I thought it would be fitting to round out this month of FIG collection by taking a deep dive into the particulars of different gratitude practices. And we’re starting this little series with a blogger who incorporates gratitude into every single post she writes!
Grateful Kae is no stranger to my blog (see her first guest post here), but today she’s returning to talk all things gratitude. She’ll pull back the curtain on some of the little rituals that help brighten her days and I hope her down-to-earth approach to gratitude will inspire others.
Welcome, Kae!
Hi! Thank you so much for having me back, Elisabeth! It is truly an honor. [Aww. Thanks for saying Yes!]
People who have read my blog know that gratitude is kind of my “jam”, so this is definitely a topic I’m happy to guest post about. 🙂 Elisabeth sent over a series of questions to get me started (she is seriously an expert interviewer!), but I had so much to say about the first one, that I never even made it to the rest of them! Oops! Guess I’ll have to come back a 3rd time. 😉
What prompted you to start a blog and why did you call it “Grateful Kae”?
My own gratitude journey began a few years before I started my blog in 2020.
At the time, my boys were quite young- probably early elementary school aged. My husband and I both work full time; I was working long, stressful, rotating 12-hour nurse shifts, the boys were busy in sports and activities, we own a home, and it’s just REALLY HARD to juggle it all! It was a messy and beautiful time of life, right in the thick of raising our little family.
Now, I had every right to feel frazzled and a bit stressed out. There’s no question that being a working parent is not always rosy. Every day is not always awesome! But on the whole, my life was good and I was quite happy. However, I had developed the bad habit of complaining a lot, I guess as a coping mechanism for some of my overwhelm.
It usually wasn’t even about big/ important things! It was just sort of becoming my default mode. “There was traffic. The boys are loud. Ugh, I’m tired. Ew, we need to clean. Why is it so cold. These pants look terrible on me.” Etc. (Again, it’s totally okay and normal to feel overwhelmed at times or not be thrilled to have to make yet another dinner. Also, important note, if you’re persistently feeling depressed or unhappy, that’s a very different story.)
But in my particular case, it was literally just a bad habit, really. (I have sadly never been a natural Pollyanna. I tend toward being a worrier/ complainer, so this was pretty “on brand” for me, but it was getting worse.) [Picture Elisabeth wildly waving her hand screaming ‘Me too!’]
An old photo of me. 😆
On one particular winter evening, after listening to me rattle off that day’s “problems”, my husband asked me point blank, “Do you ever realize how much you complain?!” And for whatever reason, instead of slapping him (hehe!), I had one of those lightbulb moments: “He’s right! I do!!! It’s true. I constantly complain!” I hadn’t really paid attention before, but I suddenly HEARD it loud and clear.
And what was even the point? Was I accomplishing or changing anything by griping all the time? No, I wasn’t. I was just making myself (and others around me) sort of miserable.
Long story short, it was a paradigm shift moment for me. I decided then and there that I did NOT want to live the rest of my life being a chronic Eeyore. I ended up diving into the study of gratitude, to see if I could develop a more positive mindset, like a muscle.
I credit Janice Kaplan’s book The Gratitude Diaries with really kick starting this journey for me. [I really enjoyed this book, too!] Much like I did, she had realized that she was increasingly adopting a real Debbie Downer attitude in life, so she set out on a project to try to fix it. Her book outlines her year-long mission to “look on the bright side”.
I remember that the chapter on reframing really stood out to me. She shared a story of a cold, winter day where everyone around her was grumbling about the weather. But as part of her experiment, she decided to not partake in the GrumbleFest and instead said, “Thank goodness I have these warm cozy boots to keep my feet dry!” I mean, either way it was going to be cold… does saying, “Dang it’s cold; this weather is horrible” somehow make the weather not cold and horrible? Unfortunately, no. But focusing on her cozy, warm boots and how good they felt on her feet maybe did give her mood a momentary lift. [Oh dear – I mean, I did come up with Five Top things about winter in Canada, but the overwhelming tone of that post was negative; Kae, I know you can relate!]
