating.
- I stopped writing in my 5-year journal. I might re-start it at the beginning of 2026. It feels like a relief but, also, like a failure.
- Someone close to us was scammed this week, and it’s been unsettling, even though things are (thankfully) being resolved.
My time is almost up!!! So that’s where I’m at: a little overwhelmed, a little tired, but also strangely hopeful. Writing it all down while sipping my Starbucks latte makes it feel less onerous.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading my jumble of thoughts. I’m guessing I’m not the only one who feels like their brain is a tangled mess some weeks???!!!
Your turn:
- When you feel scattered or overwhelmed, what helps you reset?
- Have you ever given up a tradition (like Christmas cards) even though it made you feel a bit guilty?
- Any suggestions for how to boost my deep sleep numbers?
- Who has a great stick foundation recommendation?
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When you feel scattered or overwhelmed, what helps you reset?
Time alone, writing and making lists. Capturing what needs to be done and making a plan.
Have you ever given up a tradition (like Christmas cards) even though it made you feel a bit guilty?
Yes, many times. Christmas cards. Longest night celebration on December 22 (winter solstice). Apple picking. We may do it again but it’s so bloody expensive: you pay a fee to go into the orchard and you pay for the apples. Kind of ridiculous.
Any suggestions for how to boost my deep sleep numbers? Not really since I struggle myself. I take magnesium almost every night but it used to give me some wacky dreams :/
I think I haven’t had a lot of dedicated time alone to just…think. Ruminate. Plan. Get things out of my head an onto paper. But I am going to be more deliberate about carving out this time.
Maybe even play around with some daily “schedules” to create some better boundaries around my time.
AND I MUST have the kids do more around the house again.
Breaking things down and making a list of must dos helps me when I’m feeling overwhelmed. It also helps to block off sometime to handle the things I’m feeling overwhelmed about. I do holiday cards in years when I have the bandwidth and feel inspired to. I also do the minimum viable product which last year was a card with only one photo on it and only sent to family and close friends.
I hope some of your strategies for these nagging areas pay off and you feel better soon.
I think sometimes I can spend too much time making the lists and not enough time actually doing the things. So this is a great reminder to actually carve out time to DO THE THINGS!
I don’t feel like I have the bandwidth this year but…we’ll see. I think I also get stuck in this loop of thinking if I don’t have my cards ready, addressed, and sent by the end of November I’m late.
When I’m scattered, I make a paper to do list and try to get one concrete thing done instead of frittering away my energy in anxiety.
I have given up Christmas cards and holiday baking for the neighbors. I just can’t anymore. Maybe one day I’ll do it again.
The magnesium sounds like a great idea- they even have creams you can rub in rather taking more pills. I bought an expensive one for my husband, who promptly forgot to use it. But my neighbor said it worked well for her.
I don’t wear make up any more, so I can’t help you there!
Hang in there!
Yes, I need to just cross some things off my list. I’m hoping next week is a productive one!
I don’t bake anymore…at most, I give neighbours some nice chocolates.
I’m behind on annual photobooks and debating not doing them anymore. Eeks. I feel bad even thinking about it but also how documented does our life need to be? We will send photo cards but I need to get a pic of the boys together. I should do it after church tomorrow. I hate having a nagging task hanging over me.
I hope your sleep improves! Not getting deep sleep really impacts a person. I take magnesium every night. I would def start there! And I don’t think you should worry about tv screen time before bed. I think it’s worse to be on your phone/exposed to blue light.
As far as what I do when I feel overwhelmed – I try to delegate or say no to things I can potentially get out of. And I try not to overcommit in the coming weeks. To do lists and figuring out when something actually needs to be done helps!!
I will definitely do photobooks…but I don’t dread those. It’s the photocard that just makes me feel dread. There are so many choices and of course then I need to narrow down the pictures. Gah. I could just not do it, though, and maybe that’s the right answer this year!
I’m on my phone sometimes, too. Giant demerit 🙁
My theory is it’s just a weird shoulder season and everything is slightly off (it might even be why the kids are more complainy). And everything is worse without restorative sleep.
Every now and then I think I should take a run at sleep hygiene, but reading in bed is one of the great joys of my life and I don’t think I can give it up.
