First, a huge thank you for the solidarity and incredible treasure trove of advice on my recent brain dump post. I felt seen, supported, and energized to tackle some of the things on my to-do list.
Here are a few updates/thoughts ā in no particular order!
SLEEP
- It seems Iām in good company because the collective reaction to my idea of not reading in bed was pure horror. Letās just say I didnāt make it a single evening without cracking a book before I turned out the light. Iām such a Questioner (a la Gretchen Rubin) ā surely reading canāt be the problem, right? For now I’ll work on other aspects of my nighttime hygiene before I dispense of books in bed.
- Several readers reached out privately to mention HRT and tell me about the ways perimenopause has impacted their sleep cycles. Thank you! I plan to discuss this with my family doctor at my next appointment.
- My allergies have been at an all-time high this past year, so itās time to commit to a daily non-drowsy allergy pill. The last few days I’ve been taking one each morning and…it seems to help.
BLOG
- I knew I had forgotten something blog-related in my brain dump on Saturday. I am NOT participating in NaBloPoMo this year. Between the blog and Patreon I’m already publishing 7 posts/week and that feels like more than enough content to be sending out into the world. To anyone doing NaBloPoMo this time, my commenting frequency is going to be sparse!
- I discovered today (when Meagan Francis started responding to everyone’s questions) that the nesting function in my comment section is no longer working. Argh. Technology is great…when it works. Apologies to everyone who has been commenting and unable to nest a response/reply directly to others. (Nesting still works for me as the administrator so I was oblivious.) Oops…
MY GIANT BOOK PILE
- Again, I felt so seen. Many of you mentioned the same sense of overwhelm when your TBR stack gets too big. #ReaderProblems
- I feel like this is a safe space for me to admit (after openly discussing that my holds list has gotten out on control) I have added at LEAST 10 books to my holds list this week.
- John was away this week, so I carved out extra time to read. Unfortunately, most books fell squarely in the Meh category but I’ve started We Do Not Part (by Nobel Prize-winning author Han Kang) and it’s beautifully written. I’m hoping for a 5-star read! So far, so good.
- Another ādemeritā area for me lately has been daily Bible reading. I loved working through The Bible Recap last year, but starting it again right away ended up feeling like too much. Our church is going through the Book of Ruth this month. My father-in-law had gifted me a book about Ruth a few years ago which I read and enjoyed. Now I have extra context since I’m actively going through the story each Sunday. I pulled the book off the shelf, started reading a chapter each morning, and it has been wonderful.
- I’m currently reading Gone-Away Lake by Elizabeth Enright to Indy at bedtime lately. A classic I’d never heard of or read before!
TO-DO LISTS
- Iām trying to create a to-do list each day thatās both realistic and triaged. Once I reach the end, Iām done. I might still do things, but having a defined stopping point helps me not feel like I should be accomplishing things all the time. If my list is all crossed off, thatās my cue to sit down with a book.
- Several of you mentioned putting on music or a podcast to get started ā this definitely helps. And setting a timer (another popular tip) often gives me the little push I need to overcome initial inertia. Once Iām started, keeping going seems to be relatively easy.
- I am not a big podcast listener, but I’ve heard so much about Unicorn Girl that I started listening and I can tell this story is going to get cra-zy (and will likely end up as a Netflix documentary one day)…
BIG DECISIONS
- I remain humbled by those who shared the big, hard things happening in their lives. Thank you to everyone who reached out to confide about the challenges or decisions you and people you love are facing. <3
- I took my own advice and broke a few looming decisions into smaller, actionable steps…and made noticeable progress. As usual, the stewing is so much worse than the doing.
PARENTING
- Parenting has a little rough lately. One child seems to be in a phase of obstinacy (a fairly new behaviour); the other, a phase of constant sullenness. Iāll let you use your detective skills to guess which is which.
- Maybe itās the early-school-year exhaustion? Maybe something in the water? Everyone was so agreeable a few weeks ago!
- It probably doesnāt help that both kids have had an ongoing sniffly nose for almost two months. Itās not enough to keep them home, but probably enough to make them perpetually cranky. I think some of it is allergies??? What is going on? Is it something in our house? Is it the air quality from local wildfire smoke? Pollen????
