Oof. It has been…a week. If you don’t want to read a post littered with lamenting about the current state of my life, stop now.
PNEUMONIA
When I last touched base about life happenings, I was home with the kids – one of whom was sick. Sunday afternoon’s introverting turned into Sunday evening’s trip to the emergency room. By supper time, A’s fever had spiked and wouldn’t respond to medication (briefly hitting 41C; a little over 105F – NOT GOOD) and she had a persistent cough. Since I was batting solo, I asked Joy if she could watch L. This made life so much easier for everyone (other than Joy); the outpatient area was the busiest I have ever seen it. I keep hearing horror stories about people waiting for dozens of hours in Canadian hospitals but I have yet to experience it myself. We were in – and out with a diagnosis of pneumonia and a first dose of antibiotics – in less than three hours.
It’s strange: pneumonia is making the rounds in our community with all sorts of people – both adults and children – coming down with it. The timing seems odd; I think of pneumonia as peaking in the winter months?
Regardless of the how and why, here we are. It was a quiet but really tough week at home. In some ways it shouldn’t have felt so hard. My “patient” spent much of the week in bed alternating between art projects, Harry Potter books, and watching Moriah Elizabeth videos on YouTube. But I felt like I was rallying myself for the final charge into summer – I’d planned a trip to the movies! a trip to get ice cream! a few solo activities for myself since this was the last week of school – and tripped and ate a faceful of dirt instead. I never managed to get my mojo back. I did a few things on my to-do list but mostly drifted around in a fog.
We’ve had some issues with the meds and they have ended up being horrible for her to take so there is a big production around that three times a day. Plus, 72 hours out, her fever was still spiking to 40C (104F). So today we got a fit-in with our family doctor who confirmed she’s not responding well and prescribed a second antibiotic.
Various fun things on the docket had to be cancelled or missed (a paint night for A, one of her closest friend’s birthday sleepover). It has rained a lot. I haven’t had a full night of sleep all week. I was stuck inside dosing meds and reheating Magic Bags, but still needed to prep lunchboxes for L (still going to school) and do laundry and now do school drop-off/pick-up since A wasn’t going to school and she’s L’s bus buddy. Basically all of the drudgery of parenting and none of the fun. Such is life with a sick child at home! I know this and have walked this road many times before…but it felt particularly hard this time around.
I feel like I’ve done a quasi-good job of being tender and compassionate on the outside, but am screaming with angsty feelings on the inside and regularly taking myself to my bedroom to cry alone BECAUSE MY HUSBAND IS CURRENTLY ACROSS THE ATLANTIC AND HIS CONNECTING FLIGHT TO COME HOME TOMORROW HAS BEEN CANCELLED AND MY DAUGHTER HAS PNEUMONIA AND ALL MY PLANS HAVE GONE UP IN SMOKE AND I’M ALREADY EMOTIONALLY FRAGILE.
Ahem. Yes, it was definitely a Caps Lock sort of week.
A is set to start leadership training this weekend…so we have to hold those plans with the HIGHEST degree of flexibility which, as you might imagine, I don’t love. Plans are such a balm to my soul, for better or worse. I know I shouldn’t put my hope in plans, but it’s still disappointing when plans get derailed. Also, I did such a good job of planning things this summer! While this week of training is supposed to be “mandatory” I have written to see if she can start later in the week…
By way of a footnote, you may recall that this time last year (exactly) was when The Stomach Bug of Doom and Horror swept through our family. I have never been so ill in my life – throwing up over 80 times in 24 hours. John was also away then (we had to get a friend to come stay at our house because, well…for obvious reasons I was not able to competently parent while simultaneously living full-time in the bathroom) and this June + sickness/solo parenting thing is starting to become a very unpleasant tradition.
I stop this complaint-fest to acknowledge that whenever my kids get sick – and after the dread of what is to come – I always feel pangs of deep gratitude.
- That our home is 15 minutes from a hospital. Living in rural Canada means many (many) people have to drive for long distances to get to a hospital. Because of doctor shortages, many hospitals no longer have urgent care capabilities. To be so close to a hospital is a blessing. We were seen quickly. As mentioned above, there are many horror stories of people waiting inordinate amounts of time to be seen and that has simply never been the case for our family.
