I’ve been thinking a lot about summer. That makes sense since, here in Canada, we’re on the cusp of school releasing for the summer holiday and the solstice later this week will mark the official shift into Summer.
I felt ready for a break from Happy Things Friday posts, but wanted something similarly uplifting to provide some structure for optimism over the upcoming season.
My answer is a Summer Celebrations series (which will appear randomly – and without warning – over the next few months)!
First, a short reflection on what I want from the next few months.
- I want the kids to have full, busy schedules. Between years of having “under-scheduled” kids at home, followed by COVID lockdowns, and now tightroping some local tensions that make it easier to be off-site during summer vacation, it is time for a busy summer…for the kids.
- I want a relaxed summer for myself. Summers for the last decade have traditionally been exhausting – EXHAUSTING – for me. John used to travel regularly in the summer so I spent a not-insignificant chunk of time solo-parenting (thankfully, at this point he has only one work trip planned in July), the kids were too young for many of the local camp options, and I found the season about 6 weeks too long.
CELEBRATIONS
I can’t call it a success yet because the summer is long and right now all I have are paper plans BUT…current arrangements have A spending exactly 13 full days at home during the months of July and August.
She was accepted into a summer leadership training program that will include three weeks away from home (5 nights/week she’ll be away overnight); the remainder of her time is filled with two trips to visit my parents as a family, our trip to Portugal, and a week of overnight camp.
She is elated. I am elated. Her younger brother is elated. It’s nice to shift the dynamics around for a while and I knew I didn’t have it in me to provide the upbeat, energetic summer my extroverted Energizer Bunny teen wanted…and now she has what she needs/wants and I should, on paper at least, have a lot more of what I need and want.
It was Father’s Day yesterday. I would be remiss to not acknowledge the tremendous legacy of my father who continues to inspire me. He is hilarious (without trying), calm, steady, and the most wonderful pessimist I know. (He is such a pessimist.)
But more than anything, on Father’s Day, I now think of my husband and his role as a father to our two loveable, one-of-a-kind kiddos. John doesn’t ever draw attention to himself in whatever capacity he happens to be serving, but he is a tremendous father who shows limitless love toward both kids.
What a gift to have a wonderful father in my own life, and to see my husband excel in this role in my current nuclear family.
Saturday, John and L participated in a Father’s Day Fishing Derby – despite rain and limited catching potential, they had a great time.
We spent a low-key Sunday at church all morning, doing some minor car upgrades in the afternoon, followed by a hike at a local ravine trail, and topped off with our go-to store-bought sushi for an at-home date night.
We haven’t hiked this particular trail in years and it was lovely and shaded and cool. Forest pictures never capture the beauty of the landscape; greenery like trees and shrubs never translate properly in a picture, and of course you can’t hear the cheeky chipmunks and cheery birdsongs and gurgling brooks!
My parents are aging and it is hard to watch their slow but steady decline. Now, every year when I leave their house, I wonder if another season will be manageable. Living in such a remote area adds extra burden to the upkeep of a property.
So when we pushed off into the water for the first time, I sighed a little prayer of thanks to have an unbroken streak of spending time at this lake for thirty-seven consecutive years.
I know I need to stay in the moment and appreciate the here and now and I try my darnedest to do just that. But, there’s a little voice in the back of my head that reminds me These days won’t last forever. I’ve been repeating the same activities for so many years that it’s hard to conceptualize of a day when they won’t continue repeating in the same way. Looking out the window to see Dad savouring his first cup of coffee around his morning bonfire on the beach. Mom bobbing in the waves on her 40-year-old white foam floatie.
But this year, God willing, Dad will drink his coffee around the fire and Mom will bob in the waves and that is a joy and a blessing and something worth celebrating, albeit with a dose of bittersweet realism served up on the side.
We have another bike! The kids have mostly always had a bike, but this year it worked out that we were down to two bikes (one for L and one for John).
So imagine my delight when someone texted last week asking if we had any use for another bike?
It is such a cute, retro-looking bike that had been used ONCE by the previous owner who insisted on giving it to us (John snapped this picture before he put air in the tires). Also, since A and I are roughly the same height, we can share this bike.
LITTLE CELEBRATIONS
- Last week A attended her first middle school dance WEARING ONE OF MY DRESSES. How did this happen?
- I am almost done with lunchboxes until September. Praise the Lord and Hallelujah.
- I mentioned our waterfront hammocks a few weeks ago. They are a popular item and the kids had never managed to snag a spot until last week. They heartily approve of this installation.
- Yesterday we had some minor panic when a long screwdriver attachment fell down inside the hood of our car. Having a metal projectile somewhere in the front of one’s vehicle is not ideal. Gah! Then I remembered we own some incredibly strong magnets and John managed to use one of those to locate and slowly guide the missing attachment out from the underside of the car. It was a huge relief and celebration to see that sharp piece of metal come into view!