- And then, they’ll each have their moments of being absolute angels. Or they’ll say something so wise or kind or funny and my heart will swell up with love and tenderness. Thank goodness for those moments! They really do make such a difference.
MISC
- Iāve been putting off some major office maintenance: Iām dreadfully behind on our business bookkeeping, and I have a small mountain of receipts waiting to be filed. I DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS. My plan? Manageable chunks. I am adding one specific line item to my to-do list each day instead of tackling everything at once.
CURRENT RESET BUTTONS
- Getting out for a walk. One day Iād been staring at my laptop trying to work on a project for what felt like hours and was feeling tired and stuck. I knew the answer ā it was called āgo for a walk.ā Hooray Cool Blogger’s Walking Club!
- Next week, Iām heading to the lake to visit my parents for my bi-annual solo getaway. Itās not quite a silent retreat, but my responsibilities fade away to almost nothing. No school pickups, no meal prep, no laundry piles. I am so looking forward to this!
FOOD
- Frustratingly, people continue to want to eat three times a day.
- On Sunday afternoon, I made a big pot of soup, and I cannot overstate how happy Monday-Me was to find it waiting in the fridge. SO HAPPY. Ditto Tuesday-Me at lunchtime, when I didnāt have to figure out how to add veggies to my lunch meal ā I just reheated soup.
- I am also trying to USE THINGS UP. Random crusts in the freezer = Baked French Toast. Half a bag of frozen green beans = the veggie of choice to go with our rice and pork for supper. I am using up the apples that are starting to go mushy and the last handful of potatoes, etc. We have a small(ish) freezer so it wasn’t out of hand but it still feels cathartic to work with things I have onsite and get a cleanish slate in terms of the larder. (J, I used the word larder for your benefit because I know you got a chuckle out of that before.)
- I have decided I want to make one night a week ā probably, for a variety of reasons, Thursday ā Charcuterie Night. My kids looooove charcuterie and it’s easy to mix and match based on what we have on hand. It’s also the perfect opportunity to use up the last few cashews, bits of cheese, and the handful of olives. Put a hodge podge out on a wooden board and it’s not “cleanup”…it’s a fun finger-food meal! (Which reminds me that when the kids were little, I occassionally covered the table in newspaper and put out little piles of things like veggies, fruit, and chicken nuggets. We called it a Pirate Supper! We’d eat with our hands and cleanup was just pulling up the newspaper. It was SO fun.)
HOUSE
- Guess who called? THE PAINTER. After months and months of waiting, she finally worked through her backlog, and itās our turn. Soā¦the hallway is getting painted after all. She starts today!
- One thing really stressing me out was my closet. We are in between seasons and I needed to put everything I wasn’t going to wear for the next six months in our guest room closet. This took me less than 5 minutes and the impact on my mood has been incredible. It is so nice to open my closet and only see clothes that will be warm and cozy for fall/winter. I tidied up all my TBR books that aren’t currently in rotation (at one point this week I had 4 different books on the go).
That’s a wrap for now.
Your turn.
- Do you have a go-to meal for specific nights of the week?
- What do you do with out-of-season clothes?
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Kids parenting challenges could be painful at the time. I’ve experienced recently with a new teen and my strategy has been to hold my breath, let the silence comes in to pause the moment and let her figure out that was not right attitude. sometimes it resolves by it own in a couple hours if not less, sometimes a bit longer, but the pause helps both of us.
regarding meals, I was going to plan for a week or two at the time but we found a new solution, which is delegate to husband to decide what to have for dinner, take out the ingredients, and the lady figures out how to make them. so far has been a bliss.
That sounds like a blissful arrangement indeed!!
This is such a pleasing set of updates, Elisabeth! Well, except for the parenting stuff, and you know I am right there with you. Sullenness? Obstinacy? Delightfulness? Check, check, and check. The parenting stuff, sleep stuff, everything — it feels like a real season of uncertainty/churning is sweeping through our blog community. Is this a stage-of-life thing? But many of us are in separate stages of life. Hmm. It’s nice to feel like it’s not just me, though.