- It has been a long time since A has been to the ER and a long time since anyone in the household needed antibiotics. We were trying to remember the last time she had to go to urgent care. Pre-COVID for sure.
- We have easy access to multiple pharmacies, to medications (imagine living in a generation – or many places today – where things like pain relievers/fever reducers weren’t readily accessible), and have a vehicle to easily get to/from necessary locations and have money to pay for medications etc. What gifts.
- That I don’t have to juggle childcare. Being the at-home parent can be tough, but it means that I have incredible flexibility. I’m reminded of how fortunate that is when we have situations like this.
OTHER COMPLAINTS
- There were some little incidents in our neighbourhood this week that set me off. Of course I was already emotionally compromised because of the sleepless nights and sick child. I cannot avoid potential interactions because of proximity. In essence, I’ve felt like a trapped animal for nearly three years now and that’s not a good feeling. But the thought of moving is overwhelming and downright sad. One day at a time…Maybe something will change this summer?
- I need to completely overhaul various systems at work (ahead of September, so there is time). It’s going to take a lot of concentration and collaboration and no part of me wants to do this. I know the pneumonia will pass and the brain fog will dissipate but now that what needs to be done has been laid out, I feel more apprehensive and overwhelmed by the scope.
HAPPY(ISH) THINGS
- L loves Wordle but we hadn’t been doing it lately; it was fun to get back into the habit this week. Getting anything in two is a jolt of delight. But I have a bone to pick with the NYT. Canadian players NEED THEIR “U.”
- I have been enjoying A’s reverse colouring book. It’s relaxing, and since you just need a black pen, it’s much less muss and fuss than colouring. It’s mindless, but requires enough concentration I don’t find my mind wandering. Highly recommend!
- Sleep. The sleep I have gotten reminds me of how magical it is to be able to slip away from reality for a while and just rest.
- Getting a postcard from Maria. What a happy surprise in my mailbox this week.
- Banana muffins. I’ve tweaked several recipes until I’ve found one that is basically perfection (ticks the nutritional boxes I want and the kids think they taste great). These muffins have been a bright spot in my days.
Lamenting over. Time to switch over the laundry and prep the next round of antibiotics. The only way through is through and through I shall go.
Header photo by Kristine Wook on Unsplash
Shelly
I am sending you a huge hug. High fevers are scary so to deal with that stress on your own with all the rest is a lot.
Your neighbourhood situation also sounds awful. I do hope it improves for you.
I hope A is feeling better soon and plans can get back on track.
Plan in some extra time for yourself.
And if it’s WestJet that caused the cancelled flight, that would be infuriating. They used to be good but were bought by a private equity company and now only care about profit. Argh.
Elisabeth
Thanks, Shelly. It really helped to vent the fear and frustration on my blog. Thanks for listening (aka reading).
It wasn’t WestJet; in fact, he refuses to fly WestJet after some bad experiences. Because of his travel rewards, he flies with Star Alliance airlines as much as possible so usually Air Canada (or Lufthansa). In some countries that’s not an option, but 90% of his flights are Air Canada which isn’t a perfect airline by ANY MEANS, but his status does afford him more flexibility if there are flight issues (for example, he wouldn’t be someone to get bumped from an overfull flight).
Sara
Nursing sick kids through the day and night is not for the faint of heart. You’re amazing, and I’m so grateful for your honesty. Praying for resolution in big and small ways, friend…
Elisabeth
Thanks, Sara. You have been through so much lately. I’m praying for resolutions on your end as well. Hoping your time away is restorative <3
Anne
So many hugs flying to you right now. Having such a sick kiddo is terrifying, and you are doing an amazing job parenting and holding things together. I’m glad that Joy was able to be your jump-in-and-help friend, and that you were able to get competent and responsive care relatively quickly – a blessing, for sure. The neighborhood issues… if I had a magic wand (or maybe 3 wishes?) improving this situation would be top of the list. No one should feel like a prisoner in their own home. <3
I hope that John gets home despite the airline woes, that A responds to the new abx, and that you are able to find rest for your soul and body.
Elisabeth
Thanks, Anne. I can feel the love from a far <3
I definitely didn't feel like I was holding things together this week, but here we are on Friday and I have survived the week. Phew.
I'd definitely resolve the issue with a magic wand if I could; if only life worked like that. On my good days I can recognize I've learned SO much from this experience. On my bad days...well, it just feels helpless.