- L has been cleared for full-contact sports/normal activity. His thumb healed beautifully, he was a trooper throughout and – a sad, but somewhat celebratory result – because of the injury we ended up pulling the plug on summer soccer. Sad because he loves soccer, but happy because it was going to be so hard to make it work this year and he had already missed so much of the season because of his thumb. There is always next year!
And that’s about it from me in terms of random life updates and “celebrations”.
What are you celebrating this week? What were your summers like as a child – highly structured or laid-back, leisurely affairs? To piggy-back on Engie’s post, how old were you when you had your first summer job?
Coree
I feel like it’s such a relief to have the summer plans sorted out. Well done A for the summer leadership programme. And hooray for bikes – we cycle everywhere and whenever I need to take mine in for a service (Scottish winters are rough on bikes), I feel like I’m missing something. My husband thinks this is a sign I need to learn to drive, I think it’s just a sign I need a backup bike.
I hate that you can’t have the chill at home time that you’d prefer though. I really admire that you’ve broadly made peace with that, I would burn myself up in righteous indignation. I’m so excited for updates from Portugal – and the offer to have my dad come fetch you if you get stuck somewhere – was made in utmost seriousness.
Our schools finish the day after yours and thank goodness, I am so, so ready. We’ve got a few days at camps before heading to Portugal, and then a mix of camps, a beach trip with the cousins, some visitors, and it’s back to school. Last year, I felt like I could have used an extra week off with T, which I feel like is a success. August is festival season in Edinburgh, so we do try to take advantage of the theatre and culture around us in the summer. All primary kids get free lunch in Scotland so we aren’t used to packing lunch, so I’m unpracticed and do struggle a bit in the summer.
No one will expect to see me on campus until mid September (and I’m not teaching until January) so looking forward to some writing time, dinners in the garden, and very little admin until then.
My celebration of the day was a surprise recusal from an admin role I was really dreading. It was sorted out ages ago but no one told me!
Elisabeth
Yes! Summer can feel…onerous. Which seems like such a horrible thing to say but being a parent/adult really shifts the tone of summer since I want to fill it “well” with the right mix of structure and fun. I *hope* we’ve found a good balance of everything. No doubt there will be some minor meltdowns are various points over the summer, but I’m going in to it feeling optimistic!
“My husband thinks this is a sign I need to learn to drive, I think it’s just a sign I need a backup bike.” This made me laugh so hard, Coree! A second bike sounds like a great plan 😉
I will admit that I’ve mostly zoomed from outright terror to resignation in terms of the neighbourhood situation. It is what it is and the good thing is that it has forced me to embrace structure for the sake of my mental health. I think we’ll have a very memorable summer because of this so it’s not all bad.
I will make sure to have your number on standby when we’re in Portugal in case we need to get bailed out of any sticky situations.
It sounds like you have such a great summer planned and love that you wanted MORE time. That’s an excellent sign, indeed. And how wonderful you have a chance to breath a bit before the next academic term. And hooray for the surprise release from a dreaded task. What a relief!
Suzanne
Sorry, I am sobbing about your description of your aging parents and how their age is tied to a location you love. I have that exact same situation and all the attendant feelings. My kid and I will go visit my parents in their (now) summer home in a couple of months and I am so looking forward to it… and so afraid it will be the last time. It’s AWFUL when a piece of your heart and soul lives in a place where you don’t, and where you may not always be able to return to… at least not in the same way.
If you ever want to lament this part of your life, let me know because I Get It.
Also, I love a series that will appear randomly and without warning. 🙂 Looking forward to it.
Elisabeth
“My kid and I will go visit my parents in their (now) summer home in a couple of months and I am so looking forward to it… and so afraid it will be the last time. It’s AWFUL when a piece of your heart and soul lives in a place where you don’t, and where you may not always be able to return to… at least not in the same way.” I relate to ALL OF THIS statement, Suzanne.
It’s a lot, isn’t it? It’s so hard to hold that balance of enjoying the present while also recognizing this too shall pass (and, in my case, it could literally be any year now). It’s hard to juggle those conflicting emotions. But it’s better to love and lose, right?
Nicole MacPherson
Congrats to A! That’s such exciting news for her.
I know what you mean about aging parents. Mine are on a huge property in a huge house, and I worry that the day will come where they won’t be able to keep up with it. My brothers are essentially useless so everything is going to fall on me, and they are 9 hours drive away…but no need to borrow trouble before it’s time, I guess.
I was 11 when I started babysitting, can you even? My first “real” job was a page at the library, and then I worked at Pizza Hut, I was 15 and 16 respectively.
Elisabeth
No use borrowing trouble is right. Enjoy the here and now and things will get sorted in the future. I’m not guaranteed another day on earth so, in reality, it could be me leaving this soil before they do.
