Let’s talk 2025 goals. And, namely, if I should set them.
I was very intentional about not setting goals this year and haven’t regretted that decision for a single second.
On the other hand, when I set 23 goals in 2023 they inspired me to: get laser eye surgery, visit Rome with John, attend various live theatre shows, hang a mirror over our couch, redo one of the kids rooms, buy new bras, make a new friend, and try some new-to-me restaurants. Other years my goals have inspired me to finally try downhill skiing, buy more plants, spend extra time with my parents, run my first timed race (I’m virtually certain I wouldn’t have done this without having listed it as a goal), re-read the entire Anne of Green Gables series, and buy my first pair of hoop earrings.
Goals are good. And I feel like I’m effective at setting goals that are attainable, while simultaneously stretching me. Would I have gotten laser eye surgery, gone to Rome, and made a new friend without having them officially on a list of goals? Probably. But I’m also very confident not everything that I got to cross of my list would have happened without the inspiration – and sheer delight – that comes from crossing something off a list.
I see three main options:
- Set no goals. It worked in 2024. I naturally have drive and ambition. Things will get done – both important and frivolous. The thrill of crossing something off the list might not counterbalance the underlying pressure of wanting to complete even the most trivial of goals…simply for the sake of my own pride.
- Set goals as per normal. That would mean I’d generate a list of 25 goals for the year.
- Set only “fun” goals. I suppose I’d first need to define the somewhat arbitrary designation of “fun.” I’m thinking things like: try Dr. Pepper and blue cheese dressing for the first time, be a guest on a podcast, visit my favourite coffee shop at least 1x/month, meet a blogger IRL.
Three roads diverged in late December in a rural town in Nova Scotia. Which road should I choose?
Your turn.
- Help me think through goal-setting (or not) for the upcoming year!
- Do you set annual goals?
- If so, what are you most proud of accomplishing in 2024 and what’s on your goal list for 2025?
Header photo by Marco Meyer on Unsplash
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J
I don’t really set annual goals, or even quarterly ones. Like you, I get things done without the thrill of crossing off of a list. (I do love a good list, but generally that’s for things I want to get done TODAY.) Of course, setting goals imparts a certain intentionality that is missing in my life. So I might set a goal for something large that I want to get done, like, ‘I want to take a vacation in 2025’. I’m not likely to set a goal to go on a date with my husband, we go out for dinner almost every Friday, and if something else comes up that we want to do, we do it (easy when you don’t have young kids). But if I want to talk to my siblings more often, might I set a goal to make that happen? Perhaps. I guess you have me thinking, is what I’m saying.
Elisabeth
Agreed that I love lists for must-do items, generally for that very day.
I’m similar – there are certain general things that I don’t bother to list. But it can be fun to get more specific with those more routine events. For example, you go on a date with your husband every Friday night, but maybe a goal could be to try five new-to-you restaurants in the course of the year, or to spend the summer trying to find the best pad thai in your area?
Sophie
I am Team Goals! But only if they serve you of course. Perhaps a reframe could help? Could you see them as a menu of ideas youâd like to do, rather than a list that MUST be completed? Thatâs kind of how Iâve come to see my goals⌠Last year Iâm probably most proud of getting the house set up better (rooms more functional, lights all working, dishwasher installed!). And getting a mammogram (recommended over 40 in Australia and I put it off for two years!). But I also achieved things I didnât set a goal for (starting a blog, starting a side business) – so by keeping my goals as ideas only- it leaves room for serendipity and change, minus any negative emotions.
Elisabeth
I love this idea of a “menu”. And I very much do try to see goals are things I want to do, almost never something that MUST be done. “By keeping my goals as ideas only- it leaves room for serendipity and change, minus any negative emotions.” Yes, yes, and yes!
Spoiler alert: I spent three hours at a coffee shop today and part of my time was spent coming up with a game plan for 2025…which will be revealed soon <3
Some of those adult jobs can be so daunting and annoying, so it can really help to set them on a goals list which makes completing them feel even more virtuous. Gold star for all the home work + mammogram + creative achievements with the blog and side hustle.
mbmom11
I think you can handle goals if you want. Your year of reflection has helped you define what is best for your health and sanity. So set goals you think are reasonable or fun/stretch, and know if you don’t meet them, it’s just fine.
Are you really sure you want to try doctor Pepper? For some people it’s addictive, and others find it tastes like cough syrup!
Elisabeth
I think My Year of Shmita will really feed in to how I set “goals” moving forward.
