While it’s not unusual for me to slap a disclaimer on a Happy Things Friday post, this one is definitely an extra-large cup of coffee affair. If you love long, meandering reflections, sit down and stay for a while. If not, sorry! We’ve had so much happening lately!
Last weekend was every bit as busy as I expected; I’m relieved the hype, planning, and practicing are behind us but thrilled to have these fresh memories tucked away.
Sunday afternoon, I collapsed. I told myself to limit my nap to 30 minutes but snoozed for an extra hour (and then some!) after shutting off my alarm. Miraculously, I still slept well that night.
That said, I’ve been feeling a bit of general malaise and low-level angst all week. I’m weary of:
- Packing school lunchboxes (the kids help, but I still oversee it).
- Dirty floors (and children who walk over freshly mopped floors in their dirty sneakers #NotNamingNames).
- Bathrooms that never seem to stay clean for more than 5 minutes. I’ve mostly given up and refuse to admit how many months it has been since I properly cleaned the shower.
- Coordinating drives and signing permission forms.
- Parenting. The kids are great, but I’m weary of breakfast and bedtime routines (even though they’re independent, they are also up so. much. later now) and the general parental interaction required on a daily basis.
Little things have been getting under my skin and I don’t like the feeling of low-level irritability (why yes, it is the correct time in my cycle for this, why do you ask??!!). I can tell it’s time for a getaway, and thankfully that’s exactly what’s ahead. In a few days I’m packing up and heading to my parents’ place to rest, recharge, and prepare for an unusually long stretch of solo parenting that’s coming my way. I know I will have to jump back in with two feet and right now…my feet feel rather achy. A rest will be good!
That’s enough about irksome quibbles — let’s talk Happy Things from the last week, because there were so many!
BIRTHDAY
Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your sweet birthday wishes! A few moments made me smile extra big:
- The kids and John making me breakfast-in-bed (except I intercepted them in the living room and it ended up being breakfast-in-bed-at-the-table).
- Jana sent me a celebratory e-mail and included a photo of one of only two lighthouses she’s ever painted! She already knows me too well!
- While driving, Apple CarPlay read a birthday text aloud from Suzanne: “Suzanne says: Happy Birthday. Confetti emoji, cake emoji, balloon emoji, gift emoji.” Hearing emojis read out loud is oddly delightful! Suzanne also sent me a card in the mail — thank you so much!
- Coffee with Joy was the perfect chance to decompress, catch up, and reconnect after a few weeks of passing like ships in the night.
- Every year Joy gives me a gift card that I put toward a new book. I’ll give you three guesses (and the first two don’t count) what I chose to (pre-)order. Sarah’s upcoming book — complete with the official cover design… *Squeal*
- Cheesecake. OBVIOUSLY. So many of you asked about cheesecake and yes, I did indeed receive a cherry cheesecake, lovingly made by John. I am savouring every delicious bite and no, I haven’t shared any with the kids. I’m writing this post in the wee hours of Friday morning (*Shakes fist at seasonal allergies*…though when I saw the clock said 3:30 am I immediately thought of all of you who intentionally get up that early each day) and cheesecake will likely be an integral part of my breakfast plans. It’s on my Fun List, remember?!
- My father-in-law returned home before my birthday but left a heart-felt note that buoyed my spirits and was especially impactful. (He is the King of Cards.)
Thursday was my annual Lasik MD follow-up (I had PRK laser eye surgery two years ago). My vision is still better than 20/20, though these infernal allergies are making my eyes drier than normal — I came away with some good ideas to offset the problem.
John took the day off, so we turned it into a birthday adventure, including lunch at a hole-in-the-wall spot called Wasabi House (on Quinpool Road in Halifax). For $25 cash (10% off if you pay cash), we shared 27 pieces of sushi (half of these were a surprise and delivered “on the house”), salad, veggies, 5-piece tempura, rice, and a chicken breast — all delicious with fantastic service and since it was too much food, we brought leftovers home in a doggy bag. We will definitely be going back!
CLUTTER OUT, CLUTTER IN
Without a doubt, my favourite activity this week was several hours spent decluttering and tidying things with John. I am feeling freshly inspired (once I get back from my getaway) to do a house-wide declutter.