PIRATE DINNERS. Omg, that is such a charming idea. Another reason I wish I had known you many years ago! Please keep us updated about charcuterie night, which sounds so fancy and also easy and fun.
I do nothing with out of season clothes and I’m beginning to feel like I should. Since I run so hot, I often wear sleeveless shirts year-round, although usually accompanied by a cardigan in the cooler months. But I now have a hefty collection of shorts that I just need to tidy and set aside. I also have a large collection of Things That Used to Fit that I really need to decide whether to toss/donate or set aside for some possible future time when they fit again.
What is in the water in 2025? And my things are very small on the broad scale of what I know other people are dealing with; I wonder if it’s 2025 or just…life. Though it does seem more chaotic and heavy lately, across the board.
I read about Pirate Suppers in a magazine or parenting book and it was one thing that stuck in my brain. It was both fun and so practical!!!
I had to chuckle about running hot. I own ONE tank top. ONE. That is literally it. I am always frozen. Can’t we find some way to meet in the middle? I’ll send you some of my cool genes and you send me some of your warm ones and then we can both be at a comfortable temperature??
This year I have gotten rid of literally everything that doesn’t currently fit. To be fair, I buy all my clothes second hand so the investment has been low, but I do not see myself losing weight in the near future so I want to be comfortable!
It sounds like you have a sensible plan of action! I love that you’ve trialed your to-do list. Things need to get done by not everything, all at once!
Teens- sigh. Respond , not react, is my new motto. Give yourself time to determine what you actually need to do in the situation. ( or send them to their room for a time out š or maybe give yourself a time out – you don’t need to be around a bad attitude, esp if your presence will just feed the sulks.
Respond, not react. LOVE THIS! Such wisdom.
I am glad you have found some ways to tackle the overwhelmed feeling. I forgot to comment about reading in bed on the last post. That is non-negotiable for me. Our house is not set up for me to have another convenient and cozy reading place. I have struggled with insomnia in the past but I have been able to manage it while still reading in bed. So I am going to die on the āreading in bed is okā hill.
Our eating has been all over the place since 80% of our meals are coming from friends or meal delivery these days. This is a temporary phenomenon. Eventually I will have to meal plan but today is not that day. Ha. We donāt have go to meals for a certain day of the week but we only make 3 recipes/week and then get by on something else. Our kids eat differently than us most nights (which I know will be appalling to some people but oh wellā¦).
The fall walks are the #1 thing saving my life these days, though!!
I’ve been reading in bed every night this week. I just am not willing to give it up. I feel like lack of sleep and lack of reading time are equally horrible so I’ll keep the reading š
I am so, so glad you’ve found the consistent walks helpful <3
Pirate supper is so cool!!! My kids would have loved that. On the Friday nights my husband and I don’t go out, we have ‘Happy Hour’ night at home with charcuterie and appetizers. My daughter that lives with us enjoys that. On Sunday nights, we always have Big Salad Sunday. I have a rotating list of salads (Chinese, Mexican, Taza, Harvest, Cobb, etc.) to make.
Would you believe I haven’t read in bed since I was a kid? Reading at night totally knocks me out. I’m strictly a TV-in-bed girlie now. When I notice I’m missing part of the dialogue, I turn it off.
What a fun Friday-night tradition.
Big Salad Sunday sounds delicious. I love a good, hearty salad.
I can get sleepy reading (though I never, ever fall asleep reading), but even if I’m tired while watching something, I always end up staying up to watch it finish so it is a bad habit for me. I almost wish I could fall asleep to shows. I know many people who love doing it (and do so every evening!)
Glad you’re feeling better! I also will not part with reading in bed. As a matter of fact, I’m going to be a rebel and say it actually helps me sleep. I read until I feel a wave of sleepiness come over me, and then I put the book down and go to sleep! I think if I weren’t reading I would just be lying there, waiting to get tired.
Ah yes. Teens and tweens- isn’t it fun? Just try to keep in mind that this is what they’re supposed to be doing at this age- they need to start separating themselves from you and explore their independence. If you can look at it that way, rather than that they’re trying to drive you crazy, it might help.
