I’m pretty sure all I have to do is show you my view while I’m writing this post (why don’t you quietly hum the Final Jeopardy theme song in your head while I go take a picture) and that can be my whole Happy Things Friday post.
Enough said!
Ha. Surely you know me well enough to guffaw at that.
It was my week at the lake and it was wonderful. For any new readers, for the last few years I’ve tried to visit my parents (sans John or the kid) for 4-5 days in the spring and fall. They live in New Brunswick — far enough away it’s not in my normal routine to visit, but close enough it’s only a 4.5-hour drive.
Things got off to a great start. Dad had water boiling for coffee when I arrived Sunday afternoon, so we sat and enjoyed a cup and chatted. (Mom has never liked coffee, so Dad really appreciates when he has someone else joining him for the ritual. And only one of my siblings drinks coffee!)
After supper we watched the evening news which is such a novelty because I NEVER, EVER watch news coverage, I only read it online. Then I curled up in front of the wood stove and read a book (Daisy Darker, giant meh for me) for a few hours while my parents watched a show in the living room.
I was struggling to keep my eyes open all evening but pushed HARD to stay up until 9:00 pm, and then proceeded to sleep for over 9 hours!!! (Of course my deep sleep was still on the low side which irks me to no end, but it was still incredible.)
Monday, my first full day, we started tackling Dad’s list. This man loves a list and he loves to be very efficient. I wish I could manage to fully convey my parents personalities and quirks because they are an absolute RIOT (unintentionally; think modern Beverly Hillbillies meets Ron Swanson crossed with Leave it to Beaver with a sprinkle of Gilligan, from Gilligan’s Island).
Some of what we did was the hard physical stuff that’s an increasing burden for Dad. We moved a boat ramp down to the shoreline for their motorized canoe (and I carried their very awkward 80-pound motor down the stairs in their garage). We moved their swimming raft closer to the lake, and took his wood splitter out of storage. We worked together to roll some massive boulders out of the way on the shoreline. Later in the week we planted Mom’s vegetable garden.
Then there is always tech. Download paperwork. Change the ink cartridge. Help them e-sign a bank document. Find a missing attachment. Check flight options for an upcoming trip. Order tickets. Lord have mercy on the last one. What an ordeal that was, but we got things sorted eventually.
And this time there was also decluttering and organizing.
The Great Cleanup
My parents are both…how shall I put this?…Keepers. I had planned to offer to help Mom go through a single closet, but that morphed into two closets in the house and then everything in their garage. All told, we filled about 20 bags with trash and recycling, and put another 15 bags and boxes of things for thrift stores in the trunk of my SUV.
I vacuumed every inch of my Dad’s messy wood shop.
Then I moved on to organize the top floor. There’s still a bit more to do, but I ran out of space in my vehicle.
As horrible as this next bit will sound, I realize I will eventually have to deal with all their stuff anyway. Either when they need to move to a place that is lower maintenance, or they have passed away. They are hesitant to do these sorts of things alone, but I am very good at throwing things out. The extra push was all they needed. Those 40 odd bags are still a drop in the bucket, but everything feels more manageable now.
They have lived by the lake for exactly 25 years and the floor of their garage has never, ever looked anything like the After shot.
Hello there, colour coordinated books (WITH EMPTY SHELF SPACE)! So nice of you to stop by.
Bonjour, adventure novels organized by author. It’s a pleasure to see you, neat bins of camping gear.
Would you look at that — an empty shelf. I hope it stays that way.
All told, I probably cleaned and organized for over 20 hours this week. So the time away wasn’t quite as restful physically as I imagined, but it feels like a sort of weight off my shoulders. And it was fun to walk down memory lane with my parents. The space now feels much lighter — practically and emotionally.
CALL WITH BIRCHIE
Birchie has plans to come and visit me in Nova Scotia later this year (I know!!), so we had a quick call to start sorting out some details. I chose to walk up my parents driveway which looks absolutely idyllic.
Until I turn the camera around and you see my fashion statement for the day.
