Today’s guest has her hands full – literally. Currently on maternity leave after having twins, Rachel has a full-time career in project management and is based in South Wales.
She blogs regularly, writing thoughtful reflections on gender roles in the workforce and at home, offering relatable time management strategies, and explaining her motivation to be a digital minimalist (including going analogue for extended periods of time). She also shares about life adventures – camping! art projects! scary mermaids! – with her young family.
Rachel and her husband – Andy – have four children under the age of six (including the aforementioned twins). Life is busy. In any spare time, Rachel enjoys running, mountain biking, hiking, and being outside with the people she loves.
Welcome, Rachel!
Q. What aspect of your current life would most surprise 20-year-old Rachel?
Oh so much! The fact that I live in Wales. The fact that I have four children! The fact that I enjoy exercise, especially mountain biking, and that I’ve done triathlons and half marathons. Oh, and the fact that I like spicy food. 20 year old Rachel used pasta sauce for enchiladas because basic store bought enchilada sauce was too spicy.
Q. Best decision you’ve ever made in your life (or, what decision are you most proud of)?
Going travelling by myself when I was 23. I decided to travel the world and I just left with a backpack. I loved traveling alone and I learned more in that year than any other year of my life. I spent 4 months in Europe and 3 in Asia, with a budget of $30 a day (including accommodation). That was okay for Asia but pretty tricky for Europe – I’ve probably seen every free museum, library, park and public space in every city I visited. [Love it!]
Q. What seemingly “little” moment have you observed or been a part of lately that brought a disproportionate amount of joy?
I have 6 month old twins, who are definitely our last children, and recently one got her first tooth. I was so excited for her! And I had the thought of “oh, it’s my last time having a baby with a first tooth!”. Then I looked at her sister and realized no, I have another baby yet to get a first tooth. So I’m happy that I get to have two “last firsts” with twins, and it’s helping me remember not to rush to the next thing. [Such an interesting observation and, having never had twins, it must be fascinating to watch two tiny humans grow both simultaneously…yet independently! Best wishes on the many teething days to come!]
Q. Do you have a go-to reset when you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling to stay focused?
Take a shower! Whenever I start to feel overwhelmed I try and take a shower. It gives me time to think. and even if I don’t feel much calmer or focused afterwards, at least I’m clean. It also works on bad nights of sleep – if children have kept me up too much a morning shower can temporarily counteract the debilitating effects of sleep deprivation. [Yes!]
Q. If you could add (or subtract) one habitual behaviour in your life, what would it be?
Someday I would like to be a daily yoga practicer and/or daily meditator.
Q. What’s one piece of advice you wish you had heard (or understood) at an earlier age?
Get more sleep. I wish I understood better how our bodies and our minds are linked. I always thought I could rationalize myself from feelings, but actually if I had focused more on the basics – getting enough sleep, moving, being outside, I would have been much happier much sooner in life.
Q. If you could eat only one meal on repeat for a week, what would you choose?
Oooh – Probably fish tacos. Or any tacos. I LOVE tacos and can’t often find them in Wales. My favorite food used to be burritos. When I was backpacking I was once asked what I missed most from home and I said “burritos”. The next person said “my friends and family”. You can see where my priorities lie.
Q. What international destination – that you’ve never visited – do you most want to see?
The Transylvanian Alps in Romania.
But also, I want to visit Kentucky and North Dakota someday because then I will have visited all 50 states in the USA. [Impressive!]
Q. Share a weird/random/true fact – any odd skills or unusual experiences?
I’m going to pick “unusual experiences” – my daughter was born September 2020 and there were a number of Covid rules around hospital births and partners being present. I didn’t want to be separated from my husband during birth so about two weeks before I was due I decided to try a home birth. When I went into labor two NHS midwives came to my house – I was worried at 8am that I had called too early but my daughter was born at home at 10:30 am and I was having a cup of tea and a biscuit by noon. My husband said it happened so fast he didn’t even get to finish his breakfast!
When I found out I was pregnant with twins for my third pregnancy, and that the second twin was breech, I thought that meant a cesarean. Although I did opt for a hospital birth in the end (at over 38 weeks pregnant) I did not have a cesarean and the twins and I were home 24 hours after they were born. (I don’t know if this is odd or unusual enough… 2% of babies in the UK are born at home, and 30% of twin births are not cesarean but only 1.5% of pregnancies are twin pregnancies so we are probably looking at statistically small numbers combining all these factors?)
