Happy Monday, folks – let’s all extend a warm welcome to Daria!
Daria is one of the newest members of the Cool Bloggers Club; she started her blog – Mom of Children – just over a year ago, where she posts regularly about life, parenting, her work as a teacher and travel. She lives with her husband and their two children in New Jersey.
If they’re not spending time together on the East Coast, it’s likely because they’re off on a fabulous international trip! She recently returned from a spring break trip to Paris; in the last few years her family has whisked away to Iceland, Portugal and Spain, and Denmark. Did I mention she has done most of these trips exclusively on her own WITH TWO SMALL CHILDREN? My brain cannot even wrap itself around this possibility.
Let the questions begin! Daria’s answers – and the pictures she sent – provide fascinating glimpses into her personality and life experiences.
Q. What aspect of your current life would most surprise 20-year-old Daria?
The fact that I am a successful, independent, self-made woman. I grew up with a loving yet manic-depressive parent and a loving alcoholic parent so my self-esteem was pretty much non-existent. Add to it years of homeschool, and I had to rebuild myself from the ground up. I had to teach myself how to function in society, through trial and error. So much insecurity and so much self-doubt. I think maybe that’s where my anxiety stems from and it’s always there. Like an old friend.
Q. Best decision you’ve ever made in your life (or, what decision are you most proud of)?
Going through a terrible, traumatic, soul-crushing IVF process. One egg retrieval, four embryo transfers, two miscarriages, and two healthy kids. And for that I am forever thankful. But I am scarred for life. [First, I’m sorry you had to endure that level of physical and emotional pain. I’m so sorry for your losses and the grief and agony that accompany miscarriage and the IVF process. Second, I join you in celebrating the gift and joy that is life with L and R. Third, even with a “happy” ending to the story, there will always be scars. That can be hard to explain. It looks like a neat and tidy resolution but situations like this leave a lasting legacy in terms of fear, anxiety, and pain. IVF is, as you’ve highlighted, a traumatic and soul-crushing process; I’m honoured you chose to discuss it here with us today.]
Q. What seemingly “little” moment have you observed or been a part of lately that brought a disproportionate amount of joy?
I am not sure about disproportionate… I am not really a person who feels lots of joy. I am more about quiet contentment and being satisfied with what I have. There are so many little moments in everyday life that in the grand scheme of things are truly wonderful. I butter my bagel here in bucolic New Jersey, and people are dying on the other side of the planet. Some kids are not getting an education because their schools were obliterated, and L is taking piano lessons. [The disconnect between one reality and another is hard to fathom when we stop to consider it…]
Q. Do you have a go-to reset when you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling to stay focused?
The feeling of overwhelm is very familiar to me. But I can’t blame external forces all the time, rather, it’s more of an internal struggle. I almost make myself overwhelmed by letting things get to me. Little things. I can also be too much in my head sometimes and that can be overwhelming. BUT. To get out of it, I get alone time, and a nice, thorough brain dump, do some self-talk, look at my calendar, eliminate things. Heat works, too: sauna, or a nice hot shower. A good cry works, too. [I could have written this answer verbatim and couldn’t agree more – solitude, a brain dump, planning/eliminating activities, lots of comforting heat sources, and a good cry are all my go-to resets, sometimes all of them at once!]
Q. If you could add (or subtract) one habitual behaviour in your life, what would it be?
Substract: My dislike of exercise. Add: get addicted to exercise. [I don’t want to be addicted to exercise, but I’d settle for a mild craving! I hate sweat! And it takes so much time! And it’s uncomfortable! Yada, yada, yada. I know you feel the same.]
Q. What’s one piece of advice you wish you had heard (or understood) at an earlier age?
Get a mentor, get a calendar, get a notebook, start writing. And: all will be well.
Q. If you could eat only one meal on repeat for a week, what would you choose?
Lox on a bagel, with red onions, capers, and cream cheese. Accompanied by a nice hot cup of black tea with lemon and a generous helping of honey.
Q. What international destination – that you’ve never visited – do you most want to see?
Bagan, Myanmar. I want to see all the temples and stupas and take a balloon ride at sunrise. Maybe for my 50th birthday in 7 years 😉
Q. If you could snap your fingers and have all the capabilities necessary to excel in any career or hobby (e.g. if your wish was to be a famous rockstar, you’d magically have the necessary vocal/instrumental skills), what would you choose and why?
Easy. Teaching! I could snap my fingers and I could get any resource, any material, any platform, that’d be amazing. Hobby… community building or a cat sitter 🙂
Q. List five things that would happen as part of your idealized “perfect day”.
Perfect day… My phone would be away somewhere. I would be up early, do meditation and some journaling, go to a cafe to write, book a trip somewhere new, and meet my sisters for brunch. I will then take a nap, read my book. Then T and I would go out to a restaurant for a date.
Q. What is your most treasured possession?
Don’t really have any possessions that ultimately cannot be replaced. I will go for my body. Having a healthy body is most treasured for me.