At a single thrift store I found:
- A pair of free weights.
- Nike Air Force 1s for Indy — barely worn, just needing a wash, for under $9 after discount. This kid goes through shoes fast but spends hours outside, so it’s a small price to pay. He was so excited!
- As a birthday gift to myself, I picked up thrifted totes without overthinking — including a giant $5 waterproof one (not pictured) for outdoor play gear. Indy wasn’t a fan of my idea of a lunchbox replacement; the store has a two-week exchange policy, so I’ll just return it.
- Some cute bins that I’m going to repurpose for gift-giving! After my discount, each were less than $4 and one of them still had the original price tag…hand-crafted in India, it cost the original purchaser a lot more than $4!
- I found an organizer for extra bathroom supplies that was Belle approved — and that’s been a tough crowd lately! I find compartments endlessly satisfying.
Bonus find: This week, while angst-cleaning one night, I discovered a sealed note Belle gave me a year ago labeled “Open when you’re having a bad day.” I wasn’t having an objectively horrible day, but why wait?? Her letter warmed my heart and really did boost my spirits. I think I might send out some sealed notes for others to open on tough days.
OUR VILLAGE
The week was packed with friends. Belle had a gaggle of middle school friends cheering at her drama production — plus two couples who aren’t family but treat her like a niece/granddaughter. At church, we filled a whole row with people who don’t usually attend but came for her baptism.
My father-in-law cheered Indy on at soccer practice and when he got to go ice skating with a friend, and another family joined us for his choir performance. The kids have an incredible foundation of love and support. It truly takes a village.
DRAMA, CHOIR, BAPTISM
- Belle was part of a local production of The Legend of Sleep Hallow. She had an absolute BLAST.
- Indy had two 2.5-hour choir performances on Saturday and didn’t get home until almost 10 pm. He has been singing Defying Gravity (their massed choir piece that rounded out the program) around the clock ever since.
INSPIRATION FROM JAMES CLEAR’S NEWSLETTER
I loved Atomic Habits (which reminds me, I am very much due for a re-read), and I always enjoy his weekly newsletter. It’s short and impactful. This week, it offered a fresh perspective on comparison and kindness.
I thought this was such a helpful reframe!
One Happy Thing this week was my virtual walk with Kristen (aka The Frugal Girl)! Kristen recently graduated from nursing school and spent Memorial Day working a shift. We talked about her commitment to approaching every patient with kindness rather than judgment. It’s easy to blame someone’s poor choices for their situation, but there’s always so much happening beneath the surface. Right now, leading with compassion and respect feels more important than ever.
We also chatted about how positive efforts can feel small or insignificant — like medical professionals whose hearts ache for those suffering in war-torn areas, but their influence is limited to their immediate community. My eyes lit up when I read this quote in Clear’s newsletter:
Investor Rick Buhrman on the kindness of mastering your craft:
INTERVIEWER: What is the kindest thing that anyone’s ever done for you?
BUHRMAN: …our oldest son, Theo, who just turned seven, spent the first six months of his life in several NICUs…I don’t know exactly why Theo survived, but I know that a major part of how he survived was because for several decades leading up to that moment, numerous nurses, nurse practitioners, respiratory therapists, doctors, surgeons had committed themselves wholeheartedly to mastering their craft…I know that in the moment, it wasn’t necessarily viewed as kindness.
But maybe in some sense, the kindest thing that all of us can do is to pursue something radically that in some way is in service to others, because you just don’t know how it’s going to change the trajectory of human life. And so for all of those medical practitioners, none of whom I’m sure are listening to this, I owe everything to, because they gave me the gift of being Theo’s dad.
I thought this was such a touching and impactful angle on being a positive influence (it reminds me a bit of the idea that you might have to hit a rock dozens of times before it breaks, but each hit — though invisible — is integral to final success).