We have some left-over pre-cut veggies from Thanksgiving and I am LOVING it. Definitely need to just make it a thing.
Sending good wishes for the routine to feel better soon.
I love your theory and it makes me feel much better!!!
I love reading in bed. It makes me sad to think of not doing it (but I think Nicole doesn’t, right?)
Anyhoo, maybe I’ll give it a go for a week and see what happens? Worst case scenario, nothing improves and then you better believe I will add reading in bed back into my routine.
Although many of the specifics are different for me right now , the whole spirit of the post and overwhelm is VERY close to home right now. Hugs.
When I’m overwhelmed I’m prone to spinning my wheels for a bit, feeling really Stressy About It All and then ultimately make a list and start doing the elephant eating thing. Usually just writing it out and seeing it on paper helps me a lot because it’s not all just jumbled about in my brain with the added weight of trying to not forget anything. I then tend to start on a couple of the smallest/easiest/fastest to accomplish tasks in order to get the feeling of achievement and getting things done rolling, which I find very motivating. Even if those aren’t the most important or critical tasks, they set the mood for me back to “I can do this! Things ARE getting done!”
A few additional thoughts:
Christmas is over two months away!!! You have plenty of time to get everything done and plenty of time to get in the mood for it. Maybe you’re not in the mood for it because it’s just too early?
Re photo cards – a cheaper version of the photo card could be to print out a picture as a normal photo print and have a short typed note you can add a little bit to as needed for each recipient. One of my mom’s cousins used to do that and it still felt really fun and festive to get. I love Christmas cards and it was SO SAD last year to not send any due to the strike. We’ll see about this year.
Good for you for not doing the line a day journal if it’s not serving you well! It’s hard to give something like that up, but can be really freeing. Likewise, if commenting and replying to comments is too much, don’t worry about stepping back a bit. We all know everyone else is super busy too and no one is going to be offended!
Like you, I feel like I almost HAVE to spin my wheels? It’s part of the process of me getting things back in order?
Love your comments about Christmas. For some reason I feel like I’m behind when of course I’m not. Why?? Maybe it’s because Christmas things are out in stores now. Can we just enjoy fall for a few minutes?? Such a good reframe that it’s too early to worry about Christmas!!
You definitely earned the SBUX today!
I remember the switch back and forth as the boys went from the same to different morning schedules. It was really nice to have the one on one time, but the mornings were definitely longer.
I’m right with you in that I DON’T WANT TO COOK RIGHT NOW. I mean, every few days I get the notion but for the most part NOOOOOO!!! There is just no winning at this game. If I use pantry staples dinner is easy but it also gets boring pretty quickly. It doesn’t help when certain little people are critics of everything that you do. Of course the right thing to do is to ignore them, but it’s hard to ignore criticism for an entire meal – ask me how I know. When they start paying for and buying all of the groceries and cooking all of the meals then they can have input into what gets made (yeah, I was never able to get this point across in my own house either but a girl can dream).
Don’t even get me started on the Snack Monster. I feel like I’m finally better able to think before I eat and to distract myself away from the kitchen in the afternoons, but that’s after years of being out of control. It started back when I was still running and was hungry all the time, and then it kind of became a way of life while I was coping with work/life stress.
If it makes you feel better, I have always wanted to do personalized photo cards for us, and just never got around to it. We usually end up getting whatever the drugstore has at the last minute. This year my goal is to be a little more intentional and get something that I really like and will enjoy sending out.
I do realize the kids will have a new appreciation for food once they have to buy and prepare it. For the most part they’re good about things…but grumbling has definitely made regular appearances lately and I am NOT A FAN!
I definitely am finding myself eating mindlessly. Sigh. It’s so frustrating and then of course I’m not very hungry at supper time but everyone else is. But the last few days have been a bit better. I’ll have an energy-dense snack (like a handful of nuts) and that helps me tide the gap to supper.
I started doing soups on Sunday too! I liked having it made ahead, so when we got home from church, it just needed to be heated. Then over the summer I started doing pasta salads on Sundays instead. But recently I’ve been craving soups, so back to that!
You might be able to still find your favorite foundation on ebay or somewhere like that. You can often get new in package products.
When I’m overwhelmed things that help me are:
– Praying – Specifically taking it all to the Lord, and thanking Him for what He’s done. This helps me get things in better persective.