I am curious about Dr. Pepper since I know various people who LOVE it. I am not someone who drinks pop very often, so I am virtually certain it will be a one time culinary adventure! It also doesn’t sound very appealing, so I’m leaning toward the “I’ll think it tastes like cough syrup…”
Steph
I like to set goals of the fun and ânecessaryâ varieties. While I do set annual goals, they are mostly to have big picture direction. I find better success in setting specific quarterly goals.
I appreciate you calling out your own inner motivation. I always thought I wasnât a super motivated person until a friend called me âa woman of actionâ. She changed how I see myself and now I can extol the ways that I am motivated! Hooray for being shown a glimpse of our true selves by people who love us.
Elisabeth
I almost always included some “I know I’ll do it” goals. For years, I ALWAYS listed Print off annual photobook as one of my goals.
“Hooray for being shown a glimpse of our true selves by people who love us.” I think this is especially needed for women. I think we often underestimate our abilities and/or fail to appreciate our many gifts and talents. So yes – it is so helpful and encouraging to hear positive reinforcement from friends and loved ones.
Hannah
I donât usually set new goals. Iâm kind of a âplodderâ so my goal each year is to continue in things Iâve been doing regularly consistently already: running/biking, reading, having consistent time in the Bible, living within our means etc. The only new goal Iâve set the past few years at the start of the year was how many books I hoped to read that year. But I really like the idea of fun goals, I might consider adding a few of those for 2025!
Elisabeth
I like the idea of plodding. Slow and steady wins the race, right? And I think consistency – doing the important and meaningful things over and over – is the path to a fulfilling life.
I also have always set a goal for books each year. But I’m thinking I might skip it this time around? I’m in a reading drought and just don’t feel motivated to set a goal for number of books. That said, I’m sure I’ll end up reading plenty in the span of 2025!
Jenny
I think for myself I’m going with option #3. I’m already disciplined about the things I want to do, and I think if I had things on my goal list that I know I SHOULD do but don’t really want to, it would stress me out. When I reviewed my year, I realized I need to push myself to do more fun things. I’m not sure I’ll be able to come up with a list of 25 though.
I’ll be interested to see what you do!
Elisabeth
I so agree, Jenny.
Sometimes over the years my goals have been dreaded tasks and so it felt like a bit of a cloud hanging over me. Other years they were “fun” but really designed to motivate me to grow. Which is good, but sometimes it’s nice to just…not strive toward anything.
I will be back soon with my list of ideas for the year ahead <3
Kelsey
This is such a worthwhile reflection, and I can understand the motivation for each path (in rural Nova Scotia ha ha). From an outside perspective, it sounds like having a list of things to try to do served you well. But perhaps “goal” feels like too much pressure. I agree with commenters above who suggested instead making it a menu of things you “can do.” I think Gretchen Rubin might use a framing like this for rebels.
I have some similar thoughts for myself lately! I will still make goals but I think I should simplify how many I make for myself. It’s hard because I want to do so much! And I have seen that if I push myself I can take action on things that really matter to me (not just for the sake of crossing something off the list). So I might approach my goals this way: a few solid goals for things that really matter to me and where I want to put effort and attention this year, and then also a list of “can do” things. I can revisit the Can Do list throughout the year and see if I can fit any of them in that month. If so, great! I will be happy I did them. And if not, that’s fine! I’ve realized that I can inadvertently make “fun” things a burden on myself when I assign myself extra things that should be fun but that are one more thing to do on top of my busy life.
I will be interested to see which path you take!
Elisabeth
“Can do” instead of “have to do” is a fun distinction. I think (also a la Gretchen Rubin), I need to “know myself better” and I realize that if I set a list, I want to be able to do just about everything. I get far more satisfaction if they are attainable goals/ideas/plans.
I also relate to fun things starting to feel like a burden, especially if they feel like must dos. I think perfectionist, high-achieving, organized types (I suspect we both veer into these categories) can turn fun ideas into obligations which naturally strips them of fun. It can be hard to strike the right balance…
One thing I did in 2023 which I LOVED was leaving three blank goals; one for each of the final three quarters of the year, to be added upon reflection. I really liked having this flexibility and it meant I could be more intentional about some of my goals because I was creating them after I had already lived a portion of the year.
Lisaâs Yarns
Well you know I took option 2 and 3! 25 fun goals! Or mostly fun goals. Some are things I knew I would do anyways like the pumpkin event at the zoo. Some are new things I wouldnât have tried to take on otherwise like taking the boys to the movie theater twice! I donât want to take on serious goals. Even if I try to view them as a menu, I canât really internalize that and still feel intake pressure and disappointment if I donât achieve it. So this is a happy medium for me. Plus I need more fun in my life. That list already inspired me to rent a cabin at a local state park!
