If today’s post title is an equation, I guess it equals an anniversary to remember.
Today marks fifteen years of marriage. I can’t believe my good fortune in finding such a selfless, hilarious and wonderful man with whom to share my life. A man who is always trying to make me laugh, but offers the very best shoulder on which to cry. A man with whom I share two wonderful, spunky children. A man who has literally shown me the world.
The last fifteen years have been intense and I feel like we have lived every line of our wedding vows. In sickness and in health (see below). For richer, for poorer. In good times, in bad. And John has been there every step of the way as my best friend and fiercest supporter.
While on the topic of sickness and health, what better way to commemorate an anniversary than by going to the hospital. Nothing says love like starting the day in urgent care; him getting X-rays and a diagnosis of double pneumonia, me getting a prescription for prednisone and an audiology consult for sudden onset hearing loss (this happened to me in 2022 after I had COVID, so I knew the steps to take).
We went on to spend a significant part of the day in doctor’s offices (1), hearing clinics (1), hospitals (2), and pharmacies (1 pharmacy, 3 visits).
You know you’re a blogger when your husband – seriously ill with pneumonia – grants permission to blog about the ordeal and then laments we didn’t think to take an anniversary picture of the two of us wearing matching hospital bracelets.
We seem to have a penchant for this sort of thing. John has had surgery on Valentine’s Day and my birthday, and I’ve lost count of how many Christmas Eves we’ve spent in the emergency room (it included three years in a row – WHAT ARE THE ODDS?!).
Beyond health woes there are some emotionally charged events happening around me and it’s hard to stay grounded and present, but I keep getting pulled back to gratitude. All the joyful things I listed yesterday and then some:
- The symptoms hit John after he got back to Canada.
- A is away at camp; only having one kid to care for this week made life so much easier.
- Before the medical chaos, I had coffee with a friend I rarely get to spend time with; it was balm for both our souls.
- Easy access to a hospital, our family doctor (in Canada, many people don’t even have a family doctor and ours is phenomenal), and pharmacies.
- Access to life-saving drugs; how quickly I can take things like antibiotics and fever-reducers for granted!
- Having the money to buy medication.
- Being able to drive. I know a few women my age who do not have a license and I cannot imagine life without the flexibility of being able to transport myself from place to place.
- Owning a vehicle. It makes getting to appointments and hospitals so much faster and more efficient.
- Food in the fridge.
- Takeout sushi for supper. Enjoyed by all and delicious.
- For a son who is laid back and helpful and has such a keen sense of empathy at just the right moments.
- Having a washing machine and dryer in our house (after years of living in apartments and having to go to centrally located coin-operated machines, I do not take this for granted).
- Clean laundry.
- It’s garbage day tomorrow. I always get a little boost of joy when we get to take out the bags of trash, recycling and compost. It feels like a mini spring cleanup of the house. With your encouragement, I have now composted the remaining pickled eggs. Lesson learned.
Now onward and upward. We’ve crossed off the sickness bit, so that should mean health comes next…
Have you ever had a medical procedure on a birthday, special holiday, or anniversary? What’s something you’re thankful for this very minute? Garbage day – do you find it a nuisance or do you feel like it provides a bit of a fresh slate?
Jan Coates
Well, I suppose better now than when you’re in Portugal… And happy anniversary! As we both know, finding/choosing the right lifelong partner is life’s most important decision. Happy he makes you laugh, especially! Hope y’all feel better soon.
Elisabeth
Two down in the family, two to go? Though I think I *might* have had walking pneumonia about two weeks ago. I was able to function but had a bad cough and a lot of body aches and basically lost my appetite for over a week. Since I was flying solo at home I never made it to see a doctor and eventually the symptoms cleared up. And in early June, L had a bad cough (no other real symptoms)…so maybe he’s had it too? I’m hoping.
All the doctors and pharmacists are saying they’ve never seen anything like it. So much pneumonia going around locally, so great timing for you to be in Ontario 🙂
mbmom11
Happy anniversary! At least you spent it together!?!
To many happy and hopefully healthy more years!
PS – Your wedding picture is beautiful. You look like movie stars!
Elisabeth
Movie stars! Maybe John, definitely not me. I can’t act to save my life 🙂
And yes, we spent it together. A great way to reframe the day. Maybe being sick on your anniversary is a good omen? Like rain on your wedding day (we had that, too)!
Melissa
Congratulations to both of you, and what a beautiful photo. But Oh dear, what unfortunate timing. You do have a lot of bad luck around sickness on special days. I can’t remember ever having a serious illness on top of a special day or holiday. I don’t love driving, but it is so convenient to be able to drive and get myself around places. You’ve reminded me to be thankful for that because most of the time when I think about driving it’s to grumble.