Q. If you got to relive one memorable day from the past, which day would you choose?
In my current life with 4 kids age five and under I would love to relive any day before I had children because my whole life was a holiday and I didn’t know it at the time. [“My whole life was a holiday and I didn’t know it at the time“ is one of the best descriptions of the switch into motherhood I’ve ever heard!] One day that comes to mind is mountain biking the Alpine trail in Oakridge Oregon – 15 miles and 4,000 feet of single track mountain biking. It was one of my best mountain bike rides ever.
Q. What is the best gift you’ve ever received?
Early in our relationship my husband bought me a three piece set of tupperware for my birthday, and then my first birthday after we got married my husband gave me a hot water bottle and a peanut butter stirrer (https://www.lehmans.com/product/natural-peanut-butter-mixer/). I was disappointed and fairly annoyed. However; I used that hot water bottle for ages and I still own the tupperware 10 years later. When I was lamenting the peanut butter stirrer to a friend she asked me if gifts really mattered to me and I realized they do not – gifts are not my love language. In a long-form answer, the best gift I’ve received is realizing that it’s ok not to be a gift person. But also, that tupperware is still going strong and used almost daily!
That said… I love receiving food gifts. A bag of random foods from a random shop (especially Trader Joes in the US or Waitrose in the UK) will absolutely make my day.
Q. What is your favourite time of day?
I love the morning. It is full of potential. I don’t currently have a super exciting morning routine, but just waking up and realizing I have a whole day that could potentially be great (or potentially be OK, depending on how much sleep I’ve had) is definitely my favorite. I do love my morning coffee and looking at my planner and thinking about what the day could be like. I usually try and ask myself “what will make today a success for me?” and right now the answer is often “Laundry done” or “make dinner” but sometimes I do have bigger goals like going for a run. Small babies mean I am in a season of small goals right now and someday I’ll be in a season of big goals again.
Q. Tell us something about your personality you think might surprise readers!
I used to be very cynical and negative. My favorite motto in High School was “the lower you aim the shorter you fall”. Traveling was the start of me becoming a more positive person and then when I started gratitude journaling in 2020 I feel like I slowly switched to being a generally very positive person. I also started carefully controlling my inputs – I removed all social media and podcasts that were negative (mostly people yelling about “news” and current events”) and now I would definitely say I am not cynical at all and generally very positive/optimistic.**
**I think there’s a huge difference between cynical and pessimist. I love Elisabeth’s blog because she considers herself an optimistic pessimist – for me that means she can see the worst and hope for the best. I think a cynical person expects the worst and hopes for the worst because that proves them right. One can be pessimistic without being cynical.
Q. Introvert or extrovert?
Definite Extrovert. I learned that I get energized from social events. I prefer meeting people one on one or small groups though. Large groups and parties stress me out – but going out to dinner (or play dates) with 1-5 friends is the best. I don’t like large group text threads (which is why I can’t stand Whatsapp!) but love in person catch ups as much as possible.
Thanks, Rachel! It was lovely to have you here today – I know any spare time is precious and I’m honoured you used some of it to answer my questions!
Your turn! Any questions for Rachel? Has anyone been to all 50 US States? Has anyone reading here given birth at home? Any other readers with twins?! Do you have any funny gift stories?
Birchie
Yay Rachel! It’s so nice to see you here at Elisabeth’s house.
I’m not a gift person either – but I love it when someone figures out that perfect thing that I didn’t know that I needed. I also love it when I come up with a good gift for someone, since it’s pretty rare.
I haven’t even been to 48 states but my goal is to change that in the next 10 years. I’d like to spend at least one night in every state and province. Given that I’ve just spent nights in 3 different states in the past week this should be very achievable.
Elisabeth
As someone who recently stirred natural peanut butter and said a few choice words…I will admit that her PB stirrer thingy has a fair amount of appeal.
Also – go Birchie! You are just knocking these travels goals off your list like flies!
Jenny
Hi Rachel!! I love these posts because I get to learn the backstory of all these bloggers I’ve only recently “met.”
I did in fact give birth to my daughter at home! And my son was born in a birth center with a midwife, which was basically like giving birth in someone else’s home.
The most exciting thing from this post is- there’s such a thing as a penaut butter stirrer??????? I wonder if I can get one in time for Father’s Day. My husband complains every time he has to stir the peanut butter (and then does a terrible job, so the top is still all oily and the bottom is a hardened mass.). Mind blown!
Elisabeth
Wow! Chalk this up as something new I learned about you Jenny. I had no idea A was born at home!
So what I do right now for drippy PB is empty it all out into a big bowl and use electric beaters for it. I boarded with a lady that taught me that trick. It’s extra work and I still manage to get my hands oily but it is – in my opinion – the only way to really get everything properly mixed. If you were really ahead of the curve, you could do multiple jars at a time so all the mess and fuss of dirtying a dish/using beaters would be offset by doing it less frequently?