Elisabeth
Wow! I’m so proud of you for acting already on a fun goal. And I am HERE for fun. I ended up spending the afternoon at a coffee shop – alone! – and after a busy week with company and holiday events it felt SO good to sit and reflect. And…I managed to come up with my plan for 2025. Stay tuned đ
Gigi
I SHOULD probably do goals; but know that I won’t. As for Dr. Pepper, I loved the stuff when I was younger and then woke up one day and it tasted like cough syrup. If you don’t drink soda often, you might want to just skip this one.
Elisabeth
It sounds like a common theme that people find it tastes like cough syrup. I am SO intrigued. Though, if I DOES taste like cough syrup, perhaps I’ll only take a sip. Ugh. I despise cough syrup!
Melissa
I will not be doing goals this year because I have my 101 list. I think the longer timeframe works for me. I am happy if I get some of the things on my list done because I figure itâs more than I would have done without the list, but it seems like a list can become a source of pressure for you. If you do decide to go with a goals list donât forget to include regular napping as one.
Elisabeth
Your list is wonderful and I appreciate how flexible it is in terms of timing/order of completion.
So true – I’m likely to do more with a list versus without it; I just have to weigh in the balance any pressure or stress I might feel because of having a goals list.
Joy
Hm…for you I would vote for fun goals because you have a lot of good habits already and it seems that less pressure would likely be one of the most beneficial things you could give yourself. I would imagine there will be a season of hardcore goal setting again in any case.
I have been in a bit of a slump with goals this year and feel the need or maybe just internal pressure for a hard reset. I’m trying to balance the desire for growth with realism about my actual limits, but I guess I test my limits by trying things so we’ll see! At the top of my list this year is skiing from the top of the hill and having weekly planning sessions with my kids. I find we often have one person who missed the memo about various plans – hoping to make life run more smoothly by making more of an effort to keep us all on the same page.
As for Dr. Pepper, if you like root beer you might like it. I love Dr. Pepper and it’s also the only diet soda (pop) that genuinely tastes good to me although I rarely drink either.
Elisabeth
Spoiler alert: that IS what I have gone for <3 I will reveal them all tomorrow.
I agree that less pressure would be good, especially after the last few years that have seen fairly constant stress for me.
You know how I feel about hard resets! They can be so valuable and it can feel cathartic to launch one at the start of a new calendar year. It's such a balancing act - pushing ourselves for positive reasons, but also show grace and gentleness. You can DEFINITELY do the "ski from the top goal" and I'm happy to accompany you on that goal. Weekly planning sessions with the kids sound like a great idea; you already have - and love - your weekly planning sessions so this seems like a logical next step.
I'll report back about my feelings on Dr. Pepper.
Michelle G.
Well, I have a beautiful new planner to use in 2025! (And thank you for it!â¤ď¸) I’m not a fan of resolutions. As soon as I set one, I tend to rebel against it! That being said, I do have a few things I’d like to do in 2025, and the planner will help me keep track of them.
I’m looking forward to seeing what you decide to do!
Elisabeth
Yay for Sprouted planners. I have been filling mine out and am feeling giddy about having a blank slate.
Katy @ Practical Walk
I’ve been thinking through goals and am considering what Crystal @ Money Saving Mom is doing this year. She’s setting monthly goals rather than yearly. I feel like this would make sense for me as we have a lot of unknowns this year. Plus I feel like I’m more likely to get smaller monthly goals accomplished than a far out yearly goals.
Elisabeth
Love the idea of monthly goals (I think a few bloggers do this)…and in 2023 I left a blank goal to be added at the end of each quarter so that a few goals could be more tailored to my situation based on how the year had progressed. I really liked that and found it helpful.
Tobia | craftaliciousme
Well, you know my approach to it â find a word and let that inspire you with all things you do. For me that is goal setting but also finding little nuggets of wisdom from my word in odd places. Maybe just having a word trying to find where it pops up could be some sort of middle ground? I strongly believe if you are attentive things will show up and who knows maybe things get done because you look for your word. Not sure if you can follow.
Whatever you choose to do I am positive it will be the right decision for you. And you can always change gear half way through 2025. You make the rules.
Elisabeth
I’ve tried the “word for the year” and I always seem to forget it, but I have some fun ideas for 2025 and will let you know all about them tomorrow.