A solo trip to the lake house=HOORAY!!! I’m thinking that will give you a great reset.
What a helpful reframe that this is all normal. I know it is, some days just feel a bit whiplashy! Yesterday, the kids were both almost angelic! The day before they were practically screaming at each other over having the light ON or OFF during breakfast. The light, Jenny. And I know it’s ridiculous but, also, it still really brings down the vibe of the household when they’re at each others throats. MOVING ON.
Yes, I am so, so, so ready to get away for a few days.
I read Gone Away Lake last year!
It’s been a fun read, so far. Indy is definitely invested in the story which is cute. I’ve seen there are some follow-up books (or maybe just one) so it’s a little series of sorts.
I love everything by Elizabeth Enright. There is just the one follow up, Return to Gone Away, just as good as the one you are reading now. I assume you know of/have read all four Melendy books, which are even better? Her most fammous book, Thimble Summer, which won the Carnegie Medal is the least good, in my opinion anyway.
I have not read the Melendy books! Did she write The Saturday’s? If so, I’m pretty sure I read that?
Oh wow, there is a lot here, I do not know where to start. I guess I am in the massive minority in that I don’t read in my bed. I only read on the couch in the living room and then I just…go to bed? But it sounds like that is horrifying to the general population. I have no idea if it helps with sleep or not, but I find it supremely uncomfortable to read in bed and prefer hanging out on the couch. Personally I like to keep the bed for sleep and sex and also occasionally to fold my clothes on.
Speaking of clothes, I now have a huge closet so I don’t worry about out-of-season clothes. I didn’t in Calgary either, but my closet was small and I had things in closets throughout the house. The biggest thing was cycling in footwear and outerwear in the back entryway, and I think all of the out-of-season shoes etc I kept in the basement closet.
I used to have a go-to meal for every single day of the week! Tuesday was stir-fry, Monday pasta, Wednesday pita pizzas…now I am much more flexible about it, because, you know, not having kids in school/ strict schedules to follow. One day this too can be yours!!!
I was thinking of you when I wrote about reading in bed because I know you do not!
A walk-in closet (and a kitchen with an island) are in my dream house! I don’t want a big house by any standard, but I would love to have a walk-in closet with all sorts of built-ins and drawers and shelves and ALL THOSE ORGANIZING THINGS. And an island!
There will be a time after this, right?? Which is sad, but also…I’m excited!
I laughed out loud at Frustratingly people continue to want to eat three times a day. Bah ha ha. Our meals are going farther with kids moved out/away at college, but I’m still trying to run to my folks’ house to drop off meals when I can. When I’m in a bind, I thaw ground turkey that I keep in the freezer and I make turkey meat tacos. Curly’s not a fan, but if I let her do what she wants with the meat (I tend to add Western dressing to make taco salad), then she manages.
I have a huge walk in closet. It’s one of my fav things about this house. I keep all of my clothes in there year round. I do need to go thru things and get rid of them which is harder to do when I don’t have to haul everything out at the change of the season.
Feeding people just never ends! People are always so hungry. And they can eat things so much faster than I cook them. A batch of muffins can disappear in a blink, in less time than prepping and cleaning up from them.
THANK YOU FOR MENTIONING UNICORN GIRL! I was really needing something exactly like it and it’s perfect and made my Thursday so much less awful (Thursdays are really rough at work) and I just wanted to thank you because truly you made a measurable difference in my day and week by just mentioning that podcast. I started it on my drive to work this morning and am already half way through episode three. I am LOVING IT.
I hope all the hard things get easier, and aren’t immediately replaced by new hard things. I’m impressed with your persistence in breaking the extra-unpleasant stuff up into smaller chunks and dealing with them. I do find I feel better when I at least get started, but it’s still so hard to start! I’m sorry I don’t comment much (ever?) but I always love your posts. Thanks for writing! And mentioning what you’re listening to. š
Awww. What a sweet comment. Thanks for taking the time to leave it and I’m so glad Unicorn Girl “scratched the itch” at the right time! I’m only done 2 episodes, but it’s already so bizarre!