Kyria @ Travel Spot
Hi Rachel! I love the story about 23 year old you, and of course the two backpacks and the grocery bag. I remember those days, lugging around the two backpacks on busses and trains! Funny, on one hand I want that life again, but on the other, I have definitely evolved and some of the things are not up my alley anymore (12 bed dorm room, no thanks.)
I put the Alpine Trail on my list of things to try someday. I am not a good mountain biker by all means, but I am always willing try! Sometimes I get a bit scared from certain single track routes, but that photos makes it look not too hairy.
Re PB stirrer, how is it different than a knife? Inquiring minds want to know.
Elisabeth
Clearly the PB stirrer has peaked interest. I have zero luck stirring PB with anything other than beaters. When I use a knife I can’t get the hard stuff loosened enough to stir it in without spilling oil out everywhere. So I’m just wondering how you manage to do it competently with a knife.
What I really should start doing it buying it at a bulk store so it comes out of a machine pre-mixed!
Ally Bean
Thanks for introducing me to Rachel. I’m right there with her: “Someday I would like to be a daily yoga practicer and/or daily meditator.” I think about doing that, but as of yet… haven’t succeeded.
Elisabeth
There’s always time, Ally.
That said, maybe it doesn’t really matter or fit in your life. You have so many wonderful habits and things already established and at a certain point I think we all get to sit back and decide that’s enough tinkering with our lives/bodies?
That said, yoga this year has definitely made me more flexible. I am not doing it daily anymore, but knowing that I have the basic know-how means a lot.
Lindsay
I felt such a connection to this because someone recently asked me if I could relive a weekend, what weekend would I relive? All I could think was of a before-motherhood and even before-house weekend with no one needing me to keep them alive except for me keeping me alive, haha! I can’t wait to learn more about your travels and current take on parenting and time and all of that stuff I’m knee-deep in.
Elisabeth
Yes, yes, yes. Between kids and houses there is always something that could/should or must be done!
(If you haven’t read Rachel’s blog before, I know you’re going to love it!)
J
Hi Rachel! Great to see you here!
I love that you traveled alone when you were 23. I sometimes wish I had done more of that kind of thing when I was young, but I didn’t prioritize it I guess. I mean, I say I didn’t have the money, but if I had been willing to lose my seniority at my job and give up my apartment, and keep my belongings in my mother’s garage, I could have done it. Totally doable. But those things scared me too much, so I didn’t. As Elisabeth said to Ally (about yoga), it’s not too late! I could travel alone now, if it were a priority. Interesting thought experiment.
Thinking about reliving a day before you had kids, it’s the phase of life you are in I think. My MIL says sometimes that she would like to go back and relive one day when her kids were all small. Only one day, she remembers how much work it was, but she is still wistful about that time. When I answered these questions, I said my wedding day, because it was such a lovely day. But I think I would like to relive just an ordinary day of being a kid too. Maybe in Alaska, playing with my dog, dinner with my mom and my brother.
Add me to the chorus of folks curious about the peanut butter stirrer. I’m curious to know whether that item actually got use or not? My husband loves natural peanut butter, and does not like it refrigerated, so he has to stir it every time he uses it. It doesn’t separate a LOT, but if you neglect the stirring, by the time you get down to the bottom, it’s hard. He used to do it Elisabeth’s way, in a big bowl, but hasn’t done that in a couple of years. I may get him one for Father’s Day, since it’s coming up. He doesn’t really expect a gift from me, just from our adult daughter, so he won’t be disappointed by it.
Elisabeth
I bet Rachel didn’t forsee her peanut butter stirrer breaking the internet.
It is interesting how each of our unique stories unfold. I was married just after I turned 22 and had my first child when I was 23…with zero gap between high school and university and then zero gap between undergrad and grad school (when I got married) and zero gap between grad school and having a baby. There wasn’t any chance to travel the world really…but now I’m getting that chance in my late 30s (albeit with kids in tow) when many women I know are just starting their families. So it seems to come full circle, we just do things in a different order!
Diane
Rachel always has such thoughtful things to write about on her blog!
I really feel that thought about the last first tooth- it’s such a cliche when people tell you to savor each moment, but there is something so amazing yet ordinary about a first tooth. And all those other milestones.
All my babies were born in the hospital, and I actually was kind of sad I couldn’t stay longer- the nurses were so nice and someone would bring me food at the press of a buzzer. Never mind that the food wasn’t amazing- I really enjoyed not having to make it myself.