Katie
I have been pondering this same question! On the one hand, setting goals- even fun ones (maybe especially fun ones) makes me stress out. But Iâve made those 20 lists in the past I really enjoy thinking through the year and including a mix of nagging tasks, developmental milestones for my kids, personal things, possible family adventures. I made one for 2025 but I think there are only like 20 things on it. And one of them is to sign my daughter up for kindergarten, which would happen anyways! All that to say, I think of those lists as partly a fun memory keeping exercise and not so much hardline goals!
Elisabeth
A goals list has DEFINITELY helped me accomplish some nagging tasks. That said, I did feel pressured to do them. It felt great to accomplish/cross them off the list, but this year – and in 2024 – I was craving something less rigid. It’s a fine line because I want to push myself and get things done but, also, I want to live and let unimportant things slide without making them seem absolutely necessary.
Suzanne
I love the idea of setting FUN goals. Trying Dr. Pepper and blue cheese dressing are excellent goals for 2025!
My personal problem with “real” goal-setting is that I have an all-or-nothing mentality that doesn’t really correspond to reality. And I can be super hard on myself when something doesn’t happen or plans get derailed. I want to find some sort of middle ground, though, because I also dislike floating along with no ambitions!
Elisabeth
I tried blue cheese for the first time this week (my brother and SIL bought some Danish blue at the grocery store). It was…Meh. I’ve tried it and don’t think I’ll need to do that again any time soon.
It is hard to find that middle ground…and I think the middle ground is constantly moving AND can look very different between different people. I believe in you, and also know that regardless of what you choose you’ll accomplish all sorts of great things in 2025 and beyond <3
Ernie
I do not set a list of goals each year, but I do make weekly and daily lists, so I do benefit from crossing things off a list. It never occurred to me that I might try something like setting a goal to meet another couple out once a month (something I enjoy and something we try to do, but often donât allow enough advance warning to make it happen). I would like to set a few writing goals, like finish my first draft of my book before June 1st. Hmm.
I am torn on your behalf. When you said you did not miss having that list for 1 second- I thought there is your answer. But then you went on to list the goals you are pleased with from prior years. Maybe split the difference? Make a shorter list? 25 items might be setting yourself up for frustration.
Elisabeth
Ernie, I would lose my mind if I wasn’t able to make lists every single day. I am a LIST GIRL, all caps.
NGS
Well, as you know, I am a goal setter. I do this because, it turns out, I am VERY LAZY and if I do not have concrete objectives, I will just sit on the couch with my cat. But I don’t think of goals as to-do lists – I think of them as a way for me to set priorities. It is OKAY if I sit on the couch with my cat, but at some point I thought it was a priority to work out, hem my husband’s pants (ha ha ha!), or organize the totes under the beds (HA HA HA!), and so if I’m finding that I am looking for things to do, then those are things I should do. I think some people are better at figuring out priorities without the help of a formal list. You strike me as someone who gets things done without a larger plan. I envy you, but perhaps that’s why you find that writing goals is not particularly helpful for you!
Elisabeth
I think it’s fascinating how goals to one person are priorities and to someone else they are stressful MUST-DOs. I’m in awe of how fastidiously you track things as well. Gold stars.
You know I want to come over and help you organize those totes so maybe hold off until I finally end up in your area đ
Maria
Something I think about when setting goals for the year is âWhat happens if I donât make this goal? Will trying to get there and not quite making it still be progress? Will not meeting a goal be somehow devastating?â Different goals have different answers to these questions for me. I totally the get the to goal set or not to goal set debate! I have set goals and other years havenât. This is a goals year for me. Last year wasnât really.
Happy new year and belated merry Christmas!!
Elisabeth
That was something I tried to think about this year. I don’t want to be disappointed in myself, especially since most goals I could set are arbitrary anyway. Yes, they might push me to do more things but maybe I don’t need the pushing and/or don’t need to do more things?!
I also think it makes a lot of sense to alternate years of off/on with goals. Just because I set goals for consecutive years doesn’t mean I need to do it anymore, yet there can be this sense of having to carry on the tradition. Stopping it entirely last year has made me feel more license to change how I approach it in general.
Central Calif Artist Jana
Dr. Pepper is the only soda that I like, but don’t consume (much, because it is a continual battle) sugar or fake sweeteners. . . sad sigh. And I think blue cheese dressing tastes like something went wrong in the back of the fridge.
Your photo is GORGEOUS. It would make an excellent painting. đ I have done 2 similar scenes, and they were hard, hard, hard. Alas, neither one sold in my recent solo show. Another sad sigh.
Maybe I need to set a goal of only painting things that will sell. Wait, I already have that goal. . . I have zero control over what people might want to buy. And yet one more sad sigh.