And JOHN IS GETTING HOME TODAY. Sorry. That deserves more caps lock 🙂
Kat
Hugs. Just seeing anything higher than 40C on the thermometer IS super stress-inducing, and adding up all the uncertainty and logistics.. yeah, no fun is an understatement of all times.
I hope this summer goes better from this point on.
Elisabeth
Fevers (and rashes; though those seem to be quite rare for our family) are SO stressful. They can literally be just about anything.
Onward and upward from here…I hope. I always knew there were sure to be monkey wrenches in my plans, I just didn’t expect it quite so soon!
Kat
I’ve googled ‘reverse coloring book’ since coloring is an excellent tool for mind-relaxation for me, but I could only find “all the colors are there. You just need to draw the lines,” which sounds instead anxiety-inducing. ( Ehm perfectionism? Much)
This is to say, would you please post a link/screenshot of something similar to what you have?
Elisabeth
I’ve posted about this now! I can see it not being a great fit for everyone, but I really enjoyed it this week in particular. Just the right blend of creativity and brainless movement of my hands.
Daria
Oh Elisabeth, sending you a big hug! That is definitely an all caps week, and especially that John is traveling. T travels, too, but not as much it seems. I have had situations (nothing over 40C but still) where I had to figure out my teaching, school for healthy kid, a plan for a sick kid, all in the morning OF. That was so stressful. Be kind to yourself, and sending healing energy A’s way.
Elisabeth
Thanks, Daria.
One thing I have rarely had to plan around to childcare which is HUGE. A actually had pneumonia when she was 3 and literally our entire month of February was just gone in a *poof*. I slept at the oddest of hours, we were inside basically all the time. She was sooo sick. It corresponded with two big projects for work and I remember having her on my chest while I took a video call with clients. But, I’ve almost always been able to do all my work from home so I could be in my PJs on my bed with a sick child. I can’t imagine having to juggle all the details of an out-of-the-house position. Eeks.
Thanks for the hug <3
Sarah
Oh no!! I am so sorry! This sounds like a terrible week. I hope A responds well to the new meds, and you partner in parenting is home soon.
Elisabeth
John WILL be home today, it feels like a step in the right direction to have more meds.
I know you know this all too well after like SIX months of illness in your house. Gah. It’s a thing, and you have FIVE children.
Nicole MacPherson
Jeez Louise, that is a FEVER. Holy crap Elisabeth!!! Pneumonia is no joke and although it feels weird to have it in June, Mark had pneumonia when he was in grade one, and that was in May of that year. I just remember how awful it was for him to take the medicine – that didn’t work and he ended up having to go on a ten-day treatment of some other one. It was just a dreadful time but my elderly neighbour said “How lucky. Kids used to die of pneumonia in my day.” I mean, “lucky” is pushing it but I knew what she meant. Modern medicine, how amazing is it.
But WHY DO THESE THINGS HAPPEN WHILE SOLO PARENTING??? Honestly, it’s just too much. COME ON UNIVERSE. I hope A improves and fast and I hope that your neighbourhood situation improves or at least is reasonable. Sending you a big big hug. xoxoxo
PS That “savor” looks so wrong.
Elisabeth
So true. I think of that a lot. I was talking to someone I know in the outpatient waiting area – there with his son for SUSPECTED PNEUMONIA – and we were discussing about how a high fever like this, a respiratory illness, a simple cut for goodness sake could literally be a death sentence. It boggles my mind to think of a time without antibiotics (though, if I’m being honest, I’m kinda terrified of where we’ll be in a decade; I was talking to the pharmacist yesterday and apparently out go-to antibiotic when the kids were little is now being using very sparingly because of growing resistance).
We have this running “joke” of the kids telling a horror story about something going awry and then they wait a beat and say: “And dad was gone.” I mean, I guess stuff goes wrong when he’s home, but it seems uncannily frequent that things happen right after he leaves.
I need my “u’s” – I think I’m a bit like Anne of Green Gables and her “e.” I think words just look nicer with a “u.”
Maria
Oh Elisabeth, this all sounds so hard. Having a sick child is never fun, and doing it solo is worse. Praying for a quick recovery and that the plans being held loosely are able to work out. (Also I had pneumonia as a six year old and I still remember how awful the cough was so my heart really goes out to A.)