The mosquitos are so bad this time of year a bug net was an essential part of my outfit. Birchie didn’t seem to mind.
MOM’S FOOD
It was so nice to have someone cook for me. I felt spoiled! Honey garlic chicken. Soup. Macaroni casserole. Fish. Steamed fiddleheads. Some of my favourite desserts. Banana splits on the couch while we watched the news. I felt like I was 15 again which was rather delightful.
HAPPY THINGS IN BLOGLAND
- Kristen’s Thankful Thursday post this week left me so grateful. So many happy things and such beautiful photos to accompany it all. Bonus, she mentions James Clear’s weekly newsletter, which I championed last week!
- This post from Diane about life lessons you can glean from driving a manual car was inspired! If you haven’t read it already, please check it out. 10/10!
- Suzanne has a kitten! Their family welcomed little Leonardo into the family and he is a puff ball of delight.
- I’ve been saying “cut two carrots with one knife” lately to avoid using “kill two birds with one stone” but reader RG suggested a new option: Feed two birds with one scone! Love it!
- Kyria batted a perfect score with this weeks Never Have I Ever. She’s done everything on my list!! Woot, woot!
BONUS HAPPY THINGS
- I was vacuuming our living room and this bright new growth on a very old plant caught my eye. It immediately struck me how even as we age and might start to lose some of our younger lustre, new growth and changes are possible!
- The woodpecker on the tree right behind me who has been banging out a concerto looking for bugs and other such things for the last hour. Surely he has a headache by now?
- I had asparagus that needed to be used pronto, so I tossed it with some EVOO, roasted it in the oven, and topped it with a soft-fried egg. Such a satisfying lunch.
- I know I just posted about my May books, but June is off to a rollicking good start. The ending of The Secret Keepers by Kate Morton was SO GOOD!!!!
I’m heading back to Nova Scotia later today. I had a lovely visit with my parents but I’m excited to see my family again and feeling renewed energy for finishing the school year strong! Time to buckle up…June will be busy.
Happy Weekending!
- What do you think you would have chosen as your favourite meal as a teenager?
- Have you noticed any new, positive growth in your life recently?
- Are you a “keeper”?
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What a fun week! I am so glad that you were there to help your parents; I am also that person at home, as my parents are also keepers. They really are trying hard to get rid of things now so that it will not be a burden on us (likely ME, I love my brother, but he gets exasperated easily and would probably give up on it fast) after they pass away. However, just like most people, they have things from their grandparents or beyond that really mean a lot to them and they can’t or don’t want to get rid of. I am not sure what I will do with these things to be honest.
I loved your paragraph about reading next to the fire while your parents watched a movie. That is 100% me and my parents! They also stay up later than me, so I often go to bed and they stay up and watch a movie. They also have a wood burning stove and when I was a kid that was our only heat source (not anymore), and I have had to chop and carry a LOT of wood in my life, so I am not a huge fan of doing it now (I had a fireplace in Oakland and I never once used it in the ten years I lived there!) However, if someone else does it, I will happily sit next to it!
Never Have I Ever challenge accepted. I can’t wait for your next one to see what my “score” is! 🙂 Also yay for NS visits!
Like you, it will almost certainly be me that helps my parents with downsizing/moving, and then dealing with their estate. I feel a bit more confident now that I know what they have, what I might want to keep when they pass, and even where things are. It’s like I have a mental inventory which feels valuable!
My parents were part of the baby boomer generation AND they spent many, many years with very limited financial means so they grew up with the mentality to never throw out anything EVER. They are very resourceful, so they haven’t bought most of the stuff, but have inherited “junk” from other people. Also, because they live in an isolated rural area, it’s much harder to get rid of it. I’m 10 minutes from a large thrift store that accepts bulk donations. They’re well over an hour from the same sort of thing.
The wood stove is on all the time when I visit in the fall and it’s just so cozy and hygge!
Congrats again on being the first Never Have I Ever winner. I have two more of those posts already written up, so stay tuned 🙂
Oh, I can so relate to THE LIST – and the never-ending task of clearing out stuff for parents! There’s always some “techy” problem to solve, and always a mountain of things to sort through.