Q. If you were doing it for fun – and money was no object/didn’t factor into your decision – what would your dream job be?
Teaching! Or working with young people. Or working with people. Or being a national park ranger.
Q. If you got to relive one memorable day from the past, which day would you choose?
I would happily relive my wedding day. I looked beautiful, I felt beautiful, I was surrounded by friends and family. A butterfly landed on my bouquet during the ceremony, and we decided it was T’s dad who passed a long time ago. My only complaint – that day was too short! [Awww!!]
Q. What is your favourite time of day?
It’s definitely early morning! Early morning on a non-work day. Early morning in May or June, so beautiful.
Q. What is the first thing you do in the morning/last thing you do at night?
Morning: grab my phone to turn off the alarm. But after, I turn the alarm off, put on my bathrobe, and slippers, and slowly go downstairs. Put the kettle on, make my instant coffee with milk and a drop of honey. Sit in the living room and do Insight Timer 10-15 minute meditation. Then I can read blogs, or write, or catch up on WhatsApp messages. Night: grab my phone to make sure the alarm is on.
Thanks for visiting here today, Daria. It’s fun – and insightful – to pull back the proverbial curtain on the lives of blogger friends.
Your turn. Any questions for Daria? Have you ever been in a hot-air balloon? First thing you do in the morning? The name of your favourite teacher from grade school – what subject did they teach and why did they leave such a lasting impression? [Mine would be Mr. Howland, Grade 11/12 English – he loved his job, inspired me to push myself academically, and was so quirky and odd he perfectly fit the stereotype of an eccentric English teacher.]
Jenny
Wow Daria- these are some amazing answers to Elisabeth’s questions! I love the one about your body being your most treasured possession- yes, we only get one of these- and what else do we really need other than a healthy body? And I love the pictures you included!
Kyria @ Travel Spot
How fun to learn more about Daria! I am beyond impressed with the extent of travel you have done Daria, especially with the kids! And solo with the kids to boot! Go you! Sometimes traveling solo is hard, as you have to be the one doing all the work and I imagine it doubles with two littles!!
First thing I do is also turn off the alarm, then I brush my teeth, put in contacts and make coffee!!
Elisabeth
I’ve done a few day trips solo with the kids and, of course, have solo-parented hundreds of days at this point…but the logistics of packing for, traveling overseas, navigating a foreign country etc with YOUNG children seems like (as Yoga with Adriene would say) much too much for me. I am forever amazed how some people do this so well and with such grace. I would lose my mind!
Lisa's Yarns
This is so me: “I am not sure about disproportionate… I am not really a person who feels lots of joy. I am more about quiet contentment and being satisfied with what I have.” That also describes Phil. We joke that we really like to stay in the meaty part of the bell curve of emotions. We don’t have the high highs that other experience but we generally don’t experience the really low lows either (most of the time – this was more true before we had kids!!!). Sometimes I feel some embarrassment over my lack of emotions… I am sure my lexapro medication plays a part in this but that’s for the best.
My best elementary school teacher was Mrs. Pribula. She was just such a kind, sweet teacher – and she taught while having MS which is something I can’t fathom. I also really liked my HS math teacher, Mr. Rasthmussen. He really fostered my love of math and he’s part of why I ended up majoring in Math.
I’m so impressed that Daria will travel across the world with her children on her own. Phil and I don’t have it in us to take our young kids to international destinations. Even a domestic trip is hard. I’ve struggled when I have taken the boys to my parents on my own and that is just a 3 hour car trip (although there have been car rides where one of both kids screamed the entire time… our kids were not great car travelers at a young age…). I think I have a lower threshold for discomfort than Daria does. But I have had a very very cushy upbringing compared to what she experienced! Or I have a lower level of threshold for things out of my control. I’ve trained for and ran 4 marathons so I can experience personal discomfort but muscles screaming at me are different than young children screaming…
Elisabeth
Phew – Rasthmussen is a mouthful! It’s incredible how much impact a teacher can have on “where we end up.”
Our trip to Spain this year was our first real trip with the kids. We’ve done some roadtrips and a few flights to the US, but that has always been to visit my sister so it doesn’t really count since we’re not navigating anything by ourselves.
A whining child is enough to bring even the bravest, strongest person to their knees!
Grateful Kae
Aww love this! Great answers! Yes, I think most people will be in shock/amazement at Daria’s solo traveling with young kiddos. Simply blows my mind! But all the power to her! 😉
I have never been in a hot air balloon, but had plans to ride in one this June! We originally had a trip to Egypt planned for early June and I was planning for us to do a hot air balloon ride in Luxor over the Valley of the Kings. Sadly, we cancelled that trip when the nearby war broke out in Israel, just to be safe. It looked so amazing though!! Maybe someday we’ll get there and do that. 🙂
Elisabeth
I’m sorry you had to cancel your planned trip, but obviously so very wise and necessary given the tragedy unfolding there this last 6+ months.
