I know I kept up with my Happy Things Friday posts during the Christmas break, but it feels like this is the first “real” Happy Things Friday in a while. Christmas just skews everything slightly – in a good way, but unmistakably skewed nevertheless.
I have so many Happy Things this week.
TWEEN FRIENDSHIPS + INDEPENDENCE
Grade Six was such a rough and rocky road, and my heart is so happy that A has “found her people.” She has people at school, she has people at drama, she has people at church. She has sleepovers and gift exchanges and birthday parties and games nights and, later today, a movie with friends. (It’s all a bit much for my introverted heart, but somehow I birthed an extrovert.) She is blossoming in her friendships. I’m so glad she’s finding her place and my goodness this girl is going to do amazing things in life.
Also, aside from very rare moments, I do not miss the toddler stage of parenting. And while tweens bring their own level of challenge to the table, their newfound independence can kick butt. Like last weekend: she had a friend over for a visit and I needed to run errands. They wanted to browse some Christmas sales and get a hot chocolate downtown, so I dropped them off (at the library so they could return my books for me), and then we rendezvoused an hour later. She paid for both hot chocolates with her own money and I just had to drive to/from. Another day, after I picked her up from drama class, I wanted a pint of raspberries for school lunchboxes. We were going by a store but I had zero desire to run in…so I handed her the money and she went and bought the raspberries. This sounds like no big deal but it is SUCH A BIG WONDERFUL DEAL. My daughter can run errands and drop off books and buy raspberries.
Also, she begged to give me a manicure. This is the first time she’s done it and it definitely won’t be the last. Not only are my fingers fun, it tugs at my heartstrings to know that my own daughter took the time to carefully paint four layers of polish on my fingers. It seems like an odd, but strangely touching, role reversal.
Please remind me about all of this when I’m sobbing in a corner curled in the fetal position over teenage angst.
POST CHRISTMAS SALES
I didn’t need much this year, but I managed to find a few Christmas treasures (mostly ornaments) for next year. It was fun, it was festive, it was inexpensive, and it feels good to have a head start on Christmas 2024.
MILK FROTHER
We are obsessed. The kids are now making hot chocolate DAILY with this thing and the foaming action is unreal. It elevates an everyday activity to something more sophisticated and special.
BONUS ROUND
Who’s ready for a rapid-fire bonus round?
- Silk Peppermint Mocha Almond Creamer. The heavens parted and angels sang when I added this to my coffee the first time. Bonus Happy Thing: since it’s a seasonal item, it’s now on a great sale so I stocked up. The kids have been adding a splash to their (now daily!) post-school hot chocolate. So good.
- Daily yoga. I’ve been sore from a few poses (looking at you plank), but I can already notice more flexibility in my muscles. Plus, I do love adding in those gold stars.
- Colourful (and delicious) salads for lunch each day.
- An at-home date night with John last Saturday which was our first in weeks. We binged All The Light We Cannot See (if I hadn’t read the book I would have enjoyed it more; mostly I could not handle Mark Ruffalo’s horrific attempts at an accent…even still, I’m glad I watched it).
- Candles. We light them every night at suppertime and it is one of my favourite winter traditions. It makes everything glow and feel cozy and safe.
- Final whiffs of the Christmas tree. We took the ornaments off on Monday, but the tree didn’t make it out to the curb until Wednesday. I made sure to enjoy those last magical moments when I’d walk by the tree and catch a heady inhale of evergreen.
- Planning our Barcelona trip. It’s always a bit overwhelming to prepare for a city trip, but I feel like I have a planning technique that works and I’m slowly working through that process. The kids are so excited and their enthusiasm is contagious (A has moved on from a Christmas countdown to a Barcelona countdown!)
And that’s a wrap. Happy 2024 my friends. I hope you’ve had a good start to this new year.