The book really inspired me to give it a try myself and see how it felt. I started playing what I’ll call “Catch the Complaint”. For a few days, every time I opened my mouth to say something negative (i.e. to complain!), I made myself pause and see if I could at least try to spin it.
That afternoon, I walked into the gym and I remember the employee scanning my card saying, “Yuck, it’s really snowing out there.” I started to say, “Yeah, brrr! It’s so cold!” but instead decided to say, “Yeah, it sure is pretty!” Same snow, different story. That same day, I ran into an acquaintance who asked how we’d been. I felt my standard response on the tip of my tongue, “Ugh, crazy busy!”, but instead I made myself say, “Thankfully we’ve managed to stay pretty healthy this winter!” [Same snow, different story. I love that short and snappy statement about reframing! I’m stealing this, Kae!]
You get the idea. Now, I KNOW, some of you are probably rolling your eyes. Some things can’t really be reframed, and I get that it doesn’t always help. It’s not helpful to tell an exhausted mom with 1 kid in meltdown mode and 1 kid vomiting, “But honey, at least you don’t have cancer!! Look on the bright side! You’re SO blessed!” (cue Rage Against the Machine music) 🤣
But I do think that it works more often than not, especially for your run-of-the-mill day to day complaints (which was where I was struggling! Just sort of dragging a dark cloud around). As I experimented with reframing, I found….hey, this actually feels… pretty good! I started treating it almost like a little game.
Of course, reading The Gratitude Diaries wasn’t a magic fix. Old habits die hard. The mere act of naming this problem in myself did help me notice it more easily, though. Inspired to keep the momentum going, I began a formal gratitude practice. This is not very complicated: you just write down things you’re grateful for.
The cool thing about it, though, is that because you know you’re going to have to write things down, you’ll find yourself looking for things to be grateful for throughout the day. [This is exactly why I say Happy Things Friday has literally changed my life. Knowing I was on the lookout for Happy Things made me much more receptive to those special moments that before would have slipped by unappreciated…] I would find random positive thoughts popping into my head that weren’t there before. (e.g. Really noticing when someone waved me ahead at a stop sign. Paying attention to how soft my blanket was. Feeling grateful that my soup was just the right level of hot-ness. In other words, FIGS!) [Eating soup at JUST the right temperature is such a delight! I hate when I take a spoonful and burn my tongue!]
To keep myself consistent and build the new habit, I start jotting down my daily gratitude entries on the back of my Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff tear-off desk calendar page. Pairing it really helped: each morning, I’d read that day’s “positivity tip”, tear off the page, flip it over, write down whatever I was grateful for, and store it in the little box in my desk drawer. (Fun tip: at the end of the year on New Year’s Eve, I sat by the fire and read through all my entries from the whole year.) [I’m sure you’ve shared this before but I didn’t remember – what a great, positive way to end the year!]
I found that I loved this daily practice! It was for my eyes only, so I could write down the silliest or most miniscule things if I wanted. I was happy to find that usually, coming up with gratitude entries was actually not very hard…. even on rough days! This was the key, I think. Realizing that EVEN on days that were craptastic, there was still always something I could come up with, even if some days I had to get back to basics and write things like, “I am grateful that my lungs work and allow me to breathe” or “I am grateful that my roof is not leaking during this rainstorm.”
When I decided to start my blog, which curiously does not exclusively focus on the topic of gratitude!, I knew that I did want it to be an underlying theme hence the name GRATEFUL KAE. I wanted it to be a place where I could feel free to unpack some of these thoughts and challenges, and continue to explore this positivity and gratitude-seeking journey.
I also wanted to manifest, or project, who I’m trying to be. I’m not just Kae, I’m GRATEFUL Kae. 😉 Fake it til you make it, right? 😉
Daily gratitude practice continues to shape my life. I STILL struggle with complaining!!! I do!! (Literally, my husband just called me out on it the other day. 🤣) But I’m committed to sticking with it, because I feel like it’s a bit like a river carving out a canyon. I just have to keep going… and going… and going….and one day hopefully I’ll look up and be like, Whoa, this canyon is getting really wide!