– Cleaning/decluttering at least part of the house.
– Time alone
– Writing
I made a soup this afternoon and it’s in the fridge and ready for supper tomorrow night. I am SO excited!!! It feels so good to have that done so I don’t have to do anything but warm it up tomorrow evening. Tomorrow me will be so happy!!
The reminder to pray is so important and too often I’m guilty of overlooking this step. Thanks for centering my focus <3
Like you, cleaning/decluttering, having time alone, and writing are KEY for me to getting back to normal.
You’ve had a lot going on, so it’s no wonder you’re tired and need to write down and organize your thoughts. I love to write things on paper too – it helps me sort things out. And it’s very satisfying to cross off things that I get done, or decide aren’t that important after all.
I’d say the postal strike is a legitimate reason not to spend extra money on photo cards. Who knows what will happen? I love looking at and choosing boxes of cards – and they can be used the next year if I end up with too many! (I’m guessing Thrifty Elisabeth is saying an enthusiastic YES to that idea!) Oh my goodness, does your thrift store ever have Christmas cards? That would be the ultimate win!
Organizing things really helps, too! Sometimes it’s a big jumble in my head, but usually it boils down to a few categories and it helps to “lump” things so I can get a bigger picture idea of what I need to tackle at home, with parenting, etc.
You know, I almost NEVER see Christmas cards at the thrift store (why???) BUT I always, always buy Christmas cards at the end of one holiday season so they’re much less expensive.
I hate when my makeup is discontinued! So irritating and it’s impossible to find an equivalent most times. I take two kinds of magnesium daily and I believe it works. Citrate and glycinate. I’ve tried melatonin and I swear it gives me bad dreams.
I gave up making tons of Xmas cookies. We don’t need them and it’s a hassle. I also stopped the photo card for 10 years and then reinstated it last year for our first family vacation since my kids have married.
A great reminder, I can push pause on the photocard and then do it again another year!!!
I took melatonin last night and didn’t notice anything in terms of dreams but I will be on the lookout for that.
I used to take citrate, but now just take bisglycinate, but I should maybe think about using both??
Bijoux – melatonin absolutely can give you awful dreams! My mom has sleep issues and she tried melatonin and said it was absolutely awful. Then she looked into it and yup, it can cause intense and vivid nightmares.
Interesting!! (And too bad…argh!)
I feel like I could’ve written so much of this! (Right down to the Starbucks, lol). I always reset with a tidy house and some time to myself to rest… but that is often hard to come by.
But for the guilt on the 5 year journal and Christmas cards… no! Please don’t feel bad! I also don’t want to send out Xmas cards this year. It just feels awkward and weird with my dad gone. But I was thinking I would still take a picture of the kids dressed up in Christmas outfits and save it in our stack of cards as if I sent a Christmas card out. Just an idea!
Tidying and time alone gives me so much life! But it can be hard to get (and of course tidy houses never stay tidy). I should have some solo time this week and might use a bit of that time to tidy.
Love the idea of taking a picture and putting it in the stack. You can keep up a streak but with a lot less cost and stress.
sorry to hear that you feel scattered lately. You’ve had a lot! while hosting friend is super fun, it could be overwhelming as you want to fit as much as possible. So maybe take few days/weeks off from to-do mindset? to recharge? when I feel this one, few things I do that is mostly surrounded by simplify and less switching between mental activities:
1. less phone, more reading. my mind calms down with focused reading for extended period
2. go for a walk/run to let the mind flow
3. mental break from tackling to do, delegate if possible.
4. meal prep or take out, the easier the better
5. protect sleep no matter what, no screen 2 hours before sleep makes a huge difference.
Yes! I definitely need to spend less time on my phone. Or at least, I need to be handling it less. I HATE how often I find myself picking it up in the run of a day. That said, I feel like I get SO many texts and a lot of them are time sensitive. It’s such a conundrum in modern communication…
Deep sleep woes are the worst – I totally get it, Elisabeth!
I actually find that bedtime reading really helps me drift off, so moving it out of the bedroom would feel like a loss. Everything else on your list sounds like solid experiments though; lowering room temperature and no screens before bed can definitely make a difference.
I find that a lot of outdoor exercise during the day also helps.
Hope one of these tweaks helps you finally get that truly restorative sleep!