P.S. Thanks to everyone for such great feedback and suggestions re. my Sabbath plans. One thing I forgot to mention, with regard to thoughts about having an auto-reply for my personal e-mail, is that I fairly regularly get last-minute (i.e. late Saturday evening/early Sunday morning) requests for volunteering at church. I think instead of setting up a generic auto response, the first time an e-mail comes in those hours, I’ll respond (after Sunday at 5 pm) explaining the digital component to my Sabbath. Church contacts – OF ALL PEOPLE! – should be very understanding. Plus, I don’t really like volunteering last minute, so this way I get to avoid that problem and/or they’ll start asking me earlier?
Your turn. What are you looking forward to in 2024? Any specific goals, vacations, or other plans that you’re eagerly anticipating? How do you feel about books-turned-movies (in my opinion, they rarely hold up)? Salads – yes or no? If you have tweens or teens…what’s your favourite part of this stage of parenting?
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Nicole MacPherson
I feel like I missed that you were going to Barcelona! So funny, R and I were just talking about going to Spain in 2025. We’ll see if it happens!
WHY HAVE I NOT SEEN THAT CREAMER? Well, I guess because I drink my coffee black so I never look but STILL. Yum.
I have said it before and I’ll say it again – parenting just gets better and better with time. I love my teens (M is almost 20!!!!) and I remember that exact thing, when I could ask them to walk over to the Co-Op to pick up whatever item I needed and didn’t have. When they are driving, it’s even better, although it sounds nerve-wracking. Just you wait until they organize their own birthday parties. You’re going to love that the most! Basically, all I ever did after about age 12 was provide food. SO MUCH FOOD. Ah, it’s such a joy to see the kids grow into themselves.
I LOVE that she gave you a manicure!! *wipes tears of joy out of eyes* So sweet.
Elisabeth
WE ARE GOING TO BARCELONA. Exciting, right?
This creamer is so good, Nicole. And chocolate and peppermint. I tried to buy more yesterday but it’s seasonal and their supply was all sold out. We have 2.5 left in the fridge, but I’m a bit sad. Though…really…how many cartons of this could I store in my little apartment-sized fridge without looking like a crazy person.
TEENS ORGANIZE THEIR OWN PARTIES? What is this miracle you describe.
And the manicure makes me so happy and I love that I get the happy little reminder so many times a day when I look at my hands (and she likes to come over and admire them!!).
Erin
Ahh yes I love this stage of parenting quite a bit, although it is also sometimes emotionally fraught!
My daughter is turning 14 in a few weeks and the past year has been fascinating to watch her grow into herself. She’s always (since birth) been extremely independent and that just comes out even more now, which is probably the biggest joy and frustration. Winter break was SOCIAL TO THE MAX, lots of rides all over the place (7 teens in a minivan is……. wow, my ears), lots of nights that are getting a bit later than I’d like and the first New Year’s Eve party – almost all of her main group of friends is one grade above her so the struggle sometimes is to remind her that she’s actually a year younger than them, and – for example – does not in any way need to start thinking about colleges 😛
I think it’ll be so interesting to see the differences between the teen stages of my 3 kids who are all SO different. I just can’t see my middle son (almost 12) giving me as much of an attitude as my 14 year old, but I sense I could be very wrong there 🙂
Elisabeth
It is a roller coaster, hence recording the good moments so I don’t lose my mind in the harder moments (of which there are MANY).
I also have a very social child…quite the opposite to her mother (I mean, I like to be around people, but not anything like A). I also sense L won’t be quite as angsty as a teen, but what do I know?!
Beckett @ Birchwood Pie
Yay for a big list of happy things for the first week of the year! Sigh, the problem with having boys is that I am the only one in the house who is going to put polish on my nails. I’m very fussy about only adding a splash of half and half to coffee and not doing flavors but I gotta say that the peppermint Silk looks really good.
Elisabeth
It is SO good, Birchie.
That is a downside to boys-only…but I do think overall they tend to be less “maintenance.”
Jenny
Yes, there are some REALLY nice things about having teenagers. Every time I get really aggravated, I think back to the toddler years (especially with my daughter) and yes- this truly is better.
Having a new countdown to focus on definitely helps ease the post-Christmas sadness! I’m looking forward to our family trip to Tampa next week, and then my race in February. Other than that we don’t have any big plans for 2024 (yet) – we’ll see what comes up.