I’ve now moved my personal gratitude practice over to a digital version (on a journaling spreadsheet I made- I wanted to be able to better archive and save my gratitude entries long term), and I also close every blog post with a Daily Gratitude. My goal with that is to make sure that even when I’m blogging about the most RANDOM topic (like I often do, lol!), the theme of gratitude remains present. I hope it might inspire readers to pause for a second and think of their own gratitude entry for the day. 🙂
For me, my gratitude practice has been like a living meditation. (For the record, I’m terrible at actual meditating.) You know how when inevitably your mind starts wandering, they say, “Come back to your breath”? It’s the same thing with gratitude. You won’t always feel grateful. You’ll get distracted by sucky situations and your “gratefulness” will wander off and wax and wane. But I just keep trying to come back to it over and over again, returning to my “breath”.
In closing, I’ll share two of my favorite gratitude inspirations.
- The grateful “way of life” is really what I’m chasing! Not fully there yet, but working on it… 🙂
2. The lyrics from a song I used to sing as a child in Sunday School, called Why Complain. It’s been over 30 years now since I was that little girl in Sunday School, but this song has stuck with me all these years. I think of it so often!
Why Complain – by Evie from “A Little Song of Joy for My Little Friends”
Why complain about your clothes & your shoes
Why complain about your teacher & her rules
Why complain when so many have no home
Why complain when you have one of your own
Just be thankful for the good things that you’ve got
Oh be thankful for the good things that you’ve got
The good things that you’ve got, are for many just a dream
So be thankful for the good things that you’ve got
Why complain about the way that you look
Why complain about the scolding that you took
Why complain when so many cannot run
Why complain when you’re having so much fun
Just be thankful for the good things that you’ve got
Oh be thankful for the good things that you’ve got
The good things that you’ve got, are for many just a dream
So be thankful for the good things that you’ve got
Here’s the YouTube link if you want to hear it! I guarantee it will brighten your day. 🙂 [How have I never heard this song before?!]
Thank you for having me, Elisabeth, and thank you for all the work you’re doing to spread the F.I.G. life!! At the risk of sounding VERY cheesy, I am so grateful to know you and to call you my friend! [Right back at ya’!]
Thanks again for visiting here today.
Your turn.
- Do you have any gratitude-centric questions for Kae?
- If you have a regular gratitude practice how/where do you record things you’re grateful for?
- What Winnie-the-Pooh character do you most closely resemble emotionally? I’d have to say my default is probably Eeyore. It is DEFINITELY not Tigger!
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mbmom11
I am a complainer- I think it’s how I process things out loud. ( My mom called me this a long time ago!) I probably got in the habit to get attention when I was younger. I’m trying to be grateful more often- it’s almost a physical effort. Refraining is a great idea. ( instead of ‘I’m up at 3:30 again, urg’ I can say ‘ I’m up at 3:30 – extra tkme to pet my fluffy cat.)
I am Rabbit, with a heavy shading of Eeyore lately. Actually, Eeyore complains a little and is gloomy but resigned to his fate. Is Rabbit the more active complainer?
Elisabeth
I think more than a complainer, I am a fretter. I worry about all the different ways things could go wrong.
Good point about Rabbit vs. Eeyore. I think of myself more as a plodder and Rabbit has more nervous energy, so perhaps I’d be best described as somewhere smack dab between those two!