I would hate to get rid of reading in bed. Maybe I’m not ready to experiment with that yet???
I will definitely report back <3
I could relate to so much in this post, Elisabeth. I have been feeling rather scattered too. Maybe it’s the time of year? I love making lists and I find it helps me greatly. If I don’t have time (or just don’t have the will) to do something that needs my attention, knowing it is on the list for later keeps me calm about it somehow, lol. And I send wayyy less Christmas cards out than I used to. Postage has gone through the roof!
You’re making me feel better! Maybe it is the time of year? Let’s go with that 😉
Postage is CRAZY. I cannot believe how expensive stamps have become. It really is a big financial commitment to send a giant stack of cards these days.
YUP. I am feeling so scattered too. The things we have most in common, I think, are the parenting woes (things are SO challenging this school year) and my complete and utter disinterest in anything holiday adjacent. No helpful advice, but plenty of solidarity.
I hope your big decision has come with the relief that often follows choosing a path — even if the path is windy and full of potholes. xxoo
I appreciate the solidarity just as much as advice, my friend <3
Very windy but no potholes, yet!
Oh wow, ugh, I’d be dying if I were in your shoes right now. Here are my thoughts along with how I’d treat some of this (in the same order as your post):
BLOG STUFF: Your ads don’t show at all (I use DuckDuckGo). Yes, tech is often a giant time suck. Thank you for keeping yours simple (even though I can’t see any!)
I love your commenting habits, but think it would help you to do it the way Kristen does.
It may take awhile to get the Patreon site to feel cozy, although I’m not sure what that would entail or if I’d recognize it. Maybe you could engage more with the Patreon subscribers and back off the regular site. It is the interaction with you that feels “cozy”.
ROUTINES: When you are doing non-internet chores, put the phone away. Just let the pinging and dinging stack up until you are ready to deal with it all on your schedule. There are very few emergencies in life. Let your family know or change the notification sound just for them, if that is what is worrying you about putting the dadgum machine away.
SLEEP: Stop looking at Oura! You KNOW when you aren’t sleeping without that stupid thing nagging you, making you feel as if it is your fault. Also, I’ve heard that magnesium can mess with your digestive system (no details, please!) I wonder if you watch teevee with John instead of looking at your little screens if there would be a difference. Why not lie on the couch reading in the evening if you aren’t sleepy yet? Then you can stagger off to bed when you start yawning. And make sure you are only reading paper books, not ebooks.
FOOD: Just do a little better instead of trying to do it all at once.
HOUSE: Make a list, prioritize, and then just chip away at it. Maintenance never goes away. Sometimes it nags at me, and sometimes I tell it to shut up and I just pick up a book. So there, House.
CHRISTMAS: The gift shopping can wait and it is way too early to decorate or even think about it. The cards can be skipped. The treasure hunt can be skipped. Yea, John, for taking over the calendar!
BIG LIFE DECISION: Sounds as if you have this handled perfectly.
BOOKS: I know just what you mean about all the holds. Sometimes when the stack is too high, I rearrange it by when the books will be due. Sometimes when the stack is too huge, it causes me to do triage, and some of the books get returned without reading. Nobody dies or gets cancer from not finishing a book (or not opening it).
PARENTING: I know nothing, except that it is hard and suddenly it is over.
MISC.: Never heard of keratin. A wise woman once told me that we have to just submit to our hair instead of trying to force it to be something it doesn’t want to be.
I use Laura Geller powder on my face instead of foundation and it is magic. (Learned about it from my older sister, and yes, you can be adopted into The Sisterhood!) Very subtle and non-made-up looking—it just makes my skin look better.
I HATE losing things. It nags me, worries me, annoys me. Causes me to major in the minors.
You are the only one who cares if you complete your 5 year journal. Who says the years have to be consecutive?? Who is the boss of that book??
Scams are scary.
I hope this all sounds helpful and not bossy!! This is just the way I talk to myself when my brain gets tied into a knot.
This was all tremendously helpful! Thank you, Jana! I so appreciate all of these insights and need to bookmark this comment when I’m feeling overwhelmed again <3
"Nobody dies or gets cancer from not finishing a book (or not opening it)." This is a great reminder! Very true. Sometimes I let things get "big" in my head that do not deserve to become "big." I need to stop majoring in the minors!