Last year, my parents downsized to a smaller flat. You wouldn’t believe how much we got rid of! The recycling centre actually weighs your car before and after, and you pay by the kilogram. We made several trips over a few weeks and ended up tossing more than 1,000 kilograms. A full metric ton of memories, dust, and mystery cables!
You get it!!!
What an apt summary: memories, dust, and mystery cables. That about sums it up! I found a few treasures along the way that I’ll happily bring into my home (a small bag’s worth).
There is still a lot to do in terms of downsizing, but at least I know most of their “archived” things are under control. And I helped my mom go through almost ALL her clothes.
Oh that’s lovely. Kind of inspires me to have a week on my own in Portugal when I’m on sabbatical in the spring. I’m grateful my parents did that big move, which led to a big clear out. Although poor dad was telling me he regrets leaving his vinyl collection.
My grandma is very minimalist, to a fault. Dad left his gold clubs there and she threw them out. I’m probably more in my grandma’s vein, and love throwing things away. My PhD supervisor was telling me recently that she wants to go on one of those decluttering shows and I said “I’ll come for the weekend!” So satisfying.
I’ve got a break from the forest school run today, we are going to visit my husband’s uncle at hospice tomorrow and then Sunday is completely free. I am so looking forward to it, the house is so grubby?! We’ve been so busy and are away next weekend, and basically booked until we leave mid July.
Oh Coree, I think you’d love a solo trip to see your parents in Portugal!!! I hope you’re able to make that happen.
I do wish my parents were prepared to downsize. I fear it will be a very painful transition, but we’ve gotten one step closer and that feels like important progress.
I definitely tend toward your grandmother. If something isn’t nailed down, I may nab it and donate or trash it! One person once told my mother that “Elisabeth isn’t very sentimental, is she.” The irony is I am tremendously nostalgic and sentimental, but in terms of a physical items, there are only a few that I have a deep tie. The rest is all in memory or photos.
I hope your Sunday remains blissfully free and you get a chance to catch your breath. It sounds like such a busy stretch for you and your family.
I love that you get the chance to go off for a few days and recharge your batteries ready to once again face your day to day life. A saying here in the UK which strikes me as apt is “Happy Wife, Happy Life”.
Safe travels home.
Ha! We have that saying in North America, too! So true. (We also say: If Mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy.)
Women/mothers/wives DO tend to set the tone in a household and it’s nice to have a break from that aspect of daily life and come back with fresh eyes and a week off from all the daily logistics of motherhood.
You are a good daughter. I had to wait until my mother was hospitalized and in rehab to start cleaning out her house. It took us four months. She was a hoarder and the trash (expired food and so much junk kept for 60 years). It was truly insane. My parents never threw anything away. I love to get rid of stuff! So freeing!
Aww. Thanks for such kind words. My parents have been so very appreciative and it really does make me so happy.
It is hard to get rid of things. I appreciate why it’s difficult and am so proud of my parents. I know this week wasn’t easy, but they really let me take charge and it feels like a good mix of keeping some sentimental things while clearing out bag after bag of things that were broken, outdated, or unusable.
It was so fun to talk to you! I got to walk all of the trails in my two neighborhood parks.
What is it with people who don’t drink coffee? Granted the list includes 3 of the 4 people who live in my house but seriously how do they do it?????
Sadly yes you will be cleaning out your parents’ home one way or the other, and it is much better to do it with them. Speaking on behalf of my husband and his sisters, because that was quite an ordeal.
I signed up for James Clear’s newsletter finally, and guess what? When it showed up this week it went in one ear and out the other (in one eye and out the other?). But Brown Eyed Baker did a summary on her post this morning and it was genius. I guess I need someone else to summarize it for me!
I’ll admit that most of what I read from the newsletter passes through my brain, too. But it can often inspire me in the moment, so I know I’ve made certain decisions because of what I read, even though I might not now be able to name specifics.
I also can’t remember a single thing I read in his newsletter from this week 🙂
Love how you do this with your parents!