And then one more quote from this week’s newsletter:
BIRD WATCHING
My father-in-law loves bird spotting. Despite lots of rain, here’s what he saw in our yard and on a trail walk:
In our yard (from either the dining room table or the kitchen window):
- Robins
- Cardinals (pair)
- Grackles
- Starlings
- Blue jays
- A ruby-crowned kinglet
- A yellow-shafted flicker
- Chickadees
- Downy woodpeckers
From a single trail walk:
- A raven
- An eagle (being chased by a crow)
- A mallard (drake)
- Red-winged blackbirds
- An American goldfinch
BONUS HAPPY THINGS
- Snyder’s seasoned pretzels. This is a dangerous discovery because they aren’t far off from the outrageously addictive (but not easily accessible in Canada) Dot’s Pretzels. I need to stop buying these dupes because it is far too easy to eat giant handfuls at a time. They are indisputably delicious, though.
- I’m not sure this made me happy, but it did make me chuckle. Indy was the last person to use vanilla ice cream and why wouldn’t he leave a teaspoon in the container and put it back in the freezer for someone else to discover (me!) and deal with….?
- Elinoora snapped a picture of a lighthouse mural to send my way. Thank you — it made me smile!
- Indy wanted some flashy cleats, and I found these Adidas ones (essentially brand new) for under $5! (He already has one thrifted pair, inherited from his sister, but with the rate he goes through shoes, I figured having a backup would be a good idea!)
- I couldn’t take a picture with Kristen, but I think she would approve of me pausing to appreciate these tulips on our walk.
Okay. I’m done! Maybe some of you even managed to finish this before draining your entire cup of coffee.
Happy weekending!
Your turn:
- Does anyone in your household put away the tiniest trace of food to avoid dealing with disposal of the packaging?
- Best recent food/snack discovery?
- Do you subscribe to any newsletters?
- Do you ever buy gifts second-hand?
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mbmom11
Why, I’m married to soneone who will put the tiniest amount back! I think he must have been trained that taking the last of something was rude. Slowly I’m breaking that habit. My kids are usually more than happy to take extra ice cream to empty the container, but then they leave it on the counter for me. Why can’t they throw it away themselves???
I bought Trader Joe’s pretzels sticks last weekend ( first time being in one) and they lasted less than a day. I got only one. Good thing TJ’s 2 hours away or I would be buying them incessantly.
Glad you had a great birthday week!
Elisabeth
The “taking the last bit” is rude part is challenging when it’s a potluck or it seems people are still hungry and there’s not enough to something to go around. I always groan when I walk out and see a teaspoon of peas or a little dollop of mashed potato left. I keep all our leftovers, but it’s not very satisfying to have so little of any one thing.
Pretzels are addictive!!! I will admit I caved and bought another bag of these Snyder Twists. They are so delicious it’s ridiculous.
Catrina
Thanks for such a thought-provoking post, Elisabeth!
I read Atomic Habits a while ago and really enjoyed it – but somehow never signed up for the newsletter. Just did now, thank you!
That Rick Buhrman quote is a powerful reminder that mastering our craft – even in the background, far from the spotlight – can ripple out in ways we’ll never fully see.
Also, that Carl Hiaasen quote is pure gold! I just had an incident this morning (an elderly friend was upset about uncaring neighbours) where I was in the fortunate position to be in the right place at the right time. Quiet, consistent kindness is so needed!
Elisabeth
I hope you enjoy the newsletter as much as I do. It’s short and sweet and always makes me think!
Hooray for quiet, consistent kindness. I’m glad you were able to support someone else in their time of need <3
Grateful Kae
So many good things! LOL at the ice cream. “There was still some left!” I can just hear it now. 😉 Too bad we aren’t closer- over the years we have had continuous mounds of outgrown cleats that were often outgrown before they got worn out! Love that concept of a surprise sealed letter. It would certainly be fun to find one of those! I hope you enjoy your time away and can relax and refresh and unwind. I do know what you mean- so many good/amazing/wonderful things yet life is also filled with… irritations! haha. And it really IS difficult as the kids get older and stay up later and the house just doesn’t settle and wind down in the same way as when they’re younger. Even if I go off to bed earlier, there’s just a different vibe when the house is all still very much “awake”.
Elisabeth
“And it really IS difficult as the kids get older and stay up later and the house just doesn’t settle and wind down in the same way as when they’re younger. Even if I go off to bed earlier, there’s just a different vibe when the house is all still very much “awake”.” Literally yes to all of this. I feel like I never get closure on the day in the same way I did when they were younger. The house is always up, it seems. (Mostly Belle, as a teen, who isn’t tired at 10 pm when I am.) They stay in their rooms but they’re in and out of the bathroom so I hear them in the hallway, etc. I love the independence but it’s a very different vibe.