Grateful Kae
You hit the nail on the head with your comment that “you’re processing things out loud”! I make that argument ALL the time when I start “complaining” about things and my husband will call me out on it. I do sometimes try to clarify- I’m not “complaining”, exactly, I’m just talking through these various issues! I do think that can certainly have its benefit at times and can be useful. But, I do know that I can be prone to taking it too far and sort of just fixating on the problems, so that’s mostly what I tried to nip in the bud. Also a timely example about not being able to sleep… I was up at 1 a.m.(!!!) and never managed to fall back to sleep! I actually chuckled at the thought of my post going live on Elisabeth’s blog because I was laying there tossing and turning and feeling generally very irritated. lol! I attempted to take my own advice and managed to recognize a) at least I’m laying in a nice, comfortable bed b) the ceiling fan was on and the air temperature was pleasant and c) I have a flexible job where I can probably sneak a nap in/ finish work early today if I need to (i.e. I didn’t need to go perform brain surgery or fly an airplane on 3 hours sleep, thank goodness!).
Jenny
Wow- I love this! I did not know Kae’s backstory- I thought she was just born grateful ; ). A lot of people are chronic complainers, and it is just a habit. I’ve done it myself (we all have!) I love how, when Ivan pointed it out, instead of getting defensive or feeling attacked, Kae was willing to look at herself honestly and make a change. And it’s so true- we really do have a choice in what thoughts we think, and it makes such a huge difference.
To answer your question, deep down I’m a Tigger. Sometimes I feel like a sad Tigger, whose bounce has been taken away, but there’s always a happy Tigger in me just waiting to get out.
Elisabeth
Isn’t it crazy that some people are naturally optimistic. I wonder what proportion find it a cinch and what proportion have made it a habit. Is there a difference? Is one more genuinely optimistic?
I love that you’re a Tigger and even though we’ve never met that is absolutely the Pooh character I would have associated with you 🙂
Grateful Kae
Haha Jenny, well, I actually DO think I’m a pretty happy-go-lucky person and always have been overall (so maybe the Eeyore comparison isn’t “quite” accurate), but I do have a tendency to worry a lot + complain about certain things. I don’t think I’m an all around negative person at all, though, so that’s a plus. I guess I’m maybe a weird mix. Like I am NOT one to complain about service in a restaurant, or experiences… I usually am pretty easily satisfied, I don’t get offended easily and I’m also not argumentative or anything like that. I just found myself sort of nit-picking and dialing in on smaller things in my personal life, I guess. Like the examples in my post- just grumbling about trivial day-to-day things, almost like I was looking for something to whine about! haha. That’s the sort of negativity I’m trying to avoid.. more like the internal complaints in my head (or in my very inner circle, like Ivan).
Colleen Martin
This was fun to read and a great reminder to be more grateful. I remember when I was in the trenches with little kids, someone said to change my thoughts from “I HAVE to…” to “I GET to…” and it’s such a helpful way to be grateful in the moment. I get to drive my kids to school, I get to cook dinner for those I love, I get to buy them birthday gifts, etc.
Elisabeth
I try to do that reframing trick, too. Not always successfully, but when I remember – it does help.
Another thing I’ve never forgotten is a line in a book about stopping to be grateful outside a doctor’s office. Yes my kid is sick, but we have a doctor and access to medicine, etc. I’ve never, ever forgotten that (I read that book in a season of very young kids who were frequently sick) and I still think about it every single time I have to take my kids to see a doctor. Thank God we have a doctor!
Grateful Kae
Yes, I’ve heard that one too. I think it’s a good reminder! I’ll admit that the “get to” line sometimes is one that feels like a bit of a stretch for when you’re really struggling or frustrated with something though… like it’s almost too much of a stretch to make yourself believe that one, sometimes, even though technically it is true. If you’re really exhausted, telling yourself that you “get to” get up and make dinner for your family might just be an even more annoying thought! Haha. But it is a good re-frame for certain times, for sure!
Lisa's Yarns
So my former colleague Paul and I used to joke that he was Tigger and I was Eeyore. I am trying to transition to being like Rabbit. Tigger is just a bridge too far for me. Ha. As my husband says, we like to stick to the “meaty” area of the bell curve of emotions so neither of us are Tiggers by any stretch of the imagination. It is interesting to see the personalities of our kids develop, though. Paul just might be a Tigger. He is SO positive and happy. We often get comments about him from other parents about his positive, friendly disposition. He also appears to be an outgoing extrovert and I do not know where that came from!!!