I think I was ten – TEN – when I started babysitting. I just can even?! I remember getting paid $3/hour to babysit two sisters. That felt like huge money to me at the time!
Jan Coates
So nice that you had some time with your parents on your own. For sure these are the good old days. I was 43 when my dad died and 45 when my mum died. I still think of them most days. My father would especially have loved Noelle and Ada. Enjoy these last few days of school!
Elisabeth
One of my greatest joys in life is knowing that my kids will have memories of all their grandparents. My grandfathers both passed long before I was born and my kids (9 and 13, now) will 100% remember time spent with their grandparents which is such a gift.
I love that you and Don prioritize spending time with your grandbabies – it’s a real gift to both your own kids and to Ada and Noelle to have those shared intergenerational memories.
J
Your story about your parents and the lake house is so poignant. I hope you are able to be in the moment and enjoy it as much as possible, but of course we all know that can be really difficult.
My daughter is much more of an introvert, so summers were mostly low key. I would sign her up for some kind of 1/2 day camp, often art themed, and otherwise she would come to work with me. I’m glad I worked for a company that allowed that, and that there were other kids there who she could play with. Once I started working from home, when she was 10, she could just sleep in. I tried to keep her busy enough, but she mostly wanted to take naps, read, and play games. Only child with no neighborhood kids of the same age made it hard sometimes.
Elisabeth
Your daughter’s summers sound absolutely perfect to me. I spent a lot of time reading each summer; my parents always sent me to overnight camp for a week but I HATED it.
I have managed to birth an extrovert who would like to always be around people…the difference in personalities is unreal to me sometimes, but I think this summer will be well-suited to her liking?
How fun that Maya could come to work with you!
Michelle G.
Ooooh! I love a random Summer Celebrations post without warning! It sounds like you have a wonderful summer planned! I totally understand how you feel about your aging parents. It’s so difficult to watch them get older – going through a kind of pre-grieving for what’s to come. I feel so blessed that my parents live close to me.
The retro bike is so gorgeous!
Elisabeth
Pre-grieving is exactly the word for it. It’s such an odd emotion, isn’t it. I feel that with my kids sometimes, too. Like I don’t know when I last picked A up but it has been years. She’s almost the same size as me now. L is still small enough he will come cuddle up in my arms and I do feel these pangs of bittersweet ache in my heart because I know in a few years his cheeks will have scruffy facial hair and HE’LL BE TALLER THAN ME. I feel like a hypocrite because I generally enjoy my kids more and more as they get older BUT I also know that there is a point of no return when they’re no longer even the least bit “babyish” and that feels sad and so final.
Aren’t I cheery today! But they’re normal and odd emotions to process that come in more intense waves when I’m around my parents.
NGS
My summers were definitely lazy. We lived in a cornfield and I just read and played with cats. When I was a tween/teen my mom would send me to her relatives in Pennsylvania for a couple/few weeks and that was always a blast, but then I’d go back home and there would be nothing to do and nowhere to go. I am suuuuuper envious of young NGS who had all that time.
As with all things related to mortality, I choose to ignore what’s going on with my mother right now. I know it’s bad, but just like we still don’t have wills (I KNOW), I am living in permanent denial.
Elisabeth
There was a lot of time for kids in that generation. And with no cell phones and, for us at least, only a handful of channels on the TV…my summers featured reading and playing outside for the majority of the time.
I think we all have to live in quasi-permanent denial. There is no other way to function. Memento mori and all that, but for most personality types, we need a break from those thoughts. I know I do!
Lisa's Yarns
We celebrated Father’s Day this past week but it was a very low key celebration. The highlight was ordering take out and playing yahtzee with my MIL. Paul helped her rolls and did some of the math. We don’t do gifts so I told Phil to golf when he can although I feel like I am his golfing bookie and when I’m around golfers, as we were on Friday night, I said – ‘keep Phil in mind if you need a 4th!’
I lived in a very very rural town growing up so I didn’t get my first real w-2 job (guessing you have the equivalent in Canada but w-2 = documented/taxable income) until I went to college. When I was a teen I babysat quite a bit, mowed lawn for my parents and grandparents, and helped do the book work for my parent’s side business.
Hooray for A having a full summer planned!!
Elisabeth
Awww. So fun (loved seeing the pictures of Paul with your MIL). Ha, Phil’s golfing bookie – hilarious.
Daria
What were your summers like as a child?
Extremely boring. I was at home most of the time, so not only I was homeschooled during the year, I was also at home in the summer, alone most of the time. I read a lot. I listened to music a lot. I was bubble wrapped until I “escaped” to the US at the age of 20.
Elisabeth
That does sound like a lot of alone time (I was homeschooled for a few years and based on that experience vowed I would never homeschool my own children).
The shift to life in the US must have felt intense, I imagining? But also exciting and liberating?