Stephany
I need to sign up for James Clear’s newsletter. Somehow I’ve subscribed to all of these political newsletters, which is good for staying informed but bad for my mental health lol. I need more happy, motivating newsletters!
Just the other day I walked by a bird chirping away on top of a car and thought to myself, “I wonder what kind of bird that is.” And had to take a MOMENT. I’ve never been a bird enthusiast in the least and now am I going to become a bird watcher?!?! Time will tell.
I’m so glad you felt loved and appreciated on your birthday – as you should!
Elisabeth
Oh, I think you’ll love it. It is thought-provoking, but never in a challenging way.
I’m hopeless with identifying bird calls, but I can still admire how beautiful they sound!
Birchie
When I read your grievance list, my first thought wasn’t your cycle, it was “tell me that the school year is almost over without telling me that the school year is almost over”. I just about lost my mind this time around. One of the boys had a lot on his plate, and things were super crazy for a while there.
A walk with Kristen!!! She is one of my favorite people on the internet – introduced to me by San of course since she is the OG connector. Normally I don’t like to tell other people what to do, but I think she should get herself a plane ticket to NS as a graduation present.
Alright, enough with everyone giving me highlights from James Clear’s newsletter. I’m subscribing to see what all of the fuss is about.
Elisabeth
I am so ready for school to be over. The kids are ready and it feels like everything is slowly falling apart/I just don’t care to hold it all together. That + PMS = danger zone 🙂
A walk with Kristen! And we’ll fit in a walk “together” next week! Can’t wait. I’d love to host her here in NS and this she would love it.
Subscribe, Birchie. Methinks you won’t be disappointed.
Nicole MacPherson
So many good things here. First things first: the cheesecake. I’m so happy for you and your cheesecake!
I don’t subscribe to James Clear’s newsletter – I subscribe to a lot of newsletters and I feel like it’s too many at this point, but which will I get rid of? I don’t know – but that is brilliant advice. I also love the thing on Rick Buhrman. Being good at something can be incredibly kind and wonderful! And for some reason acting in a way that cancels out someone else’s “stupid or cruel behaviour” seems really apt and also kind of funny to me.
Oh, I do have a snack rec! I have discovered dried pineapple, from Costco. Once upon a time I made that myself, but it is a pain. But this is just absolutely delicious!
Elisabeth
Nicole, I just had two pieces (one good-sized and then another little sliver JUST BECAUSE) after my lunch.
I unsubscribed from almost all newsletters last year, but James Clear’s made the cut!
Dried pineapple does sound DELICIOUS. I will keep my eyes open. We have a small outlet from Costco in a nearby town and they have all sorts of dried fruit, but I’ve never looked for pineapple. I will report back.
Bijoux
What a sweet, sweet idea your daughter had with the Bad Day note card! I love it! We have many of the same birds as you. I love that so many cities now have murals on the sides of old buildings.
Yes, my family has been notorious for the ‘leaving a tiny bit’ so the package isn’t thrown away. I don’t get it! My recent snack obsession is roasted chickpeas. They are so crunchy and satisfying. I’ve never bought a gift second hand, but why not? I’m part of my local Facebook Buy Nothing group. This week, I got some wooden beads and a new microwave cover for free! It was helpful to me when I needed to get rid of stuff from my mom’s condo, but items that weren’t really for a thrift store (windshield wipers, bowling balls, Febreeze)
Elisabeth
I’m not sure where she got the idea, but it was fun to have that in my drawer (I hadn’t forgotten it) and even more fun to finally open it!
Roasted chickpeas are SO good. I especially like them as my crunch on top of a salad.
I’m not on Facebook and my only real regret is not having easier access to Buy Nothing groups 🙁
Jenny
I finished your whole post and I’m still on my first cup of green tea! ; ) So many happy things here- some are obvious, and some you had to really look for and think about, like the family and community support for your kids. Really appreciating things like that helps offset the unavoidable irritations. On that subject- last Friday was my daughter’s last regular day of school (this week was finals) and my main thought was “NO MORE LUNCHES!!!” For some reason, that is such an unpleasant and unrelenting task.