The attic space looks great!
What are fiddleheads?
I made a thankful post just yesterday: https://practicalwalk.com/2025/06/06/quick-thankful-post/
Fiddleheads are a wild-growing green. They’re delicious and VERY expensive in stores because you can’t grow them commercially. My dad has been harvesting fiddleheads for years. He has to drive about an hour and then canoe 20 minutes to an island in a river to get them. It’s quite an operation, but then they blanch and freeze them and eat them all year. So tasty.
(They’re a specific type of fern and you pick them just after they’ve come up through the ground, but before they unfurl).
Your parents are SO LUCKY to have “super organizer Elisabeth” to come clean and organize all their stuff! Everything looks amazing! There’s nothing I like better than a well-organized space. The bookshelf is a dream!
And you are super lucky that they’re willing to let you do it! It can be a struggle for sure, especially if the parents aren’t on board, and all too often, they aren’t. For your family, it’s the perfect combination of parents willing to organize and a daughter who loves to organize!
I’m an organizer too. And I’m not a keeper. Sometimes I regret not keeping things, but I feel better when there’s not much clutter.
Organizing is probably my favourite way to get into a state of flow, so there was plenty of opportunity for “flow” this week!
I’m like you — not really a keeper, but occasionally I regret something I’ve passed along.
That sounds like an amazing time with your parents! I was thinking it, but not going to say it, but then since you brought it up I’ll say it now- yes, you WILL have to deal with all of their “stuff” at some point, so you are doing your future self a HUGE favor now. I always tell this story- my parents lived in the same house for over 30 years, and it had a huge basement. They got in the habit of just throwing things down in the basement, never to be seen again, UNTIL THEY MOVED. Luckily I was safely in Florida with a toddler (ha, sorry!) so I wasn’t there, but my sister and her husband had to help them move, and I don’t think my sister has ever recovered from that. They actually had to rent a dumpster, which sat in the driveway while they filled it to the top with junk. Then there was the rest of the house… it was an almost impossible task. So, those 20 hours you spent this week decluttering were hours WELL spent.
I know it is morbid, but it’s a reality of having aging parents 🙁
I suspect we will still need a dumpster, but it’s SUCH a good start. And the hardest clutter (hidden in boxes, stacked) was in their garage. They have a small house, though I’d love to do a little bit of work helping them pare things down inside. Maybe my “fall” visit?
You’ve done a wonderful job helping your parents get organized. You know I’m there for that kind of thing.
Great question about my favorite teenage meal and I’d say: Roast Chicken, Cole Slaw, and my mother’s Hickory Nut Cake. She was good cook, everything fresh and simply prepared.
Hickory Nut Cake. I’ve never heard of Hickory Nut…but the meal sounds delicious.
A fire in the woodstove in JUNE???
Get rid of that sleep app. It isn’t helping you sleep better—only adding to a sense of failure and worry!
With all your older siblings, it is interesting that decluttering for your parents is landing on you. Is it because of geography?
Thank you for directing us to Diane’s post about driving a manual transmission; I’m about to switch to an automatic and feeling sad. Grateful for Mom’s car that she no longer needs, but after 44 years of only driving stick, this is hard.
The mornings are still quite cool!
I go back and forth about the Oura ring, but I have found it very helpful for monitoring some things. I don’t look at it as a forever sort of tracking (I didn’t pay for it as I inherited my husband’s old ring when it was replaced under warranty).
Yes. Geography. I am the only sibling that lives handy to my parents (2 of my 3 siblings don’t live in Canada, and one is on another continent).
How nice that you were able to help your parents out so much. Plus you are really doing future Elisabeth a favor by helping them purge now while they have a say in the matter (which I know sounds depressing but I am very pragmatic about death…). My parents fully moved into this lake home about 5 years ago now, I think. So that required quite a downsizing because their lake home does not have a basement. They got rid of so much stuff in the process, although I did not help. I know my sister and BIL that live closest to them did put quite a bit of labor into that project, though. My dad does have a shop down the road from his house that has quite a bit in it but it’s his place to work on projects during the winter. I envision my brothers dealing with it down the road… I would have no idea where to start.
