Guest Post: Welcome Melissa!!

I’m excited to welcome Melissa to my little corner of the internet this May morning. Hosting someone from the other side of the world – quite literally – is always extra thrilling. Melissa hails from Australia and blogs regularly at The Brighton Jotter. (I think we first crossed paths during one of San’s NaBloPoMo events?)

She lives with her husband and they both enjoy spending time with their three grown children. Outside of work and church commitments, she likes gardening, travel, running, photography, reading and, of course, delicious food!

Take it away, Melissa!

Q. What aspect of your current life would most surprise 20-year-old Melissa? 

Turning 20-year-old me would be shocked that I am a committed Christian. That was the year I started following Jesus, but prior to that, I was openly dismissive. I was the person who, when the Christian Students approached, would say, “Why are you talking to me?” and walk away. I guess Christianity is not what I thought it was back then. Nick Cave, in a recent Red Hand File, wrote, “​​To my considerable surprise, I have found some of my truths in that wholly fallible, often disappointing, deeply weird, and thoroughly human institution of the Church. At times, this is as bewildering to me as it may be to you.” which puts into words my experience better than I could myself.

Q. Best decision you’ve ever made in your life (or, what decision are you most proud of?)?

The best decision I made in my life was to find out why on earth my boyfriend (now husband) would say, “My faith is important to me.” … that is after I stopped laughing and realised he was being serious. See above for the outcome.

Q. What seemingly “little” moment have you observed or been a part of lately that brought a disproportionate amount of joy?

Sitting on the wall and watching the sun go down over the bay with G, my daughter and our dog. [Sounds perfect.]

Q. Do you have a go-to reset when you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling to stay focused?

Ideally, I would write a list or pick something easy to do and get it done. More often, I just start raiding the pantry. Although now that the kids are mostly not home, we don’t have much in there to snack on. This is probably a good thing, but when the cravings start, it can be quite frustrating. The thing that really kicks me into gear, though, is a tight deadline. 

Q. What’s one piece of advice you wish you had heard (or understood) at an earlier age?

Don’t sweat the small stuff—but the real trick is correctly identifying what’s small. [I think this is one of the Secrets of Adulthood; getting better – bit by bit – at categorizing what does and does not really matter.]

Q. What has been your favourite purchase so far in 2024?

That is hard because I’m not a big buyer of things, so I’m going to say our meal at Aloft when we were in Tasmania. 

Q. If you could eat only one meal on repeat for a week, what would you choose?

I’m answering this for the imaginary world where I have no problems with eating dairy, and I choose lasagna with a green salad and garlic bread. Realistically, if I actually did this, I would probably end up with a major eczema flare-up.

Q. What international destination—that you’ve never visited—do you most want to see?

Oh, there are so many! But if I have to pick one, I think I’ll choose Japan. Fantastic history, natural beauty, food and culture and very clean. The good news is that I’m pretty sure it will make it onto our travel plans soon because Tokyo hosts one of the big six marathons.

Q. If you could snap your fingers and have all the capabilities necessary to excel in any career or hobby (e.g. if your wish was to be a famous rockstar, you’d magically have the necessary vocal/instrumental skills), what would you choose and why?

I would love to be able to sing, not as a profession, just as a hobby. I do love music and love to sing at church, but I prefer it when it is loud, so I can sing and no one can hear me. I think it would be amazing to be able to sing well and not need to worry about the way I sound. I know I don’t actually need to worry about that when we are singing in church but the fact is that I do, and it does reduce my enjoyment of the moment. And if I had some natural running talent, that would be awesome too … I’m a bit greedy, yes?

Q. List five things that would happen as part of your idealized “perfect day”.

Go for a nice walk or easy run in a beautiful setting. Go out for lunch with G. Get a massage. Have a big block of reading time. Relaxing bath before bed.

Q. What is your most treasured possession? 

My most treasured possession would have to be our photos. I have taken a lot of photos since I was a teenager, and I love having them to help me remember things from my life. Sometimes I even get a surprise! I was getting together photos for my daughter’s primary school years photobook last week, and I stumbled across some photos of me having a surfing lesson with our daughter. Even with the photographic proof, I still don’t remember doing it, although I have strong memories of watching my husband having a surfing lesson with the same daughter in the same place. Did I block this experience out? I don’t think it was that traumatic. Funnily enough, when I mentioned it to G, he couldn’t remember it either and he must have been the one taking the photos.

Q. If you could only wear one colour for the rest of your life, which colour would you choose?

I have to choose black because I’m a true Melburnian, and I do have a lot of black clothes. Black is flattering, slimming and good at hiding the fact that I’m often a sweaty mess. If we’re talking actual colours though, I’ve had a thing for green over the last few years.

Q. Favourite racing experience and why?

This one is hard, even though I’ve only been running for ten years. Favourite is also a strong word because good races, timewise, aren’t usually that enjoyable. Obviously, PB races are always memorable, but I am going to pick the Gold Coast Marathon 10K in 2018. It was the first time I knuckled down and completed a proper training plan with taper for a race in an effort to get a sub-50 minute run. The conditions were perfect, the course was flat, and I nailed it in 49:03 with a slight negative split. It’s still my 10K PB, plus I did a 5K PB in the last half of the race, and both times are still my PB for those distances. That was the last 10K goal race I’ve done, and I’m not sure I would be able to go faster.