I’m glad you had such a nice birthday!!! It sounds perfect. And- it sounds like this getaway is coming at the perfect time. I hope you give us lots of details so we can live vicariously.
It’s funny that we both randomly decided to shout out Sarah’s book today! I love the cover and I can’t wait to read it.
Elisabeth
When I found out I was pregnant with Indy my first thought was “Oh no…I have to go through naps all over again.” I HATED managing infant/toddler naps. And now that phase is far in the rear-view mirror, but I’m feeling similarly about lunchboxes!
coco
So funny that Bella played in a play, Lizzy played a small part at school drama yesterday too. She loved the experience.
I use Hybak for dry eyes and it’s the best one as it’s preservative free. You can use as many times as you need.
I like quotes but enjoy them more when there’s a story attached to it as it makes it more memorable. I used to subscribe to his newsletter but then I stopped. There are so many things to read.
I never bought second hand gift but wouldn’t mind. It’s just not easy to find them here in Brasil nor was common in Asia.
I am loving roasted cashew as snack recently.
Elisabeth
I’ll look up that brand of drops. Thanks for the rec, Coco!!!
Cashews are some of my favourite things to snack on as well!
Lisa's Yarns
Phil wouldn’t put ice cream away with THAT little but he will put things away when there is barely any left. I would finish it off because I am a completist and get satisfaction in finishing something off. He is such a moderator that he will stop eating even if there is a very small amount of something left! So I will find a bag of chips with the tiniest amount left and wonder – WHY???
I subscribe to a lot of newsletters! Most of them are about books/reading but one that isn’t is “Hot Flash” which is written by an endocrinologist and is all about menopause/women’s health changes. It’s really good!
Enjoy the week up at your parents! I know that will be such a balm for your soul!!
Elisabeth
I’m far more like you. I sometimes keep eating when I’m full just because it feels “right” to finish it off/clean it up.
I’m really looking forward to the time away!
Michelle G.
What a great list of happy things! I’m glad you’ll get away to your parents’ house for a break before a long stretch of solo parenting. I subscribe to a bunch of newsletters – too many! One of my recent favorites is Dave Barry’s newsletter on substack. He’s so funny!
Elisabeth
I don’t have any funny newsletters coming to me at this point…and Dave Barry is HILARIOUS!
Alexandra
Such a great list of happy things for this Friday, and some lovely hidden bonuses (Belle) how sweet is that?
Oh, and before I forget, belated birthday wishes. And how lovely to get homemade cheese cake, what a great husband.
As for new snack discoveries? I’m trying out the new Planter’s trail mixes in brightly coloured bags. I have the wild version this week and it’s okay, though nothing special to be honest. Meanwhile, those pretzels? How can I get those?
Elisabeth
I bought the pretzels at Independent, so I suspect they’d be at Superstore/Loblaws? In my store they’re right next to Party Mix in the chips aisle. But be warned they are SO addictive.
Kim Carberry
It sounds like you really needed that nap and no wonder with everything that you’ve had going on and to do! I hope you have a great break away at your parents place.
What lovely moments from your week and happy birthday to you! Good job with the thrift store bargains!
Yes!!! My girls drive me crazy putting the tiniest amount of food back just to not have to deal with putting the packaging in the bin! I found one chicken nugget in a bag in the freezer the other day. Ugh!
Elisabeth
One chicken nugget?! Argh. “Smoke would have been coming out of both my ears” as they say.
Central Calif. Artist Jana
YOU GOT TO TALK TO KRISTEN??!!! That is so Happy Things worthy. Wowsa.
Thank you for using my painting of the lighthouse!
Thank you for showing that mural.
Just reading about your week makes me want a nap.
I also enjoyed James Clear’s 2-fold approach to comparison. That guy is a genius. I’ve been v e r y s l o w l y reading Atomic Habits. I put it off for several years because I thought it would make me feel like a loser-slob-sluggard. The weird thing is that I haven’t been able to identify habits I want to break or habits I want to form.