Elisabeth
I loathe city driving, but thankfully most of what I have to do is local and relatively “easy.” I really enjoy the chance to listen to music and I find it’s a really good time for me to think/reflect. Especially now that the kids are older. Having a toddler crying or throwing food in the backseat is NO FUN, but we’re beyond that stage now.
Suzanne
ELISABETH. Goodness. I do love how sweet it is that J wanted to take photos of your matching bracelets; that is adorable. And what is a partner if not someone who can help you find the sweet and funny moments in the midst of awfulness?!
Happy anniversary. Wishing you both good health and much happiness for your sixteenth year together!
Elisabeth
It is sweet, right? And what a great reflection that being able to find humour or light in the middle of less-than-ideal circumstances is part of what makes a marriage relationship flourish.
Colleen Martin
Happy happy Anniversary! Wow, what a shame to both be sick but maybe the downtime is just what you both needed. I hope you can go out and celebrate soon!
Elisabeth
Forced downtime is one of the silver linings of being sick!
The kids are both set to be away at overnight camp next week; for the first time since becoming parents we’re going to be HOME ALONE! Very exciting 🙂
Jenny
Well, Happy Anniversary! Yes, you’ll remember this one. It seems like so many people are getting pneumonia now- what is going on? Someone just told me that, yes, usually you can just recover on your own from walking pneumonia (I didn’t know that) so you very well may have had it. I hope you’re both feeling better SOON. Better to get all the sicknesses over with before your trip.
Elisabeth
I don’t know. I have never heard of pneumonia spreading like this and I know there was an outbreak in Europe in the spring, and now North America seems to be getting hit very hard. A friend of ours had a son who was hospitalized from it locally and was tremendously ill. It’s scary! Thankfully, our family seems to be responding to antibiotics.
I’m 75% certain I had it based on symptoms, but I really wish I had been able to squeeze in a visit to the doctor to confirm so then I would be looking over my shoulder less about getting it. Gah. Nothing I can do but wait, but I also feel like with two people conclusively having pneumonia we know the routine (and also the exact antibiotic that seems to be working well; when A got sick they were still sorting that out, but the hospital system seems to have a more specific treatment approach now).
ccr in MA
Happy anniversary! Not the way you would have chosen to celebrate, but that’s life.
I was on a road trip with my parents, when I was in college, and we got rear-ended. We were lucky enough to be uninjured, but I was so indignant: it was my birthday, and things like that shouldn’t happen on your BIRTHDAY! To this day, I prefer not to travel on my birthday if I don’t have to.
Elisabeth
You are right! Being rear-ended on your birthday should be outlawed. I’m so thankful you weren’t hurt, but what an unsettling incident and definitely throws off “party” vibes.
And yes indeed…that is life!
Ally Bean
Congrats to you both. What a joyful day to remember in a unique way. Hoping good health finds you soon.
Elisabeth
Very memorable. Sometimes the things that go wrong make the best memories, right?!
Karen A.
Happy Anniversary! And yes, we seem to have medical stuff happen around holidays, starting with me as a teenager. I went to the ER on Christmas Eve the year I was sixteen, and was in the hospital for a week until they finally operated and found my appendix was about to burst (actually it did burst as soon as they got it out, apparently). My parents, with good intentions, brought my stocking to the hospital, but I couldn’t eat anything so all the candy made me sad. Ha. We ended up opening presents on New Year’s Day. My brother liked to call it “The Year Karen Ruined Christmas.”
My youngest was almost born on the Fourth of July; luckily he had the good sense to be 11 days late after all and was born four days after that.
My hysterectomy was scheduled on my birthday the year I turned 43. Not my choice, that was the day the doctor had free. Happy Birthday!
Recently our oldest was in the hospital on our 25th anniversary for what turned out to be only the first of many procedures and hospitalizations. Because his birthday is a week later, he was STILL in the hospital, I believe, on his 24th birthday.
Elisabeth
The Year Karen Ruined Christmas. Hilarious, but also infuriating. It’s not like you planned it! Thank goodness your appendix was taken out in time.
I have a friend who was in the hospital on Halloween DETERMINED for her son to not come October 31st.
I know you’ve had a long road with your son’s health; I’m glad he seems to be beyond the hospitalizations and procedures, but it does seem extra heartbreaking such a special anniversary and birthday involved the stress of health complications.
Lisa's Yarns
Happy Anniversary! I wish you had spent it healthy but such is life, right? I’m glad you are both on the path to health.
I am thankful that I am done with work travel until mid-Sept! So I have 1.5 weeks off which I so need right now! It’s going to be a bit weird to be home so much but it’s best for everyone that I take a break from travel. And the 2nd half of August will be especially wonderful since we’ll be at my parents for a week and then the boys will spend a week there! So I am also very thankful that my parents are willing to watch the boys for an extra week so Phil and I can have some time to just be and reconnect as a couple. We are definitely in the “ships passing in the night” stage of parenting lately.