Well, Elisabeth, I think you’re turning into me- feeling scattered and sitting in Starbucks writing blog posts! I HEAR YOU, on all of this- even though my issues are not your issues and vice versa, it sounds like you have a lot going on. There are big things, and also little things which can really add up to a lot of mental load. I hope you feel better about getting it all down- at least it seems like you’re able to identify what’s making you feel so overwhelmed.
Also- not getting enough sleep will REALLY mess everything up. I hope some of your tactics work- you’ll have to report back.
One last thing- I’ve also gotten way behind in my 5-year journal. It’s just sitting on my dresser, staring at me accusingly and stressing me out. SIGH!!!
I feel so much better after doing a brain dump and some concrete pen-to-paper lists.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who has ditched the 5-year journal. It’s a bit sad since I had done it so consistently. BUT, I will also just let my brain take the lead about whether I start back up again in January? Plus, now I have the blog which I feel documents the ups and downs of my life. That said, it’s not nearly as neatly contained (or concise) as a 5-year journal.
I don’t really wear makeup – of if I do it’s very minimal and only in the winter, so no stick foundation suggestion here. I don’t use that.
When I feel scattered, I try to organize my kitchen counter top. I vow not to let it get out of control again, and then – I revert back. Ugh. Usually exercise clears my head and I rarely miss a morning workout, so that helps.
Sorry to hear about your sleep. Could it be something in your diet? I have to take medication to be able to sleep more than 3-4 hours, so I’m not one to know how to cope with that. I’m still hoping to get into Mayo clinic to see if they can figure out what’s actually wrong, so I can go off the medicine, but I do appreciate that it helps calm down my GI system.
Your kitchen counter is my dining room table. It’s a go-to work space for me, the kids spread out and do homework there, etc. We don’t have an island so it’s also our only eating space in the house. I should make it a regular goal to have it completely clear when I go to bed. It’s never HORRIBLE, but there are usually odds and ends sitting on the table and it does irk me.
I think sometimes when there is a big thing looming, it can make even the smallest thing feel overwhelming. Maybe not “overwhelming” as in impossible, but “overwhelming” as in impossible to start. Like I want to devote all my time and mental bandwidth that the one big thing, not to all the little things that keep coming up, and these little things probably wouldn’t phase me any other time – I would deal with them efficiently. But when there’s a big thing, I’m just tapped.
When I feel overwhelmed or scattered, I take a breath, unclench my jaw, make some tea, do a downward dog and then brain dump so I can see what is the ONE THING that needs my attention right then and try to do that for an hour. I’m such a procrastinator though, so of course I am fully contributing to my own lack of focus.
I don’t think we are decorating or getting a tree this Christmas since we’ll be in Taiwan over the holidays. It’s making me a little sad because this will be the second Christmas in a row where we’ll be away. And then I feel guilty for not being more grateful to be able to travel internationally two years in a row…
Have you thought of sending New Years cards? Or even Valentine’s Day Cards? Or lean into it and send a “Just because I didn’t get to it sooner” card? Or a “Hooray the strike is over!” card?
Here’s wishing you calm and clarity soon!
YES, YES, YES!!! It’s hard to focus on all the little things that can/need to be done and are time sensitive because my brain is, at least subconsciously, worrying about tackling the “big” item. I feel so seen, Diane <3
I think it's amazing you're making these special family memories and there will still be lots of time for traditions and trees in future years.
I'm not opposed to sending a Christmas card, I just don't feel like making a photocard. But then it feels lazy and a bit sad because I've done it every year since Belle was born. I have lots of "old-fashioned" cards, but somehow that feels very...old-fashioned now that everyone sends photocards.
Hi Elisabeth
Sorry that you are feeling overwhelmed – sending you a virtual hug. If I was there, it would a long and hopefully comforting hug.
I don’t have any great advice other than to say, you got this. Sitting down, having a coffee and writing a brain dump can be cathartic – it helps you to get your thoughts in order and show where you need to prioritise.
I don’t have children, but thinking back to my childhood, chores were assigned and expected to be done. How else can they be prepared for the far off time that they fly the nest. Could they maybe be tasked with preparing dinner one night a week? It would help you and help them.