You must have a ton of thrift shops where you live. We have one in our tiny town, so I often take things down the hill to get rid of. There is a strong possibility that we will see our donated items on other people around town. I took my wedding dress there a number of years ago and one of the volunteers called me to ask if I had meant to do that and did I want her to hold it back for me to retrieve. Nope. Staying married, no daughters (or sons), and if I ever had need for a wedding dress again, I’d want a new one.
Elisabeth
I know! It was such a lovely conversation and definitely a very Happy Thing this week.
I really appreciate Clear’s work. It is motivating without being demoralizing or judgemental.
We have one main thrift store (a chain) in a neighbouring town, and then another thrift store I like to visit for clothing. Beyond that, we visit a few different stores in Halifax (the capital of the province/biggest city) whenever we need to be in there for some reason.
I actually sold my wedding dress on Kijiji (which is like Craigslist).
Joy
Such a lovely summary! That distinction about comparison is just right! I tend to be a copy-er, that is, I often get inspiration from watching what’s working for others but in this way it’s a tremendously positive force in my life, even though it’s technically comparison. I realize after reading this that it is in the realm of specific, small-scale things that this works best for me. Happy weekend, Friend!
Elisabeth
Inspiration seems to have such a positive spin. We can be inspired to try something new without feeling bad about ourselves, where comparison can often lead to a downward spiral. I also liked the idea of comparing little, measurable/changeable things.
Have a great weekend <3
Joy
I need to reread Atomic Habits, too, and just signed up for his newsletter. I plan to preorder SHU’s book, too, but after June, our family’s big birthday month (5 close members of my family) and all its related spending.
Elisabeth
It seems like every family has a “big” month. Ours is February!
I haven’t re-read Atomic Habits in a few years and am definitely due.
a a
1. I love grackles! I’d never noticed one before moving to AZ. They remind me of rowdy teens—traveling in huge packs back and forth, shouting and singing so loudly, hanging out in Dunkin Donuts and Walmart parking lots, having shiny hair (feathers), and sitting up in the rafters (like hecklers in the top of bleachers at a school event)! 2. when my family got to the end of an ice cream container, my mom spun it as “the licks”— getting the privilege of being the person who got to have the very last of it! Now I’m seeing her motive!
Elisabeth
Ha! Love the comparison of birds to teens. Yes, many overlaps!
I should try that “licks” idea with my kids. My son ALWAYS wants to be the person to get the first taste of a fresh jar of peanut butter. He considers it an absolute triumph to load the first bite onto a spoon and savour it.
Sophie
Firstly, a big belated happy birthday Elisabeth! I’ve been mostly off blogs this week (it was a crazy one), and so didn’t realise. Sounds like it was a lovely one – hooray. 🙂 Nice to hear all your happy things.
I subscribe to Oliver Burkeman’s, Laura Vanderkam and Cal Newport’s newsletters. And SHU’s of course. I own Atomic Habits and enjoyed that book, so will check out the newsletter.
Enjoy your little retreat at your parents’ place – looking forward to hearing how it goes, hope it is just the R&R you need.
Elisabeth
I get all of those newsletters, too!
I’m excited to the time away. It will be long enough to fully exhale, but I also know summer will require a lot of energy and planning so I’m hoping to get a jump start on setting things up for “success” (emotional and energy-wise).
Maria
Congrats Belle! Baptism is such an important moment in your life. May her walk with God continue to be blessed!
Ahahahaha about the ice cream. Growing up no one wanted to take the last bit of a baked good so we’d all cut a bit off the remaining portion and it would just get smaller and smaller and smaller. It was the Zeno’s Paradox of baked goods.
A happy thing for me – We need to repaint our foundation this summer. I went to get the paint last night and the lady who tinted it to the right colour said “You know this was on a major sale two days ago. I don’t think it’s right for you to have to pay full price.” So she marked it down from $96 to the same price of $68! Given I was getting three cans of it that was a huge discount and a really nice surprise!
Elisabeth
That’s such a happy surprise!!! I love getting a discount, especially when it’s not expected.
Thanks for such kind words about the baptism. It was a special moment and I’m glad she was at the point to be interested and have the understanding needed for this step (which, in my mind, is simply an outward manifestation of a change in one’s “heart”).