I am sort of indifferent about trash day. Phil pretty much handles it and it doesn’t feel like it makes much of a difference to our week!
Elisabeth
Yup. Such is life. Thankfully, we’re VERY low key about almost all celebrations so I’m not particularly fussed about when it happened (I just wish we could have skipped pneumonia entirely!!)
I am SO glad you’re done with work travel for a while. Hopefully by the time you resume travel your flare will be completely under control, too. That has just added so much extra stress and pain to your life lately.
sarah
MY GOODNESS. Matching bracelet pic would have been pretty perfect, tho. LOVE that wedding picture– you two were babies! Happy Anniversary– I hope you can do something more fun to celebrate when you both feel bettter.
Elisabeth
I really do feel like a baby! I was LESS THAN A DECADE OLDER THAN A WHEN I GOT MARRIED!!!! That is…mind blowing.
Lindsay
Oh, Elisabeth! Sending you and John and the whole family all the healthy thoughts. What an anniversary for the memory book! Please take care of yourselves. At this very moment, I am grateful for my eyeglasses and comfy cardigans and workday hugs from my daughter and randomly texted jokes from my guy….
Elisabeth
Sign me up for ANYTHING comfy! And love hugs and texts (especially memes that make me laugh).
San
Happy anniversary, friend, although I wish you wouldn’t have to commemorate the occasion by BOTH being sick. I love your John’s humor though that he lamented that you didn’t think to take an anniversary picture of the two of you wearing matching hospital bracelets. That would have been the icing on the cake of this post 😉
I am sorry you have to go through this on your special day and hope you’re both on the mend soon, but I appreciate that you can still find some good things to be thankful for amidst the chaos.
Elisabeth
It was a memorable anniversary, that’s for sure!
NGS
Oh, man. Cross that date off and pretend your anniversary is sometime in August and celebrate then! I hope everyone is happy and healthy ASAP!!
I don’t complain about laundry anymore since we got our new machines. They work so much more efficiently and quietly and they make my life better. That’s my mundane gratitude.
Elisabeth
Ha! Yes, we’ll do just that. Neither of us is huge on celebrations and the “actual day” isn’t particularly huge to either of us (thankfully). It’s more the irony of how we always seem to manage to have medical procedures or illness in and around major events.
I loathe laundry, but having a washing machine and dryer in my basement is a true blessing. Laundry must get done and it is a million times nicer to not have to walk outside to another building to do it!
Tobia | craftaliciousme
Happy anniversary. Well this one is for the memory books. what an ordeal. But it looks like you kept your humor.
We often end up in hospitals or eye doctors. At times its a bit annoying but who can say to have visited an eye doctor in Vancouver… or whatever other cities.. I had my hysterectomy on Tuesday after Easter. But I guess that doesn’t really count as I had Easter to celebrate.
I don’t take for granted that I am able to vote. Or that I am able to travel. That I can read.
Elisabeth
Voting! Yes, such an important piece of democracy. And reading. Wow. I almost never reflect on what a gift literacy is but it’s one of the most valuable skills we can ever learn in our lifetime and yet I 100% take it for granted (which is even more wonderful since I’m a woman and so many women don’t get the chance to access education and literacy training. Thanks for mentioning such important gratitude points.
And travel. HUGE. Such a blessing and privilege.
J
Happy Anniversary! I’m sorry that you spent it the way you did, but glad you’re both OK and that you were able to be there for each other.
We had to take our daughter to the emergency room one Thanksgiving when she was a toddler and spiked a high fever. I won’t give you all of the miserable details, but I wrote a letter to the hospital complaining about the treatment she received (not rude, medically bad). My worst Thanksgiving. We all got pretty sick one Christmas (we call it Sickmas) but we were with my family so that was nice.
I also never take the washing machine for granted. I lived in San Francisco for 7 years…3 years with no washer/dryer, we had to go to the laundromat (thankfully just a few doors down our street) and 4 years with facilities in our buildings. The first time we had an in unit washer and dryer, I WAS SO HAPPY! Especially since that’s where we lived when our daughter was an infant. I hate the idea of people dealing with the shared machines when they are also trying to work around a sleeping/eating/crying baby.
Elisabeth
That Thanksgiving with Maya sounds HORRIBLE and so much worse because of incompetence at the hospital. I can imagine why it was your worst Thanksgiving.
Sickmas…ha. Well, at least you got a good name out of it!
We had to use coin operated machines in another building when both kids were infants. It was fine and all I knew, but I can’t imagine the luxury of dealing with baby clothes and messes without having to put on shoes and brave – at times – snowstorms to do laundry. Having a machine in-house is just so, so lovely.