Elisabeth
Poor A has now had pneumonia twice. She had it when she was 3 and it was awful. Like so, so bad. Much worse than this time, I will admit. It took about 3 weeks for her to recover and she was so sick and it was so hard to watch. I felt helpless at the time. I still feel helpless this time, but I will say that it’s less stressful when your child is older and fully verbal and can interact with doctors to explain their own symptoms clearly etc. So having that perspective of “we’ve survived this before and it was even harder” is helpful. Though, my husband was around the last time…
We’ve survived the worst of it this time around I’m sure, so it feels a lot more hopeful today.
Jenny
Oof. Having a sick kid is the worst- it really throws everything out of whack. Somehow I missed this post yesterday and am heading over right now to read your “Happy Things” post. Hopefully I’ll read that A is feeling better!
Elisabeth
We’re moving in the right direction!
McKenzie
I think you may have accidentally written out A’s name one time in this post. Just wanted to point that out since I know you’ve mostly just used initials.
Hope your week gets better! I had pneumonia in February and it was HORRIBLE.
Elisabeth
THANK YOU! I have gone back and edited the post. I sometimes toy with coming up with nicknames for the kids because the initial thing is hard to remember sometimes.
I feel like pneumonia as an adult would be horrific (and obviously it’s incredible dangerous for the elderly). And February which is already such a horrible hump month in the winter. Ugh. Hope you don’t have any lingering side-effects.
Joy
Caps lock indeed! What a week! May these exhausting days give way to all kinds of summery goodness very, VERY soon!! Also, L was loads of fun yo have around!
Elisabeth
Thanks for you emotional and practical support this week.
L had the BEST time and enjoyed his evening with you/the fam immensely 🙂
SHU
how did our similarly aged AND INITIAL NAMED DAUGHTERS get the SAME illness at the same time, like 1500 miles apart? That is WILD! The amox did nothing for my A but when they added Azithro + Augmentin things got so much better. Was scary for a bit there. So crazy you guys had the same.
Elisabeth
It is WILD. And yes, same here. Amox didn’t do anything. I was hoping to get Azithro because it has worked sooooo well for us in the past, but apparently it’s having resistance issues at least around here 🙁
Scary indeed. I definitely take it for granted that antibiotics will work, and it’s shocking and unsettling when they don’t.
Michelle G.
Oh, how scary, Elisabeth! A high fever like that is no joke. I’m sending you hugs, and I hope everyone else in your family can stay healthy and strong.
Elisabeth
Fevers are the worst. Thankfully, the second antibiotic has done the trick and she’s almost – miraculously – back to normal!
Gigi
I am so sorry that A is so sick! That is always as hard on the caregiving parent as it is on the patient; especially when you are flying solo! I hope she recovers soon.
Elisabeth
Thankfully, the antibiotics (the second one) is working like a charm. Phew. Such a relief, but it was a scary/unsettling week.
Birchie
Oh Elisabeth, I’m so sorry about the pneumonia. You plan and plan and then whomp, someone gets sick and everything gets put on hold.
I was laughing about the extra letter for the “how everyone else who speaks English except the US spells it” situations. That must be really confusing.
Elisabeth
I do love how the “u’s” look; it threw me off for a minute when I was trying to come up with the word and then I was like…oh, right…this is an American word game 🙂
Whomp, whomp indeed BUT the new antibiotic is working like a charm.
Lisa’s Yarns
What a week. High fevers are so tough. You feel like you are high alert the whole time. I am glad you were able to see your family physician and get some new drugs. Hopefully you have a healthy rest is the summer. And I bet Joy was happy to take care of L! He’s at an easy age. It is wonderful to have someone to call on for help!!
Elisabeth
Yes, it is soooo much easier when the kids are older. Still hard, but not impossible like it was when they were young. L had the BEST time.
Melissa
Oh no, this is hard! Having all your well laid plans disintegrate. And it’s giving me awful flashbacks to when I was seven months pregnant with E and both girls were having raging fevers when G was away. One night, I remember carrying H to the toilet because she said she couldn’t walk, with her limbs all hanging everywhere because of my stupidly big belly. Also, having to alternate in the bed with me, which one was the sickest. At least there was no running anyone anywhere because they were both sick.