Elisabeth
The toddler years with an independent, opinionated daughter is just a different type of challenge. I think the toddler years just wiped me out physically. The constant touching and needing was overwhelming to me.
I do miss them being little enough to really cuddle and I miss dressing her up in cute little dresses (she has VERY specific opinions about her clothes/hair etc now), but mostly I really appreciate the increased independence. I know these next few years will fly.
I can’t believe your race is in Feb. Wow, it’s so close! Where does the time go. Can’t wait to follow along <3
NGS
I have an interesting relationship with salads. In general, I do not care for lettuce or salad greens, but I like all the OTHER things in a salad. So yes to salads, but salads without lettuce. The lunch I brought to work today, for example, has cherry tomatoes, carrot slices, three mini sweet peppers, and half a cucumber. It’s more “crispy vegetables” than “salad,” but it serves the same purpose!
Elisabeth
SAME, Engie. My least favourite part of any salad is the spinach or lettuce. I always feel a bit guilty about skipping lettuce and spinach (and they are good “fillers”) but now I feel vindicated in my preference for non-lettuce veggies.
I also love different textures. Roasted sweet potato, quinoa, and hard-boiled eggs are some of my fav additions.
Michelle
I love all the happy things on your list! I need to read about happy things! My 2024 has taken an unexpected turn, so I’m glad I didn’t make resolutions or plans! Ugh! But I can make a list of happy things and that might be just what I need to do!
Elisabeth
Oh, Michelle! I’m so sorry you’ve had an “unexpected turn.” Hoping things work out for you and those you love, but that’s a tough way to start a new year <3
SHU
I can’t go into details but can confirm 6th great suckiness is alive and well in the US, too. I very much hope things will get better!
Elisabeth
Ugh. I’m so sorry. For us, 6th Grade has been the worst (by far). I was really, really worried about this year and several friends told me their kids found Grade 7 to be a lot better. Thankfully, that has 100% been the case for us so far. So many transitions in Grade 6 and, I think, a lot of tween angst with girl friendships?
Hoping you have a reprieve soon <3
SHU
GRADE 6, I think I wrote “great”!
Lisa's Yarns
I can totally see the benefits of A’s age! That kind of independence is very nice – and she can run some errands for you now! I am glad she is finding her people. I didn’t really find my people until I went to college. My tween/teen years were very sad and lonely and terrible for my self-esteem. Then I found people who liked me for who I am when I got to college and I realized there was never anything wrong with me! I spent my tweens and teens desperately wishing I was a different person with different interests. I was a square peg in a round hole. I am very very very glad my kids will go to big schools where there is more diversity and they are more apt to find “their people.” I am probably like A and more drawn to things like drama (and band, choir, math competitions, speech and other “nerdier” pursuits). But I didn’t have many like-minded people around me so I felt like a terrible outcast.
The only trip I have planned so far is our trip to Destin, FL in April. My parents are coming with us for that trip and we had a beautiful condo on the beach. The trip doesn’t really require any planning, though. We just have to book a rental car for the 6 of us. The main draw is hanging out by the beach. We kind of only travel to low key destinations like the beach with our kids at the ages they are. They are super entertained by playing in the sand and surf so it’s nice that we don’t have to do much to entertain them? And with 4 adults, we’ll have plenty of adults around to watch them so maybe Phil and I can get our 2nd quarterly date in while we are in FL! 🙂
I generally do not like books turned to movies. I usually do not watch the movie adaptation unless I’m told it’s really well done! And I used to eat salads for lunch on my in office days but after years of eating salads, I kind of hit my breaking point this fall and feel very meh about them. So I am currently eating sheet pan meals on my in office days. Sheet pan meals are way more work than salads so I hope I can get back on the salad train soon!
Elisabeth
Oh Lisa. Mostly I just want to go back in time and give you a BIG HUG AND BE YOUR FRIEND. I was kinda a loner in high school and never really fit in until I went to university and really found my “place.” Even so, I think I’m most settled as a person now. I have the closest friends of my life now and feel like I try less hard to “fit in” than I used to and kinda celebrate what makes me unique.