I am NOT a keeper and I would say my parents really aren’t either. My mom is quite a neat freak and to be a neat freak, you kind of can’t be a keeper. She loathes clutter so that means they do not hold onto a lot of stuff!
My favorite meal as a teen was a spaghetti hotdish that my mom makes. That is what I would typically request on my birthday for dinner (we got to pick what was served on our birthday). Now that is not at all my favorite meal because GF pasta kind of sucks… My favorite meal that my mom makes is fish tacos with a crema sauce that is so so so good! She usually makes it with walleye or crappies, depending on what my dad has caught!
** I had to submit this twice so please delete this if you already see my comment!
Yes! Future Elisabeth is already grateful for what Present Elisabeth did this week.
My parents are definitely keepers. Maybe that’s why I am not? I think so much has to do with how they were raised, too. As baby boomers, with parents who had lost so much during the war years.
The photos of the wood shop and garage Afters are a balm to my soul, Elisabeth! You have a knack for organizing.
Your description of time with your parents sounds so lovely. It’s making me itch to go visit my parents in their summer home. And LOOK at that restful sleep!!!! I still haven’t pulled the trigger on the Oura ring but I kind of want one purely to track my sleep here vs at my parents’ place!
I love your mosquito mask. Hilariously practical. Do they make them for legs, because my calves are dotted with mosquito bites.
I do love organizing (though I’ll admit I was pretty tuckered by the end of the final day of organizing). But it was SO satisfying.
You have to wear long pants all the time this season at the lake. Though that’s what you need to do for ticks, too. There are a lot of very pesky – sometimes dangerous even – critters that come out in the summer 🙁
Wow, that is one impressive before/ after shot. I am seriously impressed, my friend. It looks amazing. And yes, it’s grim, but I know what you mean re: having to do this at some point. During the pandemic – lol, not great timing – I read The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning and it made me really open my eyes to what I keep. Necessary, useful or joyful, those are the bars of the things that I keep around. I’ve definitely gotten better over the years, as in “do I need this?” Now, this does not apply to books where I just have such issues even lending them out, not to mention donating them.
Your mosquito outfit cracks me up. I’ve been using Deep Woods like nobody’s business these days, we have a lot as well.
I’m not sure if I’ve had any deep personal growth, but it just made me think of one of my favourite movie lines ever “Someone is staring at you in Personal Growth.”
Would you believe I still have never seen When Harry Met Sally?!
The mosquitos are outrageous where my parents live (thankfully, we don’t have nearly as much problem where we are in NS).
End of life thinking is hard, but also unavoidable, and it feels gentler, in a way, to tackle inevitable things a little bit at a time?
My OH does weekends at my MiLs to help do all this as well. Especially since dad passed. It’s good that you are close enough to be able to get a week away that also doubles up as “help” duty. The great food is payment enough, never mind you get to see your parents. Oh, and love the mosquito head gear!
My partner is the keeper, me? I hate clutter and stuff. Yet, somehow, we manage between us. And fav food? Has to be my mum’s version of a corned beef hash. Yummy!
I don’t know if I’ve ever had corned beef. It sounds like such a funny name and I’ll admit while I’ve heard of it many times, I don’t actually know what it is!
It’s one of those weird products that’s been around for decades. My parents ate it as a beef substitute after the war because it was affordable and available (usually comes from Argentina). It’s basically beef that’s been cooked down and then, canned. It’s rather handy for a quick salad, stew or fry up at breakfast (lunch or dinner like spam). I think it’s probably an acquired taste too.
The mosquito suit is so funny, but also – yikes that must be a ton of mosquitos. I am a keeper, but to an extent. I’m so impressed that you spent your free time helping your folks eliminate excess stuff, and you’re right – at some point it will become a situation you need to pitch in on. You are a master at organization. I’d never bother to color code books, but it is very pleasing to the eye.