Birchie
Yay for 15 years, boo to double pneumonia…hopefully you will never have the opportunity to take a picture with matching hospital bracelets again.
Elisabeth
Love the sentiment. Hopefully, indeed, this is the one and only anniversary we spend together at the hospital!
coco
Happy anniversary to you and John! that’s a big milestone. Do you find the longer you are married, the more you love and care for each other? That’s how I feel about being married with Tony. My mentor told me that the longer you are married, the more you are alike, that’s after 43 years of marriage and they are each others best company!
Fortunately we haven’t had many serious sickness yet. He will have his first colonoscopy when we go back after the trip, that may be his first real procedure (preventive though).
Things to be grateful
– nice villa we got in
– quiet morning alone for me downstairs by the pool to write this
– friendly staff
– enjoying our trip while knowing we are just halfway
– nature centered days we had in Sumba
– having fruits delivered last night when we got in at 9pm
Elisabeth
Yes! I really do think that love deepens (and grows; you love in more diverse ways with time). Marriage is hard work and an investment, but we are such a good team.
I LOVE the mid-way part of a trip (when I’m having a good time) and I realize I still have just as long to enjoy things.
Gigi
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! 15 years is a milestone, that’s for sure.
Hope you are all the picture of health soon enough.
Elisabeth
I always like milestone numbers. 15 seems extra memorable because it means we’re exactly a decade from 25 which seems like SUCH A BIG ONE. And if the last decade has been any indication of how things play out, I suspect ten years will FLY by!
Anne
Oh, no, Elisabeth. I’m so sorry that J is sick AND that (judging from one of your comments) someone else is sick? Or was? I’m glad you were together and that the system actually worked for you but ooof. Not what you were planning, I am sure. I hope that he has a fast response to the antibiotics and that your hearing issues clear up. Wonder if you got another virus, since the last time this happened it was post-viral?
I won’t get into the details, but my family members have a habit of dying on or very near important holidays. Oh, and my dad had emergency gall bladder surgery on, I think, 12/23? I am pretty sure he was home for Christmas eve. Fun times. 😉
Elisabeth
I think I might have had walking pneumonia (some symptoms started two weeks ago, but never got bad enough/I was home solo with L that I went to the hospital. In hind sight, I wish I had gone so I could know for sure if I had it). So, I suspect that the after effects of that caused the same hearing issue. Ironically, it’s in the opposite ear from the last time.
No it was NOT what we were planning. The week felt like a time warp – which it always does when someone gets really sick – but thankfully it was a quiet week at work for John so he didn’t have to cancel many meetings and he has all sorts of accumulated sick days. Silver linings!
Oh, I’m so sorry that people you love had passed away so close/on important dates. That makes it extra sad and difficult to celebrate those times in the future. I’m glad your Dad made it home for Christmas Eve. That’s my favourite day of the year!
Joy
Happy belated anniversary, you two! May your lungs and ears cooperate fully with your treatments and the rest of your 16th year include many, many days of health!!
Elisabeth
Amen!
Daria
Happy 15 years to you both! That wedding picture is so wonderful. I hope you both feel better soon, and you are so right about how having access to the car, drivers license, pharmacies, hospitals is not something that should be taken for granted! Hugs from New Jersey.
Elisabeth
It’s easy to take things for granted that we have easy access too; and it’s hard to imagine that so many people can’t just…walk into a hospital or be at a pharmacy in a few minutes. So much to be thankful for…
Diane
Happy Anniversary! I guess nothing says married like, “Why don’t I take you to to the hospital?”
I guess we were in the emergency room on Easter this year when the 4 year old gashed her head. But it was later in the day, and my brother’s family doesn’t celebrate Easter, so it just felt like any other Sunday. Though the lady at reception was salty about having to work on Easter.
Elisabeth
Indeed! That definitely is the epitome of romance <3
I always feel bad for staff working on holidays; I assume they get bonus pay, so that might offset the pain of it all a bit?
Stephany
Well, that’s surely not a fun way to celebrate a wedding anniversary! But at least you guys can see the humor in all of it. <3 Is it weird that I think the matching hospital bracelets is romantic?! HA. It would be a great picture to look back on in a few years and think, "Remember when?!" I hope you guys are able to celebrate some other time!
Elisabeth
It’s not weird at all. I think it was super romantic and so fitting because that really is what most of marriage is. Supporting each other in the trenches of life. There are lots of mountaintop experiences, but even more valleys and getting through them together is what makes a relationship work.
That said, I’m very much hoping that next year’s anniversary is less medically dramatic!
Michelle G.
I’m behind on my blog reading – so I’m wishing you a late Happy Anniversary! I hope you’re both feeling better now. Best wishes!