Grade school is so hard. And it’s especially tough if you tend toward the academic and not the athletic.
Your beach trip sounds amazing!!
Sheet pan meals are delicious (but you’re right; more work!)
Lindsay
Although I remain scared of the hormone years, I am truly enjoying watching my daughter grow into this weird, complex, fun, dramatic person and engaging with her in a different way than the newborn/toddler years required of me. Tweens are wild, and we are holding on tight, but also a wonder and a gift. I am a “not usually” on salads and about to go into our vacation planning weekend, which I am so very excited about!
Elisabeth
Yes – it’s so different than those infant/toddler years. These are years full of wonder and I’m trying to lean into the good frequently.
Good luck with the vacation planning. Yay!
ccr in MA
Of course church people should understand! And I love the idea of “I don’t really like volunteering last minute, so this way I get to avoid that problem.” Look at you, solving multiple problems at once! I get it, though; I have plans with friends tomorrow and there was talk earlier today about if we should postpone it due to stormy weather coming through, and in my head I was wailing, “But I’m ready for this! I’ve planned for tomorrow!” I am not good at last-minute spontaneity.
Elisabeth
I hope your plan can go ahead. I get this; I love planning and last-minute changes of plan ARE NOT USUALLY OKAY. Deep breaths <3
Kaethe
That is so sweet about your manicure! Don’t be afraid of the teenage years…I have three teen daughters now and almost daily I notice how much easier it is then when they were little. No stage is perfect obviously but I’m surprised how much I love having teens. I will be a wreck when my oldest leaves for college in the fall.
Elisabeth
Thanks; this is really lovely news to hear. No stage is perfect, indeed, but I think for different parenting personalities different stages are more pleasant. I’m hoping to love the teen stage (as much as I love my teen!). And I also realize that the time is going FAST.
San
I am very critical about books that are made into movies, with a few exceptions. A movie can never capture everything that is in a book but if you approach the movie with the expectation that it won’t be like the book, the adaptation can be quite good. It often depends on the cast though. (I think The Notebook was genius and I am very surprised by how much I love Outlander (even though the books hold my heart).
I am so happy to hear that A is growing into such a lovely, social teenager. It must be fun to watch.
I had NO IDEA that there was a SILK peppermint creamer. My favorite soy milk is SILK and I’d love to try that creamer (after I previously had my first peppermint mocha holiday drink).
I am so excited about your trip to Barcelona. Such an amazing city. I am anticipating a trip home to see my family in the spring <3
Elisabeth
I feel like the Anne books and LOTR did a good job.
The silk creamer is SOOOOO good. I just bought 2 more today. The kids are loving it as well.
Have you been to Barcelona? We’re excited and I’m enjoying the planning process.
coco
I have a tween, 11.5, and I like it as we can have more adult conversations, she’s super independent, we share love for reading and physical activity. I hope I can be her friend as she goes through more changes.
That creamer!!! I’d love to have it too!!!
Salad? mmm… if it’s store bought yes, if homemade no because I never get the ratio right and feel bloated afterwards.
Elisabeth
The creamer is so, so good. I bought two more today (they don’t expire for quite a while).
J
Small kids are adorable and a lot of fun, but exhausting. My daughter takes me to lunch and pays for it. I love having an adult daughter, and have loved every age she has been (though of course not every day or week or month…we’ve had some tough times. Never because she was obnoxious or angsty, just rough stuff.)
I remember when she was little, she was reading a book (Coraline? I think that was it.) and I told her there was a movie, and we could watch it when she finished the book. She said, happily, that she would like that. But then said, in a confiding voice, “But you know, Mama, the book is ALWAYS better.” Wise kid.
We watched the first episode of All the Light We Cannot See and then forgot about it. Hmmm. Maybe we need to get back into it. That accent, you are correct. And why do French people have English accents anyway? Is it because North Americans can’t understand French accents? Or if they were going to have French accents, why would they be speaking English? Who knows. I think I would have liked to see it in French with subtitles.
We don’t have any travel plans yet this year. The last couple of years have been big travel years, with my trip to France in ’22, and our trip to Alaska in ’23. I hope we can go somewhere, and I hope it’s not too expensive. Those two cost a lot.