Well, that was uplifting. Sorry.
Elisabeth
I haven’t tried blue cheese dressing but I DID manage to try blue cheese last week (my brother and SIL bought some). It was…okay. No need to try it again.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t talented enough to capture that shot (I give attribution at the bottom when the photo isn’t one John or I have taken; in this case Header photo by Marco Meyer on Unsplash).
It must be so hard to put so much love and energy into a work of art and then not be able to control how and when it finds a home in the wide world.
It’s such a fine line between enjoying oneself in a creative pursuit and also being strategic about the business side. Occasionally both worlds align perfectly, but I suspect that’s rare. You are such a talented painter and I hope those paintings find a forever home very soon.
Alexandra
I gave up setting goals and New Year Resolutions a long time since. While certain goals worked at different times in my life, I always found them more of a hinderance to be honest. I do a lot of thing and have done a lot of things in my life on the spur of the moment, maybe impulsively. And, so far, most of the time, it’s worked out great for me. Like taking a job in New York City.
Some people need goals and that kind of structure, I think the way I was brought up made goal setting different for me. Or maybe it happens differently for me, I don’t know. Maybe I have lots of little goals already going on in my life like, I really need to try that flavour of ice cream, or visit that city to see that museum. Things I’ve never really thought of as goals, as in the end, I might end tasting a different ice cream flavour or visiting a different city, but getting the same happiness result.
Does that make sense?
As for goals for 2025? Taking each day as the gift it is.
Elisabeth
Yes. This makes sense and I think I’ve arrived somewhere in your vicinity with my own thought process.
And I can’t think about a better goal for 2025! Each day really is a gift, and another is never promised <3
Alexandra
I think my life has brought me to a place where I try to be more spontaneous and outgoing, saying yes to somethings while having learnt to say no to much more than I use to.
And for me, since my life event in 2016, each and every day is a new gift to me to treasure. Nothing in life is a given.
Stephany
Ooh, this is tough! I really love the idea of setting fun goals, though. If you’re unsure if you’re up to setting more traditional goals, why not a handful of fun ones that you’ll have a good time checking off? I am a huge proponent of setting fun goals.
I am setting goals for 2025 but for the first time ever, I’m leaving a few TBD sections open. I usually have other goals that come to mind mid-year so now I have a spot for them!
Elisabeth
I did three goals for the 2, 3, 4th quarters of the year to be decided based on how the year was going. It was a GREAT decision. I think you’ll love that flexibility. Also, you automatically know you’re not going to be asking yourself to do something 365 days since you’re setting it well into the year. That takes any pressure off daily streaks which I think I may need to drop forever?!
Kyria @ Travel Spot
Since I skipped ahead, I already know what you ended up doing! However, I have not set goals for the last few years, as like you said in your point number one, I am a doer and will get stuff done even without them. However, I do like to have a things I would like to do list, and that is full of fun things just like your list. But these are things that if they don’t get done they are not a stress point, so really it is a win-win situation!
Elisabeth
A “Like to Do” list is a great option. I’ve always liked Laura Vanderkam’s List of 100 Dreams, too. Since there is no firm timeline, it allows you to dream and plan…but without the pressure of a deadline.
Marcia (OrganisingQueen)
Elisabeth, what a lovely thoughtful post. I know what you’ve already decided but I want to still share my thoughts especially as it’s my thing and something I can talk about for hours. I wonder how many posts I have on my blog on just this topic?
I think people can get too “heavy” with goals – they are meant to stretch and be fun. I went through a lot of the “what’s the point?” thinking straight after my BC diagnosis in August, but found that I liked having something to look forward to and that gave me something to stretch towards aside from treatment.
For most people, I think you can make goals fun by putting a few quick wins on the list (like your Try Dr Pepper, I had go to ONE stretch class in 2024) and some things for stretch (exercise 3 times a week is a stretch for me as I have a very busy full-time job). Think read one non-fiction book this year (something like Atomic Habits) vs read a book every month. With the first, you still feel accomplished but it’s still fun. The second is definitely a stretch for 90% of people.
Elisabeth
Yes! I think goals – especially light, fun, whimsical ones, really can help make life feel more fulfilling and exciting. Having something to anticipate and work toward is an important part of human existence and motivation.
I also think that being specific is SO helpful. Like…read ONE non-fiction book is easier to feel settled on since it is concrete vs. a goal to “read more non-fiction.” Also, setting the bar low is helpful. If I say I want to work at my favourite coffee shop once a month it feels very doable. I’ll likely end up doing it MORE than that, but knowing I can do the 1x/month easily.