Flies in the FIG Jam: When Gratitude Meets Reality

Inevitably, unwanted guests show up at every picnic. They buzz annoyingly in our ears. They land on our delicious food. Sometimes they even brazenly attack us.

We could barricade ourselves inside to avoid the nuisance altogether, but life isn’t meant to be lived in isolation. And let’s be honest, flies always find a way inside anyway.

So, we step outside, picnic basket in hand. We spread a checkered tablecloth, ready to enjoy our deliciously sweet fig jam…and then the buzzing starts.

This is all to say, regardless of how many FIGs we’re finding in February, there are always flies. And if we’re practicing gratitude together this month, it’s only fair to acknowledge both sides of the experience.

Let’s talk about it. Here are some flies in my FIG jam:

1. The geopolitical and environmental crises plaguing the world. While a certain administration – and it’s shocking fallout – is getting the majority of the world’s attention, upheaval is circling the globe. Sudan, Gaza/Israel, DRC/Rwanda, Afghanistan, Ukraine, Yemen. There are famines and earthquakes and hurricanes and fires and floods. It’s impossible to not feel a tangible weight from living in a world that is buckling under the stress of human greed, desire for power and control, and the very real and catastrophic results of not caring for our environment. While these global issues weigh heavily, personal challenges – big and small – still find their way into everyday life.
2. Dormant challenges. The last few years have brought two fairly significant situations into my life. I was speaking with a friend yesterday and described both as being in “dormancy”. They’re not resolved; in fact, next steps are ambiguous and wholly uncertain at this point. I remain on alert knowing that one or both of these situations could escalate again. At the same time, these issues are no longer front-of-mind.
3. The suffering of people I care about. It feels like an increasing number of people I care about are either directly or tangentially being impacted by health challenges, the majority related to cancer. I feel both sad and helpless.
4. My left elbow. If the first few were wasps, this one is more of a housefly – pesky but not a crisis. In the course of my strength training, I have managed to tweak something in my left elbow. Certain exercises are now extremely uncomfortable and that is frustrating.
5. The weather. It feels like it has been cold forever. I am tired of trying to cajole kids into dressing appropriately for the weather, getting into a cold vehicle, and all the other things that are loathsome about winter.
6. Allergies. My allergies have been dreadful lately – as usual, this predominantly manifests as itchy eyes and throat. Is it dust/dust mites (I don’t dust very often)? Is it mold I don’t know about? Is it the tremendously dry air? (When I take half of a non-drowsy antihistamine, it solves the issue, but I don’t want to have to take one every day!)
7. Dry air. I swear everyone in our family can get an electric shock just by looking at a light switch. The air is so dry – inside and out – even with action taken to increase humidity.
8. Sick kids. It has been over a solid week of sickness (thankfully they are on the mend). I am ready to no longer have giant piles of dirty tissues and cough drop wrappers festively adorning every surface of our house.
9. Sleep. Between the sicknesses (which included two nights of extremely disturbed sleep) and then another night when some consistent, light tapping woke me up (best I can figure it was something hitting the side of the house in the wind, but I was CONVINCED it was a child knocking at our bedroom door and then of course couldn’t get back to sleep). All told, my total sleep hours seem to level out across the weeks for a consistent average, but daily consistency isn’t great.
10. Kid emotions. Their sibling squabbles and emotions have been next-level this week – more with regard to intensity, not frequency. I know they’re tired and cranky from being sick for a week, but they seem to be taking it out on each other. Sigh.

Yes, we’re practicing gratitude this month. No, that doesn’t mean life is easy. Yes, we’re identifying FIGs each day – but we’re also fighting flies. Even when we find joy, there are coexisting stings.

I know many of you reading today are facing difficult circumstances and I’m so sorry. Sometimes gratitude and grief/sadness/anger/fear have to coexist. Sending hugs <3

Now, let‘s commiserate – what’s been pestering you lately?