Elisabeth
Ha. I LOVE this: My daughter takes me to lunch and pays for it.
The book is always better. ALWAYS. All the Light was forgettable which was too bad since the book was incredible. You’re 100% right about it being better in French with subtitles.
Diane
Oh man, I’m finding tween parenting very hard. I know different people love different ages, and I loved the infant/baby/toddler ages, sleepless nights and nursing woes and all that. Tween parenting is just so much mentally harder for me – constantly second guessing myself and wondering if I’m going the right thing, though there probably is no right thing. I wonder if it’s just this kid or if I will find it this hard with the other two. I have a friend who has a 12 year old and 11 year old twins, all girls, and I do not envy her having to go through it all at once, but at the same time… she’ll be through this age sooner?
We have a trip to California for Spring Break and then very likely a trip to Taiwan for next Christmas. It’s all to see family, so a very different kind of trip than if we were just planning for ourselves.
Yes on salad! I made a salad the other day that was called a “spoon salad” which I think is a perfect way to describe the nature of the salads I like – full of things to be scooped up and eaten on a spoon and nothing (like lettuce) that needs a fork.
Elisabeth
Tween parenting IS hard, there are just moments where it’s like: Wow. Look at what this child is becoming! I also really, really minded the infant stages and found toddlers exhausting. I loved my kiddos and even long for those moments sometimes, but mostly I really prefer independence!
Wow! Those are some big trips.
Salad is on the menu for my lunch today.
Ally Bean
What are you looking forward to in 2024? For me it’s more about what I’m looking forward to not having in 2024 and that’d be contractors working on the outside of the house. No ladders, no nails, no noise, no rubbish blowing around the yard. Just peace, tidiness, and the bills all paid for!
I’m looking forward to your vacation of Barcelona. It’s somewhere I’d like to see, too. You shall be my inspiration and travel guide.
Elisabeth
Oh yes – I’m also really hoping for no contractors at our house this year. It’s…a lot.
I’ll gladly be your “tour guide” of Barcelona, free of charge and you can stay dressed in your comfiest clothes without any jet lag.
Melissa
Our trip to Israel won’t be happening but end of February we are going to Tasmania for some hiking which I’m looking forward to. I have plan a Tasmania trip on my list to do which I am looking forward to, I just need to carve out the time. I enjoyed All the Light , I watched it with my daughter and it had been a long time since I’d read the book so I couldn’t remember all the details.
Sarah
Watching tweens spread their wings is so good. And teens!! It just keeps getting better and better #ilovekids
That’s #saladgoals. I am usually so hungry that mine is salad greens and whatever meat and pre-cut veggies are in the fridge. So it’s going to be like iceberg lettuce I crumpled in my fingers and hand-torn hot dogs.
Stephany
It warms my heart that A is finding her people! Middle school was a ROUGH time for me and I don’t wish that on anyone. Thankfully, not because of friend drama – I did have a good set of friends – but other stuff. It’s just a hard three years, ack. I’m glad things have gotten better in 7th grade!
Ooh, you may have convinced me to get a milk frother! That sounds decadent.
Elisabeth
Ooof. Middle school is SO rough. Argh. So far, so good. I mean, there are still bumps in the road, but it just so much happier for everyone than in Grade 6.
Anne
I am so glad – along with many others, obviously – to see that A is finding her people and finding them in many places. She sounds like a wonderful, social, engaged kid. And she is lucky to have you for a mom. )
I confess, I am a bit flummoxed by the milk frother. It sounds delightful, but… does one froth the milk then add to the coffee/tea/hot chocolate? Does one froth the combined beverage? Help a clueless person out, please? (It looks cute and small and potentially inexpensive, so if it ups the enjoyment factor, I may seek one out…)
Elisabeth
If the mug isn’t full you can froth it all in the same cup (the kids heat milk in a measuring cup for hot chocolate, for example, and it’s not full all the way. Then they use the frother to make it VERY foamy. If I’m going to add it to a full cup of coffee, I froth in a different container so it doesn’t spill up and over.