Christmas – as someone said to me the other day, we haven’t even had Halloween!!! It is far too early to be worrying about it.
The treasure hunt – ask the kids if they want it and maybe ask them to write a clue or two for each other so they are more involved.
With the cost of postage here in the UK, we have trimmed our Christmas card list down to those we can hand deliver and only post to relatives in Portugal (which costs nearly £2/card!!)
I hope you feel less overwhelmed soon and I know you will get through this.
The brain dump did really help. And all these encouraging comments are just…amazing!!!! I so appreciate the hug and the very wise advice. I love all this practical support! It legitimately helps me solve conundrums.
I was just telling Belle yesterday (when she made cookies; delightful and delicious but not as practical as a weekday meal) that I need to get her started on making family dinners. She will make a few very easy meals, but not consistently.
I cannot get over how expensive postage is these days.
I tend to get overwhelmed and scattered when it’s messy around me, and I’ve had one of those moments lately. I can 100% relate to how fast clutter accumulates. For me it’s very helpful to clean and tidy up my office, because that’s MY space where I’m in full control (my husband clutters the rest of the house and I can’t always catch up). I also need to tidy up my digital files and notes apps now and then because I’m a complete mess with note-writing and have duplicates, notes all over the place etc.
For the rest, taking time to focus on ONE THING helps. And if I get too unfocused during the work day, go for a walk.
With Google, honestly I’ve given up on everything. I don’t believe in SEO anymore because most search engines are dead (unless I search for “where to buy hiking shoes in Cork” or the likes, I get better answers from ChatGPT-like engines) and Google is the worst but sadly the one most people use. For my own websites I only fix up titles, descriptions and make it look good on search results but that’s it.
I had no idea you were running ads! I’m 100% not ashamed of using an adblocker because the internet today is totally unusable without it. I can consider disabling it for certain websites if the ads are unintrusive and don’t disrupt the reading experience.
Oh goodness, do not get me started on the digital clutter. *Screams into void*
I have used an adblocker for years! I have been legitimately shocked to discover certain bloggers I follow have ads!
I get this feeling – I am now back into routine after a super busy few days – you know all about them so I won’t recap here! I DID give up making photo calendars for gifts, because it’s ridiculous now, the kids are grown and although my dad still wants them, it’s silly to do for 20 and 21 year old people!
My parents love them SO much and it is “easy” since I know it’s always going to be a hit. It just feels like a slog.
Then again, I’m overthinking it as I do every single year and when I actually sit down to do it, the stewing is always much worse than the doing.
I’m curious how you’re able to keep up with all the writing and commenting on all your posts on both platforms. That would overwhelm the heck out of me. I can only post once or twice a week because, it’s all a big time suck.
Occasionally, I’ll set my timer for fifteen minutes and tell myself I can only read and comment on blogs for that amount of time, then walk away and do something necessary.
For the life of me, even when I block ads, they still pop up—not sure why my Mac is mad at me.
Big life decisions are never fun. We’re currently in a big one, and it’s the reason I’m not sleeping well. (Ok, I never really sleep well) So I have no advice for the sleeping part of your question, but I hope you figure it all out sooner rather than later.
Hopefully, writing all this down will take some of the burden off your brain.
It’s a lot!! But I love it and I do think I tend to write (and read) very quickly compared to some people.
Eeks. Sorry the big decision is keeping you awake at night. There are a lot of big things happening in your life right now. A busy, exciting and…I’m sure stressful…season. That said, can you believe you’re going to be a grandmother two times over in the coming months????
Oh same here! We need to make a big life decision but I’ve barely seen my husband in weeks. T is feeling all the big feelings b/c of this big life decision and a family death. Protip: don’t let your 8 year old open a random letter stuck through your postbox. It might be a letter from someone who wants to buy your house, triggering a confession from mum and dad and all the tears.
It’s week 6 of term, reading week next week, but we’ve got to travel to a funeral. I think it’ll ultimately be a really lovely commemoration but I had mentally dedicated the week to catching up on everything on my to do list. Train time, at least? And I feel bad we are asking someone to take our kid for 48 hours.