Yes, that is the first one, but the three follow ups are better, set in the countryside rather than New York. They are The Four Storey Mistake, And Then There Were Five and Spiderweb for Two. You can certainly get them second hand online in the UK very cheaply. I would think your son would like them if he likes Gone Away Lake and I’m sure you would.
Thanks! We have a little queue of books lined up, and I will add these to it!
It’s weird how people expect meals three times a day. THREE.
Awesome about the painter coming….so what was it that Indy did in the hallway that marred the walls? Can he do that elsewhere? Or is it gonna happen again and again? (I can’t remember what it was)
I don’t have specific meal days, but I should. That would help me solve the age-old dilemma about dinner.
I’ve never heard of Gone Away Lake either; hopefully, you will give a review of this one.
I also loathe office cleanup/bookkeeping. I put it off for far too long, and then I have no choice in the matter.
He uses mini sticks! We have mini nets, a mini puck, and mini nets and he has spent hours and hours banging away in there. It left marks ALL over the wall, which was fine because it was old, awful paint.
But he really doesn’t use them hardly at all anymore. But I’ve told him he can use them in the basement hallway if he wants to play now.
We don’t have go-to meals for specific nights, but we have a pretty consistent weekly meal schedule that we rotate through. It makes the day-to-day decisions on what to eat so much easier. I do like the idea of Pirate Dinners! I mean who doesn’t like the idea of snacky finger foods?
Parenting sounds challenging. I am sometimes thankful I personally don’t have to deal with the moodiness, but I am also delighted that you have these wonderful moments with your kids that all make up for it! <3
There are moments when I want to pull my hair out, but at the end of the day when they come out with these deep, wise insights or tell a silly knock-knock joke to make me laugh, it balances everything out. I know I’m very fortunate to have such great kids. But they certainly have their “moments”…don’t we all!
Ok, that makes sense! Not something my girls ever did. š¤£
I hope you enjoy We Do Not Part. The writing really is amazing. I like to read in bed, but G goes earlier than I do, so I either read on the couch or usually, in the bath (which I know is not your thing). When we travel, I try to pack my book reading light, with orange light so I can read in bed without disrupting G’s sleep.
I will echo Jenny’s comments regarding the kids. I’m sure it’s just a phase. If you can, letting everything pass by like water off a duck’s back is often the best strategy, and just being there when they do signal that they need you. Informing them that their behaviour is rude, out of line or whatever is fine, but leaving it at that. Family is often the safe place where they know they can let big emotions out, test the waters, and they’ll still be loved.
So far it’s great. I hope to finish it today (while sitting in front of the fire).
An orange light! I need to investigate this. I have a reading light, but it is quite bright (though John doesn’t seem to complain).
That’s the thing about parenting – there is always a phase. You get through one and it’s straight on to another. And a great reminder that YES, home is a safe space to let down your guard. Especially after “keeping things together” all day at school, etc.
I listened to the whole thing in three days. My daughter did too. We talked about it incessantly this weekend. A crazy story. Just totally insane. I loved it. I really missed it today. š
I’m only 2 episodes in, but I have a long car ride at the end of the week and plan to binge finish it!
I’m glad I’m not the only one who was struggling with nested comments on your blog – I was trying to respond on my own Gratitude post and it wasn’t working, but I thought it was user error, haha.
Are you in perimenopause already? I’m asking since we are the same age and I haven’t even thought about it yet. I’m not having any symptoms, but oof. I am not ready!!
Out of season clothes hahahahahahaha. I have, like, 3 lightish coats and maybe 10 long-sleeved shirts. One pair of fashion boots. That’s the extent of my winter wear. It all lives in my closet.
I do get some night sweats at night, and I THINK I’m sliding into perimenopause BUT WHO KNOWS???
No, not just you. I’ve overhauled it and…hopefully it works better now?
Lisa, I have been a longtime reader of your blog and no longer have access to your site. Your link brings me to a private WordPress site. If you no longer have a public blog, that is totally fine! If your posts are public, I’d love to continue to follow you! Thank you!
Lisa’s blog is temporarily offline while she handles a person matter. I think she has plans to make it public again, but at a later date. <3