Kate
Ahh, what a *good* summer you have in store! It’s such a welcome shift for A to be at an age where the activity and structure she craves doesn’t also have to directly involve you. I’m sure she will love the leadership training program. Greta is currently at a week-long sleepaway camp and I imagine when she turns 14 she might want to start working there (counselors have to be 18 but they accept teens ages 14 and up to help with crafts, food service, and assistant counselors).
So great that L was cleared to resume all activities! I feel like that went by quickly, although I’m sure it didn’t seem like it to him!
And although the pictures of the woods can’t convey the fullness of the experience (cheeky chipmunks made me smile!), they are still gorgeous photos and carry such a sense of peace. I’d like to go on some easy hikes with the kids this summer. We have a few state parks within an hour’s drive that have beautiful waterfalls and creeks for splashing!
My childhood summers were extremely unstructured. I went to one week of sleep away camp and a few weeks of swim lessons, and the rest of the time was just spent playing at home, riding bikes, going to the local lake, and splashing in the inflatable pool on our deck. Last summer with Victoria’s birth, we scheduled a few different camps for the older girls to keep them busy, but this summer is much more relaxed and I think we are all enjoying that!
Elisabeth
I think a mix of both kinds of summers (or a mix within the summer) is wonderful. We have two weeks at my parents where we literally schedule nothing. We basically never leave their property and just swim, laze on the beach, watch TV if it’s raining, go fishing, have bonefires. It’s very “classic” summer and I think that will offset some of the more intense and structured (albeit very fun!) activities the kids have lined up.
I hope Greta LOVES sleepaway camp!!
Tobia | craftaliciousme
Sounds like summer will be exactly what everyone needs and wants in your family. Congrats for sorting that out. Truly something to celebrate. Those hammocks look fun. I have seen them around here too lately but never used one.
Aging parents is something I also have on my mind more often lately. Specially with my dad’s surgery and the handicap that came with it does show that they are just not that young anymore. It’s hard to watch in a way.
Elisabeth
I’m feeling…optimistic…about this summer? Will report back!
It is hard to watch our parents struggle with health woes as they age. It’s only in the last few years where I’ve really started to thing: wow, they aren’t young anymore. It’s hard…but also natural, I suppose, too. I feel like things like aging and death were more intertwined with everyday life a few generations ago? It was sad, but also just something that people encountered more frequently? And there tended to be a large community that would come alongside in times of grief? I wonder how that has changed with modern society. For example, in my case, my siblings are scattered all over the world (I’m the only one who lives within easy driving distance – 4 hours – of my parents).
I’m so glad you’ve been able to spend time with your father lately; in the hospital, but then also all the memories you’ve made together like the boating license weekend and some trips in the last few years. You’ll both cherish those memories!
Jenny
I’m a little late commenting because I’m in the middle of my own mini- summer celebration right now! My sister is visiting and I have the week off work. It feels sooooo nice.
Yay for A having all those activities this summer! It sounds perfect. So what is L going to be doing while she’s away?
My summers as a kid were VERY unstructured. But those were the days when kids could just go outside and play all day. My parents were teachers, so we all had summer vacation at the same time. We had a season pass to the pool, so we would go there most afternoons. My sister and I were just reminiscing about that pool. Fun, fun times.
Elisabeth
I give an answer to your question re. L in my post from today! Thanks for asking…I forgot to discuss his activities.
Your summers sound incredible!!! And daily visits to the pool sound perfect.
Stephany
Wow, congrats to A on the leadership course. What a cool thing to do this summer! And what a relief for YOU to have such a large majority of the summer planned out.
I loved having leisurely summers. My mom started leaving my brother and me alone when we were in middle school, so I would just read and play games and it was a DELIGHT. It was always so annoying to have to return to school after such a leisurely summer.
Elisabeth
Stephany, your summers sound PERFECT! I can see not wanting to return to school. Reading all summer is about the pinnacle of the dream, right?
San
“My parents are aging and it is hard to watch their slow but steady decline.” I feel this so hard, Elisabeth with every visit and even though my parents are still in great shape and generally healthy, I am so hyper-aware of the fact that this won’t be like this forever. Sigh. I am trying to be grounded in the moment as best as I can and to be thankful for every minute.
I am so happy that you have such wonderful role model dads in your life – your own and John.
That bike is so cute, hooray! I am excited for you.
Our summers were usually laid back growing up. There were no summer camps or the like, so my sister and I spent a lot of time at the close-by playground with friends or at the public pool 😉
Elisabeth
It’s so hard, isn’t it. I want to shake that hyper-awareness, but it’s tough.
Our generation seems like the poster children for glorious summers. Sunshine (but not as hot as it is now thanks to global warming), not much structure, and plenty of time to rest and have fun.
Sarah
Cheers to 37 lake years!