As a teen I probably favored my mom’s cheesy chicken – a meal I still serve my gluten eaters. Or pizza casserole – another no-no for me now that I’m GF.
New growth in my life? Hmm, I’ll have to ponder that one. Maybe the way I’m connecting with my parents lately. I helped my dad do his colonoscopy prep last night and took him to the hospital today. Every word out of my mouth makes him laugh, and I’m embracing that. * let’s pretend he isn’t suddenly incredibly easily amused and that I’m just THAT funny, for the sake of my ego.
So many mosquitoes. We joke they could carry us away.
It is nearing supper time and my belly is literally rumbling right now and all this food talk is making me extra hungry!
I’m so glad you’re able to connect with your dad, and I know you do so much to help with their care. I’m sure you’re hilarious.
You did a fabulous job, Elisabeth! Your parent’s spaces all look great 🙂 So nice you could go and help them.
Thanks, Jean. It was a pleasure to spend time with them and an honour to help with some downsizing.
I am definitely a keeper and I need to change my ways. I am sentimental and wonder if perhaps I might want or need things in the future. It’s all overwhelming though, and I doubt that my daughter will clean it for me (you’re a great daughter!) Maybe if I break the task into tiny bits…like, EVERY DAY, deal with one thing. 1 thing. Could be a book, an item of clothing, a spatula, whatever. When I have enough clothes gathered to donate, donate them. I tend to think I need to take things on in a big way, and that becomes overwhelming.
I could start this in July, and by the end of the year I would have dealt with 182 things. Let’s see how I do.
The way to eat an elephant (bleck) is one bite at a time, right?
You can do this, Julie!
Wow!!! You did a lot of work. I am definitely not a keeper! I do like old planners and notebooks (not every year, but I have one from middle school, one high school etc) and it’s fun to look back on. But yeah, other physical items I have no problem letting go. I DO have a lot of emotions about my parents stuff. They have kept a lot and I think it stresses me out but I also have a lot of attachment to things there. But it’s all kind of a mess so I don’t even know what I would even care about. Major props to you for this work!!
I also was really inspired my Kristin’s post this week! Love the James Clear quote!
I throw out all my planners. It always hurts a bit when I do it!
Wasn’t Kristen’s post fabulous?!
This sounds not at all like any vacation. You did so many things while being at your parents.
I totally understand how freeing it must feel but at the same time it would drain energy. No?
The view you shared in the beginning is stunning. so calm.
I need to check out the never ever post and see how many things I may have done.
I am pretty tired, but it was worth it. I knew it was something that would be so helpful (for them and for me) to get done. It was such a massive clean-out (things they haven’t used in 40 years and haven’t been seen since they moved 25 years ago). It feels freeing.
What an endeavor you’ve done! packing/declutter 25 years of life. I can’t imagine. Fortunately my mom is so good with decluttering so I don’t have to help in that. Also, she lives in a small apartment so storage space is limited. We move every few years so also not room to store. It makes life easier i think.
It’s so nice to be fed by parents, right? I love it when my mom cooks for me when I went to shanghai last year.
favorite meal as teenager? can’t remember anyone in particular. Unlike myself, my mom is not a big foodie nor cooker, so I don’t have much food memories. I’m changing it for my girls though. 🙂
I am the opposite of a Keeper – in fact, there are so many times when I realize that I gave something away that I actually needed later! Oops. I just get very annoyed with clutter and having stuff that doesn’t have anywhere to go. Luckily, my mom’s house isn’t very large (and we don’t have basements in FL!), so I don’t think I have to worry about a huge decluttering spree. She’s pretty good at donating things and not keeping around junk, though, so hopefully it won’t be too bad.
That’s a lot of work for your restful week off, but I’m sure it felt really good to have it all done!
Yes, that happens to me, too. Usually something I’ve kept for years and years and never needed it. I give it away and the next week I want it. But it’s a small price to pay for being willing to let go of things.
That said I have more than enough extra “stuff!” (Though a LOT of that would be gone if the kids were older and on their own, so my parents don’t have that excuse anymore 😉