Elisabeth
I love seeing a new post from Rachel show up in my feed. She’s a blogging gem. I still remember being agoog when she announced she was having twins! I’m so glad I was friends with her before the big announcement because it makes it extra special to read about the joys (and challenges) of having two wee ones at once since I remember how surprised I was – nothing compared her surprise I’m sure! – to discover she and Andy would be having twins.
Nicole MacPherson
I’ve never met Rachel! Hi Rachel, nice to meet you! Thanks Elisabeth for the intro.
Lisa’s Yarns
I have twin uncles and twin cousins and the sister of the twin cousins has twins. I thought I wanted twins before having kids. Then we had one baby and I was like – oh never mind! Phil was never wishing for twins, though.
I am so not a gift person and Phil isn’t either thank goodness. We don’t exchange gifts for anything and instead try to give each other the gift of time. I especially do this for Phil since he solo parents a fair amount.
I have not been to all 50 states! I used to have a count of the ones I had visited but need to refresh that. I am from ND, though! I would definitely suggest the western part of the state if she visits. It’s very pretty out west. The eastern part of the state is flat farmland so not worth a visit IMO!
San
Yay Rachel, so lovely to learn more about you… these post are like the “summaries” of the lives of bloggers that I only discovered more recently and it fills in a lot of “knowledge gaps”. I feel like I know you *that* much better now.
I really enjoy all of her posts but especially the once about her digital minimalism and gender roles in the work place. Such important topics to write about (although I understand her content has recently shifted more towards family life with four kids under 5.
I am not sure if you knew already from my blog, but I am a twin and I have to agree that it’s fascinating growing up with someone the exact same age and going through all the milestones alone but together 🙂
Also, a PB stirrer. Who knew such a thing existed? 🙂
Melissa
It was so good to get to know a bit more about Rachel. Her life right now is pretty full-on with the twins and two more young children. I feel tired just thinking about it.
I too enjoy Rachel’s musings re phones and women in the workplace, a lot of food for thought.
Suzanne
This was so fun to read, Rachel! Love all the photos of your family and your adventures. You and I are taco soul mates, I think. I can 100% see myself answering “tacos” if someone asked me what I missed most about being away from my country. Priorities!
Elisabeth
I know you love tacos and burritos, Suzanne. Rachel’s answer made me laugh. Food is frequently on my mind and I can see myself responding in a similar way!!
Rachel
Oh Elisabeth thank you so much for hosting me! I just love the blogging world and these comments made my day. Even thought it took me two days to reply. I appreciate everyones thoughts so much! And I’m fascinated to learn about fellow bloggers here – I can’t figure out how to reply to posts but I was so excited to learn that Jen had a homebirth too!
I will definitely have to write more about the peanut butter stirrer on my blog soon. I did not know it existed before I was gifted it – and it would have been a pretty good gift if I hadn’t had my heart secretly set on a Patagonia better sweater.
Also, Julie’s note aobut wanting to relive a day when kids are babies is definitely something for me to think about. Although days are hard right now I can imagine there is a time I’ll wish I could come back to this day, the way I wish I could go back to 10 years ago sometimes. Great perspective.
Thank you Elisabeth for introducing me to so many interesting and wonderful bloggers!
Elisabeth
Awww, thanks for being here, Rachel <3
Maria
I enjoyed reading this and getting to meet a new blogger, especially since she and I have a lot of similarities in terms of age of kiddos! A question for Rachel! How have you found raising your kids in a different country than the one you were raised in? (I think I’m right that that’s what you’re doing.) I’m doing the same and I’d love to hear another mom’s perspective.
rachel
I’m not sure if this comment will showup as a reply to Maria, but yes it’s lovely to meet you online! I’m interested to hear about your journey raising kids in another country as well. Such a good question and one I should probably do a post on too. The weird bit is things I don’t “get” about childhood, like the fact that people don’t serve cake at kids parties. Or that the “hokey pokey” is called the “hokey cokey” and has slightly different lyrics. I think I did a lot of things “wrong” when my son started school – we got too much of the wrong uniform. We bought school shoes we thought he needed but didn’t. I also think I don’t really know social norms over here as much but I’m too busy to let that bother me. What have you found to be the biggest challenges for you?
I think it will be especially odd whenever we get back to the states and I’ll have four children with british/welsh accents. I don’t hear their accents over here but I bet it’s going to be pretty striking when I’m around north americans again.
Tobia | craftaliciousme
Thank you Rachel for these answers. It has been to long since I really followed along on your blog. And need to catch up. I am always amazed and envy everyone who managed to get some solo traveling in. I was never brave enough unfortunately. I think I would have loved it though…