JMH
Wow, Daria. You basically described my early life. Homeschooled by loving but not fully functioning parents (different DSM diagnoses but also very challenging), almost identical IVF experience, difficult feelings about being self made and successful. Thank you so much for sharing the hard things. You feel alone in your experience sometimes so it’s nice to hear of someone who has been through something similar. I also love travel and teaching! Now that my kids are older and pandemic is ended, I’m so excited for more travel in our future.
Diane
How lovely to see Daria here! I love reading her travel recaps- she has such a sensible and chill approach to travelling with children.
I took a hot air balloon ride years ago while on vacation in Egypt. It was at sunset and so beautiful! I thought it would be scary because i am afraid of heights, but the sides of the basket are very high and it felt very safe.
Elisabeth
I’m not generally overly scared of heights, but will admit the idea of a hot air balloon does scare me a bit. But good point that from the inside, the sides of the basket likely seem quite high!
coco
I enjoy reading Daria’s guest post. Didn’t know what she had to go through in term of fertility treatment. What a strong woman.
I’m also amazed her ability and passion to teach small kids, I can only handle mine.
Isn’t it curious that you don’t like sweat from exercise but yes to sauna?
I’m surprised to see Myanmar as destination you want to visit. Indonesia has a lot of temples too, come to visit us 😉
Daria
Elisabeth, I am so very honored to have a spot on your blog! I enjoyed reflecting with the questions you provided. This is a wonderful, supportive community that I’m am so happy to be part of.
Elisabeth
Awww. What sweet words! Thanks so much for guest posting <3
Lindsay
Oh, I loved this! I’m such a huge Daria fan; her responses to the questions were so nuanced and authentic! My mom worked at my elementary school and all my teachers were her besties so it feels a bit like cheating, but my first grade teacher was (and is) a wild breath of fresh air in my life – she broadened my world view, let me be creative, and understood me (even with my massive speech impediment). She’s one of my daughter’s favorite people now, too!
Elisabeth
Authentic sums this guest post up perfectly!
I can’t tell you how much I love the fact you still keep in contact with your first grade teacher, that she still influences your life in positive ways, and that your daughter gets in on this intergenerational fun!!
J
I loved Daria’s answers to your questions, and I love the pictures as well. Thank you Daria, for the glimpse into your life that you provide. (It strikes me how nosey we all are…the most interesting posts are often those that give us a glimpse of how others live their lives, be those internal or external factors…)
I also resonated with what you said about joy: I am not really a person who feels lots of joy. I am more about quiet contentment and being satisfied with what I have.
I also most live in that middle, I do not experience the highs and lows that some people do. I like it this way. My husband lives in a different reality, he experiences higher highs and lower lows. I think he feels that the lows are worth it because he gets the highs. Vive la difference, right?
Elisabeth
I’m DEFINITELY nosey. All my life behind-the-scenes stuff has been my favourite; bloopers and footage of how movies are made, interviews, etc are MY JAM. I’ve never really thought about it as nosey, but I am endlessly fascinated with how people go about their days!
NGS
Adding “enjoyment of exercise” to my life would honestly be a real gamechanger!! Not resenting an hour of each day would be fabulous!
Ms Murphy taught me the second half of 9th grade English. Our original teacher was fired because the class was sheer chaos when she was in charge and Murphy came in and whipped up into shape and I learned about the freedom of reading in her class. I’m still FB friends with her and see her occasionally when I go back to Michigan. Good teachers have an influence that last for multiple generations.
Elisabeth
Yes! I resent the time! Sigh.
“Good teachers have an influence that last for multiple generations.” Truer words have never been spoken. (Sadly the reverse is true as well…)
San
Awww, I loved reading more about and from Daria… and I love that first family picture! So awesome.
I was especially moved by her answer to the question of what brought her a disproportionate amount of joy… I can relate to the absolute insanity of the disconnect between one reality and another … I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.
Elisabeth
Isn’t that family portrait DELIGHTFUL. I love how often they’re laughing – or making silly faces to make other people laugh – in their pictures.
Michelle G.
What a wonderful interview with Daria! I enjoy her blog so much, but I had no idea what she’d been through in her childhood, or what she’d gone through to have those two adorable children. Thank you for letting me know Daria better!
Sophie
Just catching up on blog posts now and thank you for sharing such honest answers Daria! Great to get to know you better, and what a great perspective on life you have from all your challenges. And amazing all that travel with kids. I’ll have to check out your blog for more details!
Melissa
This is wonderful. Thank you, Daria, for giving us a little more of a peek into your life. I’m so impressed with the way you have dealt with adversity.
I have never been in a hot air balloon, and I’m not sure I’d want to, given my fear of heights.
Tobia | craftaliciousme
What a wonderful post, Daria. And thank you Elisabeth for hosting. It’s always so interesting to see how different and yet in certain areas similar we are. Love it. Myanmar looks amazing.
I’d say my art teachers all had some lasting impact and I can name every single one. It’s amazing how much teachers imprint young minds and how much they give direction or demotivate.