Weirdly the only thing I’ve made progress on IS photobooks. T is 8… I finally printed off a bunch of photos from my phone, bought some nice albums and some double sided tape, and spent two very cheerful evenings sticking things in. I knew if I had to sit at the computer, I’d not do it or indulge all my perfectionist tendencies. I am going to save them for a Christmas present. A tried to look at them and I told him no as I think T will love looking at them for the first time with all of us. Throughout, I reminded myself that done was betteer than perfect.
This all sounds so intense and overwhelming, Coree. And it’s hard to manage adult emotions (which can be very big) while also helping our kids manage their emotions. I hope you get some relief soon.
Don’t feel bad about having someone watch T. I’m sure it’s the best for everyone and it will be a form of adventure for him. Plus, you need the emotional and practical breathing space.
Yay for photobooks. That is one thing I do each year that I dread in a way but know is a non-negotiable for me. Our photobooks are soooo beloved! And very much yes on the “better done than perfect.” Amen and amen.
You have ads on your blog? I don’t see any. I use firefox as my browser. Poor sleep throws anyone off their game. My sleep has been heaps better since I started HRT (obviously not the answer to your problem), but I had a few bad nights last week, which is probably just due to where I am in my cycle. I think magnesium everyday is worth trying. I have magnesium in my migraine supplement but when I’ve had a big workout or other stress I will often have an extra magnesium tablet and it helps settle down my nervous system. Otherwise I get into bed and I feel jittery.
We dropped Christmas cards ages ago, except for immediate family, but we exchanged them for putting together a highlight video and sending the link to that. Then one year I just couldn’t face doing that even though I had loved doing it (bad year which I didn’t want to relive), so it hasn’t happened since then. The guilt goes away.
I really should talk to my Dr about HRT. I am pretty sure I’m starting the (potentially) long journey of perimenopause. Oh the joy.
Videos STRESS ME out. I have never made a full compilation video and ours sit on our computer and rarely get watched. That has always felt simply too onerous for me to tackle. That said, I feel like surely with AI, I’ll soon be able to dump everything into a program, write a few commands and get an awesome compilation video created for me? Even that sounds like too much work!
Sounds like a tough season and VERY relatable! I think there are always multiple issues present in life with so many moving parts, but there are times when it all feels overwhelming either because our energy is temporarily lower for whatever reason or the sheer volume of tasks has increased – or both! Sounds like there are a lot of extra stressors and I know you’ve had lots on the go.
When I’m scattered or overwhelmed I usually do one of two things (depending on the level of scattered-ness!): either set a timer and blitz through visible clutter/small tasks that make the environment feel more peaceful such as making a phone call I’d been putting off, etc. OR I deliberately slow down all my motions and methodically do the tasks I can SEE in front of me. Honestly, making soup is my favorite way to do this – bonus points if you put on some ambient jazz or something of the like. But I would encourage you try everything else first before giving up on reading in bed!
I know you’ll get your groove back, but it’s tough in the in-between season!
I didn’t even make it one night. I’m like: reading in bed is just…such a luxurious feeling and I love it.
I do so much better when I blast music to get me moving at an accelerated pace to get jobs done. I need to do that this morning. Thanks for the reminder!
Sounds like you’ve been juggling a lot lately. That can easily make one feel scattered (I can relate). Usually what helps me reset is getting good sleep (yup, I realize that’s part of your problem right now), keeping a routine and checking off things “one at a time” (if at all possible) and focusing on one day at a time. We’ll get through this.
Checking off my list has been VERY helpful. I should never underestimate the power of having a list.
When I’m feeling scattered or overwhelmed, I just try to figure out what can be dropped – at least until things calm down. In this season of my life, that has been blogging. So less blogging, less commenting, and I’m just trying to be okay with that, even though blogging brings me so much joy! Reading can sometimes fall to the wayside or even being social. (Tbh, social is probably first to go since I always want to be a hermit and even MORE SO when life is overwhelming, lol.)
I think you have a good list of things to help with deep sleep! I still struggle with it, too, even using a CPAP machine. Report back if magnesium helps!
I got almost a month behind on my One Line a Day journal but I am determined to not give it up, lol. I’m on year 4 and I want to get the whole journal filled in. But I totally understand letting it go during this crazy season of your life!
ME TOO! I love being a hermit, especially when I’m feeling overwhelmed.
I’m so sorry that the CPAP hasn’t resulted in an improvement in deep sleep 🙁