It’s funny because I’ve only “known” Kae since she launched her blog so I think of her as a happy go lucky kind of person and not a complainer. I mean she vents about things but overall I would say she has a positive outlook on life. So the river has really carved the gorge for her!
I do not have a regular gratitude practice but I’ve been participating in FIGs and wow has it been hard at times. This month has been a big challenge with too much work travel and so much illness.
Elisabeth
“Tigger is just a bridge too far for me.” – Haha!
I think I am definitely right of centre on the bell curve of emotion. Certain things bring out BIG emotions in me.
Indy is DEFINITELY a Tigger and it is a breath of fresh air since I am not. Love that you have a Tigger in your household. And you never know – Will may become a Tigger, too.
Choosing this February ended up making it really difficult for a lot of people. Maybe that’s the time we need it most, but I completely understand why you’ve found it hard to identify good things 🙁 Hoping for a much better, healthier, less chaotic March.
Grateful Kae
Okay, I don’t actually know Winnie the Pooh well enough to really fully identify with the characters. Haha. So perhaps I missed the mark a little bit and maybe I’m not actually an Eeyore. Maybe I’m Piglet? You’re right, I am a mostly happy-go-lucky person, with this little hidden/less visible inner side that worries and frets too much and has a tendency to complain when in private, with certain people. Lucky Ivan. HAHA. (And, I suppose, in fairness- I truly have been working on this for a number of years now! Even though I’m sure no one would have really described me as “outwardly” super negative before, minus my bad complain-y habit, lol!)
Ally Bean
I’m by nature a grateful person. I don’t know why, just am, so I’m pretty much continually saying “thank you” each day. My one formal gratitude practice involves writing my one bestest Good Thing of the week on a piece of paper, folding it into a square, then keeping all the little pieces of paper in a mason jar on my desk. At the end of the year I’ll dump them out and make an afternoon of it reading what gave me joy throughout the year.
Elisabeth
I love this idea! It’s like a highlight reel of positivity from the year gone by.
Grateful Kae
I think I also have always been a “grateful” person, which maybe sounds like an oxymoron since I also just said I complain a lot? But I truly appreciate people and always have and have always been quick to express thanks or go out of my way to tell someone I liked something they said or did, etc. I also have always been one to notice little joyful moments, like a beautiful sky or sunset, etc. I do love the mason jar idea! I did something similar putting my entries in a box and reading them on NYE. I now record on a spreadsheet but I’ll admit I like the idea of pulling little papers out of a jar better. More whimsical maybe?
Elisabeth
I really have found it fascinating to tease apart the difference between being appreciative (which I 100% have always been) and being a complainer (which I have always been). This is so helpful to consider both sides of this equation and it’s helping me see that deep down I HAVE always been a grateful person…just one who also tends to complain a lot. Though, I also think my bigger issue has been worry and fretting. That’s my go-to attitude and I blame my father in large part for that!
Ernie
Hi Kae. I’ve read your blog, and I didn’t know the backstory to why being grateful is your underlying theme. Like Jenny, I say hats off to you for not getting defensive when Ivan pointed out that you were being negative. I think I would’ve gone into defensive mode. I am a pretty positive person, but I’ve found that focusing on what I’m grateful for each day is a great way to lean towards being grateful. It’s a good habit to get into. I love Winnie the Pooh. I can sing most of his theme song . . . but I am not sure I know which character I identify with. Definitely not Tigger, but not Eyeore either. I’m not sure which one is an in betweener – maybe Kanga, little Roo’s mom?
Elisabeth
I think I need a refresher on all the Winnie-the-Pooh characters! My kids were never, ever “into” Winnie-the-Pooh and I always thought of myself as Eeyore, but maybe I’m not…??
