Demerits and Gold Stars: December – January

They’re baaaacccckkk. Time for the first Demerits and Gold Stars post of 2025.

First up, demerits. And this time I’m trying something different. After I list a demerit, I’m going to think through how I might solve said issue.

DEMERITS

SLEEP

• Staying up too late – either to unwind by scrolling, watching entertaining but unnecessary (obviously) TV, or getting too engrossed in a book to put it down. I know better. I. KNOW. BETTER.
• Some of my sleep issues started when we had a house full of company. I need time for my brain to chill out after being socially engaged. Even if I’m bone-tired it’s like my mind refuses to give into sleep signals without at least an hour of quiet time.
• Some of my sleep issues are because I’m stubborn and don’t want to go to bed.
• Some of my sleep issues are because my kids are now older and have activities that run much later in the evening.

Overall my sleep isn’t that bad, but I know it could be better. My bedtime has a 1-2 hour range, my sleep duration can vary quite significantly, and I often end up in bed reading for at least an hour which isn’t great. Bed should be for sleep and a few other recreational activities.

SOLUTIONS | Set a bedtime and stick to it? How? Not sure. Maybe don’t stress about it and just let the chips fall where they may, knowing I have some really good rest habits under my belt? I think one simple solution is to only allow myself to read non-fiction before bed. It’s much easier to put down.

SKIING

I have been too cold and too lazy to go skiing. It’s okay. I think we’ll go enough to break even on our season’s passes, but maybe I shouldn’t get season’s passes next year? Though then I think I’d never go because I would feel like every time I stayed home I was saving money.

One of the big demerits in here is not getting a second set of used skis for Belle. The kids fit into the same size of boots and skis and while I waited to find a second set, they’ve been sharing. Which means I can’t take both kids to the hill simultaneously. Which…makes me less likely to go to the hill since I need to sort out what the other kiddo will be doing.

It’s good exercise, we’ve already invested the money in the passes and used equipment; I need to go more.

SOLUTIONS | I could buy Belle a pair of skis (I already have the boots/poles/helmet we just need one more pair of skis). But, the more I think about it, I could go back to using my old skis for now (they’re fine, just a bit longer than I’d like), give her my new-to-me skis (easy to adjust and she already has boots that fit), and then we’d all have skis. Why didn’t I think of this before?

I also need to think through what days work best to take the kids to the hill and schedule it in. It is always going to require effort to go – I need to just accept that and plan it/do it. It’s hard, though, with kids having various extracurriculars at different times and in different directions.

Finally, I need to involve other people. A friend asked me on Sunday if I’d go skiing with her at some point this week. Once someone else is involved, I’m far more likely to follow through.

NOT SEEING MY PARENTS MORE

I saw my parents a lot in December, but in January – at least after my sister went home – those visits got more sparse. Admittedly, we went to a volleyball game, my dad went with John and Indy to a basketball game, and they came to watch Indy play basketball three times. Belle has gone down for a sleepover and a few afternoons to bake or watch a movie with them. So I’m still seeing them plenty. But I almost never stop in for a coffee.

Part of this is my dad’s outrageously full school schedule. He’s overloading! Since he’s auditing he doesn’t actually write tests or assignments, but he has multiple days where he packs a lunch and stays on campus for the day. Like a nineteen year old…except he’s well into his seventies!

SOLUTION | I’ve started having a standing invite for Monday night supper at our place. Belle has drama and they can leave after supper and drop her off. I’m also making an effort to do other things more spontaneously; last weekend I took Dad with me while I was grocery shopping, and invited them in for supper on Saturday evening.

GOLD STARS

CHRISTMAS

This was a really special, family-filled Christmas. Probably my favourite Christmas as an adult. It took a lot of planning (gold stars!), but also took me sitting down and letting myself relax (also gold stars!) to create a cheerful atmosphere. It took hosting six family members. It took logistics and making food and lots of wrapping. But it also took being willing to sit around the table by candle and talk after supper every night.

THE GYM

John and I have been going to the gym for a little over a month and it has been great. Turns out I really enjoy strength training, it’s a great point of connection in our day (we go over lunch time), and I can feel myself growing in strength and energy. It’s a 10ish minute commute which could feel like a barrier but we’ve just decided to not let it be a barrier. On days we can’t/don’t want to go, I tend to embrace rest but I’ve also done some workout videos at home in the basement which is much more open because…

TREADMILL

Getting rid of the treadmill has been such a great decision. We rarely used it and it took up so much space. Having a wide open area to lay down my yoga mat, set out some hand weights, and exercise in peace has been incredible!

SKIING

I know I listed this as a demerit, but I’m also going to give myself a gold star for making it to the hill once with Indy and Belle (on different days; so I’ve been twice). It takes work and effort and it’s cold. But both times I had a lot of fun.

BELLE COOKING

I’m trying to have her prepare at least one meal each week. So far it has exclusively been pizza (but with her making from-scratch yeasted dough!) and boxed Mac n’ Cheese (she makes incredible boxed KD). It is so, so, so, so nice to have her cooking.

VACUUMING

Our new vacuum has made keeping the floors clean easier than ever. I run Eufy a few times a week in various rooms, but mostly do daily touchups with the upright vacuum. It’s fun, I get credit for housework on my Oura ring, and the floors aren’t quite so atrocious.

Your turn.

• What gold stars or demerits top your list from the last few months?
• How do you stick to a consistent bedtime and prioritize sleep?