Q. Did you have any pets as a child? 

Our first pet was a beagle named Tammy, who mainly lived at Mumma’s (my mum’s mum) house next door to us. Our gardens were joined up, and Tammy wandered around the place. We didn’t have any fences, and she used to wander around the neighbourhood scavenging for food. At one stage, she sneaked into our school and stole girls’ lunches out of their bags. My sisters and I played dumb and pretended we didn’t know who this naughty dog was. [Hilarious!!]

The next pet we had was a cat that Dad rescued from one of his building sites. It was dumped there in a brown paper bag. We called her Misty, and she was great until she disappeared for six weeks. When she came back, she was pretty feral and used to hide behind doorways and jump out and scratch your legs. She ended up decamping to Mumma’s as well, then developed a bad habit of walking behind the cars when we were leaving. One day she doubled back behind my car when I was reversing, and I ran her over. 

The final pet our family had was a little Cavalier King Charles Spaniel called Danny who was very, very cute, but also extremely anxious. He didn’t like getting wet and muddy, or other dogs, or cars, or bikes, or anything unusual, really. He lived a long life and is buried under the rose bush at my parents place at Point Lonsdale.

Q. If you were doing it for fun – and money was no object/didn’t factor into your decision – what would your dream job be?

I would have loved to do cutting-edge Chemistry research, and I am still fascinated by good science. The main reason I didn’t pursue a career in research after my PhD was the need to relocate to progress and the problem of combining pregnancy and breastfeeding with lab work that involved cytotoxins. As it was, I was on tenterhooks until my thesis passed because I was pregnant and knew that if they wanted more benchwork, I wouldn’t be able to do it for quite a while. My PhD supervisor rang me a couple of years later offering some work, but I was pregnant with our second child, so had to decline. [Eeks. I had to work with pyrethroids during my first pregnancy; I tried to outsource direct contact as much as possible but was nearing the end of my graduate degree and when I needed to work with any form of chemical – natural or otherwise – I just had to be outrageously cautious and do everything possible in a fume hood. A lesser-discussed impact of pregnancy on women in scientific research!]

Q. What is the best gift you’ve ever received?

I’ve received many great gifts, and I don’t know whether this is the “best” one, but one good gift, that is a thing, is our dining table. My dad bought the wood to get a table made for their outdoor area but decided not to go ahead so he got it made up into a dining table for us instead. It sits ten people normally but can seat twelve pretty well and fourteen at a pinch. It’s a gift that makes getting together with friends and family a breeze. We’ve had many good gatherings around it, and it’s also big enough to fit our puzzles on one end and our family around the other. [Melissa and her family are devoted puzzlers! I can see why a giant table would be a real asset!]

Q. How and where did you meet your husband?

G and I met at university. We were both originally studying Engineering/Science double degrees. Our classes in first year didn’t overlap, but we did have mutual friends in the course. One night, after end-of-first-year exams I went with our friends to TocH, a club in Toorak. Sometime during the night, I left the dance floor and went off to one of the side rooms. Peering across the billiard table through the haze of smoke (this was before smoking was banned at all indoor venues) I saw G, and we started chatting, and our friendship began. In second year G dropped science and picked up law instead which should have meant he did the engineering stream of Chemistry, but he organised to continue in the science Chemistry stream so he could hang out with his friends studying science. We happened to be in the same chemistry lectures and, over the course of the semester, developed a strong friendship.  Early in the second semester, we started dating. Our first official date as a couple was with friends on a pub crawl down Chapel St. Then we dated for a few years, broke up for two years, then decided to get back together and quickly got married. We celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary in March. [Congrats!]

Q. What is your favourite time of day?

I love evenings, flopping down on the couch with G to enjoy our latest TV show, or occasionally socialising.

Q. What is the first thing you do in the morning/last thing you do at night?

For the last couple of months, the first thing I do is pray and read my Bible. I roll over, grab my journal, Bible, and prayer book from the dresser, lie in bed, and do it. This is really working well for me, as I am much less likely to get sidetracked and not do it. Before bed, I usually take a bath and read my current fiction book. Once in bed, I do my hip flexor exercises my osteopath gave me to straighten myself out (less than a minute) and then go to sleep.

Q. If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

I’m not angry—that’s just my face. People seem to misread annoyance when I’m just in my head, probably thinking about something else entirely or processing the best response to whatever’s going on. [I laughed at this answer, but can relate! Alas, I have a disgruntled resting face…]

Q. Introvert or extrovert?

I’m an introvert who still loves social situations, especially when those situations are my choice and not forced on me. [This is me. It’s all about being able to control how much and when…]

Thank you so much for guest posting today, Melissa.

Your turn! Any questions for Melissa? Does anyone else have an “angry” resting face? Do you have any food allergies? If so, how dramatically does it impact your life? Any other pet theft stories? Have you ever tried surfing?