Grateful Kae
I posted way back in the beginning about my ‘gratitude journey’ but my blog was so new, I doubt many people ever saw it! Haha. I think in this case I subconsciously realized I was complaining a lot but just didn’t really stop to name it until he started calling me out on it.
Melissa
Well done for taking on Ivan’s constructive criticism in an open, non-defensive way, and how wonderful he prompted you to make a change that is obviously improving your life. I would say I am naturally a glass-half-full type of person. I do love having a bit of whinge, but that is almost immediately followed by a positive spin, which is generally how I’ve rolled naturally. My friend from church said to me “trust you to make lemonade out of lemons” and I guess that is what I do. I do have my Good Things Friday posts on my blog (which I’ve now moved to monthly), which is a gratitude practice. I also write down good things in my journal each day.
Elisabeth
I feel like I should have made my One Line A Day Journal full of positive things, but it’s is my tell it like it is journal! If I’ve had a great day, I write about that. If I’ve had a hard day, I write about that. I tend to mostly list “facts” not feelings. So aside from my Happy Things Friday, I don’t have a way of recording my points of gratitude. I suppose that’s one of the reasons it has felt so impactful in my life. Having good things written down really does help me remember/reflect and focus on the good.
Grateful Kae
I LOVE naturally super positive people! It’s so inspiring!!! I love the practice of writing down happy things or gratitude because when you go back and look at them, they really add up. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it but looking at them all together is pretty cool.
Michelle G.
It’s very nice to meet you, Grateful Kae! Thank you for this lovely interview, Elisabeth!
I kept a gratitude journal for a year and it changed my way of thinking so much. When the year was over, the mindset stuck and I didn’t feel the need to keep a journal. But this month of FIGS has really helped my mood, so I’m thinking of keeping a gratitude journal again.
Disney has a quiz about which Winnie the Pooh character are you! I turned out to be Christopher Robin!
https://news.disney.com/which-winnie-the-pooh-character-are-you
Elisabeth
I love hearing about your gratitude trajectory. It does feel like something that can ebb and flow in terms of intentionality depending on the season of life!
Thanks for sharing that quiz; I am a Rabbit…
“You have a Type A personality. Making to-do lists is your favorite activity, and you are known for turning everything into a competition.”
Um – THIS IS ME!!!!
Kyria @ Travel Spot
For some reason I have the song Always Look on the Bright Side of Life in my head now. This is a wonderful post and I loved hearing Kae’s story! Kae, I am so glad that you did not slap Ivan and that you actually listened to him and made a change. I think that in itself is so admirable. I think it is easy to get into a funk and to be a negative person and then that just sends us into a downward spiral as nobody wants to be around us and then we get more negative etc. This way you can remain surrounded by people who genuinely enjoy being around you! Also with the news and everything out there, it is easy to lean toward the downside, but why should we let those outlets tint our day!? I think looking for something positive, or looking at things with a different spin, is great for our own and other’s psyches! Okay, now I am going to update my FIG list now!
Elisabeth
I really appreciate how you highlighted the ripple impact, too – when we look for positive things, that generally radiates out and positively impacts other people/our relationships!
I am a master of “funk” and “spiral” and gratitude really, really helps me with this.
coco
I love reading about the origin of Kae’s blog. I really liked the gratitude diary book too. I used to write down in my journal too then stopped, not sure why. I do find if I write them down regularly, I am more mindful of small things.
Overall, I became more grateful no matter what happens in recent years, “thanks” to covid and all the ups and downs of life.
Elisabeth
I think a global pandemic really shook a lot of lives up! I also wonder if I (and maybe you?) are finding gratitude a bit easier as kids get older? I think I have more bandwidth to look on the bright side of life when my kids don’t need a long bedtime routine and can bathe themselves!
Joy
How fun to hear Kae’s backstory. Reframing is so helpful. I love that quote by Elisabeth Elliot and have a copy of it to remind me to collect gratitude. My favorite go-to is also a Sunday School song (I had completely forgotten about that Evie one!):
Count your blessings,
Name them one by one.
Count your many blessings.
See what God has done.
I usually record my FIGs (such a great name that I’m using it from now on!) in my daily planner or my journal.
My boys have always said that I am Rabbit although that quiz said I’m Christopher Robin. My three boys and I read Winnie the Pooh so many times that we can quote whole sections. I have an Eeyore, a Rabbit, and a Tigger—even though they’re grown men, they’re still like that. Lol. Milne was a genius.
I’ve had a head cold all week and have been thankful for things like my electric kettle, tea, cold medicine (I gladly sign for Advil Cold and Sinus), internet so I can work from home and not share my germs, jumbo boxes of Kleenex, the Bible on audio so I don’t have to read when my head is aching, etc.
Elisabeth
I know that chorus! Wow – haven’t heard it in YEARS.
I’m trying to see what else I can remember from the song without looking it up.
Are you ever burdened with a load of care? Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear? Count your many blessings and your doubts will fly, something, something, something as the days go by. Or is it something about your home on high?
When upon life’s billows you are tempest, tossed. Do no be discouraged thinking all is lost, count your many blessings, angels will attend, help and comfort give you to your journey’s end??
I know I’ve got at least a few phrases right 😉
I took the quiz and it tells me I’m a Rabbit and I think that is pretty accurate, at least given the description: “You have a Type A personality. Making to-do lists is your favorite activity, and you are known for turning everything into a competition.” Yes to all of the above 😉
Allison
I think I am both a bit of a complainer/worrier and a naturally grateful person. I am always aware of how, given my depressive tendencies, if I didn’t have the family I did and the husband I ended up with I would probably not be here. I feel like I got the exact right kids for me, and even though it was hard when they were little (husband traveled a lot, I had severe undiagnosed sleep apnea so was never getting restorative sleep), I always felt lucky beyond measure to have them. I sort of naturally expect sales people to be grumpy, and if they are not I am so happy and grateful. My kids will come and make food themselves and if I’m sitting at the table at my computer they will still say thank-you to me (for… buying groceries, I guess?). I am also naturally pessimistic, though, and I’m working on that – sometimes I just stop and think “wait, why not think that maybe things will work out?” I do still unload occasionally though, it’s why I created the Surly Thursday thing on my blog, as a sort of catharsis for the week.
I love the reminder about jotting down the day’s good things – I have a friend that does that daily on Facebook and it is always so lovely to read.
Elisabeth
I think being a sales person must be one of the absolute hardest things to do and, like you, I am always so appreciative when the person I engage with is pleasant and seems to genuinely enjoy helping.
And as I’m reading all the comments on this post and reflecting on what Kae said, I think I am both a natural worrier AND a naturally grateful person.
I really struggled to find anything bright in life when the kids were little and I was home alone with them (because, wait for it, my husband traveled/travels a lot). Their growing independence has REALLY helped me find some extra wiggle room in my life. I felt like I was constantly needed and overstimulated and now I am able to prioritize my own needs a lot better!
Sophie
I love this story of how you came to start a gratitude practice, Kae, and the reframing is so great. I don’t have a specific gratitude practice, though I would say I’m naturally a “glass half full” person so I’m fairly grateful for things quite often. Although I’m sure there are areas of my life where a bit of concious, extra gratitude wouldn’t go astray. I always remember that I may feel like we never have “enough” money, but we are likely in the richest 2% of the world or something! Just by being born in middle class in a certain country of the world. That instantly makes me feel more grateful.
Elisabeth
I think about this too – out of all the places in the world and out of all the families to be born into, I was born into a democracy with loving parents who, while they didn’t have much money, instilled a great work ethic in their kids and exposed us to so many adventures and experiences as kids. It makes me so sad when I see the trajectory some kids are already on at a young age and it is simply because of where they’ve been born/the family they’ve been born into. It’s heartbreaking. What a tremendous blessing to have loving, supportive parents and to live in a free country.